Trigger warning: Men really do cherish a flat stomach

LivelyLychee · 2023-03-22T16:48:58+00:00

OP, personal preferences are not advice. We generally are quite aware that it’s in women’s best interest to be slim and fit here, but your experience with ONE man you just started dating isn’t enough to be advice for everyone. This would have been okay as a field report about your experience but it is unnecessary otherwise. Post is removed.

buni223 · 2023-03-22T15:27:06+00:00

Those that are commenting “OP is saying something most women don’t want to admit/hear” are obviously not aware of the ways in which people project their eating disorders online in seemingly innocent ways, and it really shows lol. OP, you have made posts in binge eating disorder subreddits. We both know an ED therapist would warn against making a post like this, ESPECIALLY so that others could read it. You know that women know a flat stomach has been the ideal for a long time, and I don’t feel like you came here with the best of intentions, whether or not you know this consciously.

Also two things:

5lb is not not enough to make your stomach flat unless you’re already close to being underweight, and it certainly isn’t enough to show muscle definition in your arms. I don’t believe you’re being honest about the number, but your boyfriend is negging you in harmful ways given your issue.
The waist-to-hip ratio ideal being posted has more to do with skeletal structure than fat disposition. You can be very thin, medium, or a bit bigger built and have this body type PROPORTIONALLY to the standard measurements, and still be in the ideal for different men because you’d fall into the .7 ratio range.

More over, what women mean when they say “flat stomach” is often different from what men mean, in my experience. The ideal body fat percentage for women is 20–33%; at the lower range, even with those body measurements, you still won’t have an entirely flat stomach, and this is normal and good because most of us aren’t bodybuilders or underweight. 5 pounds is a perfect example of the difference between someone like OP’s idea of a flat stomach and what most men actually mean.

For anyone who’s saying that the pushback is all cope and snark, I (cautiously) encourage you to visit ED forums so you can see for yourself what thinly-veiled ED-hinting/humblebragging/body checking posts actually look like lmao (ex: I saw OP say that most women don’t already know this like girl please 😭). Those of us who know better can see it from a mile away. It freaks me out how this is in this sub, it literally infects everything. So it really doesn’t have to do with the fact that men like flatter stomachs (who doesn’t?), it’s who the message is coming from and the intent behind it.

_angeoudemon_ · 2023-03-22T05:34:41+00:00

Yep. 100% true. Where I come from it’s considered a sign of respect to keep yourself fit and healthy for your spouse. My sister and her husband let each other know when they’re getting a little “fluffy”. Not just a man thing. It’s a respect thing for a person you love. :)

Agreeable-Comedian24 · 2023-03-22T12:30:56+00:00

Something felt odd about this, especially the ‘trigger warning’ so I glanced at your post history and there they were, the posts in eating disorder subs. Yes everyone wants a healthy fit partner. But that means different things to different people. Some men prefer a curvy or thick woman and some don’t. Either way is okay. Perpetuating the idea a woman must have a flat stomach isn’t helpful to anyone. Don’t let your weight or flatness of your stomach define you.

It’s also odd that were single a couple of months ago but now have a boyfriend who said you don’t have to work. Be careful with that. Being thin will get you in the door but your personality is what keeps you there.

RubyWooToo · 2023-03-22T12:53:29+00:00

Your boyfriend of 1 month’s preferences don’t count as advice.

kittenegg25 · 2023-03-22T16:50:44+00:00

As a pregnant woman with a husband who is obsessed with my belly, I disagree.

Subject_Community995 · 2023-03-22T05:31:02+00:00

Good for you, I guess. Everyone already knows it tho haha

Wife_and_Mama · 2023-03-22T11:27:06+00:00

This doesn't make me mad. It's common knowledge that men like fit women. I've also been morbidly obese and will never claim weight doesn't matter in regards to every faucet of life, from health to dating. I do think your boyfriend has been negging you by grabbing your stomach silently. It's up to you whether or not that bothers you, but I'd have never allowed a man to do that whether he "cherishes" a flat stomach or not. I cherish height. That doesn't mean I pat my husband on the head for being 5'8", because it's rude.

In addition to having been massively overweight in my early twenties, I've had three kids in two years. While I plan to have a tummy tuck when I'm sure I'm done, I will never get a naturally flat stomach any more than my husband will grow two inches. Still, he likes my hair and my legs. I love his arms and shoulders. We both try to eat right and work out, doing the best we can. I'm literally typing this on my elliptical. People are flawed and pointing out someone's minor physical flaws is an ugly thing to do in a relationship (edit: especially one that's only a month old).

Such_Beginning_1629 · 2023-03-22T07:31:34+00:00

I used hormonal birth control. The first was ok, I had no appetite and lost weight. But my Hair fell out in bundles. I switched. Next one one gave me nausea, made me irritated. I switched again. I felt great, but gained weight and stored water. Making me feel horrible about my body. But I was mentally healthy. It was not until I came across the copper ball that I switched to non-hormonal. BC. 3 years out and my cycle is just now stabilizing. As is my weight and psyche. I feel beautiful and content. My Stomach is there. I keep fit but I know it will not go away. My SO knows it. He might like it or not, never again will I succumb to the mental turmoil of HBC

princess_mothra · 2023-03-22T14:08:57+00:00

Honestly I’m not sure why the mods are leaving this post up. Everyone already knows being skinny is many men’s preferences and someone’s partner’s preference is not advice for us.

bunnytryingreddit · 2023-03-22T09:30:29+00:00

New title proposal

Trigger warning: My man really cherishes a flat stomach. Now I'm gonna make a generalization out of it.

P.S. I saw your posting history and that you posted you can't find a partner a month ago. If your bf makes this type of remarks less than a month into the relationship, I seriously have doubts whether this is healthy.

youllknowwhenitstime · 2023-03-22T07:08:20+00:00

Yep, definitely a thing. I had weak core muscles and a bit of a protruding "pouch" because of it despite being skinny when we married. He never told me until AFTER I had started going to the gym with him, and toned up my abs and gotten a flat stomach for the first time ever, that he very much noticed the change!

In case it helps anyone, it was weighted hyper-extensions and the leg press machine that seemed to do it for me. I put on 3-5 pounds, presumably of muscle, so it was definitely not weight loss. (I've had a completely steady weight all my adult life.)

Now, in a very DIFFERENT scenario: a lot of guys (my husband included) REALLY love their wife's pregnant belly. I think most stories of attraction loss during pregnancy are cases where the woman was already overweight, is not following the weight gain/loss recommendations for being overweight in pregnancy, and the belly is going to look "fat" instead of "pregnant" most of the pregnancy.

angelicasinensis · 2023-03-22T14:27:29+00:00

I try not to ascribe to the "all men want one thing" deal. I personally do have a flat stomach, even after having 3 kids BUT I also have a flat chest and a mostly flat butt, it comes with the territory of having a tiny frame and a fast metabolism. We all have nice things about our bodies and things that maybe we do not love. No one is perfect. Also, not all men like the same things. My husband was obsessed with my pregnant body when I was actually curvy, I also loved it!

jenna_grows · 2023-03-22T13:23:30+00:00

This is true. Women who are naturally petite often forget this.

I take my body for granted. I look amazing for someone who eats what they want and doesn’t work out. But I could be way more attractive if I just put the effort in.

I do, however, want to change for my health more than my aesthetic.

BasuraIncognito · 2023-03-22T11:01:36+00:00

I call my husband a “chubby chaser” because he seems to like me a lot more curvier than I like for myself. I’m the one that pushes for muscle definition and working out hard every day while he tells me to just relax.

LiftsLinage · 2023-03-22T07:24:56+00:00

I think that this kind of applies to everyone. The hardest part about picking up a couple of kilograms is knowing your partner has to deal with it as much as you do.

Good for you though. It feels great when you're in a place where you're happy with your body.

rose_auden · 2023-03-22T08:52:01+00:00

depends on the boyfriend. mine begs me not to work out too much so he has something to squeeze:)

ThrowltAw4y · 2023-03-22T10:50:03+00:00

I think there are a lot of man who like this, but also a lot that dont care really. As long as it is not too much. For me a women is something soft and not trained. Boobs are more important

RagAndBows · 2023-03-22T16:07:31+00:00

Yes, they absolutely do.

Eric-Ridenour · 2023-03-22T05:17:59+00:00

I can’t answer for all but I would say that applies to most people. Do you want your husband with a big ass belly so he can’t even see his junk? But for me, it’s more a health and fitness thing more than anything. I go to the gym and try to stay in shape. My wife does the same. I’ve also dated an overweight woman who would not move much and would eat like half a pizza with extra cheese etc and it was just gross. Not necessarily the belly but the carelessness and not even trying. Yeah it’s all triggering to not praise fat lazy people as stunning and brave but it has to be said. It’s not awesome. It’s not healthy. There is nothing wrong with a little bit of extra weight. But there is something wrong with sitting on the couch all day watching tv and drinking soda chomping on junk food.

kuromelomi · 2023-03-22T09:42:50+00:00

This is what sucks about knowing I was at this point when we got together and now my stomach is all kinds of odd after having my daughter :/

shantapudding · 2023-03-22T16:27:34+00:00

While true, this is such a strange post. As someone who is 23, has had no children, and is nearly underweight (5’1 and a little under 100 lbs) my stomach isn’t even flat most of the time unless I have fasted (i.e in the mornings). This feels like OP is showing off because not every woman has a flat stomach due to children, hormones, etc and some might not feel so good about themselves after reading this post. It’s no different than someone posting about how men love an educated woman and it making other women who might not have a degree (because of circumstances) feel bad about themselves. I’m using this as an example because I’m assuming OP doesn’t have a degree based on the fact that they have a serving job.

photoman51 · 2023-03-22T09:37:45+00:00

I'm a professional Glamour photographer and I agree at least for modelling. I like woman who have some curves and a little bulge in. Stomache is fine with me

herzogin_eva · 2023-03-22T13:17:45+00:00

Meh, this is true for mainly Western and East Asian men. But go over to Africa or the Middle East and you'll find it's entirely the opposite.

People like what they like but a lot of it is cultural I find.

Expecting_The_Best · 2023-03-22T06:44:50+00:00

I broke up with a girl and it was because she was really big. My brother had gotten a bigger girl pregnant and I just never wanted that for myself. I mentioned it to her a few times, and even offered to get in the gym with her and get myself together. She declined. I broke up with her because I was looking for a longterm partner and I just couldn't see myself being with her proudly. I wouldn't feel right showing her to my family etc.

That was over ten years ago. Recently saw pictures of her and it almost made me cry to see how much bigger she got. I mean she was big then, but manageable and I really liked her huge breast which is probably what visually made me disregard her size because she carried it well back then. But now its just out of control.

I wonder what would have happened if I had been vigilant about her losing weight and been patient and trying different angles. She really was cute and a part of me feels like she would have been a great wife if she shaped up. But in the end I think I made the right choice and not try to change people, just see them for who the are.

90sbabyyy · 2023-03-22T12:04:02+00:00

It’s a personal preference. You’re dating a man that likes a flat stomach, that doesn’t speak for all men. Why is a body shaming post allowed, mods?

QtPieGrahamsCrust · 2023-03-22T14:49:19+00:00

Heavy women can have a flat stomach if she doesn't over eat.

AutoModerator · 2023-03-22T05:07:20+00:00

Title: Trigger warning: Men really do cherish a flat stomach

Full text: My boyfriend, who treats me like a princes, and does not allow me to pay for a thing has squeezed my stomach in the past and never complimented it but never said it was bad either. My stomach has always bothered me because it’s been close to being flat but not all the way there. I got a new job a couple weeks ago as a waitress at a very busy restaurant (he told me I didn’t have to work btw, but I wanted to do something besides sit at home all day) and I’ve dropped 5 pounds due to my walking and not eating as much due to fatigue. Now my stomach is practically flat and today he grabbed it and said “wow, nothing there, so amazing”. He also noticed my arms now have some definition due to me lifting heavy glasses and plates all day and was impressed by them too. I know this will make some women mad but I genuinely think most men desire a flat stomach and a fit woman overall, but they will never really say it due to backlash and fear of hurting their partners.

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Wahwahwee10 · 2023-03-22T06:20:09+00:00

And also men really do like tiny asses too

RedPillWomen-ModTeam · 2023-03-22T05:38:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Trigger warning: Men really do cherish a flat stomach
Author	spicytacosss
Upvotes	28
Comments	91
Date	March 22, 2023 5:07 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/11y7s30/trigger_warning_men_really_do_cherish_a_flat/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/trigger-warning-men-really-do-cherish-a-flat.1186750 https://theredarchive.com/post/1186750

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