Anybody else notice this Catch 22 regarding paternity tests? Based on debates in this forum along withrelated Reddit stories/inquiries.

If you request to have the paternity test, that is grounds for divorce as that shows that you do not trust your wife.

If the baby/child shows phenotypical characteristics (recessive/atavistic traits) that don't seem to be yours, getting the paternity test is again, grounds for divorce if the baby is yours.

*If a few years have passed and the paternity test shows you are not the father, and you choose to jettison yourself from the kid's life:

  1. you are an evil sociopath for abandoning that child
  2. Blood doesn't matter, you're still the father.
  3. You're not the father but you're still her dad!
  4. You raised them for X amount of years. They're your daughter/son
  5. It's an innocent child, you're breaking their heart!

Then add to that the laws that lean towards holding you financially accountable for a child you didn't create, if your name is on the Birth Certificate. Or if you owe back-child support.

Solution: Get that test! Be upfront about your desire for it way before you have kids. If she leaves because of that conversation, chalk it to the game.

*Examples where these responses were pulled:

OP specifies that he means leaving the child after finding this out after *years*

WIBTA if I walked out on my child’s life after finding out she isn’t really mine?