Misandry’s impact on young men

Due-Heron-5577 · 2025-03-27T15:23:01+00:00

It’s hard for me to offer more than a speculative answer because I’m not aware of any research that has looked at this. But I do have a strong hunch from observation and experience.

One of the things that I wish people would do when considering men’s issues is to consider how very very different the messaging environment has been for boys and girls for the better part of two decades. Sexualising weirdness aside, girls seem to largely experience messages of empowerment, encouragement and positivity about their gender identity. Boys on the other hand don’t hear anything positive about their gender identity. Theirs is a messaging environment composed entirely of negativity, shame and blame. Recently, on social media, this has evolved into overt hostility and hatred. This is the media and online environment that our boys have grown up in.

The differential outcomes we see between young men and young women should not be surprising in light of this. They’re at the outlet of a pipeline - expect more of the same in the future because the messages boys are getting now are much worse than they were 10-15 years ago and seem to be worsening in several respects.

It amazes me how laypeople can watch adolescence, or hear about Andrew Tate, and assume that these problems come out nowhere or that they’re just what naturally floods in to fill a vacuum left by traditional male roles.

marchingrunjump · 2025-03-27T18:10:04+00:00

I’m puzzled about where the stories about men’s experience of living in the current world is.

Some years ago, Christian Tafdrup stumbled into making the film A Terrible Woman about a guy ending up with a subtly dominating and controlling woman.

The budget was only 3mio $ but was an instant hit showing the world from an uncommon perspective. Of course it was hated by women and raised a lot of controversy.

There must be other such films book or whatever. Fiction and the stories we tell each other forms our understanding of the world. Absent of updated narratives we’re stuck in our worldview.

TheRealMasonMac · 2025-03-27T23:57:27+00:00

Gen Z men grew up, likely as young as 5/6, experiencing a pervasive sense of ostracization simply for their sex. They were being told they could be sex offenders, rapists, etc. before they even hit puberty and began to see girls sexually--or if they're not attracted to women to begin with. It is human nature--as natural as getting angry when someone slaps you out of nowhere--to retaliate in some shape or form.

So, you have young men who aren't mature enough nor equipped with the right tools to navigate this horrific social circumstance. And what happened? The "manosphere" did.

And there's no actual answer to it from a healthy perspective. It is incredibly difficult to find people who genuinely critique the feminist dialogue without using that as a basis for further hatred. The only response has been, "See! Look at how men are upset that they're losing their privilege!" (and other nonsense).

Gen Alpha men--and possibly even women--are either going to be extremely opposed to Western feminism, or they'll be even more depressed than Gen Z. Maybe both.

As someone who is so passionate about clinical mental health research and treatment, it genuinely makes me so angry and upset at how feminists are retaliating based on their traumatic experiences--creating a cycle trauma will last for generations--as opposed to genuinely looking inward alongside a therapist to see why they feel so antagonistic towards men.

I struggle to believe that it is a comforting experience to believe half the population is against you and that you must, in some way, retaliate--that goes for both men and women's experiences. And I also struggle to believe that it's necessarily true rather than being a distortion of reality based off prior experiences.

Due_Outside2611 · 2025-03-27T15:03:40+00:00

Definitely has something to do with it.

I was being gaslit when i mentioned people putting women on a pedestal societally speaking as compared to men.

I told a dude to try and find me an instance of a woman being beaten, killed, or raped in public with lots of people around and people not helping her, as happens to men on video frequently.

He told me i had a warped worldview and then sent me this wiki link.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder\_of\_Kitty\_Genovese#:\~:text=Two%20weeks%20after%20the%20murder,of%20public%20apathy%20was%20exaggerated.

Long story short, happened at 3:15 am, there weren't many witnesses, despite that, one woke up and did scare away her attacker, a bunch of people called the police who never showed up until 7 am.

Witnesses did look for her but didn't find her as she hid behind a door in an alleyway next to the building and passed out due to blood loss, instead of in the front or rear of the building where she would have been able to be assisted by witnesses.

The perp came back to the scene 10 minutes later, and found her an additional 30 minutes later after searching for her.

Trying to paint this as apathy, when some literally helped, searched for her, couldn't find her, and many called 911 to report it. When realistically they did help, but in her delirium she made it harder to find her help and the police never showed up.

How the times reported it is that a woman was attacked on a busy street and at least 37 witnesses saw something and did nothing which the wiki itself debunks in the second paragraph...

Anyways, there's also the teacher biases in grading and punishments, as well as DEI for acceptance to colleges, additional afterschool programs only for women but not for men, and scholarships only for women and almost none for men.

Despite that, men score higher on standardized tests, the only way to explain the standardized test scores being higher than their non-blind graded tests is widespread systemic bias

Like yeah maybe that has something to do with who goes to college.

anthonyprov · 2025-03-28T12:18:36+00:00

We're seeing a turn where people now want to associate the so called "gender wars" with elites who want to divide us, or Russia wanting to destabilize the West, or something in between, but we all have selective short term memory apparently. Legitimate misandry flourished for a time; open and brazen prejudice was acceptable under the guise of healing trauma or the empowerment of marginalized groups. To raise a voice against prejudice is natural, but you seriously couldn't protest or levy criticism because the cultural moment, informed by ideology, had decided to exclude and silence you with extreme social prejudice.

"This was just online" some people will say. "Walk away from the screen." Those girls at your high-school suggest otherwise. And adults participated in this too. They shouldn't get to blame Russia or the algorithm and escape accountability or reflection.

And even if it was just online, don't words matter? Are we not the same culture that likes to wring its hands about rhetoric, the proper use of a platform to spread ideas, representation, and the power of narratives?

It felt cruel because it probably was cruel; you experienced social hostility and it was sanctioned by an institution. It was female chauvinism, plain and simple. There's a better, wiser, and balanced future for us, men and women, but I'm sorry you had to live through that. I'm even sorrier that it'll take a while before this phase of history is re-examined. But I think things are shifting even as I type.

In the meanwhile, I hope you can put away the bitterness, as hard as it is, and try and forge something good for yourself and those around you. It's easy to get distracted, but there are things within your sphere of "control." It's probably the best that most can do. Cheers.

YetAgain67 · 2025-03-28T15:56:25+00:00

The problem is no matter how much we speak on how terrible messaging has been for boys and men, it will fall on deaf ears.

Why?

Because these people reject the very notion on the face of it. We literally CAN'T talk about it in any way that can gain mainstream traction, because it's instantly shut down and attacked as lies, entitlement, and toxicity.

There will always be dismissal, insults, victim blaming, gender essentialism, whataboutism, and outright denial.

Boys and men literally speaking up for themselves is demonized and attacked. The very notion of boys and men having problems is in itself, dismissed outright with venom and bile.

How can we hope to gain any kind of ground when the very conversation itself is violently rejected?

BloomingBrains · 2025-03-29T08:37:59+00:00

I too was a of a similar age during the rise of 3rd wave feminism and felt inspired to write about some of my experiences by this post.

I think the most damaging thing for me was constantly getting rejected for seemingly doing nothing wrong and often in harsh ways. Sometimes there was just this instant coldness and look of "what the fuck do you think you are doing, actually talking to me in public right now". Other times it wasn't so overt. Being misdirected with techniques like giving out a fake number, or asking for my number under the auspices of "texting me back" so I wouldn't have hers. Sometimes people would stop hanging out with or even talking to me just because I asked out a girl they knew and she said no. They just automatically assumed I wasn't going to respect no for an answer even though they knew me personally and that I wouldn't do that.

What's so psychologically impactful about this is the knowledge that you're simply being prematurely dismissed as a creep, as a threat with no redeemable qualities that might merit a chance. That she's so afraid of you she won't just say no in case you hurt her. It makes the idea of earning a woman's trust, let alone affection, seem like this hopelessly unrealistic, insurmountable pipe dream. It absolutely tears your self-esteem to shreds. It got to the point for me where I couldn't even be around women without an internal dialogue running in my head along the lines of "she doesn't think you're human, you're less than an insect to her". Over time you internalize that shit even if you laugh it off and pretend like you don't care publicly. Even permanently fucked up my sleep cycle to this day, all because I would lie awake at night thinking about was how I'd been a hugless, kissless virgin for the past 10 years of adulthood and how I was probably going to die that way.

And the real fucked up thing is you regularly see/hear stories about guys being actually creepy and misogynistic, but they're still getting girls, so you think "holy fuck dude, I must be worse than THAT". So you try to be even more polite and gentle but that only makes you even less likable, so you try even harder, etc. Its a vicious cycle of soul-annihilating despair that completely gaslights you.

On top of that if you try to tell anyone about your feelings or how you just want some fucking *affection*, they say things like "girls are not your slaves" and "found the next Elliot Roger" as if those statements are in any way comparable. As if women talking about how they want to feel special isn't 100% accepted.

Its so infuriating. I'll admit, it made me hate women for a long time. I saw them as soulless robots who didn't even appreciate the treasure they possessed and whom I couldn't possibly relate to emotionally.

I consider myself as having won the lotto by somehow getting out of that mindset and finding a loving girlfriend that enjoys affection as much as I do.

TL;DR: Dating is every bit the minefield women say it is in regards to physical safety, as it is in regard's to men's emotional safety.

ElegantAd2607 · 2025-03-27T23:43:55+00:00

Feminists would probably respond by telling you to self-reflect on why you feel hurt about women saying bad things about men and the things that men do. If you're offended, you're a part of the problem. If I hear those words again I might just lose my mind. 🤦‍♀️

They don't care about anything except their agenda. If I say, "men are negatively affected" they'll downplay it. But if I say, "autistic men are negatively affected" they might actually consider what I'm saying. You have to be a minority in order for them to care.

Once I saw a post on Tumblr where a person (most likely a feminist) talked about how black men and queer men and autistic men have it rough. It's like they functionally cannot care about someone unless they're down the totem pole within their intersectional ideology.

Ok_Wonder3107 · 2025-03-27T15:13:54+00:00

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. Most of the “misogyny” in society is just a legitimate response to all the misandry that is normalised in our society. At this point, if someone calls me a misogynist, I’ll take it as a compliment.

RoyalOrganization676 · 2025-03-28T16:41:21+00:00

I was born in the late 80s, graduated high school in the late 00s. My parents split when I was very young, and there were no men around throughout most of my upbringing.

Every day until my teens, I would get out of school and spend the rest of the day at my mother's office. She ran an animal hospital and was the only veterinarian on staff. She only hired women. With no men around, they would casually talk about hating men all day. All men are pigs, men only want sex, men are so stupid and easy to manipulate, men are liars, men are controlling. All the hits. The lobby was decorated with cute, animal-related posters and tchotchkes, but in the back, it was all trashy man-hating stuff decorating every wall. This is the mid-90s i'm talking about.

Eventually, my mother took a liking to a teenage girl she had hired whose mother had left her to live with her single father, and so that girl came to live with us, and my mother told me to call this girl my sister. Now the man-hating followed me home, and it never stopped. They would stay up late having hart-to-heart talks about boys over wine coolers, burn this girls' exes' things in the fireplace. This girl got to have my mother's love, and i felt like an unlovable nuisance. Once, I asked my "sister" if I was a pig, too, and she answered "no, you're still just a kid."

I didn't have a single male teacher until the seventh grade, and very few after that. As fsr back as I can remember, the adult women were telling the young girls that men were always going to oppress them and take advantage of them and tell them they couldn't do things because they were girls, and there is no way that didn't breed some amount of sexist resentment.

empireofadhd · 2025-03-30T16:34:07+00:00

Im an older millenkal and grew up I Sweden with two sisters and parents. My mom and my sisters are staunch feminists. When I entered puberty there was a lot of shaming in sex ed and at home about men being pigs and such. I was also bullied as I was meek and not confident. So in school I was the faggot and at home I was a patriarchal tyrant. When some bullies tricked me and a friend to watch some porn on a school computer they announced to the whole class what we had ”done” to shame and guilt trip us into being better men. They threatened to tell my mom about it and as I knew how she would react (destroy the patriarchy by beating me up) I told her. I still remember that day as the day when I broke as a human.

I was involved in some left wing activities in my early 20s and spent a lot of time around feminist women. I tried to fit in by being the kind of man they said men should be, basically harmless. I tried courting some women but they rejected me because I was too pathetic. My theory is that I became a nice guy as a trauma response to the feminist upbringing. I think it’s fairly common.

I had a short affair with a woman in my mid 20s, but I was too unstable to make it last. Also my mom sabotaged it and bullied her as she wanted to keep me for herself.

Later on I started therapy. It was metoo actually that triggered it. All those yelling women and all the talk about men being pigs triggered those childhood memories. I did not know why I reacted so strongly to it. I learned in therapy that it’s ok to be angry at women and that just because some women thing they are the good guys they are actually bullies.

I think my mom has some personality disorder and I got avoidant personality disorder as a result. There has been a few women who said they were in love with me etc. But I can’t handle intimacy.

Anyways when I was 35, after 10 years of no intimacy I ended up buying a sex doll. I tried really hard with therapy and dating apps but could not make it work. I got like 1-2 dates per year. The sex doll was amazing. It’s the first ”woman” if you can call it that that was not mean or belittling, cruel or violent to me, while at the same time being intimate. I was also massively touch starved and it helped with those issues. During those years I did therapy bi weekly and thinking so much about these things made me angrier and angrier. It was like a depression rage.

I regretted so much listening and trusting these women and believing what threy said. I regretted internalizing all that shame and hatred they dumped on me, while claiming they loved me.

I actually asked my closest female friend if she wanted her kids to marry a guy like me. Her response was ewww no. I then asked her why she wanted me to be this kind of man. Her response was that it was comfortable and convenient for her to have me in her life. Like my dreams had no value, the only thing she could think of was herself and her needs. This pretty much sums up the source of my hatred of women and feminists I think. They are devoid of empathy and can’t think behyond their own needs. They don’t see men and boys as human, even their own children, students and husbands.

Now I’m 40, still no sex or kids etc since I was 25. I got rid of the doll because I had to move but I’m thinking of getting another one.

I still hate feminists and their stupid ideology. Sure it’s great for women and all but for men it’s just rat poison. I feel sorry for all the young guys having to grow up with mothers like these.

Sure not all are rancid psychopaths but feminism is a great way to hide violence and abuse as it permits and encourages violence/neglect against men and boys.

I can’t talk to my sisters or my family about anything personal and o avoid people as much as I can.

I have a job and money etc. But I’m still depressed as I feel like I missed out on so much in life including having a family and such. I tried adopting at one point but men can’t adopt aloe where I live. I guess I could spend all my money on a surrogate child but that feels wrong.

I go on dating apps but even if I get matches I either don’t know what to do or get triggered by something, usually progressive/left wing feminist jokes etc.

Former_Range_1730 · 2025-03-28T03:15:47+00:00

"it became hip and trendy for girls to openly mock and hate men for being… men."

I learned that it's a particular demographic of girls who do this. Then there's the other demographic who actually like men. I started to hang with those women, and the 'female problem' thing disappeared.

Women aren't a monolith.

Flashy-Discussion-57 · 2025-03-28T17:47:20+00:00

That's why I don't know if the left is really for men. As an example, I was listening to a Democratic streamer talking about Harry Sisson. She thought it was stupid that they cancelled him because he's being a "typical 20s boy", that both men and women should have rosters because the other person probably does. "It's normal". That teaches women on the left to call men predators because men are wanting rosters but don't relies women don't want to share partners, when reality is, most men and women don't want to share partners and are willing to give up multiple partners for that. Imo, they align more with the bad parts of the red pill than the good parts.

ApprehensiveRow8360 · 2025-07-20T21:09:10+00:00

if you have an issue with women saying “teach men not to rape” when the term “boys will be boys” is widely accepted + used regularly… then, my friend, you are one of the men that us misandrists hate.

DurumAndFries · 2025-08-23T22:30:37+00:00

We're already seen the gender divide in especially gen Z when it comes to voting for Trump. If these online toxic feminists want to keep pushing their misandrist language, they will push more men into the arms of bad people who will take their problems seriously. It's that simple.

EricShanRick · 2025-11-24T14:26:46+00:00

I really hate what feminism has become. Its now mostly just a bunch of narcissists looking for an ego boost and hating in men for no reason. Men deserve respect and positive affirmations

msredMCromance · 2025-12-29T01:53:39+00:00

Misandry doesn't even exist tho

CodeMedical388 · 2026-05-24T07:46:20+00:00

FEMINAZIS AND THEIR WANNABES WILL END UP IN THE SULPHURIC LAKE OF THE ETERNAL HELLFIRE, THANK YOU JESUS!! 🙏🙏🙏✝️ WOMAN WAS A CLEARLY LAST-MINUTE SECOND THOUGHT , AND ADAM WAS DOING JUST FIIIIIINE WITHOUT THAT EVER COMPLAINING, SATAN-CONSORTING & UNGRATEFUL B- WORD!!

Fantastic_Pie4262 · 2026-06-17T16:19:50+00:00

oh poor thing, misandry kills as much as misoginy huh ? Little incel

Title	Misandry’s impact on young men
Author	yung-curmudgeon
Upvotes	316
Comments	63
Date	March 27, 2025 4:12 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/1jkvm9b/misandrys_impact_on_young_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/misandrys-impact-on-young-men.1547805 https://theredarchive.com/post/1547805

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