Is body count real?

WolfBroder · 2022-04-22T18:10:17+00:00

Is body count real? Yes, and you’re the proof of it. You’re sitting here trying to convince us that it would be moral for you to lie to a future boyfriend or husband about your sexual history. That screams high body count behavior!

The truth always comes out. You really wanna bank your life on that your mate never saddles up to one of your friends from college and asks “so, what was X like when she was younger?”

americanoandpb123 · 2022-04-22T17:24:08+00:00

As for yourself, can you realistically keep up the lie? What if an old lover comes back into your life and your significant other becomes aware? What will you tell him them?

I am of the opinion that small lies turn to bigger and bigger ones to keep up the act. Eventually you turn to other methods of justifying the lies you've told and maintaining the story becomes exhausting.

KombuchaEnema · 2022-04-22T18:21:33+00:00

Do you think you’ll feel safe and happy in a relationship where one slip up could lead to everything falling apart.

My husband has ADHD. Sorry to say this, but people with ADHD are horrible liars. You won’t be able to keep your facts straight. You’ll slip up. You’ll forget a detail. You’ll misremember something you said. My husband is medicated and he still can’t lie very well when I interrogate him.

There are men who will date you even with a high body count. You don’t get to lie to avoid the consequences of your actions (which is that certain men don’t want to date you).

You don’t get to force someone into a relationship they don’t want. That’s immoral, and it’s a sign of low moral character.

You need to do some serious work on yourself.

cast-away-ramadi06 · 2022-04-22T17:38:10+00:00

You need to be upfront and deal with the consequences of your actions instead of hiding from them.

Some guys won't care, some will.

Suppose you met a guy who had frequented sex workers or had committed DA, do you feel you would have a right to know about this?

Late47 · 2022-04-22T18:41:35+00:00

You won't get ANY man worth a damn by lying. The fact you feel like you need to lie is a huge red flag on top of the truth.

itsbigoleme · 2022-04-22T17:37:59+00:00

I mean you don’t have to give a number but not being honest is not a good idea. You could say that you had issues back in the day and was very sexually active but have now worked through those issues and are now choosing to be more selective with who you give yourself too. If a man judges you for that then he isn’t for you

jtriangle · 2022-04-22T18:46:04+00:00

You're only as sick as your secrets.

I wouldn't wear your body count around my neck, but I also wouldn't lie to myself and pretend that I hadn't done damage to my ability to pair bond with someone. The very fact that you feel the need to lie proves that you at least subconsciously have the understanding that there's a problem there.

In terms of fixing yourself, the best thing you can do is to really work on yourself and avoid men altogether for awhile. That validation you seek has to come from you, not from someone else, and it's up to you to sort that out in your life. Spending a year celibate is a good start, but that time should be spent not simply abstaining from having sex, but also working to improve your mind and body in tangible ways.

I'd like to encourage you to read the wiki of this sub, and here's a good place to start: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/wiki/index/tableofcontents/axioms

And then move on to this thread, which is full of good ideas on how to make the most of nun mode, aka voluntary celibacy: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/u5jgkj/ideas_for_nun_mode/

davidoffwhite · 2022-04-22T17:36:34+00:00

This kind of behaviour is self destructive, plus it affects other people. Do you want to ruin more men? Do you want to live a fake life? You can run from yourself only so long. You already have a great burden so perhaps try cleaning all that first?

But it is your life so perhaps it is a path you have chosen.

ThrowRAmtf · 2022-04-22T18:26:42+00:00

for the love of God do NOT hide or change the number. Below 15 is a "normal" number, but psychologically it is very different saying 3 when the real number is 14 than if the real number is 89 and you say 35.

Being sincere upfront will pay in the long run.

You do not need to disclose this information at the first date, but surely before any major step: sleeping together (not making love, just the first night together), meeting parents, siblings, etc.

You might lose somebody but who remains will have digested that information at an easier step of the relationship. Good luck.

Lando_620 · 2022-04-22T19:22:23+00:00

Nobody but you can stop you, but it is about more than choosing a fake number.

First, lying to a partner, if you truly want to build trust is problematic. You will always have to filter the stories of your past and may slip up and destroy the relationship. Most people are not very good at lying. Like 99% of the time I here an obese person talk about how they are dieting but not losing weight, they tend to reveal themselves. A simple inquiry about their diet and typically I can tell they're lying because they will always say things that they think sound good, but are not healthy. It is very hard to fake what is untrue, especially past habits/behaviors. Like their are probably ways you carry yourself, flirt, interact, react or otherwise that if considered would not mesh with your lie.

You also are lying to yourself, and once people tell major lies about their past they tend to lose themselves in the sea or those lies. This lie would involve elements of your ADHD, it would involve any number of nights out with friends, or parties, or relationships that you would have to alter your memories of to fix the new story.

Second, most guys probably won't notice but some will see right through you. It all depends on the guys experience, and if they know you're trying to hide things, then they are more likely to walk away then if you had just been honest.

SunshineSundress · 2022-04-22T19:47:42+00:00

Moving to another city, state, or country certainly makes it easier to lie about your N-count, in the short run. If you are a good enough actress, you can definitely get away with it for a while. But what happens if things get serious, and you visit your hometown together? What happens if a childhood friend accidentally mentions your shenanigans when he meets them? What happens when the guilt kicks in that your relationship is built on a lie? Can you keep up the lie to a potential husband for the rest of your lives together?

Check out this great post on how to deal with a high N-count - So what if you’ve had a lot of partners? It gives you a breakdown of your situation and actionable solutions that you can actually use.

Also, studies show that men with high N-counts are more likely to date and marry women with high N-counts. Perhaps it would be most effective to date men who have been more open to sexuality in their own lives than to look for super traditional and conservative guys and then lie to them.

jayval90 · 2022-04-22T17:50:06+00:00

Guys are forgiving about this type of thing if you can demonstrate genuine change for the better (especially high quality guys). Lying about it only proves that you have not changed for the better, and that you have not processed your past in a good way. Whether or not they find out the specifics, quality men will be affected by a choice to be untruthful.

itsmemaggi · 2022-04-22T17:39:39+00:00

I cannot speak on this from experience, but I think there's something very admirable about someone who can say, "I used to be this way, but I've changed, and here's proof." You can't erase your past, but you've learned from it. Being honest and saying, "Yeah, I've slept around, but that's no longer who I am" should be enough to keep some guys around. For others, your body count will still be a red flag, but it is what it is.

Easy-Distance1 · 2022-04-22T20:10:02+00:00

Women want a man with a future,

men want a women without a past..

Did you ever cheat on any guy once ? Or ever had multiple side pieces at once ? That's the major deal breaker, cheating. I want you to think of this whole situation from this perspective..

I give you a dominos pizza, you probably won't eat it, it's gross & cheap, and you've definitely had better. But if i give a tribal boy in Zimbabwe whom has never seen a car, a domino's pizza it'll be the best thing he's ever had..

In other words, you wouldn't be satisfied by a typical guy over the course of many years, given your past sexual appetite has been quenched by a plethora of experience with ding dong

dadudenines · 2022-04-22T21:27:15+00:00

I'm gonna inject some data here that just shows body count is generally bad (male and female):

https://ifstudies.org/blog/counterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2018/10/sexual-partners-and-marital-happiness/573493/

A mental test I give some female friends is: "Did you ever do anything sexually in the past you would not do with your possible husband?" If they don't answer or change the subject, it may highlight why they may be still single. No new guy can live up to some weird standard they may have set in the past with their sexual history.

Even if you lie about it, you still have to lie. Even if they believe the lie, you will still judge them based on your past experience yourself. No matter what, it will affect you in some way and make your relationship statistically less stable.

Your self awareness may change that in some ways, but again, it will be more of a rational mindset than the emotional one women usually want to have with genuine desire.

For an example of a high achieving woman with an extensive past, who just can't seem to accept body count is causing her trouble, not the men, here is a good essay:

https://www.elle.com/life-love/sex-relationships/advice/a10010/failure-to-launch-when-beauty-fades-323090/

Easy-Distance1 · 2022-04-24T16:03:19+00:00

Where you may have decent points, there's no misunderstanding the overall outcome. Women had to choose correctly i.e. there being no forum or birth control.. if she didn't choose the most suitable she & her offspring would parish. It's called female hypergomy, lineages die off all the time. People died quickly 40-50s were considered old back then. Women more often then not look for the bigger better deal, look at the 50-60% divorce rate as evidence, original argument posed - Men are more likely to stick around regardless of "my last 2 gf's gave better blow jobs" argument posed by you originally, it's unlikely you'll marry if she's completely trash in the sack. If that's the case then i think the dude would be acting more like a chick, instead of hashing it out. I mean, are men not extremely easy to please ? Be fit, feminine & don't screw around on him, yes ?

angelicasinensis · 2022-04-22T19:02:18+00:00

I don’t think most guys care about that, at least not in my experience .

warm20 · 2022-08-13T03:32:45+00:00

I'm sorry body high bodycount phenomena and porn are real bad side effects for your mental health psychology longterm

It will distort your perception on attraction, make you feel something's off in the future always due to that sexual dysfunction, i.e., problems with arousal, attraction, and performance, It will dull the reward center of the brain eventually and you'll be less sensitive to what a deep relationship is between you two since you've been frying your brain.

This isn't made up but actual brain scans from MRI's on porn longterm users vs people who don't abnormally have some instake of that being exposed to all sorts of unnatural settings views people etc.

Ask yourself this, is it really normal just to pull up a screen watch a bunch of people have sex and cum in a minutes or hours? It's abnormal

When it's pretty much one and one, It usually ends up with healthy sex cycles instead of a dead bedroom and unfaithfulness/unloyality/desiring others in their thoughts.

2022-04-22T19:09:20+00:00

It's a made up concept lol. It'll only bother you as much as you allow it to. Just make sure you don't project your trauma on to whoever you date.

avotoastisgreat · 2022-04-22T19:49:18+00:00

Personally, I've never had any of my high value, long term partners ask me about "body count". We talk about our past long term relationships but that's about it. If it comes up I don't think it's fair to lie about it but I also think it's fair of you to state that you don't feel comfortable talking about it.

As long as you have tested yourself and are up front with your current partner about the medical aspects of your sexual past the rest shouldn't matter.

"Body count" is all subjective anyway. You may think you have a low number and your partner may think it's high and vice versa. Personally, I'd find it rude and insecure if a man asked me about it.

Title	Is body count real?
Author	americanoandpb123
Upvotes	0
Comments	55
Date	April 22, 2022 5:14 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/u9josy/is_body_count_real/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/is-body-count-real.1111598 https://theredarchive.com/post/1111598

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