How does a woman's social media use affect your attraction to her?

sine120 · 2023-10-18T18:14:48+00:00

Any attention seeking behavior is a huge turn off for me. I'm a pretty private person, I don't want to be an accessory to a post or whatever, or have my moments interrupted by pictures to be shared.

I don't mind if you're in spaces for your hobbies or whatever, I do the same thing on reddit.
But if you're posting pictures of yourself for validation or just addicted to sharing everything, I'm not interested.

Opening_Tell9388 · 2023-10-18T18:12:56+00:00

I'm not on social media, ion give a fuck about social media. As long as you not posting our current location in the city idgaf.

thisreallyisnotok · 2023-10-18T19:32:56+00:00

If you use social media to network with your friends then great. If you have a business you need to promote them great. If you have a hobby and you use social media to connect with others who share your hobby, then great.

If you just post so you can get approval from strangers and have lots of followers you don’t know personally and you’re not really using social media for financial reasons then it’s a pretty big turn off.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2023-10-18T18:19:47+00:00

it seems there's a stark difference between the person who occasionally checks social media to keep up with friends, track events, participate in fan pages, etc, and the chronically self-obsessed daily selfie poster.

Yep. The first thing is something i don't care about,the second makes me cringe

LogicalLetterhead272 · 2023-10-18T19:36:41+00:00

It highly depends on how she uses it. If she's using social media often to just talk to friends or participate in interests she cares about (like a subreddit regarding her hobbies) then it's totally fine. If she's constantly posting about herself and/or trying to get likes and followers, that's a huge red flag IMO.

Personally I'm on social media somewhat often but I'm always discussing things, posting funny stuff, etc. I never make posts about myself or try to gain attention. I'd want a partner who is the same.

NeonGladiator2 · 2023-10-18T19:34:32+00:00

There's 4 kind of social media users in women that I've noticed.

Attention whores - super red flag IMO, not always because if it's fitness related it's fine, but obvious sexy photos or deliberate showing off says a lot about her personality
Constructive users - they post a lot, but it's because they have a niche. A girl I dated was into baking, super active but posting 90% was pastries and bread.
Lurkers - I get those, they go on just to see what's up or follow things they're interested in. Perfectly fine and actually attractive.
Stalky Lurkers - The ones who follow and keep up with what everyone is doing, but they never share, yet they read everyone's stories etc. A bit of a red flag for me.

MrQuiteLimited9 · 2023-10-18T18:33:54+00:00

They pretty much don’t exist anymore, but a girl who isn’t completely addicted to social media is the greenest flag ever, at least imo

PrecisionHat · 2023-10-19T00:09:53+00:00

I hope all influencers and constant online attention seekers are crushed by asteroids. Reddit at least is anonymous.

meangingersnap · 2023-10-19T00:34:44+00:00

Extended question: how about if she uses Reddit 💀

YetAnotherCommenter · 2023-10-19T05:48:37+00:00

Social media addiction disgusts me, in both men and women (I'm bisexual).

I'm exempting anonymous online forums from this. It is one thing to engage anonymously with ideas. It is another thing entirely to have a sense of self so weak and dependent on others that you are enslaved to being validated and loved by others 24/7 and won't even voluntarily be by yourself.

Its one thing to use social media for a job. But if you have essentially no private life and you live on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/etc I think there is something fundamentally wrong and broken about you.

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ratboi34 · 2023-10-18T18:26:26+00:00

When I was dating, I always saw a public IG as a yellow flag. If she posts many selfies and stupid quotes and shit that's a red flag. Also, the snap score can't be high.

wtknight · 2023-10-18T18:29:48+00:00

If she were posting and getting flirting comments from men regularly, I don’t think I’d like that, although I wouldn’t actually blame her unless she flirted back. I’ve never had to deal with that, though.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-10-18T18:37:06+00:00

A woman without social media is the biggest green flag for me ever. No sexy pictures online to attract male attention, no ego boosting, no addiction to the phone. It is almost any real man's dream t9 get a girl with no social media addiction.

Khanluka · 2023-10-18T18:58:14+00:00

Close value is the highest priority when comes to from a long relationship.

Anyone that has a big social media presence doesn't share the same values as i do.

So we are incompatible.

Now ofcourse someone can have a instagram or facebook account. It just depens how much you use it and how you use it. A family and friends is fine.

NotReallyTired_ · 2023-10-18T19:29:20+00:00

The less social media usage the better, I’m a very private man who prefer a quiet life. People who are very active on social media tends to be obsessed with attention and are constant thrill/spontaneous seekers.

I don’t my relationship to be an accessory or content for anyone to know everything about.

gntlbastard · 2023-10-18T20:00:55+00:00

Any chick that needs the validation of strangers to get through the day is someone I can't take seriously for anything.

SlowEffective8146 · 2023-10-18T20:07:57+00:00

Of course. If she's constantly on social media, then she will be just stewing in toxicity and I don't want to deal with her.

The less social media she uses, the better.

DesertShifter · 2023-10-18T20:53:31+00:00

Use doesn't really affect attraction because its expected that most everyone will have a social media page or two or three. The only time social media use affects attraction is when she's posting hoe content/thirst traps which garners a full rejection from me immediately, or if she has zero social media in which case attraction rises slightly. It's not really attraction though, its more "she's got an edge over other women for a long term deal"

Some-Parsnip-1551 · 2023-10-18T22:19:22+00:00

If she has Instagram on public with 1000s followers with attention seeking photos then you know she is for the streets. Any woman taking ass shots for the world to see is not worthy of a high value man.

Spyro7x3 · 2023-10-18T23:06:47+00:00

Covering up and not being obsessed with social media are ways any woman can bump their attractiveness by 2 points. A 10 that does those things will be a literal 12

Earth-lover93 · 2023-10-18T23:13:26+00:00

If it’s full of toxic feminists crap she’s a zero and feel no sympathy for the simp she’s gunna screw over

ta06012022 · 2023-10-18T23:26:23+00:00

I couldn’t care less, as long as it’s not her full time job. I’m not a big social media user, but don’t care if she is. Almost every woman I’ve dated has at least a moderate instagram following (2-3k+) and most post on a fairly regular basis (not daily, maybe weekly). I feel like this is pretty much standard for any attractive woman in her early 20s. I don’t really think anything of it.

On the other hand, I briefly dated a girl with about 1.3 million instagram followers who was an influencer for a living. Honestly it felt weird to me as someone with a real job in finance. Posting on instagram for a living and doing nothing else was sort of a turnoff for me. We went on a few dates, hooked up a few times, and called it quits. We lived very different lives.

There was another girl with a few hundred thousand TikTok followers, but she also had a real job like a normal person. I was ok with that. She had no ambitions of being a stay at home influencer.

The_Gifted_Arsonist · 2023-10-18T23:39:34+00:00

My ex-girlfriend had a large presence on social media. It got to the point that I didn't feel like she wanted to date ME, she just wanted to post me on social media as if I was an accessory, not a person. In a nutshell, large social media presence is a turn off for me.

DisplacedBitzer · 2023-10-18T23:42:44+00:00

I used to be cool with it… now nothing disgusts me more.

My ex was very social media obsessed, tik tok, Instagram, etc. She went on a family vacation, said she was turning her phone off. Well, she pulled shit that made me concerned before she left, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I tried addressing it in a call, nope, very dismissive. Tried writing it out, how she was being dismissive in a nice way, since communication is important. This girl made sure I was serious about her, and we previously texted every day even when she was extremely busy. Didn’t even send, but a few days later when I check social media, guess who has been active for hours every day? It devolved from there, her spending hours on social media, ignoring me, apparently the only one actually committed to trying to make things work. Told her to stop treating me like trash, and she ghosted me saying she’d respond later for 5 weeks. Every fucking day on social media though. Later, I dropped all her shit at her place, I had enough.

And Yknow what this girl who abandoned the relationship, who told me she had trust issues from some guy doing that to her said? “Things ended naturally” Didn’t even have the decency to break up face to face, as if I was some sort of controlling monster… Over 2 fucking years I knew that girl, and she chose social media over a relationship in which she made sure I was committed(eventually marry). I’m proud of how well I treated that girl… compliments, gifts, flowers, poems, attentiveness etc. I practically took her college classes for her with how much I helped. I did every single thing right and never stopped, and she chose social media.

So yea, when a girl posts ‘look at me I’m so pretty’ shit, posts photos where the intent is to get validation, and spends hours on social media, it makes me disgusted. My ex never even posted revealing shit, just stuff she thought she looked pretty in. She always said she was just ‘busy’, but looking back, how many fucking hours a day did she scroll Instagram, TikTok? Idk… social media just reminds me of that pitiful excuse of an adult. I guess I learned women obsessed with social media are just not relationship material, even if they present themselves as ‘traditional’.

Lina-Inverse · 2023-10-19T00:13:31+00:00

If it is something focussed on hobbies then that's fine. Of course by hobbies I mean actual hobbies.

"Travelling" or "Look at me in this new outfit", doesn't count a hobby. "Gym" is also not a hobby especially when it is just a variation of "look at me in this outfit... while I do squats in front of a camera"

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2023-10-19T00:47:37+00:00

If she's an influencer of any type or her insta has more shots of her in a bikini or bra and panties that's a hard pass from me.. attention seeking behavior does not stop it's an addiction

princedune · 2023-10-19T01:14:43+00:00

The less social media the better

spacemonke537 · 2023-10-19T02:08:55+00:00

Sexual attraction: Doesn't affect me at all.

Romantic attraction: It does repulse me if their posts are just pictures of themselves with no context. I just find it self-centered and weird. What bothers me is that it drastically reduces my dating pool.

kvakerok · 2023-10-19T03:06:25+00:00

Thirst traps = permablock.

dennekie · 2023-10-19T03:14:47+00:00

i feel like dudes just Think that girls who spend time on social media and like to post a lot do it for attention but that is ,,, simply not the case lmao. no woman would do something like that just to get a dopamine boost from the comments of random creepy men.

i have a pretty good following and am mutuals with quite a few other women who do the same and can confidently say, we’re just hot girls using our looks to our advantage! the more you’re hot online, the more free stuff/paid promotions you receive. the opportunities that come out of it are endless! and guess who we spend our money on and give our free stuff to? our bfs lmao.

we don’t do it for the attention of others, we do it we already know that we’re hot. we’re just simply, and easily, using our hotness as a way to truly benefit ourselves.

silverhippo15 · 2023-10-18T18:13:07+00:00

I consider it a given and non-negotiable. It's not worth tackling. A woman without a social media addiction is basically a woman without a vagina.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-10-18T18:19:18+00:00

It didn’t and doesn’t.

Just image what “post whatever, I don’t even look that much at your account. Me and my bros are going out tho-“ Sounds like. compared to all the dudes who are genuinely concerned about the opinions (a lot from people they don’t even know) online.

Hoopy223 · 2023-10-18T18:39:00+00:00

Women hooked on IG is the nature of the beast these days.

Men’s brains and women’s brains respond differently to stimuli. Women get an extremely large dopamine rush on social media (IG whatever). It’s very similar to how Mens brains react while playing video games.

ColbyXXXX · 2023-10-18T19:16:00+00:00

If she is funny on social media and good at memes she is better for me than if she is not.

MistyMaisel · 2023-10-18T18:24:19+00:00

I simp for mommy all the time uwu.

candikanez · 2023-10-19T00:04:51+00:00

Says someone who spends his life on Reddit

Workaholiconew · 2023-10-18T18:50:19+00:00

women are attention whores by default, and I accept that.

Saying that, it is a very unattractive feature, and it may make me not want to interact with her if she is a social media addict.

Jake_Barnes_ · 2023-10-19T02:41:28+00:00

Does it make her ass any tighter? Or her skin any fairer, or her eyes any bluer? No

giveuporfindaway · 2023-10-19T02:48:52+00:00

Well it's basically a platform for being digitally immodest on the pretense of other bullshit. How would I feel about my woman walking around in public naked to get attention?

Turbulent-Tonight975 · 2023-10-19T04:06:16+00:00

The more she does social media the less I am interested in her. There is a type of perfectionism called 'social perfectionism' that involves people who want to appear perfect to everyone else. These are people who do things only to manage the impressions others have of them.

In relationships these are the people who post all the cute couples pictures, even if they are fighting and having a miserable relationship because they want the appearance of perfection. These people are more motivated by this appearance than having a good relationship.

Personally I don't want to be with someone who has more concern with the appearance than how the relationship actually goes. I think those with excessive social media are likely to be in this category.

Chance_Base_854 · 2023-10-21T16:30:49+00:00

Look at all the single men chiming in on their perfect women lmao forever. Dream on boys, be lucky if you get a hole in the ground

Title	How does a woman's social media use affect your attraction to her?
Author	nihongonobenkyou
Upvotes	22
Comments	63
Date	October 18, 2023 6:01 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17ax1zy/how_does_a_womans_social_media_use_affect_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-does-a-womans-social-media-use-affect-your.1235582 https://theredarchive.com/post/1235582

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