What age is no relationship/dating experience start to become weird/ Unattainable?

Popeoath · 2025-11-02T15:18:12+00:00

For virginity at-large people view it as weird after the average college graduate age of 21-22 and increasingly bizarre to creepy the closer you get to the average marriage age of 28-30.

Lower the ages listed there for kissing, relationships, and dating. I'm not sure exactly how much but I'd cut around 4 years off for some of them, since they're viewed as much less complex to get than sex. Even plenty of virgins have done some of those.

Technically though an average looking man can remain inexperienced purely by being passive natured, like most women are, so it really shouldn't be inherently judged at any age; there's no moral folly in being passive. But we live in a dumb world.

Fancy-Scallion-6682 · 2025-11-02T11:24:27+00:00

Where I am 28+ and women will reject you. Hard pill to swallow ngl.

UnpredictableDemise8 · 2025-11-02T10:49:16+00:00

I think 25 is a hard cut-off for most people. Although more for men than women.

Grow_peace_in_Bedlam · 2025-11-02T11:28:44+00:00

I first kissed by 13, but I didn't get laid till I was 20 (I could have done it earlier if it hadn't been for ED caused by excessive jerking, which I didn't know how to resolve because of all the respectable sources at the time gaslighting us that daily masturbation had no adverse, desensitizing effects, but I digress...).

In the late 2000s, losing one's virginity at 20 (at least as a male) was seen as probably the very upper end of normal, but it sounds like Gen Z has added about five years or so to this cutoff. Why is that so, Gen Z? Coming of age sexually during the pandemic?

growframe · 2025-11-02T11:16:03+00:00

It can be a bit variable but 25 is good as a hard line. If you have no experience by then it's pretty much 100% something wrong or off with you.

Soft-Neat8117 · 2025-11-02T11:47:04+00:00

25 or 30. I think 25 is when it starts to become unlikely and by 30 it's pretty much impossible without resorting to sex workers.

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Neglius · 2025-11-02T18:21:58+00:00

By 25 is a good spot to draw a line in the sand as that’s around the age where it can be reasonably explained away by college/upbringing. By my age you’d have to get extremely lucky with a not only coming across a patient and understanding woman, but also one that will entertain you for the whole nine. At least for any male living in the westernized world.

SDW137 · 2025-11-03T03:09:55+00:00

25
20
20
30

Specialist_Taro8087 · 2025-11-03T05:29:45+00:00

I’m 40. I kind of just gave up any and all hope. I just focus on my hobbies and keep to myself.

RecognitionSoft9973 · 2025-11-07T00:08:21+00:00

There are people in the virgin sub who are 40 and 50, maybe even older. The women that I'm aware of are living pretty peacefully and don't think about it too hard.

I would say that if you're 30 with zero experience, people are going to consider you strange. Even in Middle Eastern and Asian countries, where it's normal for adults to only experience sex and romance when they're married (usually after studying, once they reach their 30s).

And what age should someone just accept it will not happen if they haven't been able to do what most of their peers have done?

You don't have to accept these things. We can all change. Even if you don't want to pay, there are plenty of people even on reddit who will happily take your virginity regardless of age. Of course, I recognize it's way harder for men, but I'm sure there are unicorn women on some subreddit somewhere who have a kink for older virgin men. If you are interested in losing it that way. Other than that, I think making yourself seen, participating in a variety of spaces regarding this topic (but being constructive about it), getting therapy and making more friends (IRL) is the way forward. It's hard finding people who are sympathetic to older virgins, as people can get so judgey about these things. But it's still possible.

AlextheOGspawn · 2025-11-19T13:50:10+00:00

I'm 17 and have none of the above, I think genuinely I'm screwed

Diplomatine · 2025-11-02T14:58:40+00:00

I'd say 25 it gets weird. 40 is time to make peace with it

half_avocado33 · 2025-11-02T15:27:01+00:00

At 25 it starts to be weird imo

JadeGrapes · 2025-11-02T23:37:08+00:00

If I meet someone who is 28+ and they have never had a boyfriend/girlfriend...?

I start to wonder if they were raised with religious abuse, or they might have had a caretaker for mental health reasons, maybe they are from another culture where men and women never socialize unless related or married, maybe they are fully asexual or their have very niche "interests".

If a grown person has worked and lived separately from their parents for even 1 year... I would assume they would have some romantic history.

I've lived in California and the Midwest. In California, my GRADESCHOOL had two people who ended up pregnant before middle school. So the starting gun is a lot earlier than you would think some places.

ResponsibilityAny217 · 2025-11-03T01:22:22+00:00

IMO it starts to become weird after 22 for all four.

If u reach 30 and have unintentionally not had any of the 4. Hope in something else bc it might never happen.

(Possible to have all 4 after 30 but I don't think it's probable)

nonquitt · 2025-11-03T06:45:15+00:00

I think high level it’s weird to think of these as a box to check — usually just something that happens. But obviously if it doesn’t for whatever reason for someone you shouldn’t let it make you anxious. Live your life and be open to connecting with people and don’t be neurotic and you’ll have a happy relational life. But my answers..

Sex: 18-20? Maybe like by the time you get out of college. I had sex for the first time when I was 18 I think. It honestly wasn’t even on my mind for most of high school, I was a “young” high schooler lol. I don’t think it’s weird to not have had sex tbh at any age, but it has a weird vibe to it because people will find it un relatable since it’s something that we’re usually curious about and seek to do sometime in the 16-20 timeframe, guy or gal alike

Kiss: my first kiss was in 2nd or 3rd grade so idk the answer to this tbh. First real kiss I guess middle school. I think frankly it’s weird to even think of this as a box to check its usually just something that happens. If someone was like 18 and had never kissed someone I’d be surprised like if they said that at a party or something, would think it’s pretty wild. We’d probably get someone to kiss them then and there lmao

Date: i mean this one is also nuanced. I had strict parents so I went on only a few dates for all of high school, when I could sneak around and make it work logistically. By the time you’re out of college I think jts a good idea to have done something you’d describe as a date. In your 20s it’s like a big part of your life

Relationship: I also think this one is nuanced. For example I have FWBs but am very intentional about commitment and don’t like to lead people on if I don’t see a future with them so I’ve had few real relationships, whereas others are serial daters and have had way more “relationships,” but they were obviously going nowhere. I don’t view it as a red flag if someone has limited relationship history.

Ok-Ninja-8165 · 2025-11-03T13:04:38+00:00

Around 30. If you at very least didn't try anything just to check what's it all about at that age then you don't really need relationships or have some sort of serious problems that you had to fix years ago.

TermAggravating8043 · 2025-11-02T19:46:58+00:00

30 for all three, although I might forgive never had sex depending. And I’d say the same for both men and woman

By 30, you’ve gone through school, college, university, part time jobs, clubs, weddings, school events, community events, family events, you’ve been invited to parties, bars, clubs, debates, weekend jobs, volunteering work and you’ve still not managed to make a connection with another human being?

Yeah there’s something wrong there, either you are avoiding all social interactions, which is a massive red flag, or other people are avoiding you, which is also a red flag.

I’ll always remember Elliot Rodger described going out to parties to give girls a “chance” with him, and being pissed off nobody was bowing down at his feet. I can’t help get the same feelings when guys here describe going out socially

Title	What age is no relationship/dating experience start to become weird/ Unattainable?
Author	South-Wallaby3123
Upvotes	12
Comments	34
Date	November 2, 2025 3:23 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1om73j3/what_age_is_no_relationshipdating_experience/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-age-is-no-relationshipdating-experience-start.1565792 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565792

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