Why is it often assumed around here that only women change in a relationship?

Women marry men hoping they'll change.

Men marry women hoping they won't.

In another thread someone called this "the truest truism there is". In your experience, do you agree?

Since anecdotes seem to be the gold standard here is my take: it's a bit baffling to hear only women change/want men to change. Hearing from my female relatives growing up it was the opposite, ex. my grandfather was sweet and affectionate until after the wedding, then the cheating and physical abuse started. This was the same story for two of my aunts as well. In my own experience this happened too, my first BF was sweet and loving the first year together then became very mean and nasty when I didn't agree to every sex act he wanted.

It wasn't that my family said AMALT, two of them happily remarried to men who are pretty awesome IMO. But the warning "men can change after marriage" was common to hear growing up, and contributed a lot to my own initial fears about marriage. I also heard of women changing post marriage, so I just interpreted it as a warning to get to know your partner reeeally well, like date for 5 years before committing to something like marriage.

Anyway, like most things TRP the idea just seems too simplistic and one-sided to be taken as any sort of truism.

Discuss