Discussion: Aromantics

gasparddelanuit · 2017-10-27T04:31:40+00:00

Just on the fly, I would distinguish two types of aromantics. Those who are clinically aromantic and those who are rationally aromantic. The former would be someone who does not have the hormonal response that typically occurs in sexual/romantic situations, while the latter would be someone who does have this response but understands rationally what is happening biologically and chooses not to submit to common romantic rationalizations about what is happening.

In both cases, it seems intuitive that there would be greater alignment with the RP, given that the RP is less prescriptive, more dispassionate and more rational than the BP when it comes to trying to understand reality. Those who are clinically aromantic may also find the cold analysis of the RP more recognisable than the heady romanticism of the BP.

haunting-you · 2017-10-27T09:48:02+00:00

it seems to be the opposite, to me... red pillers want to be aromantic, but struggle with it. i've seen more plausible accounts of no-strings hookups from the BPers here.

then again, i don't agree that being aromantic means you need to be a total emotionless machine, during sex or otherwise; it's simply lacking the desire for a romantic relationship.

Salty-Bastard · 2017-10-27T04:04:20+00:00

I thought aromatics were overpriced candles and essential oils. Sounds like your friend is afraid of emotional connection which inhibits his ability to bond through physical contact.

Merger-Arbitrage · 2017-10-27T04:04:46+00:00

Forget the pill crap. Based on CDC data you can break people up into promiscuity groups.

Let's assume that more promiscuous people are more like your friend, while less promiscuous people are more like you - the reasons for this being fairly obvious I think.

About 10-20% of women and 20-30% of men could be promiscuous based on how many times the median their partner counts are (usually those groups are 10+ partners) - and indeed for both men and women, they are a minority, especially for women.

You're arguably more normal than your friend in terms of what your sexual "style" is - and a better fit for the majority of women.

Butt-Factory · 2017-10-27T06:34:59+00:00

I know a dude like this, he has aspergers. The personal element of intimate relationships is too complex and overwhelming for him, so he sticks to casual arrangements. He explained to me that he "wants to want" a sustained romantic relationship, but he doesn't believe it's a realistic expectation.

I'm sure he's not involved in any "pills", but he's about as far from red as I could imagine.

decoy88 · 2017-10-27T08:46:22+00:00

Is your friend young? He sounds young. This is typically what guys say when they haven't fucked anyone they enjoy the non-sexual company with. Then they find a girl who's company they enjoy then it "OMG I'm in love!"

Afroaway002 · 2017-10-27T09:23:19+00:00

I don't think this has anything to do with pills. People just want different things out of life.

I don't fuck so I can't really say with any certainty where I sit between those extremes but I've always felt like sex could and should be something casual unrelated to emotional investment. Like, I don't really see the difference between having a coffee with someone you don't know to get to know them better and having some stranger over to fuck. I don't see why one is less casual than the other.

GroovyEFS · 2017-10-27T09:26:45+00:00

I'm like you man, I need at least something there, like some type of emotion first even if it's just very basic.

People are different in this area, and I've always said the term demisexual, though it's often made fun of, does describe a real thing. And this is the same deal, aromantic describes a real thing.

I think the point where people make fun of this stuff is when you slap those labels on and they become your identity, you know? Just don't let "aromantic" or "demisexual" become your identity and it's nothing worth even caring about.

But yes the actual underlying ideas themselves are real variations in human sexuality, of course.

sunkindonut149 · 2017-10-27T14:54:21+00:00

I think a lot of redpill guys are aro-spec or demiromantic, and tradcons are romantics who may also be like grey ace or demisexual. I think that's a big part of the divide between PUAs and tradcons/guys who moved alt right.

Electra_Cute · 2017-10-27T03:51:13+00:00

I have alexythmia, when I engage in sexual intercourse I do not know what I feel or if I am feeling anything emotionally about it at all. I do not think it is a pill orientation phenomenon, but more of an empathy one.

prodigy2throw · 2017-10-27T06:06:00+00:00

Aromantic isn’t a thing

GinSmokeLies · 2017-10-27T13:39:17+00:00

Like "demisexuality," "sapiosexuality," "queerplatonic" etc. etc., "aromantics" just sound to me like people who inexplicably need a super special label to describe a normal phenomenon.

I mean, at least with most aromantics I've come across (which is a lot because I'm active on the hellsite that is Tumblr), they described it as an inability to feel romantic attraction/connection. This guy doesn't even seem to take it that far; if I'm interpreting your OP correctly, it sounds like he just doesn't really want to attach romance to sex, and has the ability to turn off that switch in his mind? Which is different from being aromantic, I think.

Mostly I think it's all a bunch of hogwash. I miss when sexual orientation was just "Do you fuck dudes or ladies or both?" Now it's like every little preference a person has needs some orientation label attached to it. Bizarre.

theiamsamurai · 2017-10-27T14:22:07+00:00

Is redpill more aligned with aromantics? Is blue pill more aligned with romantics, or at least, with people who need a connection? Do you relate to one of these extremes more than the other? Do you think that ties in with your pill orientation?

No. A lot of RPers are former betas who were heart broken. Now, they're focused more on sex. I believe in neuroplasticity, I think you can change your preference from relationships to sex, and vice versa.

wtknight · 2017-10-27T14:52:25+00:00

Yes, I think Red Pill men tend to not be romantic, as it implies emotional attachment, and core Red Pill belief seems to be that women are not loyal and emotionally attached themselves and that they will branch swing as soon as you're unable to hold frame. Many Red Pillers may have been naturally romantic but have learned to suppress it by "swallowing the pill."

Blue Pillers believe whether somebody is trustworthy has to do with their individual character rather than their gender, so they are more likely to develop emotional relationships and attachments with people who they see as worthy of these relationships, and thus develop romantic bonds.

Somebody who is clinically aromantic though may like and trust women just fine, though, but just not feel emotional attachment to them. I think that this is an entirely different thing.

notworthmuch20xx · 2017-10-27T03:49:46+00:00

So I was having a conversation with a friend, and he explained to me that he’s “aromantic.” He said that this means, for him, sex is purely mechanical. He doesn’t like to have feels or emotions involved really at all. He doesn’t like romance. To him, it’s just grinding meat

Why would a supposed lack of romance result in a lack of interest in sex?

Dumb tumblr termns

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newName543456 · 2017-10-27T06:43:42+00:00

Is redpill more aligned with aromantics?

"Romantics" can exist, but they shouldn't be a driving force behind your actions, maybe a bonus if you like them, irrelevant if you don't.

tempuserthrowaway5 · 2017-10-27T10:07:11+00:00

People have all sorts of orientations. Its surprising when we learn how we see the world isn't how everybody else does.

The red-pill seems to be geared specifically toward people who are poly-sexual, male, angry and straight.

The rest of us would by default (I'm guessing) fit into blue.

I know there are red pill women but I can't wrap my mind around it.

Title	Discussion: Aromantics
Author	WhiskersNT
Upvotes	2
Comments	81
Date	October 27, 2017 3:48 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/790uex/discussion_aromantics/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/discussion-aromantics.265172 https://theredarchive.com/post/265172

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