"9 Months. 98 Men. Here's What I've Learned"

redpillbanana · 2014-07-03T15:30:54+00:00

Here is the screenshot of the article so we don't give anymore views to huffpost:

ReverendDexter · 2014-07-03T15:53:40+00:00

Sounds like bragplaining. "Oh, I went out with 98 guys in 3 months that each would take me to a fancy restaurant and then try to woo me with their riches and powerful connections; dating is so turrible I don't know why anyone does it! I just magically have wonderful fulfilling relationships that appear out of nowhere, why doesn't everyone just do that?"

trp165 · 2014-07-03T15:46:30+00:00

What's wrong with looking nice and presentable and being interesting on a date?

aguy01 · 2014-07-03T16:02:29+00:00

"I don't have 'game'"

No shit. You're a woman.

"I still prefer the old-school method of connection where I'm just doing my thing and happen to meet someone special."

Translation: I prefer when I can just live my life merrily and men will have to do all the work to chase after me.

ReturnThroughAether · 2014-07-03T15:43:17+00:00

I rail at the notion of being appealing, engaging and alluring

So what? You want to be some sloppy, insufferable fuckpig forever?

CrimsonCapsule · 2014-07-03T15:29:18+00:00

Of course she doesn't want to date! She wants serendipitous magic, where the forces of Fate send Mr. Right tangling a dog leash around her ankles at the local park.

This is why day game is so effective, BTW. That "it just happened" hamster gets kicked into overdrive.

LAMFF · 2014-07-03T15:24:39+00:00

Yuck. Please don't link to Huffpo. Copy and paste the article or take a screen shot. The author of this pithy drivel doesn't deserve the spike in traffic generated by our curious outrage. Btw, 98 men in 9 months is probably the closest thing to accurate number for how many men that women actually see over short periods of time because it's just that easy.

We_Are_Legion · 2014-07-03T15:57:05+00:00

Hmm...

The dating experience is tedious on every level. The need to dress up, straighten my hair and wonder if I'm good enough feels like poison running through my veins. It reminds me of my summers at the Minnesota State Fair where I'd see local farmers parading their cows, pigs and horses in hopes of winning a Blue Ribbon.

Firstly, let me define my usage of the word "dating." I'm referring to the traditional meaning -- that of "courtship." Dating has now been construed to mean sexual hook-ups. I didn't sleep with 98 men. 98 men courted me.

I ate my way through every restaurant in Manhattan and spent far more time in Starbucks than any human who has their own WiFi. No less than three times a week I'd put on the same outfit (perhaps a little half-hearted on my part) and meet a new man for dinner or coffee. I sat. I listened. I ate. I drank.

How awful. I feel for you.

This is like the non-journalistic cliché version of Marie Antoinette making light of the commoners. 98 of which just finished being used... giving her their all... for nothing in return. Along with their best sincere efforts made a mockery of.

She had 98 men bear the cost(possibly many thousands of dollars by the description) of her social experiment.

Why are we giving this humblebrag so many page views? Its obvious despite her annoyed tone she loves the attention.

In fact, the only thing of merit I find in this whole "article" is this part:

Men name-drop their friendships with celebrities and clarify their numerous positions of power and influence. They rattle off their trips in foreign cities, identify their cars by the manufacturer's name and list their homes by prestigious locations. They dangle their toys in front our eyes in the hopes that we'll bite the bait. Oddly, they're not the bait. Their possessions are the bait.

In the midst of their parade of toys, men yearn to see our eyes dilate with interest. They wait to hear the, "Ooohhhh, really?" And they too, hope they'll be worthy of our acceptance. This is why I hate dating. Now that I've done it, I'm even more certain I was correct in not doing it in the first place.

Even if you have the bling of Elliot Rodgers, and a 8/10 body, if you don't know how to play your value... if you're still begging for attention, you're not much different from your average nice guy... slightly better perhaps... but you're still a creeper to most women.

Without a bit of game, even with money, you can be still be a pretentious loser, like these 98 chumps. The kind she knows at some level to use, and discard.

Think of it this way; a woman's vagina can't look at your bank account to measure if you're actually worth getting tingles for. It can look at your behaviours though, some of the more attractive of which may be enabled by large bank accounts. Completely dependent on its instinctual perception of you, the vagina plays the odds, and labels you beta anyway. At some level, its right... You may have a case of shit genes and great luck.

Being an alpha-looking loser... may well be better for your interests than being a beta-looking winner.

At least that way, her sons may inherit personalities worth having.

iluminatiNYC · 2014-07-03T15:22:34+00:00

[permanently deleted]

aguy01 · 2014-07-03T19:17:17+00:00

Her bio says she is a "relationship expert". Lol.

kanaduhisfruityeh · 2014-07-03T21:14:53+00:00

This is why prostitution is illegal. I'd rather pay a hooker if it cost less money than blowing money on a date with a woman who wasn't going to have sex with me. At least a hooker would get to the point.

30303030303030 · 2014-07-03T15:35:54+00:00

jesus christ. 98 men in 9 months? and she's a fucking old hag? holy fuck.

exit_sandman · 2014-07-03T16:10:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

intrcept · 2014-07-03T16:10:17+00:00

This woman is fooling herself if she thinks that meeting someone organically (rather than through online dating) is any different in terms of how each person advertises themselves to the other person in the hope that they will find them attractive, interesting, and worthy of acceptance.

And judging from her closing paragraph, she's single, lonely, and losing hope but is desperately trying to convince herself that she doesn't care, in overly-dramatic fashion.

2014-07-03T19:54:17+00:00

Ha wow this really is trash. A mess of barely concealed boasting ('I went out with every half decent man that asked me - which btw was 3 times a week) and entitled whining.

Yes darling it's awful isn't it, feeling like you have to make the slightest effort to find romance. It should just fall into your lap. Your day should just be filled with a procession of meet-cutes like you're in fucking Love Actually. You should never have to work for anything, 'being yourself' should be enough to get everything you want.

culofiesta · 2014-07-03T15:33:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

redpillschool · 2014-07-03T17:37:14+00:00

She teaches the art of flirting in order to capture a man's attention. I don't want art. I want to meet a man organically in an environment where I can be myself and interact naturally.

I don't want to do something to attract somebody, I want it to happen to me.

But I know who I am. I love easily and effortlessly.

Just not to the 100 guys I just got free dinners off of. None of them are any good. But really, I'm very easy to get along with. Why didn't those guys impress me? Oh, something wrong with those guys.

So, while I've satisfied my friends and family with giving dating a fair shot,

If you think going out with men like an addict chain smokes is giving "dating a fair shot" I got news for you...

I still prefer the old-school method of connection where I'm just doing my thing and happen to meet someone special. Whether walking my dog or at the gym, I'm where I want to be while living the life I love. And we meet. Naturally. Organically. The spark we find serves as our connection. We merge.

She just wants it to happen to her. It has to be magic.

Imagine the guy's version of this:

7 Dates in 9 Months, here's what I learned.

Women are superficial and don't seem to like me for who I am. I just want to meet somebody organically, but, it took all my energy just to get less than 1 date a month, I don't think I'll even meet a woman if I stop trying.

monsieurhire2 · 2014-07-03T16:03:47+00:00

"Men parade their toys while women serve as the cows, pigs and horses parading for our Blue Ribbon of acceptance. Men name-drop their friendships with celebrities and clarify their numerous positions of power and influence. They rattle off their trips in foreign cities, identify their cars by the manufacturer's name and list their homes by prestigious locations. They dangle their toys in front our eyes in the hopes that we'll bite the bait. Oddly, they're not the bait. Their possessions are the bait.

In the midst of their parade of toys, men yearn to see our eyes dilate with interest. They wait to hear the, "Ooohhhh, really?" And they too, hope they'll be worthy of our acceptance. This is why I hate dating. "

So . . . she only went on dates with "agreeable" men? Sounds more like she only went on dates with rich beta providers who also happen to have NO GAME!

Seriously. Who the fuck talks about all that shit trying to impress someone? Nothing says low value like rattling off a list of accomplishments. Perhaps actually going out on "dates" is a form of selection, where guys dumb enough to agree to going on a date are so bluepill that they repulse their prospects. She's definitely stumbled on TRP truth, but she completely misinterprets it, although she does point out that men are lured into wasting money in restaurants. Clearly she had no trouble accepting all the free meals.

captainramen · 2014-07-03T15:58:29+00:00

[permanently deleted]

bluemyselfearly19 · 2014-07-03T18:33:41+00:00

Thirstiness, thirstiness everywhere!

SillyAmerican · 2014-07-03T18:45:55+00:00

Irrelevant to anyone under 30 honestly. I dunno how everyone else is doing it, but 'dating' doesnt happen so much when your young. You meet, you hang out, and if it clicks it clicks. Speed dating in 98 months with a predisposition to not liking it flaws this already dumb ass experiment. NEXT!

_Action_Bastard · 2014-07-03T20:09:50+00:00

Why do I read shit like this? I know it is going to upset me...but I do it anyway. She ate through Manhattan on someone else's dime. She is on the same level as a prostitute. Of course a guy who is taking you out on a date is going to peacock and be excited. What guy wouldnt be? These types of women are terrible.

diablomalambero · 2014-07-03T21:31:04+00:00

A relationship expert. So how do you qualify a standard for what determines what a relationship expert is? There is no set objective standard for this so anyone, ANYONE can be a relationship expert. If she is a relationship expert why is she struggling with relationships? I wouldn't take nutritional advice from the morbidly obese, so why is someone who is a failure at relationships considered a relationship expert? Relationship expert, how does one become that? Shallow, hollow, vapid, and intellectually bankrupt, that pretty much sums this up.

intrcept · 2014-07-03T21:24:25+00:00

How much false flirting and leading-on did it take for that chick to be asked out 98 times?

You realize that at least 50 guys got friendzoned out of all this, not realizing that this chick only wanted to get free food and sell a freelance article.

leftajar · 2014-07-04T03:55:00+00:00

What a useless fucking article.

The title implies that she fucked those guys, which makes it effective clickbait. Then, she makes you skim all the way to the 7th paragraph to find out she just went on actual, boring dates. By that point, hopefully you're so invested you'll just keep reading.

The entire article is complaining. First, that she doesn't like to present her best. Second, that all men do is roll out their resume's to her.

What she DOESN'T SAY:

First, It's New Fucking York. Of course guys are going to brag about being successful; that's why they live there.

Second, she's massively over the hill. Way past the wall. She "just wants the right man," but for her that train left the station 15 years ago.

I can't believe this passes for journalism. Huffpost is a steaming pile of guano.

El_Shakiel · 2014-07-03T16:12:45+00:00

High-heeled women flaunt the sex card as they savagely stampede each other for a man's attention.

Such world EXISTS ?? Have I been lied to all my life ??!!

Running with the bulls in Pamplona has never been on my bucket list

It's been on mine, I did it 3 years ago. 10/10 highly recommend. Plus, easy threesome with drunken 8s French girls from Bayonne. Epic shit.

scrubzor · 2014-07-03T15:58:16+00:00

98 men and not one of them good enough for a relationship? Sounds to me like she went on 98 dates with copy cat versions of the same guy. Arrogant materialistic rich guys. She seems to say that she's not impressed by those material possessions... yet she keeps going on dates with those types of guys. Maybe she should head out to Williamsburg where people focus on their poetry and drink PBR instead of gin and tonics.

thesaltysoup · 2014-07-03T17:10:54+00:00

Well, she sounds just a wee bit bitter. Then again, after 98 dates in 270 days (around one date every three days) may get old. Imagine having a date every three days...at some point spinning all those plates (assuming that it is not 98 individual women) would become a bit of a chore.

However, we are limited only by our imaginations as far as coming up with dates is concerned. Art museum? Walk in Koreatown? Make pancakes at your house? Totally up to you. As roosh says, we are the entertainers- the clowns. We have to put on a show to attract girls, and the same old song and dance of expensive restaurants and Starbucks gets boring. My guess is that some of these guys didn't spice it up enough for her...anyways.

DanG3 · 2014-07-03T23:40:03+00:00

With an attitude like that she had better pray 98 other men ask her out.

Mikesapien · 2014-07-03T17:09:07+00:00

I hate dating. There. I've said it. Let's be clear about the mechanics of this concept. Dating is only a flirtatious first sniff of what may later be mounted.

And how much "mounting" isn't being reported, I wonder. 98 men in 9 months is quite the carousel ride. Even 10% of that is big numbers.

draketton · 2014-07-04T01:54:35+00:00

Damn these paragraphs are on point.

Firstly, let me define my usage of the word "dating." I'm referring to the traditional meaning -- that of "courtship." Dating has now been construed to mean sexual hook-ups. I didn't sleep with 98 men. 98 men courted me.

I ate my way through every restaurant in Manhattan and spent far more time in Starbucks than any human who has their own WiFi. No less than three times a week I'd put on the same outfit (perhaps a little half-hearted on my part) and meet a new man for dinner or coffee. I sat. I listened. I ate. I drank.

At the end of my social experiment, here's what I learned. Men parade their toys while women serve as the cows, pigs and horses parading for our Blue Ribbon of acceptance. Men name-drop their friendships with celebrities and clarify their numerous positions of power and influence. They rattle off their trips in foreign cities, identify their cars by the manufacturer's name and list their homes by prestigious locations. They dangle their toys in front our eyes in the hopes that we'll bite the bait. Oddly, they're not the bait. Their possessions are the bait.

In the midst of their parade of toys, men yearn to see our eyes dilate with interest. They wait to hear the, "Ooohhhh, really?" And they too, hope they'll be worthy of our acceptance. This is why I hate dating. Now that I've done it, I'm even more certain I was correct in not doing it in the first place.

Three very valuable lessons here.

1) Money isn't the key to a woman's heart. If flaunting money gets you anywhere with a woman, she sees you as a meal ticket, not a soulmate or even a fun sexual partner.

2) You have to show status. Talking about it over a beer is boring. It also makes whoever you're talking to start considering if you're a liar. If you have social connections, positions of power, what have you, that you want to show off to a girl, the only way to do it is to physically bring the girl in front of whoever or whatever you want her to see.

3) Eye dilation is the ultimate IOI.

Mightaswellmakeone · 2014-07-04T18:39:31+00:00

This article has great advice.

Don't be a rigid person, trying to impress people, while sitting in one spot for too long if you want to connect with some one at a meaningful level.

There was a lot of fluff where the writer was trying to act cool by being aloof. Maybe it was true about this person, maybe it wasn't. But, it's just a round about way to give good dating advice.

Kellermann · 2014-07-04T20:03:18+00:00

She seems like a cool lass

nyrp · 2014-07-06T11:29:35+00:00

Made the mistake of getting one paragraph deep into another article of hers:

I must make this admission: I’m lazy lover. I apply no energy whatsoever to creating a love life. Why any man would seek my company at this juncture in my life is a complete mystery to me. I lack all desire to be receptive to a man’s advances and give no hint of interest. My attitude of laziness is compounded beyond its formal definition, as I have neither guilt nor remorse for my current state of affairs.

iseetrolledpeople · 2014-07-03T18:21:01+00:00

In 9 months I've learned that I like the dick soo much. Like 2 times a day much.

Miamiheat87 · 2014-07-04T04:00:01+00:00

I understand the hate. But she does make a good point about dates if you interpret it correctly... Dinner, coffee, telling her about your cars and travels all suck.

Now motorcycle ride and go karts, that's fun for both. At least for me anyway.

BustaHymes · 2014-07-03T18:02:06+00:00

pls TW all Huffpoz articles to prevent the spread of AIDS

MistahGustitues · 2014-07-03T22:32:23+00:00

I don't understand why there are so many negative comments to this.

She seems to have given honest, thoughtful commentary to the pageantry of dating. Especially the part about how it really it just a show for men, too, I agree.

So, what gives?

StillRedder · 2014-07-03T17:16:05+00:00

I haven't read her other stuff, so maybe there's a reason for the hate on her that I'm unaware of, but overall her article was decent and didn't reek of female entitlement.

It was, if any flaw is to be found, a bit on the naive side. She doesn't understand how dating works, and her social experiment doesn't really tell us much about dating, it tells us about her though. I understand her in a sense, I too preferred things to happen 'organically,' but in reality that is usually the shiny surface that hides the machinery behind the scenes. Dating is really just a more explicit way to go about it, and hard to avoid if social situations aren't available to permit potential mating pairs to spend time around each other.

She actually noticed some basic behaviours of human mating patterns, though I'll grant she seemed to lack an understanding of it. Just because (at least to her conscious mind) she is not attracted to possessions or social connections (and I do suspect some dishonesty with herself over this, but hey, I could be wrong about that) does not mean it is ineffective as a dating tactic - it gets used because it works, just like the "sex card" works, and she admits it.

Basically, she's mostly right, only a little wrong, and the article isn't bad at all.

The most interesting part for me was her description of what the men talked about. A lot of it was material or social proof but she also mentioned trips to foreign cities. So, I couldn't even talk about my travel experiences with her? That would cut out a lot of my more interesting stories lol. She actually doesn't leave much for men to talk about with her. Perhaps she would prefer if they talked about something they're passionate about - maybe how they totally raided Black Temple last night for the first time as a destro 'lock? I wonder if she would learn the meaning of 'be careful what you ask for.'

(Also... maybe these guys are just passionate about the quality possessions they get to enjoy the use of? Maybe living that version of the good life is spiritually fulfilling to them? I'd rather not judge.)

One more point... at least from that picture, sure she lacks the glow and smoothness of youth but she actually seems rather hot. I'd be willing to take her out and talk about fantasy role playing games with her. If you know what I mean.

johnnight · 2014-07-03T21:05:56+00:00

Has anyone read TFA? She did not fuck 98 guys, she went on 98 oldschool courtship dates.

Once I also subscribed to the "organically meeting a snowflake" fantasy, but at some point we have to realize that life is too short and we have to make this happen. Buy the goddamn lottery ticket instead of waiting for it to fall into your lap.

The men she described all have nothing but beta game.

ddundly · 2014-07-03T22:45:46+00:00

Dear god man, it's Huffington Post. The site that caters to vegans, global warming pundits, and "empowered" women. Oddly enough, those terms seem redundant...

Title	"9 Months. 98 Men. Here's What I've Learned"
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	69
Comments	116
Date	July 3, 2014 3:10 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/29qusl/9_months_98_men_heres_what_ive_learned/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/9-months-98-men-heres-what-ive-learned.229286 https://theredarchive.com/post/229286

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