Social media?

-ladykitsune- · 2021-07-19T02:03:12+00:00

I don’t have social media. In my experience, if a man is interested in me he’ll ask for my number, not my Instagram or snap.

However it is also worth noting that I am 29, and the men I date are in that age bracket. My generation did not grow up with social media, and thus think it normal not to have a heavy social media influence.

ReeGod · 2021-07-19T02:21:16+00:00

“can I get your, Instagram, Snapchat, or twitter?” and if I say, “no” they don’t even ask for my number unless I say, “do you want that instead?”

Because you just rejected them. Instead of saying "I don't use social media" you are essentially saying "I use it, but you can't have it", so why would they continue to ask?

Social media can be a toxic environment, so I wouldn't advise heavy usage, especially with your past history. However, it seems like you have already made up your mind that you would like to become active on social media again, so my only advice would be to actively limit your social media presence and stick to one platform. Not the cesspool that is twitter, Instagram is probably the lesser of the evils.

But no, it is far from necessary.

HappilyMrs · 2021-07-19T08:54:41+00:00

For me, it helps me share things with my family. It also helps me remember funny things that happened years ago, find my photos, and keep in contact with friends. It's also useful for finding local activities, information and businesses.

But I am a lot older than you, so I'm just getting loads of likes or comments on my looks, and I dont follow accounts that will make me feel bad about myself.

I find messengers (FB messenger and WhatsApp) are more essential to me than FB/IG, and I dont have some of the newer trendy ones at all.

You do you though. If you will be happier without it, do that :) if you think a compromise of messengers so you can join group chats/find out when things are happening, do that. Or have very limited profiles with no info that you share, just sonnew friends can contact you. Whatever feels best.

BeveledCarpetPadding · 2021-07-19T02:37:27+00:00

I have facebook that I have only used for messenger for the past few years. If i'm connecting with people I do not know very well but am open to talking to, I will often times offer to friend them on facebook. It's less personal, and it is something most people have. I rarely ever scroll through, and even when I do I just tend to lurk.

Social media can be a great thing to bring people together. If you tend to get sucked into being mean or overly involved in it, maybe it is not best for you. If you feel you have the strong base to be able to follow the same method I do, it may benefit you.

E: grammar

Hopeful_Pay_6685 · 2021-07-19T04:30:08+00:00

My social media is public but I only post things that I'm fine with my parents, grandparents seeing. Basically no selfies and just pictures of my travels, scenery. I hate pictures of myself so I wouldn't be attracting creeps anyways. I did have IG when I was in Gr. 9 and I would post selfies and group pictures because the other girls did it. But, I felt kind of weird about it and that I was doing it for other people and to fit in.

This time, I'm posting things that I want to remember as memories for myself. I don't think social media is really necessary but it is a useful tool to connect with others. My parents don't post any pictures of our family online but instead, print the photos out and put them in an album or in picture frames.

Just remember, are you doing it to show off, or do you genuinely want to share special moments with your friends and family? Unfortunately, most girls and guys will do it for attention and narcissism is more valued sadly. My FB only has people that I genuinely like as friends, but my IG can have whoever.

Small-Button-2308 · 2021-07-19T12:27:18+00:00

I just had a similar issue. I met someone recently in my apartment complex (19F) I am (25F) we were very friendly to each other. So she asked me my Snapchat, I said I don’t use it anymore but I can give you my phone number in the meantime, then later send her my Snapchat username, because I don’t remember it right now. She then asked me for my age, then when I said 25, she acted disappointed and said, I thought you’d be at most 21 -22. I said thanks! And asked for her phone number. She gave it to me. I texted her my name and Snapchat username after 5 mns when I arrived home. But I never heard back from her since. I am not sure if it’s because she thinks I am too old to be her friend. Or if it’s because I don’t use social media. But it hurt me a little...

OkraGarden · 2021-07-19T02:00:02+00:00

If it's causing stress and unhappiness in your life, it's best to avoid it. You could also just be more selective about which platforms you use. I deleted my facebook account two years ago because keeping up with friends didn't offset the negative impact it had on my life, but Reddit has been a much more positive experience. I also enjoy MeWe even though fewer people I know use it.

Whatever you decide to do, make sure you have your friends' phone numbers and email addresses so you're never stuck only being able to contact them through social media. It makes it easier to leave platforms if you ever need to. If you put effort into texting and meeting up offline it could reduce how much you need social media in your life to connect with people. People who really want to be in your life will respond to it and not just insist on social media.

Many people I know keep their facebook and instagram pages but put nothing on it, they just use it to talk to other people. It helps with the privacy concerns.

banalchenal · 2021-07-19T03:51:27+00:00

it's possible to have an account on these platforms without being engrossed in it. if i were you i'd make a private instagram account that can be used to keep in touch with friends. it doesn't need to be full of selfies, but just having the account active means that you will not be excluded from normal teenage socializing.

JadedByEntropy · 2021-07-19T03:36:16+00:00

I tried the "have it but dont use it" approach and that seems to work best, especially when you still see these people and "have to" "keep up" with conversations about what they posted. Or vital info is being blasted out and you miss it all.

When I went off to college things changed. All those people dropped me. And I felt even more lonely because the people I was following were not even my friends. Like you said, noone called or texted. Noone kept up with me. I started posting actual content just to update family. After graduation I realized the only people on my accounts were family, and I had stopped talking to them in real life because I couldn't update them on anything they hadn't "liked" online.

I agree to have a blank account for the info and group dynamics. I disagree entirely that it is social at all or helpful for making actual friends.

The friends I do have all text me, or email, but thats just long-form texting or sharing links.

DrBoby · 2021-07-19T05:06:12+00:00

Same struggle than you. What I do is I'm signed up on all social medias, I use them to send messages only, like texts on my phone. No pictures and nothing else.

It's like I have 5 text message applications. It's really idiot but people have their habits

littlemissunset · 2021-07-19T07:03:34+00:00

Could you just get messenger without a Facebook account? I deactivated mine. Make a really basic one i.e no photos or anything. I don't have the Facebook app and I find it's helpful for limiting the amount of time I spend on it. (I'm 22 and trust me social media is even more of a thing in university so I'd say having at least messenger is a good thing)

StoopidISFJwastaken · 2021-07-19T10:43:11+00:00

Social media is what you make of it. I got bored of the "showing off your life" kinda vibe that instagram had. Now I just use it to scroll through memes. There aren't any posts on my profile and sometimes, I share some funny memes on my story. I can stay in touch with most of my friends and not worry about having to participate in fake shit.

Latter_Ad_6840 · 2021-07-19T11:36:23+00:00

I think social media is mentally unhealthy at that age unless it's used to communicate with friends. But I agree it's hard to plan group activities and such without it, maybe you can make like a temporary account for that without any pictures or something if need be.

At 17 focusing on social media is just such a waste of time, we didn't have that and I think it made me better off not having to worry about it. Letting only emotionally healthy people talk to you without distractions is actually really great. Social media also rewires your brain to seek validation apparently so getting used to that/growing dependent on it is not good so I applaud you for resisting.

This is funny because I made a post about social media but I am a bit older and already settled in my life kind of so I use it as a tool to reconnect with people who have scattered after school and my different workplaces and share my art. It is a form of self-marketing in a way, but it's just so much more worthwhile to work on yourself without that distraction. You will always have the option to create one later.

Salt_Essay_1370 · 2021-07-19T10:21:01+00:00

I deleted mine last year for like 6 months and it shows you a lot about who’s really there for you etc to an extent- I don’t like being accessible to everyone and everything so when I got back on I ghost for long periods of time and try to l’aimait my time on it I became strategic with the apps I used so I’m not so consumed by ppls opinions life etc - do whatever works for you - but I realise I do get a certain level of respect when I tell ppl I don’t have social media especially in our generation 😂 I’m 18

PhaedrusHunt · 2021-07-19T02:07:25+00:00

Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.

The fact of the matter is social media is designed to be addictive. FB was started by an OG incel to rate women that he had no chance with. It's morphed into a data harvesting behemoth that tracks, predicts, and molds your behavior to sell the data and make money for mega corporations.

Don't give into the pressure. Use wisely.

Stick to Linked In. That's the one that makes sense. It's not for fun, it's for you to grow, make business and professional connections, and make yourself money.

If you're not making money via social media, then social media is making money via YOU.

Save your privacy and your mind.

IHaveSalesQuestions · 2021-07-19T05:35:17+00:00

As a father to a daughter I’d tell you what I’d tell her. You answered your own question. If you don’t like the way ANYTHING makes you feel, don’t do it…ever. And I mean ever. Unless it’s driven by fear. Do that then.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to listen to that feeling inside of you. That’s your intuition. Let it guide you.

Tanman55555 · 2021-07-19T02:35:38+00:00

Keep social media to stay connected but dont use it lol social media is nonsense

CountTheBees · 2021-07-19T03:09:52+00:00

Why should you join a platform you dislike only to keep up with people you'd otherwise not even talk to?

If you have no special connection in the first 15 minutes, it's not worth wasting more time on them.

Itmfl2000 · 2021-07-19T05:02:02+00:00

Don't do it. But substitute it with a very active social life. From a man's perspective, it's a massive green flag. You don't make yourself easily accessible to low effort men sliding in your direct message. Going out and being active you can accurately gauge a man's social value easier compared to social media. Quality over quantity.

sparklesandsmiles · 2021-07-19T04:05:07+00:00

I'm 18, so ig we are sort of in the same page, and I deleted all my social media like a month ago, and my reason was social media is just overall so toxic, the posts, people, hate comments. And also the fact that it's so time consuming, I'd rather focus on improving myself rather then watching others life. It's been way more peaceful without any social media to be very honest.

But if you feel you are inaccessible, but actually you are not, you have your number, I have friends who asked me for my number after I deleted my account, but it's best to stay out of social media in my experience.

Inside_Ad_7292 · 2021-07-19T04:41:32+00:00

No I don’t think it’s necessary, and if anyone says differently, they’re wrong. Humanity has survived millions upon millions of years without social media, and just because it’s ubiquitous now does not change anything. If someone doesn’t want to call or text you, or even actually meet up to hang out, then whatever. Don’t need ‘em. You need one maybe two really good friends, a spouse whenever that becomes available to you, and family. That’s all you need. Anything else is icing on the cake. So if you don’t like how it makes you feel, don’t use it.

SamathaStevens · 2021-07-19T06:48:14+00:00

I don't think it is necessary. I don't have social media for exactly the reasons you listed. I am starting to also feel that way about reddit, I do enjoy some parts of it but in general I don't like the way I feel after being on here. I am deciding if I need to edit my subs or just delete my account.

liquidswan · 2021-07-19T07:56:16+00:00

Social media is bad. Every minute you spend on it is a loss of that minute, but every minute you spend on real relationships and friendships is an investment in both yourself and others and therefore is always guaranteed to double your investment. The choice is therefore obvious. Best wishes.

WhatRemainsAfter · 2021-07-19T10:24:43+00:00

No, It is not.

Focus on improving other aspects of your life. You will be surprised how much your social game will improve by not being behind the screen all the time.

Rest easy. Don't need more sheep in the herd. spends 12 hours looking at the screen.

Rest easy. Don't need more sheep in herd.

Good luck. ;)

AnotherRichard827379 · 2021-07-19T02:09:36+00:00

Definitely leave it alone. It’s pretty attractive to me when I find out a girl—like myself— doesn’t have social media, especially snap chat.

acgs1995 · 2021-07-21T05:04:27+00:00

After I met my husband, I deleted all my social media. I only have reddit, whatsapp and a religious instagram, but it isn’t personal. I’m very against it, because it is built in illusions.

Texting or calling feels more intimate and have more value, besides being a private thing. Many HVM don’t approve of women who over use social media. It seems to rub them the wrong way.

pinkdrawings · 2021-07-19T23:33:06+00:00

Social media isn't necessary, no. If you want it , though, just be careful to follow more artsy stuff or fun stuff. Nothing that will crush your self esteem. You're 17 so many men may just see that as their form of communication, but definitely don't if you're uncomfortable with it.

Snapchat, especially, is a no.

Title	Social media?
Author	righthand_
Upvotes	31
Comments	63
Date	July 19, 2021 1:48 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/on4brz/social_media/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/social-media.793241 https://theredarchive.com/post/793241

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