what should we do for Incels?

Suddenly_Sisyphus42 · 2022-10-25T00:09:39+00:00

I think you already said it yourself. Listening to them, being kind, and treating them like human beings instead of subhuman terrorists-in-waiting is a good first step. You know, try to follow the golden rule and all that shit?

TisIChenoir · 2022-10-25T05:43:34+00:00

I find that the thing I struggled the most with (and probably still would struggle with were I single tomorrow) is expressing desire to someone I'm not yet intimate with.

I can say to my wife "I want to fuck you over the kitchen counter right now" without a problem, but suggesting to a girl "I like you and would like to have sex with you" is a fence I can't seem to even imagine jumping over. That's a skill I'm sorely lacking, mostly because deep inside of me I'm convinced no woman would really being desired by me.

So that's a skill we should teach them.

FastestSinner · 2022-10-25T22:57:41+00:00

First, stop the hatred against them. Right now first and foremost incels are a hated minority - they are held to higher standards of morality, accused of imaginary crimes, deplatformed, hunted by law enforcement and alternatively either erased or paraded by the media. They are seen as a different "tribe" and hated as such. Remove that tribalistic element and a lot of the incel-related problems will be resolved. Then, when the toxic cultural narrative is removed, there can be talk about resolving the core issue of incelhood.

BloomingBrains · 2022-10-26T06:45:30+00:00

I think the best thing we can do is deconstruct WHY people shun incels and then counter it. For example: debunking the idea that virgin men are angry and therefore more likely to abuse women. Push back against "nice guy" ism whenever it comes up. When the topic of dating comes up, point out that practicing hypergamy isn't egalitarian. Warren Farrell also makes a great suggestion in the myth of male power. Encourage girls at a young age to see value in the stage 2 man, the same way we teach boys not to only value the prettiest girls. Point out all the harm caused by society worshipping the ideal of stage 1 men the same way we point out the harm caused by objectifying women.

BlockBadger · 2022-10-25T00:17:51+00:00

Be the safe space they never had.

RockmanXX · 2022-10-25T19:48:52+00:00

I think a better question to start with is, "What can we do for Men?" the issues that affects Incels affects ALL men in some capacity. For Ex: A Man is likely to be suspected of being a "danger" simply for being near children or women. The overall culture is toxic for single men in general.

Is there any way we could possibly make it so other people will actually listen and stop dehumanising Incels and maybe make a real change and give them compassion and help/support?

We have to "work our way up" to the more serious male issues like Incels/Male Isolation. As of right now, we're at the point where even suggesting that men suffer from unique Gender issues is considered "Controversial" and "Misogynistic".

BigAmbassador6977 · 2022-10-27T13:23:36+00:00

We could probably start with having the word be more than a synonym for misogynist. It basically got bundled with other insults such as "virgin" (kind of an ironic insult since it just proves their point but yeah). It's gotten so weird that people think you can be an incel and have a girlfriend. In that case, goddamn, some of the most sexually successful people in the world are the biggest incels on the planet.

somethingneet · 2022-10-28T23:47:06+00:00

Well you can start by pushing back against any man who says something a little spicy being called an incel.

ThunderClap448 · 2022-10-26T05:36:18+00:00

Telling people they don't know how to behave, then telling them to go outside and join groups to learn to behave, then shunning people who don't know how to behave when they join is just the standard now.

I feel bad for them, but the change does indeed need to begin with them. Nothing else to do tbh

debatelord_1 · 2022-10-25T08:41:39+00:00

I don't think there is a solution. I think western societies will slowly follow the trends of Japan and South Korea towards less and less relationships/sex etc.

Instead there will be a growing number of services to cater to the arising needs, both virtual (porn, OF, cam stuff) and in person (rental girlfriends, escorts, professional cuddlers).

whhhhaaatdaf · 2022-10-26T14:34:56+00:00

How to stop incels, by ending capitalism culture?

I think one interesting thing here is how the “other people” are usually the “sheep” that need to be helped, it is “they” who keep “voting against their own interests” when perhaps what is important here is to truly recognize our complicity into socioeconomic systems of privilege worship. Impotence is something most of us have and will feel throughout our lives in one way or another. Impotence is also genderless.

Regardless, we owe it to humanity to truly create a sense of community but we free love hippy communities don’t really exist anymore lol. Perhaps someday we can learn to Stop creating rituals which manifests a society that reinforces the worship of privilege by constantly turning every aspect of sociality into a capitalist cost benefit analysis of privilege and emotional labor… but until then, we for some reason need to hide behind masks of social media sake do goodery aka creating a virtue out of commodification itself.

CoffeeBoom · 2022-10-28T10:29:41+00:00

A guy caught in a downward spiral isn't likely to find help through internet. The best thing would be for someone to actually step-in in his life, be present and guide him. Get him a foot through the door of active life.

Of course this mean an amount of sacrifice on part of the "mentor" with possibly no pay-off. But that's the actual best thing you could do.

Stabby_Feminist · 2022-10-25T02:37:46+00:00

legalize prostitution

Krausewitz · 2022-10-26T04:15:50+00:00

The vast majority of males (90%?) spend significant periods of their life as “incels”. We don’t need to do anything for “them”, because they are us.

Nothing we can do, because human mating patterns seem relatively hard coded (and are in line with patterns in other great apes). Just tell men to take responsibility for themselves and don’t give up. Not much more to it, sadly.

Title	what should we do for Incels?
Author	boomboxspence
Upvotes	51
Comments	56
Date	October 24, 2022 10:24 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/yc7n8p/what_should_we_do_for_incels/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/what-should-we-do-for-incels.1136652 https://theredarchive.com/post/1136652

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