We should stop using the terms "incel" and "nice guy"

sn95joe84 · 2025-04-19T05:05:57+00:00

The fact that ‘incel’ is not considered a slur tells you everything you need to know. A gender-based insult denigrating someone’s sexual prowess, yet people act like it’s some sort of academic term.

It’s hate speech. It’s just that it’s socially acceptable to hate men.

Logos89 · 2025-04-19T04:27:38+00:00

Based. It's always bothered me that people who believe we don't have free will decide "bootstraps" and "personal responsibility" is fine for some people.

We should think of people suffering this like drug addicts caught in a physiological spiral that will destroy them without proper intervention.

JohnGoodman_69 · 2025-04-19T06:46:28+00:00

I'll always be impressed about the psyop feminists pulled changing the meaning of "nice guy". To them a "nice guy" = asshole meanwhile an actual asshole = assertive confident man.

The reason for this is that women don't value niceness in a partner like men do. So when men display a quality they want in their partner women demonize that trait because they don't value it. source: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0146167214543879

henrysmyagent · 2025-04-19T05:44:33+00:00

After being called an incel, I receive a strange reaction from women when I ask them if they respect men who sleep with hundreds of women.

They always say no.

"Then is it really an insult to accuse a man of having had few sexual partners if you don't think much of players?"

Fucking crickets.

MSHUser · 2025-04-19T13:40:56+00:00

Maybe we can do what they kept doing. Redefine terms and put our own definitions in them (or in this case, bring definitions back to its original form before feminist perspectives started taking over).

Feminist love to say "I don't think you know what feminism means, it means equality" or "the patriarchy doesn't mean all men, but it's a system built by men that all men implicitly benefit from" and they love to redefine things. Hell, they redefined the term 'toxic masculinity' in 2013 when its original definition was more akin to self-improvement.

So might as well rip a few strategies from their playbook.

Incel means an involuntary celebate. It's someone who hasn't had sex not out of choice. That's it. Weather they have malice or not is optional.

Nice guy - a guy that is kind, upstanding, civil, mostly agreeable (not a bad trait, it's actually part of the big 5). He's honest to a fault, and you always know where you stand with them.

It's normal for them to overlap an incel with an andrew tate misogynist, and nice guy with an insecure guy. It's time to start separating that overlap and redefine those terms to take it back

Imakemyownnamereddit · 2025-04-19T09:31:32+00:00

Not sure it would make any difference, the hatred is directed as virgin men and men women don't desire.

Feminists are hypocrites because they say men who desire women are entitled and shouldn't think they have a right to relationships and sex.

Yet they label any man who is rejected by women sexually, a creep, toxic, basically a monster.

Artear · 2025-04-19T12:29:17+00:00

"Nice guy" will never stop existing. It is the ultimate example of how women remove accountability from themselves. A man she dislikes, but who is actually a good person, must in reality be a horrible person pretending to be good. And any person who is an obvious piece of shit, that she's actually attracted to, just so happens to be a real nice guy pretending to be a shithead because he's protective or whatever. They're just ways for women to never have to admit that they're shallow too.

OffensiveBias_117 · 2025-04-19T09:30:58+00:00

"Incel" a term originally created by a woman to describe herself , now popularly used by women to insult men, oh the irony XD

Peptocoptr · 2025-04-20T04:03:34+00:00

Karen Straughan's video on the topic nails it down perfectly.

Late-Hat-9144 · 2025-04-20T06:04:11+00:00

Like many insults, incel is now so overused that it's lost all its power as far as im concerned, and that's happened because of new wave mikitant feminists who treat "incel" as interchangeable with "i don't like what you said".

CrazyGirlx420 · 2025-04-19T09:04:50+00:00

i dont understand one thing and i hope someone can help. why i only hear and see, embrace womens masculination and feminity of men, which are OF COURSE beautiful things, and finally both men and women can embrace their other sides. but in the mean time no one and nowhere mentioned about mens masculinity. which if i dont get it wrong, is the nature of men? i dont get it. and if we talk psychologicaly, both men and women have both sides, masculine and feminine. yet in many cases, masculinity of men is being treated either as odd, controling or traditional. i know many masculine men who are far awat from being ''traditional''. if i dont get it wrong, we are not talking about gender equality anymore, we talk about rejecting or limiting a whole identity of one gender. and also something else that caught my attention. whenever someone regardless of gender uses the term ''female'' is a reason for someones to be outrage and offended. while we call men incels. why while things for women become better, instead of calm down we become more outrageous? and its kinda ironic isnt it? while we used to also fight for mens rights under patriarchy (embracing your feminity is not a bad thing) NOW we put on a mask and say, nah, mens concerns are mens problems not ours, they can speak for themselves. even reject or deny nowadays that men also had and have problems under patriarchy. not to mention the sexiest thing ''youre a problem cause youre you, your gender''. please... dont lose your masculinity....

baitlyn · 2025-04-21T15:09:54+00:00

Hopefully this changes

Unusual_Implement_87 · 2025-04-24T01:41:28+00:00

I was a part of those online communities before Elliot Roger and when that incident happened it felt so bizarre seeing a word used by such an obscure small online community become part of mainstream language and how it is used as just a generic insult now.

It is also how I know how heavily straw manned "incels" are. It is actually so bad, similar to people thinking Canadians live in igloos.

AbysmalDescent · 2025-04-25T14:42:12+00:00

Using the terms incel or nice guy as slurs inherently reinforces false and misandric narratives that were created to further shame and attack men, while normalizing toxic social dynamics and cultural realities that disadvantage men. They are often used as a way to gaslight men about their own suffering, their own emotions and their often very valid responses to social inequality and injustice between genders.

Zenosaga_ · 2025-04-25T14:51:31+00:00

The word incel is just something simps and women call someone that’s not a simp or a white knight. I can’t even take it seriously because it’s only said by disgusting little simps and narcissistic women

I was married for 10 years, longer than most people can manage to keep a relationship going. But I’m called an incel for calling out women on their BS. Whatever they think the word incel implies has lost its meaning

sickkid29 · 2025-05-31T04:43:26+00:00

I totally agree

FreeRazzmatazz4613 · 2025-04-24T15:20:59+00:00

Incel is just a bigoted insult at this point. It's the new N word. And says terrible things about the person who USES IT.

CrazyGirlx420 · 2025-04-20T13:47:50+00:00

you know what it truely is and no one says or worse no one wants to admit? (in fact pseudo-feminists) SEXISM. thank you very much. oh wait isnt this the type of sexism we women used to fight and bleed for? no im pretty sure the table hasnt turned right? hmmmmm....

Flat-Mobile-1101 · 2025-04-24T02:52:31+00:00

There’s nobody in charge of these cultural shifts, but massively denigrating “nice guys”, chivalry, and men who hold doors open seems to have backfired. Even genuine nice guys don’t want to be called nice any more. But people call themselves incels all the time, I don’t know how you can ban a word like that.

CrazyGirlx420 · 2025-04-20T13:44:38+00:00

can just sit back for a moment, and instead of want to drag men on the left because we THINK we have the pill or the ''knowledge'' to help them (which WE DONT), just HEAR THEIR THOUGHTS, HEAR THEM in general on how THEY feel? and then start to think ''hmm, what left should do to help them?''??? is it so hard?????
we dont seem to realise that we are not objects. we are HUMANS, PEOPLE. there are no genders, genders are for bilogy. we are PEOPLE, HUMANS AND SOULS. every person needs DIFFERENT treatment, different approach and different care. also, i have to state, that nowadays we embrace OUR masculinity and its empowering and good. and we dont embrace mens masculinity REAL masculinity. and we confuse patriarchy/toxic maschulinity with REAL masculinity who doesnt have any relationship with all this. men trust me, embrace your masculinity. express yourselves how YOU want to express yourselves. be masculine and dont care of what systems and others think. men put men on the right. women put women on the left. men wanna drag men and women on the right. women want to drag men and women on the left. i as a human soul and being, i will always drag them on the middle. thank you very much, but i wont participate :3 people look at me, you all have to hear this. there is no left and right. there is only humanity be who YOU want to be and you will be completely happy, trust me.

CluelessThinker · 2025-04-19T15:34:44+00:00

Alright, I understand the incel part because incel literally means involuntary celibate, and there are many people who identify with that and had negative experiences with women.

But the term niceguy is different.

A "niceguy" is a man who isn't nice whatsoever. He starts out kind, maybe spews out horrific misogynistic opinions, or gets sexual when a woman said she didn't want anything like that, and when the woman calls him out they start shaming the woman or insulting.

They believe they are a nice person, but they aren't. They often say, "Nice guys finish last," or "girls never choose nice guys." When they are only "nice" to try and sleep with a woman.

And yes, nicegirls exist, too. There's a whole subreddit for it, too. I believe the original term is fine. There may be some people who misuse the term, though, like all terms on the internet.

The nice =/= good video explains that being kind only to be in a relationship, then becoming cruel and bigoted if they say no, isn't kindness at all. You have to respect other people's choice of not wanting to be in a relationship with you and move on.

NameNearby2887 · 2025-04-22T14:50:17+00:00

I dont think we shouldn't use them, but we should use properly for the right person. I know that every radical feminist who thinks that every incel hates women, and cause of that they are not coming from an empathetic place when talking to an actual incel. I think the problem itself is making incel an insult when its literally a personality type.However i completely disagree on the nice guy, that shit exists in both men and women and unfortunately very popular

RevacholAndChill · 2025-04-29T22:36:23+00:00

There's nothing wrong with being "involuntarily celibate" in the most literal sense. We all get rejected. Some of us take longer to bloom. I don't think we should write off people just because they can't get laid. And not everyone who can't get laid is an anti-feminist or fascist. Nobody is bad for being involuntarily celibate alone. No one is even bad for merely being lonely or sad.

There is something very wrong with being an "incel" in the more figurative sense, referring to a particular ideology of anti-feminism that is rooted in pseudoscience and culty manosphere jargon like "longhouse" or "red pill" or "80-20 rule" that looks upon women with resentment and entitlement, and understands relationships as notches on a bedpost. There's something very wrong with looking at women as conquests or judging your own self-worth based on the number of people you've had sex with.

TheBlakeOfUs · 2025-04-19T07:00:09+00:00

Incel is an ideology though.

They have language that is permeating common parlance and the incel ideology looks to move the Overton Window to the right.

The idea that incels are just people who can’t get laid is incorrect it’s a real thing and it’s dangerous.

Fragrant-Resist4230 · 2025-04-20T08:22:21+00:00

because incels and nice guys have tendendency to hurt and kill women.

Lylix_Cares · 2025-04-20T00:37:54+00:00

Basically "Telling someone what they are in a degrading form is counter productive if you want to have people improve or get better, this goes for everyone" (-seeing everyone as a subconscious organism trying to get an idea across helped me get this summary.)

Yes, but not everyone is going to stop insults have been missused and used correctly since the dawn of time u can't stop free speech. Perhaps some of these people who are labled such things will take it and it'll help them confront their issues and bring about the truth that made others interpret their behaviors as 'incelic' and 'nice/girl/guy' but treating them like victims can't support them that's enabling --don't get me wrong people can be victimized but no one is a victim endless they trully are in this context a nice/girl/guy stereotype that MEANS someone who can't see themselves as not a victim of everything.

So of course for the real ones out there being called an incel etc is going to fuel them to stay in a spot they're vulnerable to such lables.

Here's a recap on the a easy absorb definition you cab modify in your own mind if u need to:

Incel:

An individual who'd be very triggered by confrontation that no one likes their behaviors ... They can't get laid÷involuntarily celibate and at it's core it's a joke and being triggered at it affirms they attach their value to external validation and that's why they're so triggered at being called an incel in the first place. It's very crafty

Nice/guy/girl

Someone who appears to masquerade as nice but it's only being polite once they've unraveled to show their core values as cruel and narcissistic. Best example: gets completely politely rejected by their tinder date and then attacks them with hate speech some of them are literally monsters, your logic flops when you try to excuse this.

(I read almost all the comments)

I'm not taking away what called you to make this post, I'm addressing what also needs to be said so as long as you can respect that I'll respect you too.

Edit: oof nvm alot of this is just incel downvotes reddit is crawling

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