Nobody in a toxic/abusive relationship or situation is to blame. Most perpetrators are very good at hiding their tendencies and will love bomb and manipulate their victims in the early stages of a relationship.

There’s also factors like how our childhoods form our schemas, children from abusive homes are significantly more likely to be in abusive relationships as adults.

By the time they let their bad side out the other person is very emotionally invested. Anyone who’s been in a relationship knows how difficult it can be to leave by then. When I was young and had never been in a relationship I also thought “duh just dump them!”.

I’ve known men who showered their gfs with romantic gestures and were the model boyfriend whilst cheating constantly. Always posted them on social media, open phone, introduced her to family/friends, genuinely no red flags

Sometimes people get unlucky and find themselves with someone nasty without realising. It’s not like abusive people go on a first date and start insulting and assaulting the person there and then

Men here seem to understand this just fine when talking about abusive women or gold diggers. But when it comes down to women in the same situations with men it’s:

“Should have picked better”

“The red flags would have been there but she ignored them”

“She chose to stay with him she can’t complain”

Both genders deserve the same empathy when they’re in bad situations like that but why is it only extended to men?