For both pills: thoughts on this article?

wtknight · 2015-07-08T17:34:54+00:00

The guy has a right to reject her but there was no reason to send such a long and annoyingly detailed letter. Just tell her "sorry, not interested" and move on.

buartha · 2015-07-08T16:43:37+00:00

His sentiment was fine, it's unfair to expect someone to keep dating someone they're not physically attracted to.

Writing an essay about just how utterly unfuckable she is when 'sorry, you're not my type' would have sufficed was either completely douchey or utterly tone-deaf.

I'm still not entirely sure this is real though. I mean, come on, look at this:

There are certain triggers that fire my imagination into life and your wit and intelligence are the beginning of that process which would inevitably end up in the bedroom. With just one result....

I'm a man... With all the red hot lusts of a man and all the failings of a man

I refuse to believe that anyone could type something that cringeworthy sincerely without their brain pouring out of their ears in a desperate attempt to escape the shame.

leftajar · 2015-07-08T16:56:43+00:00

I have my doubts that this is even real, but if it is, he's pretty douchey. Nothing wrong with having preferences and being honest, but there's no need to write a fucking essay like this.

Sounds to me like she dodged a bullet, though. They went on one date and he's talking about how he "adores" her and would like to marry her? Yikes.

DaThrowaway808 · 2015-07-08T17:55:25+00:00

I find it amusing that she's reading tinder messages while on a date with another guy.

[deleted] · 2015-07-08T22:01:31+00:00

The guy could have gotten away with "I didn't feel the chemistry, thanks anyway". He spoke too much, and hung himself with his words. He's a dunce.

She's an attention whore who couldn't just let this one slide, she had to not only dismiss what he said, she wanted attention and validation from the world about it. She's annoying.

ThorLives · 2015-07-08T17:52:13+00:00

On one hand, I think people will often fail over and over in their romantic life with nobody willing to be honest about their flaws. It's a bitter pill to swallow, though - to have someone be honest about their flaws, which might enable them to understand what's going on and why they're failing. I'm sure I had plenty of flaws I couldn't see in my 20s, and nobody would tell me why I did so badly with women. You can see the obvious problems with a dating culture that is ruthless about what men/women should be, while at the same time being dishonest with them about their flaws.

On the other hand, who knows how people will react, whether it's welcome or useful. Sometimes I think women in particular just want a fake story about why he's not into her (and in return, they give men a fake story about why she's not into him). I'm sure we've all gotten the "it's not you it's me" speech - and been angry at the fact that things fell apart and she didn't have the decency to be honest about why, so now you have to grope in the dark for a real explanation about what went wrong. (Hm, do you ever wonder why the RedPill is even a thing?)

Of course, this story is getting press coverage because it fits a standard feminist narrative about body image and "body shaming" (as abused as that term is), and how men make women feel bad about themselves. It's also a story telling men how they should be attracted to women (you should fall in love her personality and mind, always believe that her body is beautiful, regardless of what her body looks like). It's a narrative that's supposed to make every woman feel great about herself, but it's an unrealistic burden to put on men.

In the end, what we'll all end up with a bunch of fake, polite, feel-good explanations about why he/she isn't into her/him, and people will continue to fail in their romantic lives. This situation will generally be easier for women, since women generally have the upper hand in dating and sex to begin with (judging by how shockingly well a lot of my less-attractive female friends do in the dating game).

ppdthrowawai · 2015-07-08T16:43:07+00:00

Maybe he was trying to sound genuine by voicing out his opinions but it comes out wrong as a high effort, long winded way of saying, "sorry you're too fat."

The classy thing to do which would have been much less troublesome would be to simply say, "Sorry, I enjoyed our time together but the chemistry is not there." or say nothing at all.

RobotPartsCorp · 2015-07-08T17:20:40+00:00

I think it is great that he knows what he wants and is going for it and won't settle. I think however, it was not necessary and also rude to give her specific details about what exactly he found unattractive about her.

I have let dudes down nicely for various reasons, I felt one guy was rather dim, another guy kept flexing his pectoral muscles and talking about all his properties during a date, another guy I just was not in any way attracted to his face, another guy his body.

I would just say "I don't see this going further" or "I am just not into you" or "I am just not interested" or even "I don't feel a connection." All those are true and valid and providing further information especially not when asked for specifics is rather cruel for the sake of being cruel. At that point it is less about your feelings and attractions and more about just putting another person down.

Also, it is just narcissistic way to think. Another woman might LOVE the pectoral muscle flexing, just because it's not my thing. Same with what I find attractive and not attractive for a guys face or body. Unless it is body odor or something medical where he might need to know about...I just don't see the point on making a person feel like shit.

cherryblue12 · 2015-07-08T17:38:49+00:00

Why the fuck did this guy feel the need to write a manuscript about how physically unappealing he found her, when a simple "hey! had a great time last night, but I just didn't feel much of a romantic connection. Wish you all the best!" would have done fine?

This guy is a complete tool. I love this part of the girl's response:

You don't have to fancy me. We all have a good friend who we look at ruefully and think “you're lovely, but you just don't tickle my pickle”. We wish we were attracted to them, but our bodies and our brains don't work like that. And that's fine. What isn't fine is the fact that, after a few hours in my company, you took the time to write this utterly uncalled-for message. It's nothing short of sadistic. Your tone is saccharine and condescending, but the forensic detail in which you express your disgust at my body is truly grotesque.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2015-07-08T17:34:52+00:00

What a crock of bullshit. Fake

tomatostew · 2015-07-08T19:27:43+00:00

I think he's an asshole and she's a champ! Good for her for not letting that make her feel bad. She shouldn't let stupid guys like that take her power over her own self esteem. I'm glad she shared it because it's very relatable (as an average woman) to fear never being good enough as a result of your physical features.

[deleted] · 2015-07-08T21:23:31+00:00

What do i think after reading that? I think, wow the male sex drive is really, really fragile.

If a guy ticked every box, as she did for him, but there was one negative thing about him (especially one that he could change if he had more confidence in himself) I'd be in like Flynn.

SirNemesis · 2015-07-08T21:57:03+00:00

The guy seems to have fallen big time for her and been ashamed about not being able to get it up for an overweight bosy. He didn't realize how casually she took the date and that he didn't need to reply but could just ghost out. His message was a jerky message but made with the best of intentions ( he saw it as his own failing not hers). She read too much offense into his message and went for public shamijg which he didn't deserve. All around bad communication.

Also, I don't know what he was seeing when he said she is pretty. I strongly prefer thin girls but would still find her doable at her weight if it weren't for her ugly face and hairstyle.

Finally, he definitely should tell her 13 year old daughter to watch her weight cause those Japanese kids will be mercilews if she gets fat.

Amethhyst · 2015-07-08T17:41:41+00:00

I don't have a problem with what he said, which was totally fair enough. But the long-winded explanation was unnecessary and I too got the impression that its intent was to 'wound' and embarrass. Why not just a polite, adult 'we had a nice date, but I'm just not interested. So long'?

thereddespair · 2015-07-08T18:18:38+00:00

i just think he dragged it too long needlessly, trying too hard to try to save some face or just too defensive that its odd? honesty is ok, but to go to such lengths and turn it into a monologue its ridiculous.

[deleted] · 2015-07-08T23:07:16+00:00

I didn't find the letter that bad but I'm not a larger woman who posts a lot of skinny angle shots on my profiles so...

I tried internet dating a couple of times, and let me say that men will engage in just as much trickery to artificially enhance their perceived SMV as women will with makeup when it's all about camera angles and profiles. Ultimately, it wasn't the best mate selection strategy for me.

SaintOfPirates · 2015-07-09T01:50:00+00:00

The scenario is believable, the writing is not.

Honestly if this guy felt the need to hammer out paragraph after paragraph repeatedly apologizing to minimize the impact for not being attracted to someone physically and listing over and over again his own "faults" and "failings", I'd believe there was something else significantly more sinister going on.

And how is this "fatshaming" anyway? Nowhere in "his letter" does he mention her weight/shape as a negative, simply that he isn't attracted to her.

Seriously; too much butthurt, unwarrented self importance and hot-button issue pushing to be real.

[deleted] · 2015-07-09T07:40:35+00:00

I think he really tried to reject her in a nice and friendly way and she got all narcissistic and dramatic about it.

Yes, I consider the letter nice and friendly because he really goes deep into analyzing his feelings and I think that is open, honest and was put in a kind tone.

But I generally like long essays and hate succintness anyway, so I may be biased here. I am the kind of guy who when advertising a job, I would prefer if people wrote whole books as resumes :)

GaiusScaevolus · 2015-07-09T14:24:31+00:00

The long letter was fedora-y, but honest. Her response was juvenile.

Also, you can tell how 'little' she cared by the fact that she whipped out her dating app to read his message while on a date.

mc0079 · 2015-07-09T16:54:07+00:00

First, is she considered fat?

Secondly, yeah why write a stupid essay. No problem not being attracted to someone, but just say "hey not going to work".

[deleted] · 2015-07-08T18:17:24+00:00

What are your thoughts on this?

Sounds gake and fay.

That aside, this line stood out:

Pretty gobsmacking, and it left Michelle in floods of tears. So, a few days later, Michelle responded in the best way possible in an open letter on her blog

Yeah, clearly that's the best way of handling private matters. He really shouldn't have messaged her in the first place, he should have rented a "MICHELLE, you're too fat to give me a boner!" billboard or something.

What truly concerns me, the real reason I'm responding so publicly, is the fact that you have a 13 year old daughter.

Sometimes my head is full of fuck.

max_peenor · 2015-07-08T17:07:12+00:00

I was on another date when I received your message.

Branch already swung. Next. Win-win for both.

Anyway, he's a passive aggressive little cunt. Assuming this is all true, he wants something else, because if it was all just about sex he would have just moved on...

Reginleifer · 2015-07-08T17:33:13+00:00

Honestly I hear about these articles in women's mags on a regular basis.

Girls try to impress some type A douche, douche rejects her, he writes a long paper cause he's a douche, women reports him to cosmo or some other womyn circle jerk. Man looks like douche.

Lesson? Don't write long douche text, instead be a douche in the privacy of conversation, preferably in a public place.

TheSonofLiberty · 2015-07-08T19:57:19+00:00

Why does TBP automatically assume red pill field reports are fake, but accept posts like these at face value?

lbspredh · 2015-07-08T19:29:20+00:00

I'd bang her for sure. flab isn't exactly enticing but I mean more to hold onto right?

Anyway I don't know what she expects with tinder it's a fucking meat market, and as a man who has had my own weight issues I really don't know why you would cry or even react just because some fucker calls you fat

[deleted] · 2015-07-08T17:54:42+00:00

This article just looks like an excuse for the woman to be an attention whore.

And yeah that essay looks bullshit. But let it be a lesson to never dump anyone on Adderall I guess.

Title	For both pills: thoughts on this article?
Author	belletaco
Upvotes	4
Comments	43
Date	July 8, 2015 4:30 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3ckev0/for_both_pills_thoughts_on_this_article/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/for-both-pills-thoughts-on-this-article.281169 https://theredarchive.com/post/281169

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