Since men on average have a physical advantage, is a gf (lightly) slapping one of her bf's cheeks in argument problematic?

Flat_Shower · 2023-07-09T14:54:06+00:00

Either gender using physical aggression because their communication skills and emotional management skills are inadequate is unacceptable.

blushingoleander · 2023-07-09T15:01:22+00:00

Not ok in any scenario. It's a lack of control over your emotions and doesn't matter if it hurts him or not. Is it ok if he calls her a cunt because he's less emotional so he doesn't mean it as much? What if he says it was a joke? Don't be violent and if this was you then go apologize.

KittenHotel · 2023-07-09T14:55:23+00:00

Violence is a poor form of communication.

diaryofalostgirl · 2023-07-09T14:55:49+00:00

Please don't introduce violence into your arguments. There are nonviolent ways to function. Look into conflict coaching.

FriendCountZero · 2023-07-09T15:10:03+00:00

This is like asking if it okay that your small dog is aggressive towards big dogs because he can't really hurt them. No, it's not okay. People need to be accountable for themselves whether they cause a lot of harm or not. This kind of behavior causes emotional damage if not physical.

basedviet · 2023-07-09T15:14:57+00:00

I would not enjoy that one bit, it’s incredibly emasculating. I think most men would also agree

Rarerestofbeans · 2023-07-09T14:55:57+00:00

That’s cavemen behavior. Extremely problematic. There are less painful ways to communicate your feelings.

cohost3 · 2023-07-09T17:12:19+00:00

Hitting someone? Even lightly? Hard no.

youllknowwhenitstime · 2023-07-09T19:29:37+00:00

OP, I've only spoken to one other woman who argued that women should be allowed to hit their men, using justifications such as "only lightly" and "to show how much she's upset". She was diagnosed with BPD. You speak of extremely intense emotions with your bf. If not for your own sake, then for his sake, any future SO's sake, and the sake of anyone else who is around you, I'd recommend looking into Dialectical Behavior Therapy resources and tools for handling emotions. (DBT was originally created for BPD, but is used for anyone experiencing extremes of emotions that impact their life quality negatively.) Here's a free workbook PDF.

If it's a joke, you weren't arguing, or even actually disagreeing. Have definitely "punched" my husband's arm in response to some harmless teasing or other from him, while both laughing, or gotten "pinned" in response to my own harmless teasing. "Smacking a man's face for talking too much" does not sound like any kind of joke - it sounds like his girl actually wanted him to quit talking and decided to be psychotic about it.

Popping your SO even symbolically to express disagreement or displeasure and then claiming it was a joke is... some dark triad nonsense. Don't do that.

And yes, slapping your man to "get your point across" is 20 different layers of counterproductive. What good could possibly come from that? Understandable reactions from him would include breaking up with you on the spot or slapping you right back, with the former being much wiser. He could use the incident to get a restraining order on you, even, at least temporarily. That's how badly this is seen.

Funny anecdote: once heard a little kid go crying to her mom because her brother "hit me back for no reason". Cute when everyone is 5 or 6, not so much for an adult. Never expose yourself to the possibility of being hit back, ie, just don't hit people.

LightOverWater · 2023-07-09T15:01:37+00:00

Once either crosses the physical barrier in an argument, that's where it starts. Where they start to feel more comfortable crossing that line.

CyberTutu · 2023-07-09T17:38:04+00:00

Playfighting is OK. Like if you feel no negative emotion whatsoever and you're both enjoying yourself.

But that's not what you're describing, is it - you're describing hitting someone when they've made you cross or annoyed you, when you disagree with them or what they're doing. That's a bad thing to do even if it is a light hit.

cbunni666 · 2023-07-09T18:17:52+00:00

Doesn't matter who is physically strong or weak. Don't put your hands on someone and visa versa unless it's for self defence. Never use physical to get a point across.

Nervous_Proposal_574 · 2023-07-09T18:33:09+00:00

Do you want communication to take place at the level of voice or violence? your choice

pieorstrudel5 · 2023-07-09T18:47:59+00:00

We keep our hands to ourselves.... Unless it's bedroom fun time and everyone has given consent.

ThoughtfulDating · 2023-07-09T19:29:16+00:00

I've seen this a lot.

A girl uses the moral taboo most men have against hitting a woman and use it to be violent against a man.

Its wrong and its childish.

No-Victory-9096 · 2023-07-09T15:16:50+00:00

Guys don't have more muscles on their faces than women lol. So it would equally hurt.

How would you like being slapped by a girl you are talking to, just because she needs to get your attention ?

Dehydrated_Jellyfish · 2023-07-09T19:31:32+00:00

You’d be shocked how many men I’ve met whose ex girlfriend used to physically assault them in some way involving the butt. Either extreme slapping, pinching, and non consensual anal penetration (yes, more than 1 guy has confessed this). It’s just not a god look and some might see it as you expressing physical trauma you had in the past.

Ok_Outside149 · 2023-07-09T19:34:16+00:00

I don’t think hitting during an argument even as a joke is acceptable because obviously there’s a hint of malice in that. You’re very much opening yourself up to him hitting you as a joke during arguments and it won’t be nice when the shoe is on the other foot.

I do think playfighting is fine, like a small push during jokes or play wrestling but I don’t think that’s what you’re describing

AutoModerator · 2023-07-09T14:46:34+00:00

Title: Since men on average have a physical advantage, is a gf (lightly) slapping one of her bf's cheeks in argument problematic?

Full text: Say a girl is 5 ft 90 lbs and her SO is 6'1 and both are athletes but the man is noticeably stronger. If she doesn't slap him as hard as she can or anything like that, but just enough to get her point across, would you say this is wrong?

^{This is the original text of the post and this is an automated service}

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

cast-away-ramadi06 · 2023-07-09T17:43:53+00:00

I've read the rest of your comments here and no, it's not acceptable. I always advise people, man or woman, to end a relationship if attacks get personal or physical, regardless of what led to the incident. Anyone that violates these boundaries lacks self control, emotional regulation, communication skills, and conflict resolution skills.

I've ended 6+ month relationships for FAR less.

Title	Since men on average have a physical advantage, is a gf (lightly) slapping one of her bf's cheeks in argument problematic?
Author	Big-Text-4930
Upvotes	0
Comments	40
Date	July 9, 2023 2:46 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/14v0dr0/since_men_on_average_have_a_physical_advantage_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/since-men-on-average-have-a-physical-advantage-is.1224746 https://theredarchive.com/post/1224746

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