Based on your personal experience, do cheaters tend to have many or few friends of the opposite sex?

Hate-Swallows · 2022-07-12T15:30:44+00:00

They usually have many opposite sex friends who they were intimate with in the past.

baresquad · 2022-07-12T15:35:22+00:00

There's no way to tell.

I know cheaters who have tons of friends, I know cheaters who have few friends, both of the opposite sex. Cheating is too dynamic to be black and white

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-07-12T15:40:37+00:00

There might be some correlation between extroversion and cheating, just because extroverts have so much more exposure to temptation, especially if drinking is involved. But it's by not means a hard and fast rule of any sort.

2022-07-12T16:10:59+00:00

Based on my experience, cheaters are just socially successful people which have no problems establishing friendships and getting people to like them.

They are just people who are good at attracting others and just decide to cheat on top.

2022-07-12T15:55:28+00:00

Many. That's how they find people to sleep with.

2022-07-12T18:43:49+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Mobrowncheeks · 2022-07-12T16:16:57+00:00

Everyone I know who cheats is usually also an objectifier, so they tend to only deal in intimate settings with people.

thetacobitch · 2022-07-12T18:31:06+00:00

They have ex’s or ex-fwb that they still keep in touch with and call their “friends”. In my experience

iamsojellyofu · 2022-07-12T17:05:12+00:00

I would say yes.

Ohmaygahh · 2022-07-12T17:09:41+00:00

Many. Often it's past sexual partners, but also they are a bit more prosocial, and know how to connect more, easily, faster with women.

Puzzleheaded-Lab-165 · 2022-07-12T17:54:12+00:00

She had a lot of male friends. But was upset if I talked with women.

gofigure62 · 2022-07-12T15:53:23+00:00

I've seen both.

Typically I just see all cheaters justifying their behavior lol.

I've been shocked by some friends that cheated. Never would have pegged them for cheaters, or the type to cheat.

People just do what they want at the end of the day. Lots of people feel entitled to getting what they want and keeping what they have.

sarkington · 2022-07-12T15:47:11+00:00

It all depends on the same things, regardless of transgression or gender

What is the friendship group based on? Values? Utility? Status?

Did they transgress inside or outside the group?

What is the status of the transgressor within the group ?

2022-07-12T17:47:41+00:00

I've seen both, I don't think it Matters. Cheaters are either super insecure and need validation or they are strong in traits of psychopathy/sociopathy/narcissistism.

shadowofdoubt13 · 2022-07-12T21:41:35+00:00

If they’re a good cheater, you’ll never know

toasterchild · 2022-07-12T17:26:46+00:00

Half of my partners have cheated which makes it pretty equal to statistics. I don't think friends mattered as much as boundaries. I could see red flags in hindsight to do with boundaries.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-07-12T22:27:01+00:00

You know it's mostly coworkers and exes that I see.

python834 · 2022-07-13T06:04:37+00:00

You cant correlate number of friends to cheaters.

You can only correlate their actions.

Cobra_x30 · 2022-07-12T17:01:39+00:00

There are different types of cheaters. The serial cheats... the women tend to be constantly surrounded by dudes. The men less so, but are either pretty good at attracting women or have super low standards. I know a trailer park cheat that frankly will sleep with women few other men would even consider. He once shagged a woman in her 80s and then got her to pay for his shit.

decoy88 · 2022-07-12T15:26:06+00:00

IME, Less or no opposite sex friends, because every woman that’s friendly with them they try to fuck.

DerekMorganBAUxx · 2022-07-12T15:36:46+00:00

I have cheated in all of my LTRs and I have lots of friends both men and women and they all know of my cheating ways. They just don’t care.

Whynotbebetter · 2022-07-12T19:08:52+00:00

No idea. I don't know who chested or not. I don't think a lot of people in my vicinity cheats, and if they do they doesn't tell me about it.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-07-12T14:58:21+00:00

The only patterns I've seen is high n and FOMO (couples where there is a disparity in sexual history)

AreOut · 2022-07-12T16:57:53+00:00

I have to disappoint you but noone has many friends regardless of sex. Now if a girl has a REAL male friend that IME means she is going to be less inclined to cheat. If a girl is often hanging out with other girls they will usually push each other to cheat on their guys just to not feel the worst in the group.

noafrochamplusamurai · 2022-07-12T17:42:35+00:00

There is no pattern to cheating, it's a personal flaw in the individual. Extroverts,introverts, and ambiverts all cheat. Party girl socialites,and SAHM in the ex-urbs, and rural hinterlands cheat. Any guy with game that talks to women regularly, will tell you. It's easier to pick up a married woman, than it is a single woman. The reason is different than you think it is.

Introverts guys will cheat, because someone other than their SO paid attention to them. Introverts live in a world of mental cosplay, observing from the sidelines. Give them a chance to play in the real world. It's like opening up the flood gates.

If you think I'm full of shit, a lifetime of observational, and personal experience has shown me otherwise. The other data point to consider, is the rise in romance movie/literature of the CNC, badboy, infidelity, torn between two lovers. Theme that's written for, and by women. It's the rush, and the fantasy that drives the infidelity. That rush is the common denominator of cheating.

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Puzzleheaded-Lab-165 · 2022-07-12T18:02:06+00:00

This is why you get paternity test directly after birth. No more trying to make your relationship work with any woman.

SmakeTalk · 2022-07-12T18:31:49+00:00

I don't personally know many cheaters, that I'm aware of, and most of my friends have (or have had) friends of the opposite sex. The only people I've known who did cheat seem to be capable of having friends of the opposite sex but not ones they're in any way attracted to.

I think it's much more about if someone's capable of controlling or inhibiting some sort of attraction to another person and less about having friends of the opposite sex.

For example, there are a lot of people in my life I'm attracted to but I know the difference between attraction and genuine interest, infatuation, and desire. I have no interest in just being someone I'm attracted to, there needs to be infinitely more to them and our potential, which will always feel more complete with a partner I'm already with.

Because of that, I will never cheat. I'd rather end a decent (but likely limited) relationship to explore something else than do it while I'm committed to someone.

KayRay1994 · 2022-07-13T03:30:12+00:00

From what i’ve seen (and this is purely out of personal experience/hearing others’ stories) - cheaters usually have more friends from the same gender - if you have real, genuine, honest and proper friendships with both genders you’ll have enough perspective to know that it hurts - though obviously this is just from my own observation, i have no backing other than anecdotes soooo

RandomAttackHelpMe · 2022-07-13T03:35:59+00:00

Yeah. Same both ways or like 50/50 or 60/40.

I used to know one guy who had female friends, I don't know how many he slept with, a few I can confirm, but he wasn't a cheater as much as like every time his long term gf who I will not even get into the laundry list of problems that were there right now, who were like on and off again and should have like ended it sooner. Seriously. I remember he was going around to all of us, friends, acquaintances etc, saying "What should I do?" Everyone like all told him, you need to break up with her. Even me who was far from mr.relationship expert, clearly saw the problems there.

Anyways, he more or less like yeah was friends with most of these girls but it was also just a little "hey I'll keep her for a side piece should shit go sideways with the main girl."

Title	Based on your personal experience, do cheaters tend to have many or few friends of the opposite sex?
Author	xa10945
Upvotes	20
Comments	76
Date	July 12, 2022 2:37 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/vxcr1j/based_on_your_personal_experience_do_cheaters/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/based-on-your-personal-experience-do-cheaters-tend.1123044 https://theredarchive.com/post/1123044

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