I’ve been thinking about the conversation around boys falling behind academically, and I want to share a perspective that I don’t see brought up often.

First, I’m not blaming girls or women for this. Girls being encouraged to succeed academically is a good thing. That progress matters. But I do think there’s something happening on the other side that we don’t talk about enough.

Growing up, I noticed that girls are often strongly encouraged to perform well in school. They’re told to work hard, prove themselves, and outshine expectations. Meanwhile, boys are sometimes raised with a more relaxed attitude toward academics like “he’ll figure it out” or “boys will be boys.” That difference in expectations might matter more than we think. If girls are consistently being guided, pushed, and academically supported, while boys are given more freedom but less structure, that can create a gap over time. Boys need just as much goal-setting, mentorship, and accountability.

Another factor I wonder about is the lack of male role models in education and mentorship spaces. Teaching and youth volunteering are heavily female-dominated fields. But for boys, especially those without strong male figures at home, having positive male teachers or mentors can be powerful.

We see programs with hundreds of boys waiting for mentors, but volunteer pools are often mostly women. Again, women mentoring boys is valuable but there is something uniquely impactful about having a male mentor who understands certain lived experiences directly.

There’s also the structural side of education itself. Sitting in classrooms for 7+ hours, highly sedentary, compliance-focused learning, that environment does not suit all students equally.

we should intentionally ask what they need and not assume they’ll self-correct.

I’d be interested in hearing other perspectives on this. What factors do you think are most overlooked in this conversation?