Sharing positive stories?

YaKnowEstacado · 2023-04-28T18:41:35+00:00

In the summer of 2010 my boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me after taking a job in another state. Basically we were not on the same page about the seriousness or trajectory of the relationship and I was in denial about it. As a result of the breakup and other stressful events going on in my life, I was extremely bummed out and depressed for several months and basically never left the house except to go to work.

At the time I was living with my best guy friend who was always trying to get me to go out with him. One night he was especially pushy about getting me to go to a bar to hear our friend's band play, and I agreed but I was extremely grumpy about it. At the bar we met up with some other mutual friends, one of whom brought his roommate, who I had never met before. The friend introduced me to his roommate and I went like this: 🤩

I can't really explain why, but the attraction and chemistry was immediate and intense. We talked all night and danced for a couple of songs. Eventually I decided I wanted to go home, and he offered to walk me to my car. Before I left, he asked for my number and I gave it to him.

A month or two went by and I never heard from him. Once again I was bummed out and depressed. Then I went to his house (again, he lived with a friend of mine) for a Christmas party, and I saw why he never texted me -- he had a girlfriend. (I later found out it was an ex girlfriend he'd gotten back together with a little while after we met).

For the next year we kept running into each other as our friend group continued to overlap, and I nurtured my crush on him and would frequently get drunk and cry to my friends about it. He and his ex broke up and got back together several times. They eventually broke up for good and she moved.

That was my cue to start being EXTREMELY annoying and psychotic. I hung out at his house almost every night (it was kind of a party spot). When people weren't hanging out there, I would use our mutual connections to figure out where he WAS hanging out and show up there. I would leave my jacket or shoes at his house or in his car to have an excuse to see him again. I found out what his favorite movies were and watched them all so I could bring them up in conversation. One time he was drunk and said he was hungry so I drove to McDonald's at like 3am to buy him some McDoubles.

Eventually my psycho shit paid off and one night at a party he kissed me. Over a month or two we gradually evolved from drunk makeout buddies to fuck buddies to dating to a couple. After a year of dating we moved in together and after five years we got married. We've been together for 11 years, married for 6 and our son will be 2 next month.

The sex life in the beginning of the relationship and now?

We started our relationship as horny 22-year-olds and couldn't keep our hands off of each other for two years straight. Naturally in an 11-year relationship with a kid, illnesses, deaths of parents, fertility and postpartum complications etc. sex has ebbed and flowed, but we still have sex 3-4 times a week. No complaints from me.

Did having a relationship with a man destroy your work and career opportunities?

No, but I always knew I wanted to get married and have kids even before a specific man was in the picture, so I planned my career around that.

Did marriage eat all your savings, do you think you could make more money if you didn’t get married?

I don't really understand how marriage could eat your savings unless you have a huge expensive wedding, which we didn't. Our savings are about to be eaten up by a down payment on a house but I'd probably be doing that whether I was married or not. If I wasn't married/didn't have a kid at this point in my life I might pursue a higher-paying job, but that's a tradeoff I'm very happy to make, and like I said I always prioritized work-life balance in a job over money because I knew I wanted to have kids eventually.

King-SAMO · 2023-04-28T19:54:36+00:00

Booooooooo!!!

More Toxic Vitriol!!

DeshaunWalt · 2023-04-28T18:14:08+00:00

"I feel like this community is getting more hateful in recent days"

Oh no it's always been like this especially during purge week which is my favorite time since this sub turns into Twitter

"How did they meet their partner"

My ex ? We met at a club that l went with my best friend

"Why did they like them"

She was hot and had gorgeous eyes so yeah

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-04-28T19:25:28+00:00

I met my partner because he was bartending at my neighborhood Mexican restaurant. Actually it was my only neighborhood restaurant so I went there quite a bit. He had genteel manners and a cultured speaking voice, and I estimated he was around 30. He was actually in his late 40s. He would occasionally comp me a margarita. My 1-3 times a month visits gradually became once or twice a week. Then one evening he casually walked by my table and dropped something in my lap. It was a restaurant flyer with his phone number on it. We celebrate our 10th anniversary on Cinco de Mayo.

saraimarsena · 2023-04-28T18:42:45+00:00

how we met …

i met my current partner at work. we started off as good friends because we were coworkers and i was in a messy situation w my ex. knew each other about 7 months.

one night, I went out with him and some coworkers to a bar. I begged him to come. I got pretty drunk, and my feelings for him just hit me like a ton of bricks. I hit on him, pretty brazenly, but he didn’t bite. next morning he asked me if I had feelings for him, I confessed I did, he admitted to being interested in me as well. i went NC with my ex, we went on a date after work the next day and several small dates throughout the week, and over the weekend we went on two more. he told me he loved me and that was that. moved in together actually the same month we started dating.

things that stood out about him …

over the course of our friendship he just became someone whose presence i really really enjoyed. he’s the funniest person i know. at one point i even tried to set him up w a good friend of mine, so i’ve always known he has a lot of really great qualities for a relationship.

something that really stood out to me early on was how respectful he was of my physical boundaries. i wanted to wait some time to be fully comfortable having sex with him, and he was understanding. there was a night where I left his apartment early because I could tell where things were heading and I wasn’t ready to make that step yet. to other guys that could’ve been off putting but he just got me.

sex life …

like i said, we waited for sex. was not at all an indication of my libido (mines quite high) and i’m into trying new things. he makes me feel so safe and loved that my sexuality is able to flourish, and i’m extremely attracted to him. so yea sex is great!

work…

we actually kept our relationship a secret while we worked together so that it wouldn’t effect us professionally

relish5k · 2023-04-29T21:04:09+00:00

I (a woman) cold approached my husband at a concert. He actually worked for the venue and was handing out flyers. I was looking for the bathrooms but then we got to chatting and I noticed that he was quite handsome. Tall, curly brown hair, big blue eyes, broad shouldered and angled features. Before leaving I ripped off a piece of the flyer he gave me with my number and told him to call me “any good concert recommendations.”

We met up about a week later and then continued to see eachother for every night for the next month. By then it was time to go back to school in different states (we were both seniors), so we did long distance for a year and then moved in together garter graduation.

For the next few years we had a very passionate relationship but we were also heavy drinkers and drug users (mostly coke). There was a lot of fighting, insecurity, emotional and occasional physical violence (on both sides).

After being together for about 5 years we decided to leave the city, sober up, and go on a bunch of hiking trips for about a year. That was our “sink or swim” time and we just decided that we are better off as a team with a common goal then trying to prove to the other why you are “right” and therefore “win” the argument. It changed our entire mentality.

When we got back we got engaged and married, now we have a toddler and one on the way. We’ve been together for almost 15 years. He truly is not just my best friend but the best man I know. I’m very lucky.

SuperCrazy07 · 2023-04-28T18:34:31+00:00

I met my wife at a bbq (many, many years ago). She was cute and going in the same direction in life.

I have far more money by being married than I would if single (two incomes and shared expenses more than offsets the tax penalty).

I will say my real world is way more normal than this sub. I know two incel guys (fat and 50) who don’t care. A few turbo sluts. A few women who waited too long to get married (rather be single than marry the guys who are left). Three guys whose wives cheated and got a divorce. One guy who cheats but is still married.

But the vast majority of people are pretty normal. I very much doubt any of them have heard of any kind of pill or care.

Katatonicsnake · 2023-04-28T19:07:01+00:00

My husband and I met at our mutual friend’s birthday party. I didn’t notice him because I was focused on having a conversation, but he was immediately interested. He decided to approach me when he saw me read a newspaper, which to him was the cherry on top. He made his intentions clear, even put his arm above me. It was clear from the beginning that our sense of humor was very similar, even our friend pointed that out when he left: “When I saw you next to each other, I knew that you two were meant to be”. My other friend, who was with me, couldn’t believe how perfect he was (she had saw him before me).

I am neurodivergent so any type of hinting or implying would not have worked. We hit it off right away because he was super direct, something that probably wouldn’t work with everyone. I liked him and like him because he’s confident, but smart and kind. And handsome. I was surrounded by my dearest friends when we met so I felt safe, it was the right time and place.

I don’t have bad dating experiences and I have always gotten along with men, probably because my dad took me everywhere when I was a child so that’s what I’m used to. It feels odd to me to read some of these hostile posts. I have always had some types of relationships with men so I don’t see it affecting my life negatively.

How about you?

DrinkItInMan11 · 2023-04-29T03:43:06+00:00

Not in terms of relationships but the Red Pill helped get me out of my post break up slump around 2 years ago, I was broke, living on campus, was staying in my room most of the day, barely eating, drinking way too much alcohol, but eventually I decided to start reading TRP and while a lot of the advice is basic and common sense, it really gave me the push I need to get off of my arse and get back out there again, I started consistently going to the gym again, I started eating properly and clean, taking my studies seriously.

For all the negative feedback that TRP gets, it helped me get back on track in my life and it's the reason I've become as disciplined and strong minded as I am today.

MistyMaisel · 2023-04-28T18:44:23+00:00

Sure. We met at a gym. Technically, his ex introduced us, but I really hardly recall him from that brief 2 minutes because I was so shy and have such blinders towards men who are taken.

The only thing I remembered was her telling me he was such a good guy, and I could tell from looking at her that she'd been through it with men and knew what a bad guy looked like. Either way, maybe 1 months later, I ended up parked super far away in the dead of winter and all the people I really knew weren't at the gym that night, so I remembered what she said and asked him to walk me to my car.

I thought they were still together and really just wanted to get to my car unmolested. I think he thought I was coming onto him (he'd broken up with her maybe two weeks prior. Didn't tell me that.) I dunno, he basically told me his life story during the ten minute walk and shared a lot of his struggles, traumas, and issues (many of which we had in common). This wasn't that odd, I always joke that I have these big eyes that makes strangers just tell me their life story unsolicited. It was a nice little bonding session.

We hit it off from there really. He's the funniest human I know, really eccentric, interesting, very manly and strange, but also just such a good, generous, and kind dude. We share a lot of bizarre things in common, lots of similar tastes in comedy, music, and such. The more we got to know each other the funnier it was because we knew so many people in common, but it was like we had always been a few different decisions from meeting. He's just the best most funny guy. So much so that I didn't realize I was into him, I just knew no matter what I wanted him in my life. I just liked what he was about.

As for what caused the next move, I dunno, we talked a lot at the gym, texted a bunch outside of it, and finally the one day he randomly asked if I was free after work to grab food. I actually didn't think it was a date since we'd known each other for probably like...3 months and he'd only recently left his ex and was clearly pretty abused from that situation. It wasn't until the second date that I told my mother where I was going with him and she asked if it was a date, and I didn't think so, and she was like: I def think he's taking you on a date, you moron. And yeah, retrospectively, these were clearly dates. There were a few more dates just for fast food and stuff. And they weren't really super romantic so I really thought we were just settling into friendship. But, then he did eventually kind of try to make a move by telling me he was considering kissing me. And that was such a weird phrasing of it that I told him he could let me know what he decided and he didn't do anything so I figured he'd decided against kissing me which really in my mind solidified the friendship aspect. And it wasn't until he asked me over to watch a movie and made a proper move on me and I made the pikachu face, but was down for that. Long story followed that of us not getting together, being friends for a long while, and then him taking another shot at me.

Sex was a slow start. I was a virgin and not super ready to change that for someone who'd shown such fuckboi standards and ways. A lot of messing about for like the first 4 months of being together until I was ready to take the plunge. I'd say it only gets better and better from there. Very consistent, super fun? I'm happy, I'd take a little more, but I know he has a much harder day than I do. He has always been really patient, really wonderful, really happy to teach, and never made me feel like a moron or an object to be used and abused. Never told me what I'd like or that I should like something. Never assumed stuff.

Being honest, yeah, I turned down a job that would have taken me away from him. He was supportive, but I could tell he really wanted to be prioritized. I don't regret that choice, but if we broke up, I admit, I'd be a little bitter that I made the sacrifice of that for him. But he's worth it as far as I'm concerned.

We haven't married as of yet. But yes, I do spend quite a bit of money on him. And I don't regret that at all. But yes, I would have lots more money if I wasn't with him. But, money really doesn't matter that much to me.

literaryhogwartian · 2023-04-28T18:53:14+00:00

Met my husband through tennis. He was and is the most interesting person I've ever met.

Sex life was good at the start but is even better now.

He encouraged me to pursue my goals and I have achieved so much as his partner with his support.

We are doing well financially

AngeCruelle · 2023-04-28T20:26:21+00:00

Those of you who recognize me from previous accounts or my series on the megathread probably know a lot of it already.

It was one of my first times going to a bookstore again since Covid lockdowns. This guy walks up and apologizes for bothering me, but he was wondering if I'm a fan of LOTR, since I was looking at the Tolkien books. I didn't mind speaking to him since he seemed really polite and maybe even a bit nervous. I thought that was cute. And next thing I know I'm thinking "oh, he's pretty cute." Just my type, brunette with dark brown eyes. We kept talking for a while, and at some point I had to go but I said I hoped I would see him again. He was like "here?" and I said "it could be here, or somewhere else." That's how we ended up exchanging contact info. We've been together a little over a year now.

Ppdebatesomental · 2023-04-29T00:56:04+00:00

My h and I traveled in the same circles, had a lot of friends in common and both tended bar at different bars. I was going to school for engineering. He was a drunk, and a slut. I always liked him, thought he was attractive and funny, but never in a million years would I ever dated him. Several years later, he had been sober about 3 years, single for two. I hired him to do some work on my house, and he started fixing things I didn’t ask him to, leaving gifts (“I just happened to notice you didn’t have a pan like this”). We kind of tiptoed around moving from friends to dating. I asked him if he wanted to stay for dinner, he asked me if I wanted to see a movie together, etc…and then one night we just jumped each others bones. That night turned into a three day weekend. The rest is history.

Financially? Being married has been incredible financially. Two really can live as cheaply as one.

NangKwak51 · 2023-04-29T04:45:09+00:00

We met on a Sexless Marriage board (on the now defunct Experience Project site). She was even more starved then me. Since we'd already shared our intimate pain on the board, it was easy enough progress to a meet up.

Off topic, but on that board the split was 50/50 for men/women to be trapped in a passive aggressive hell with partners that derived material benefit from keeping us twisting in the wind. We eventually had to kick the two deadbeats to the curb.

Our first date was in a hotel room. I'd seen an old picture, but that moment when I opened the hotel room door and saw her is the greatest one of my life.

We fell into bed. 12 years later, tho much, much tested, we have never been willingly apart. We got married 2 years in.

We're old, and her menopause has been a bitch. But we still hit it in some shape or form about every other week. And there is always the low buzz of mutual attraction between us.

Miserable_Yam4778 · 2023-04-29T06:40:18+00:00

We met at a gaming store, both there to play D&D with different groups. He stared, I politely pretended not to notice, I shared my weed with him. By the end of the night he'd worked up the nerve to talk to me, and said, verbatim, "you're so fucking pretty."

Luckily for both of us I find that kind of awkward honesty charming and I gave him my number. Been together for the better part of a decade.

BioNipple · 2023-04-30T17:25:14+00:00

Male here.... I don't have a success story with relationships but just wanted to say that I have finally helped my mom pay off her house.

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januaryphilosopher · 2023-04-28T18:59:11+00:00

I met my fiancé a couple of years ago at a party through some friends at university. We became friends quickly and I developed a huge crush on him and asked him out a few months later. He's one of the kindest, sweetest and strongest people I know and my best friend to boot. We were each other's first so starting out our sex life was objectively not the best but still emotionally very nice, we've learned new skills and discovered about what we like including kinks now so it's great. I have more work opportunities now because I have someone to support me and who's willing to take on a bit more work at home to do so. I'm looking forward to getting married and building our lives together, and yes, that includes sharing money!

0DarkFlirty · 2023-04-28T19:58:03+00:00

I Dm'd her on twitter and we got to know each other then met up. We eventually moved away far from each other for work so it didn't end up working out

HobbitShaker88 · 2023-04-28T21:50:56+00:00

Okcupid in early 2016. Cute, humble, funny, intelligent. It felt right. Good and even better. Nope, we have a child with very minor medical needs so I reduced my hours for now but in a few years it's back to full time. We have similar financial habits. Not really but I don't work in a highly paid field in terms of income potential though i make enough. We have saved a good amount. Thank the everlasting lord he's not like men on here.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-04-28T23:40:19+00:00

How we met

A few of my bros and I went down to time square trying to troll on some tourists. We spotted a group of women wearing sorority shirts and hats and introduced ourselves. As the groups were mingling one girl “tripped” (I found out later this was on purpose. But she “fell” into my lap and then went “oh my shoe buckle!” And bent over right in front of me to fix her shoe and then say back down in my lap. She had my complete attention. And it turned out we had a scary amount of things in common.

Sex life

It’s going great. Right at the beginning we kind of decided we had to make US a priority. So no matter what, even if we had to put it on a calendar and schedule it, we’d have date and intimacy time for us. It sounds dumb but as long as we made sure “this is important: we need to make sure to work on this”. It stayed important and things have gone great.

Money

The two of us worked together to buy our house. Works out a financial plan and goals (we had help with a cfp in the beginning) and make sure we are taking care of our goals. And we have been booth lucky and blessed so it’s going ok.

I know for a fact that there is no way I could have afforded to buy a home in this City on one income.

meangingersnap · 2023-04-29T00:23:39+00:00

Ok so funny story, we met in this incel group on fb that we were shitposting in even though it is a serious group (in that genuine incels post). We became friends and interacted in group chats. He did have a crush on me but I had no idea and didn’t think of him in that way. Anyways about a year later a bunch of people from those circles had a movie night on discord and we ended up being the last ones in the call after the movie was done and we got to talking and had a great time so we ended up calling each night for a while and started dating. Unfortunately we are long distance and that sucks but he’s come and visited me a few times. We’ve been together a year and a few months and have plans to have him move up here because we actually have free healthcare and I already have my own place whereas he lives with a couple people and getting a new place is a nightmare. It’s been lovely even though we have to struggle thru being long distance (I miss fucking him and we would have sex multiple times a day when we were together, he actually was surprised how much I wanted sex because he’s not someone that’s particularly horny whereas I’m kinda insatiable.) I liked him because he’s funny, handsome, very family oriented and committed, loyal, it helped that he had a big dick too, he’s very eager to please and focuses on my pleasure before his own. I’ve never been in such a serious relationship, most of my relationships had been open at that point and I was hesitant about monogamy and it was definitely an adjustment especially since we’re long distance. Being with him hasn’t affected my business and he helps me with it as much as possible so I can be comfortable financially but he doesn’t like it and I’m going to need to leave eventually and do something else because it does affect him negatively (I’m a dominatrix lol). We’re not married so I can’t comment on that

Zabadoodude · 2023-04-29T00:59:24+00:00

I met my girlfriend at a singles Meetup event. I didn't talk to her at first, because I thought, being gorgeous and a decade younger than me, she wouldn't be interested. A few drinks and boring conversations later, I worked up the courage to approach her. We instantly clicked. I was drawn to her passion for life, her kindness, and her optimism.

We are very attracted to each other. We have a similar outlook on life and relationships. Similar communication styles, humor, love languages, values, and libidos. We share a number of common interests, and have compatible goals.

We've been together for less than a year, so it's still early, but I feel this might be the one. We have a connection that I didn't have with any of my exes.

wtknight · 2023-04-29T01:16:45+00:00

I met my wife from a developing country in an online chatroom. We're still happily married.

MrHustleTopG · 2023-04-29T03:13:40+00:00

Got a vasectomy not to long ago no child support for me whoooo!

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-04-29T03:30:53+00:00

He's not "my partner" but the guy I'm seeing now I met a few months back on Bumble (a dating app).

I asked him out. I like him because we both are compatible, desire each other intensely, have chemistry, communicate well, and have compatible ideas of the amount of time we want to spend together and what that looks like.

We both made moves on each other together (though I initiated). We're both rabid. I spend more money dating than I did when I was at home during the first few years of the pandemic but I'm still on track with my financial and career goals. Part of that is because I found someone who doesn't interfere with that and he happened to like me back.

I am not getting married and we're both on the same page about never wanting to marry. If you're talking about alimony most divorces (90%) do not award any alimony to either party.

not0my0real0account7 · 2023-04-29T03:33:38+00:00

I'll probably delete the account, so I'll dare tell my personal story, because I think it might encourage others that are so sad they couldn't find love yet. 🐸

I will first tell a little backstory.

Because of my autism I couldn't make friends or get close to people, all my life I've been extremely alone. I usually fear and avoid the others although I also try to help and be friendly,but I usually help someone and then run away 😀. When I was younger (high-school, college) I would almost never go out with colleagues/friends, I would talk to no one, mostly spending time at home studying, or reading in the park (and it actually continued during adulthood as well).

How did they meet their partner ?

In my country I heard that someone decided to try an aerospatial program on their own (of course being helped with funding) and although the idea of talking to strangers made very anxious, I contacted them to work as a volunteer. I think I was 19 at that time. It was a leap of courage as it was the first time I would go out of the city without my mother (the meeting was in another city) and only surrounded by strangers. There I met a boy, that somehow caught my attention. He was also a bit shy and withdrawn, like me. He came there with his father in their own car. After the meeting, as we were from the same city, him and the father asked if I wanted to come with them in the car. It was completely out of character for me to accept, but I felt i can trust them.

Why did they like them?

I talked with the boy and found we share mostly the same domains of interest. Afterwards we had some common tasks and we continued talking. I found out he was almost 3 years older so that was a lot for me, but I still liked him. At that age I would never go to someone's home without my mother, yet one time we had to work on something common and also help him study something so I did got the courage and visited him at home (we were at the same college, but he was on "no frequency" studying, don't know the English term) - we didn't do anything immoral, just study, but to this day he remains the only boy/man whose house I visited, and only one whom I allowed to visit me. After some time I quit volunteering, a few years passed and we haven't talked, he had no idea that I liked him as I was too shy and afraid to say anything.

After about 10 years, I was already 30, we restarted talking after wishing him happy birthday on Facebook. As we both have a passion for science and philosophy, we would write a lot on skype. At Christmas, as we were both lonely we decided to meet. Afterwards for the next 6 (almost 7) years we got out together, almost weekly, to have walks in the park, go to museums, play ping-pong, etc. But we were like brother and sister. He was my first and only friend in my life (he does have a few friends) and none of us ever had a romantic (or any kind of) partner till that age.

What made them the next move?

I confessed my feelings a few years ago, but it didn't develop in a romantic relationship. Yet about a year ago we decided that we could as well get married. So I guess he is my fiancee now.

The sex life in the beginning of the relationship and now?

We are both waiting until marriage. I would actually never choose someone who would consider doing this before marriage. Right now we only hold hands from time to time and hug. Rarely kiss on the cheek.

Did having a relationship with a man destroy your work and career opportunities?

No, why would that happen?

Did marriage eat all your savings, do you think you could make more money if you didn’t get married?

I'm actually saving up for marriage, as he is ill and can't work, so I'm trying now to work more (I'm considering starting my own business) so that we can have a nice life and also maybe later, in a few years to have a child (not quite decided on that one yet, as we are both having neurological disorders, and we might not be suited as parents)

I'm actually extremely happy with him. I never thought I would ever have a friend, not to mention a husband. So I'm extremely grateful to the Universe that I had the chance to meet him. I love him so much.

lotter-otter · 2023-04-30T09:59:45+00:00

Yesterday my bf told me he remembered the exact outfit I wore when we first met, I thought that was really cute.

Title	Sharing positive stories?
Author	anonymous375555
Upvotes	23
Comments	77
Date	April 28, 2023 6:08 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/13258d7/sharing_positive_stories/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/sharing-positive-stories.1217397 https://theredarchive.com/post/1217397

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