i dont think i understand hypergamy

passepar2t · 2020-11-13T11:06:49+00:00

Women will want to find a superior man. It doesn't mean they'll 100% of the time act on it.

Basically, you can't afford to relax and stop striving to be attractive.

wekacuck · 2020-11-13T11:46:50+00:00

Basically, it means women will go for the best they can get.

If they are with someone and come to believe they made a mistake or that the guy isn't living up to expectations she'll move on.

So generally either the guy she's with sucks and has become repulsive or she has a very specific upgrade in mind and is pretty confident the upgrade will commit to her.

Tactically, some women will dump first, many will cheat to try and secure commitment before dumping.

sritaunicelular · 2020-11-13T13:24:41+00:00

This is what’s so scary about getting indoctrinated by Red Pill ideas when you’re so young. They sell the notion that “all women are like that” and simply put, there is no way that this applies to everyone. Women can cheat and leave, men also cheat and leave. I know it’s scary to enter a relationship because you can potentially get hurt, but that’s the risk we take, both genders alike.

All the pseudo science, statistics and logic won’t magically prevent this. Sure, some people are “more likely” to behave in specific ways, but even then there’s no guarantees because there are exceptions to rules, people change, grow. Working on yourself, learning to be emotionally mature, communicating openly, not making having a partner your number one priority, but especially realizing you don’t have control over other people but yourself, is more important in my opinion.

Take everything you read here with a grain of salt and don’t let it sabotage you, make you feel paranoid or scared about how every single woman is evil and trying to get you, because it’s not true.

Eastuss · 2020-11-13T10:55:50+00:00

Hypergamy primarily shows itself as women picking men above them in most metrics besides femininity:

Age
Earnings
Status
aggressiveness, assertiveness, emotional stability....
Height/Size
....

Women rarely ever pick men bellow them in these. This is what men do. This is supposed to teach you about how to raise your attractiveness to women. One quick improvement most men do not do is to go toward sightly younger women.

Then hypergamy as per TRP sees it is here to warn you that women aren't loving you for who you are but for what you provide them, and that if someone could provide more than you, then they might leave you for them. Just like some men leave their ageing wives for younger ones, because men don't love women for who they are but for the femininity they provide.

It doesn't mean all women are always trying to meet new men and branch swing in order to get the chance to know better men. It means women's nature is like this, and to keep one around you have to be a good deal enough so that leaving you would represent a bigger risk for her than staying.

jake898zo · 2020-11-13T17:37:38+00:00

[deleted]

insertcredit2 · 2020-11-13T11:25:22+00:00

It's easy enough to understand. Say you're dating a girl who's a 5/10 and an 8/10 girl wants to fuck you do you leave your 5/10 girlfriend?

You're 18 so the answer might be a simple yes but the reality is there's more to the question. Do you love your girlfriend, so is banging this chick worth the heart break? Are you tied to your girlfriend in some ways like do you live together so you'll have to find a new place to live? Does this new girl offer you more than just sex? Is she a really great person or really shitty person?

hypergamy just isn't as simple as women will leave you for anyone slightly "better" she isn't going to leave you because a guy makes slightly more money than you or is slightly better looking as she's going to be invested in you in a lot of other ways. If a woman is happy with you then it's unlikely she's going to leave you. The hard part is keeping her happy.

WilliamWyattD · 2020-11-13T13:30:38+00:00

Strictly speaking, in the social sciences, 'hypergamy' refers to a female's tendency to mate upwards in status. This is fairly universal across cultures and in other primates. So clearly there is some biological/evolutionary basis for it. Of course, culture will then play it's part.

Now this tendency to mate upwards in status naturally implies other psychological tendencies which would cause this hypergamous behavior. Red Pill was one of the first groups to really try to explore what these implied psychological traits might be. They definitely came up with some interesting stuff worthy of further exploration and consideration, but they also definitely went way overboard in their speculation and conjecture as well.

In terms of what the OP is worrying about, I feel it is best to be pretty conservative in one's estimations about what hypergamy constitutes. It is obvious that if every woman lost 100% of her sexual attraction to every man of lower competence/dominance/status (however you define it) than the highest value man she meets, or even than the highest value man she might have a chance with, then society would already be complete shambles. It is not that extreme.

So being conservative, what a man has to remember IMO is that there is a fundamental asymmetry in the relationship when it comes to sexual attraction and perceived strength and successfulness. When a man fails at something or loses arguments or just doesn't shows strength and competence, he risks losing some of his raw sexual attractiveness in a way that just isn't true for the woman. There is always this double jeopardy. As an example, if she loses her job, the material consequences of the job loss are the only threat. If he loses his job or fails to succeed at work, then there are the actual consequences of the job loss to deal with and the potential loss the woman's sexual attraction. A woman may believe in her marriage vows and even be truly 'ride or die', but that doesn't mean the relationship won't fundamentally change even if she stays loyal and faithful.

This is just how women are programmed. It isn't really good or bad. Men have their own biologically programmed flaws, too. So each gender has their burdens. Just be aware of it and work around it. One poster once mentioned a theory that men have a certain manliness bank account. If you build it up in good times, you are able to make withdrawals, within limits, during bad times and maintain a woman's perception of you as a strong man that she can be attracted to. So just be strong, manly and capable as much as you can, and when the bad times happen, try to get through them while showing as little weakness as possible, and everything should be OK in a good relationship IMO.

daydreaming-g · 2020-11-13T19:43:07+00:00

I asked my friend if she would cheat with a model. She said no she doesnt care if he is a model. She said he needs to win her love and then she breaks up with her current bf

throw-away-1709 · 2020-11-13T13:12:54+00:00

You see the nature of women and what their vows are worth when you come to the point where they aporoach you.

Don't care if it is for the fat sixpack the yacht or the fat wallet or my chaaaaragggderrr they looooveee.

They are such blunt and open that even if you are married and they are married to a -not so fortunate- friend they offer sex and affair to get you out of your commitment.

I'd say it is a single event with a special bad female - but no.

Happened often to me.

So as a male who has to chase or who is commited to a faiiiiithhhhfuuuulll wife you can't imagine how they are deep inside.

No_Control5861 · 2020-11-13T17:19:35+00:00

First of all its never all women, its more realistically like 20-40% that may secretly cheat on their partner. I pulled that percentage outta my arse but it its definitely not all women or even half in my opinion. I've personally had 2 girls cheat on their boyfriends with me but I was in their lives before they met their boyfriends, and I was barely higher value than them, just better looking that's it

mae1995111 · 2020-11-14T12:06:06+00:00

and obviously there is always a better person

This isn't so obvious. Who's the better person exactly? People are complex.

Zaza-SpiritWolf · 2020-11-15T04:52:53+00:00

Complete bs, i love my husband and never in a thousand years would i ever betray his trust and cheat on him. Women are just as likely to cheat as any man would, it has nothing to do with their gender, and everything to do with their virtue as a person.

wtknight · 2020-11-13T14:28:49+00:00

Women won’t cheat hypergamously if they’re in love with a man. They’re probably less likely to cheat than a man who is in love with a woman, who may cheat polygynously. The key is to stay high value in that woman’s mind. A guy who drops below the quality level that he was at when he first met the woman is likely to end up in a situation where the woman falls out of love with him, especially if she maintains her quality and he does not.

cunningcaring · 2020-11-13T11:31:40+00:00

More men cheat than women.

Hypergamy applies to men and women.

Most women don't cheat.

GGMcThroway · 2020-11-13T16:41:33+00:00

Most of it is paranoia. A lot of people who shill the idea of hypergamy as an absolute are extremely insecure and would rather assume they're living a worst-case scenario than trust their partner.

The closest opposite-gender equivalent is the idea that men will always cheat with a younger woman if the option is available. If you had a girlfriend and you really loved her, would you cheat on her with a younger woman if you suddenly had the option to do so? If not, there's no reason to assume your girlfriend would cheat on you with a "better" man just because she has the option to.

A healthy relationship requires trust between both partners. Trusting your partner will mean that it's possible for your partner to hurt your feelings (and that, likewise, it's possible for you to hurt their feelings). If you can openly communicate with your partner without having to worry about them getting angry about something benign, that's a good thing. If you and your partner have similar values and can make sure neither of you are misinterpreting things before one of you gets angry, that's a good thing.

There's no 100% guarantee that your partner won't leave you, but there's no 100% guarantee that you won't leave her either. The best you can do is know what you want in a woman, know what things are red flags to you, and know your own boundaries and be willing to enforce them. You won't be compatible with every woman, but you will be compatible with some. The trick is to find a woman in the latter category.

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jake898zo · 2020-11-13T13:46:16+00:00

[removed]

LooseIndication · 2020-11-14T01:56:33+00:00

Hypergamy means that women are temporarily attracted to men for biological reasons.

No woman can "fall in love" with you, and keep loving you because she loved you in the past.

All the effort you spent on a relationship is not stored somewhere like savings in a vault, for which the woman will keep loving you. It is spent, gone. Irrelevant. Worthless.

A woman will want you as long as you are her best choice. Even if she is married, and pledged to love you, she can't. She will cheat if given the chance. She will monkey branch if given the chance. She will divorce if given the chance.

Soul mates do not exist. Loyalty does not exists.

Romantic love does not exists. All that exists is horniness. Horniness is temporary.

When a woman is no more horny towards you, she no more loves you.

PM_ME_STRIPPERS · 2020-11-14T02:29:16+00:00

Hypergamy is all about women chasing men above their looks match.

Epmt · 2020-11-14T13:55:50+00:00

I mean its not that simple , if your girl is very average looking and your the best she can do she will probably stick around, i think the issue here is the girls who are 8-10s that are bombarded with messages every day .

DXBrigade · 2020-11-14T20:56:19+00:00

If you want to learn about real Relationships, You need to get off the manosphere and date 3D women.

SaBahRub · 2020-11-13T13:25:24+00:00

Women are relatively successful at cheating is because men make it easy. Take a look at gay men and women if you want to know each gender’s real sexual tendencies and motivations

2020-11-13T16:22:52+00:00

You need to experience life and human relationships to understand the dynamics. PPD will not help you find a loyal girlfriend, you have to get one by being your best self. Will she leave? Will she cheat? Since you are teenagers, these things can happen. You can also cheat on her, statistically you are likely to do so.

Live a little before you get all gloom and doom.

Kettlefork5 · 2020-11-13T21:10:21+00:00

That’s absolutely not true at all! There are so many women that are perfectly satisfied in their relationships, who care so much about their husbands, and would never even think about cheating. I don’t even feel any sexual attraction to anyone else when I’m interested in someone. I have a boyfriend currently that I absolutely adore, and I’m absolutely obsessed with him. No other guy matters to me. When you love someone, it doesn’t matter how many people around you there are that are more insert characteristic here than that person, you love that person for who they are, exactly how they are. Flaws included. Please don’t believe incels and misogynists, you’ll fall into the same hole they do, and that’s a terrible path to loneliness and unhappiness.

Title	i dont think i understand hypergamy
Author	jake898zo
Upvotes	13
Comments	178
Date	November 13, 2020 10:44 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/jtey7z/i_dont_think_i_understand_hypergamy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/i-dont-think-i-understand-hypergamy.326401 https://theredarchive.com/post/326401

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