Guy posts in /r/confession about being raped. Half the thread: "that wasn't rape", "he wasn't raped"

Ransom_Stoddard · 2015-07-01T12:33:37+00:00

If it was a woman, feminists would say she was raped.

Warphead · 2015-07-01T16:05:05+00:00

"I want to leave but I can't, I mean who would be able to"

Someone who is really concerned about being raped, that's who.

The thing is, you can't both be at the mercy of your own desires and at the mercy of rapists. Playing the whole "I'm a man I can't control myself" negates your ability to say you were raped.

only1r1 · 2015-07-01T14:22:07+00:00

Post the same story again just with the genders reversed and see the reaction. Just wait a month or so.

The03k · 2015-07-02T04:29:43+00:00

I'm pretty iffy about some of the stuff there. Personally, I don't think being pressured to have sex is rape. In certain scenarios, at least. Let's say this guy and girl are dating, the guy wants sex, so he asks the girl. She says no. He then starts to beg and beg, "pressuring" her to have sex. She finally says yes, they have sex.

To me, that is not rape. That's a response to some of the comments, not the actual story.

The story is kind of weird too. He says he wants to leave, but can't. He doesn't exactly address why he can't, and he doesn't say that he verbalizes that he wants to leave to the women. As the girls are making out with him, he still has yet to say that he verbally said no or was against it. Hell, even in that part of the story, he doesn't say he was against it to us, the readers. He then takes some cocaine. Here's where it gets in to the very controversial topic. Sex with a drunk person is rape, because they cannot legally consent. Same with cocaine, right?

Here's what I believe. A women and a man are at a bar. The man asks this girl if she wants a drink, she says yes, and he pays for it. The man does not drink, but before the women is even slightly drunk, they start flirting with each other. Obviously in to each other, basically. The women then gets drunk, and wants to have sex with this man. They then have sex. Legally, that is rape. But is it right? Well, sorry, that's not what I'm asking. What I mean to ask, is if it is rape, if the women feels raped afterward, should she be held accountable for her own actions (Getting drunk)? People in the comments seem to be completely excluding that, making him not responsible for any of his own actions.

Now, let's also look at how he describes taking the cocaine. "I take some, because why not" to me, that does not sound like "I wasn't enjoying that, I wanted to get out. I was forced or persuaded to take this cocaine." but rather "I was having a fun time, took some coke because why the fuck not?" which really doesn't play well with the overall message of "rape".

When the fat chick comes in, he doesn't want to fuck her. No question there. He then does so anyway because 1) Coke, and 2) Being pressured. The coke is the only thing I would say makes that rape. But only legally. I personally don't view it as rape.

So, that's my view on that.

Edit: Brain fart, just remembered the most important part. He says cocaine got involved, and he says he was at a bar where he met this women. Know what this means? It means the woman at the bar could have been drunk or drinking, the cocaine at the party could have been used by everyone. He doesn't explain that. So, if one cannot be at fault (Through law) for having sex with someone while drunk, and while using cocaine, which means that the person drunk or using cocaine was raped, why can these women be held responsible for their actions? That's assuming the women did take cocaine, I mean. Laws like that pretty iffy and only apply to certain scenarios, which is dumb. So, again, let's assume everyone took the cocaine, or rather, let's assume the fat women he had sex with took cocaine. That means she also wasn't able to consent. That means that they both raped each other. Kind of like two minors having sex, legally, they're both raping each other. Which is dumb. Seriously, we need a new word for when two people who are not, legally, able to consent.

Just some things to think about, I guess.

baskandpurr · 2015-07-01T12:01:36+00:00

He made a conscious decision at every step as far as I can tell. The turn of events was not what he predicted, he was deceived but he chose his responses. Not rape in my judgement.

AHandsomeNeckbeard · 2015-07-01T16:32:25+00:00

In the comments on the original thread, I had to go down about 8 top level comments to get to one that said it wasn't rape.

In this thread (the one here on /r/mensrights), the second level comment is saying this wasn't rape.

Trail_of_Jeers · 2015-07-01T20:55:47+00:00

Drugged, emotionally manipulated, said no but was continually pressured.

Sounds like rape.

Either we use SJWs definition of rape, and he was raped, or we use a normal definition of rape, and very few women are raped (as compared to those who cry rape.)

Which will it be SJWs?

blublanket94 · 2015-07-01T18:49:54+00:00

This isn't rape. He chose to consume the drugs, and he chose to fuck the fat chick. He wasn't forced into anything.

modern_rabbit · 2015-07-02T00:47:31+00:00

That's regret sex. Feminist reasoning says he was raped. Don't reason like a feminist.

KarYotypeStereotype · 2015-07-01T20:01:01+00:00

This wasn't rape, it was a series of bad but consensual choices. If it was a woman who behaved this way, the feminists would be out for blood and claiming that this was rape, but that doesn't mean they would be correct. Regardless of the gender of the victim, what happened is uncomfortable and shitty, but not criminal.

kragshot · 2015-07-02T04:26:50+00:00

The way I read it, he was coerced into having sex by way of alcohol and drugs. He was definitely in a position where his right of consent was compromised (again, via alcohol and drugs) and I think that it was safe to say that if he was in his right mind, he would not have had sex with that woman.

Elvick · 2015-07-02T12:00:30+00:00

I didn't know how to feel about this. I let it sit overnight even. I can get the logic in calling it some kind of sexual assault, but he ultimately agreed to most of what happened [from what it sounds like]. And for that reason I think he's to blame for it.

I don't know if I like the idea of coercion/pressure [not sure which is better applied here] being rape. I know it's bad, but you can continue to say no and if it still continues there is no grey area anymore. It's 100% rape and no one can argue otherwise. [well people will try with men, since "boner = consent" to some people but that's another issue]

I don't think we should support people making these types of calls by saying it's rape. People need to be told explicitly that if they end up coerced then they are only harming themselves. May sound harsh, but it's to protect people in the long run. The more grey area, the less of a believable victim you'll be.

If you don't want it, refuse. Period. Plus, I've just never been "for" the concept of peer pressure, for example. I get it, but I think it's still in your hands and that peer pressure is mostly just a way to avoid responsibility for your own choices.

DavidByron2 · 2015-07-01T21:50:10+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Twatbag · 2015-07-01T20:03:58+00:00

He wasn't raped. What was the point of this post?

Snowley · 2015-07-02T14:50:04+00:00

It's a really grey area to me. They coerced him into doing drugs and having sex with someone he didn't want to, that much is true. But at the same time, it doesn't sound like he ever made an attempt to leave, he chose to do the cocaine, and he chose to fuck the girl.

It's a fucked up situation, no doubt about it. But his post pretty much makes it seem like he was enjoying himself until the fat girl came out, and by that point he felt too invested to leave without getting off. They manipulated him into having sex with her, but they didn't put a gun to his head. The intoxication is the only reason I might consider this borderline rape, but if they were intoxicated too, it's hard to say. This was obviously preplanned, so that might qualify.

I should include that even in the gender bent version of the story my opinion stays the same. They played on the emotions of op and manipulated him, but they didn't actually force him.

Knowing that it was most likely preplanned, I feel comfortable saying that what they did was wrong, but reading ops perspective, it sounds like he had a bunch of opportunities to get out of there if he wanted to. This is all opinion though. Some people consider peer pressure to be constitute rape. This all reads like peer pressure, and like he chose to do drugs and have sex. That's close enough to consent for it not to be rape to me. But it wasn't a cool thing to do, either, and it's dangerously close to rape.

chaku89 · 2015-07-01T13:15:19+00:00

I miss Fph :( Hot chicks trying to deceive guys just so they can get their fat friends laid.

registereduser2 · 2015-07-01T12:20:54+00:00

And the other half were wrong. Where are you going with this?

Trail_of_Jeers · 2015-07-01T20:58:04+00:00

ITT: proof that men are outgroup positive and no one gives a shit about men.

Title	Guy posts in /r/confession about being raped. Half the thread: "that wasn't rape", "he wasn't raped"
Author	bobbage
Upvotes	289
Comments	101
Date	July 1, 2015 11:20 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/3bqpnf/guy_posts_in_rconfession_about_being_raped_half/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/guy-posts-in-rconfession-about-being-raped-half.976375 https://theredarchive.com/post/976375

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