Insecurities/controlling

wtknight · 2024-07-13T17:09:42+00:00

Removed. No rants. Debate posts need to make an actual focused argument on this sub.

krackedy · 2024-07-13T14:49:22+00:00

I don't think it's okay for either gender to be controlling.

But I'll tell you a secret, a lot of guys in relationships say "can't go, wife said no" as an excuse because they don't want to go but lack a spine.

MongoBobalossus · 2024-07-13T15:04:58+00:00

Any controlling behavior is based on insecurity and jealousy, regardless of sex.

DreaminInChocolate · 2024-07-13T16:03:53+00:00

it perfectly acceptable for a dude to say I can't go cause wife/gf says no

He's a grown ass adult. He can go. He's choosing to not go and often times it's said as an excuse because he's not that into hanging out with you. The ONLY time he asks me if we have plans is because he wants me to invent some reason for him to not go. Your boundaries are about you and what you will tolerate in a relationship. They are not about preventing anyone from doing anything else. Your boundaries mean that you leave the relationship. That's it.

Wodanaz-Frisii · 2024-07-13T14:52:55+00:00

You know it is funny that 90 percent of the posts in this subreddit are from men whining about women.

SaBahRub · 2024-07-13T15:47:24+00:00

Then stop dating these oppressive, vile monsters and get an agreeable doormat

EulenWatcher · 2024-07-13T15:57:40+00:00

You can put your boundaries and choose a partner that respects them. It's also a good idea to choose a partner who has compatible values and views on things, so stuff like going to the club or having orbiters wouldn't even be a problem in your relationship.

I'm fine with saying that I don't do some things, because my husband doesn't like it. He does the same and neither of us is a control freak. But things like keeping in touch with a person who's into you or going to the club just aren't a problem we're dealing with. I don't have any orbiters and I've never been to the club, as it doesn't seem as something I'd enjoy in the first place.

Snekky3 · 2024-07-13T16:12:33+00:00

Wearing make up is a persons own behavior. Telling someone they can’t have friends or go to somewhere is controlling ANOTHER person’s behavior.

Infinite_Signal90 · 2024-07-13T15:17:49+00:00

Loads of people are insecure. I’m insecure about lots of things. If you’re worried your girl is gonna cheat, then you’re feeling insecure. Whether it’s justified or unjustified insecurity is another matter entirely.

spanglesandbambi · 2024-07-13T15:18:53+00:00

Street_Language2736 · 2024-07-13T15:03:00+00:00

exactly, last time I checked confidence was key, insecurity is unattractive and "just love yourself". go to the club without makeup if you aren't insecure.

or admit that you are wrong and all humans are insecure, it's in our nature, and stay home.

alwaysright12 · 2024-07-13T15:10:53+00:00

So if a woman doesn't wear make up or go clubbing she can be controlling?

half3mptyhalffull · 2024-07-13T15:20:26+00:00

yall are insecure because every single one of you don't like how your face looks since all of you hide your acne scars or less than perfect faces behind makeup

(me over here liking my face just fine, rarely ever wearing makeup, and getting irritated when people think its lazy of me for not wearing makeup).

but thats not an insecurity of mine. in fact, i dont have a single female married friend who feels insecure without makeup on, or even wears it regularly.

it perfectly acceptable for a dude to say I can't go cause wife/gf says no... but if it were the flipside he's a insecure controlling asshole.... so who's really the insecure and controlling one?

not me and my friends trying to figure out how to get our husbands to hang out more with literally any of their friends because they rarely do, but are so much happier when they do.

if this is how you see women treating men irl and you dont like it, youre running in the wrong circles of people.

but to answer your question, both of them are the insecure controlling asshole in this circumstance, clearly.

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No-Rough-7390 · 2024-07-13T15:41:19+00:00

I think that single behavior by women who are in relationships has been so normalized that calling it out has become controversial. But hey, if you accept it then expect it.

Title	Insecurities/controlling
Author	Gold_Supermarket1956
Upvotes	0
Comments	86
Date	July 13, 2024 2:47 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1e2c4no/insecuritiescontrolling/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/insecuritiescontrolling.1524172 https://theredarchive.com/post/1524172

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