Did my gf cheat?

JamesSkepp · 2023-11-03T18:39:41+00:00

Last night she went out with a coworker who is going through a divorce.

They both went out to get fucked.

to which was no response

She was having too much fun to be bothered with texting her bf.

see she’s at a house

Took a cab or an uber to that place couldn't take to yours?

Phone is off and goes straight to voice mail

Doesn't want you to interrupt her fun.

“I slept at my work friends house and we went to the bar. And I got too drunk and am gonna be late for work anyway. She just brought me home. It was an axe throwing bar because she just got divorced.”

Let's be realistic here. They spent entire night in that place alone doing shots and throwing axes - and didn't met any guys. A divorcee looking to get back to fucking around and a girlfriend that doesn't call her bf back and instead turns her phone off.

she did admit with a previous bf who was “abusive” that she slept with his best friend cause she hated the guy

No she didn't. Classic womanese bs "he was abusive so i cheated" when in fact she cheated first, he found out, confronted her and for her it was "abuse". Once a cheater always a cheater.

Too many coincidences.

She cheated or she intended to cheat - she knew VERY well that her friend was going out to find a dick to "celebrate" her divorce. Do you think she was going to sit there and watch her friend flirting left and right and not participate b/c she has a bf?

Your relationship was over way before that night, this is b/c it's the intent that matters b/c intent points to her lack of attraction toward you. Reflect on when her attitude changed. Less intimate, less eager, less affection, more distant, more on her phone than before. Reflect on what you still can improve about yourself, I'm guessing you're in decent shape so start with adjusting your attitude and beliefs.

She's going to lie - that won't work b/c she will add even more coincidences that will make the story even more unbelievable, so she's going to cry that won't work either, she cries b/c she got caught not b/c shes sorry even if she says so, so she's going to get angry at you and flip the script: you are the new "abuser" and she was right to fuck him - so make sure you record every moment of the breakup in case she does mattress girl spiel on you.

autoeroticassfxation · 2023-11-03T17:51:42+00:00

Trust your gut. You've got a billion years of evolution designed to give you emotions to guide you.

Let's say she didn't cheat, because we really don't know. She wasn't considering you at all, not keeping you informed and crashing at someone else's place. Personally I wouldn't be able to trust what she says after her behaviour. And lack of trust is reason enough to offer some consequences. I don't have room in my life for women that create stress and drama anymore, so I would start lining up other women.

Westwood_1 · 2023-11-03T18:05:10+00:00

Who knows? Who cares? Your trust for her is gone and that’s all that matters.

Someone who is committed to you wouldn’t just dip; wouldn’t ignore calls; wouldn’t stay somewhere sketchy without letting you know; would tell you specifics about who she was with and what she was doing, etc.

She’s giving explanations at the level of a middle-school girl who thinks she’s clever for vaguely saying she was out with “friends.” Axe throwing? Please. We both know that’s boring AF and expensive on a per-hour basis… She accounted for less than 2 hrs of a gone-all-night scenario.

If you really want to mess with her, cut her off without explanation. Don’t even let on that you know, and that she should know why. Just end it.

Or keep her as a plate and move her to the backburner.

Whatever you do, don’t give her too much time or thought. She’s not worth it.

BecomingABetterMan1 · 2023-11-03T17:50:21+00:00

Military girlfriends and wives are notoriously faithful so I'm sure you have nothing to worry about.

russianbot24 · 2023-11-03T17:59:17+00:00

Eh, maybe, probably. Can’t say for sure but there’s enough red flags here that you’d be justified in breaking up with her regardless.

1) She goes out to bars and blacks out while having a boyfriend, doesn’t respond to texts while out. 2) Has cheated on her ex in the past (with his best friend no less). 3) Stayed with a boyfriend who she claims to have hated that was abusive (history of toxic relationships).

I’d say just cut your losses.

Sendmeloveletters · 2023-11-03T19:26:55+00:00

She disrespected you and the relationship by not looping you in. And anyone here will tell you that if she’s going out with a recently divorced friend, your days are numbered anyway. I would say nip that shit in the bud but you missed your window when she went out. I would go to that house and see who lives there.

ExperientialDepth · 2023-11-03T20:53:00+00:00

While you serve our country during wartime, she services other men. Be free.

Anonymous-O · 2023-11-03T18:43:19+00:00

Is it confirmed that the rundown and decrepit place she was pinged at, is the friend's home? Might be another clue.

meanas9 · 2023-11-03T18:03:41+00:00

Just move on, if you don't feel comfortable because you don't trust someone then that's all you need to break up. If you think that your doubts are reasonable then don't hold yourself back. If you want a smoking gun to be absolutely sure, you know that there's none.

dbrockisdeadcmm · 2023-11-03T18:23:01+00:00

Ignore her for a week and do other shit. You'll probably find out more depending on how she reacts. She'll think you're disinterested because she ghosted you and didn't come home if that was the worst she did.

dankovz · 2023-11-03T18:20:41+00:00

Dude your gf should never have nights out without you, find someone better

r1bb1tTheFrog · 2023-11-03T19:00:23+00:00

Don’t do the bate text. Besides being very obvious, it also shows that you’re interested in her response.

TheZimboKing · 2023-11-03T20:49:42+00:00

A girl who loves you will wipe every iota of doubt away, without you asking.

But breaking up is not always the answer. Sometimes, its seeing how much you can get her to do for you on her way out the door.

sauceyzaddy · 2023-11-03T21:08:49+00:00

She definitely cheated. Cut your losses lol she isn’t worth it and hard ghost her. If she’s got a guy friend she’ll be closer to cheating. Always trust your gut. You should read some TRP books listed in the trpbooks subreddit.

RedPill_Sigma · 2023-11-03T23:14:41+00:00

TLDR:Short version: If you don't trust them, don't be with them.

Now the long version; Given that you even have suspicions, it's time to do some investigating on the low. Meaning you give her a long ass leash and pay the the fuck attention to every move she makes without ever reacting at all. You do this until you have peace of mind or until you decide to break up with her. Truth you don't have enough information, so I would urge to get more details not so much about the night in question but her habits in general. People always tell on themselves, especially women, that they just tend to do it in a more roundabout way. If she is cheating on you to Monkey Branch(holding on to you until she finds another relationship), details will eventually slip out, they tend to become careless as new fling continues. However, the tricky situation lies in if she just had a one night stand, if it's somebody she knows then eventually she will begin to slip up, but if it was rando you may never know and if she is smart she will never leave any actual evidence behind. Once again, you do not have enough information to make an informed decision. I will, however, say this if you are feeling neglected and/or disrespected, and it continues, she is more than likely pursuing other options. Good luck, bro!

Sir_Distic · 2023-11-04T00:48:16+00:00

If it was a female friend, why wouldn't she text you to let you know that she's ok? Simple answer. She would. But she didn't. Because it wasn't a female friend.

Walk away.

Huge_List285 · 2023-11-04T02:22:31+00:00

Ghost.

Don’t block, just never respond.

Nothing stings worse than silence.

Any discussion you have will be a waste of your time and lower your standing.

The best leverage in negotiation is the ability to walk away. Put on your boots bro - you got this.

If more men did this, over time respect might start to return.

ozzokiddo · 2023-11-04T04:02:12+00:00

Dude she admitted to you she’s a cheater. And your question is, do we think she’s cheating after staying at someone else’s house and turning her fucking phone off????!!!!! Respectfully bro you know wtf is going on, cut that shit and move on the quicker the easier it’ll be for you trust!!!!

Aubrey_D_Graham · 2023-11-03T19:02:54+00:00

Too many red flags. She couldn't be bothered to keep her phone on? You're not married to her, which is a legal obligation. Break up with her.

penny_can · 2023-11-03T23:26:19+00:00

The moment she decided to pull this stunt you began operating in her frame. No one buys the my phone died defense these days. There are chargers everywhere. Rather than bait text her perhaps your text should just state: " I think you are lying to me about what occurred the other night" and then just move on. No contact. You will have a difficult time re-establishing frame with her, if ever.

kvakerok · 2023-11-04T15:26:32+00:00

The rule of thumb is: you should never have to ask this question.

If you have to ask this question, just break up with her. Also, once a cheater - always a cheater.

On the second thought, you're so beta, you'll probably come up with some bullshit excuse to stay with her anyway, so don't bother.

Other-Locksmith9607 · 2023-11-03T19:16:20+00:00

throw the bait, and keep us informed.

gre2704 · 2023-11-03T20:24:32+00:00

Looks like a communist parade to me with all those red flags. I'd say the likelyhood she cheated is very high.

jxjkskkk · 2023-11-04T15:45:52+00:00

Honestly, it doesn’t matter. If you were convinced enough to swallow your pride and come to this sub of all places to genuinely ask, you already know what happened. Sac her and hit up one of the plates on the back burner. If you don’t have a backup (she did, the whole time), you fucked up. But that’s okay though - we all do sometimes. If you’re living the other RP principles still, get out there and spin some plates. If you’re not, hop over to the sidebar and relearn what you need to know then do the above. You’re clearly attractive enough to maintain something of an LTR so you shouldn’t need to worry about that.

Yeah it’s gonna be shit for a little while, but that’s a hell of a lot better than lying to yourself about some whore who you thought you knew (unicorn). You got this man. Good on you for seeking help from your brothers.

byteseed · 2023-11-04T19:36:51+00:00

> got drunk with a divorced coworker

Do I need to tell what kind of shit drunk girls do? It is a pussy without control.

> admitting to sleep with the best friend of her previous BF

> LTR

Being there. Done those mistakes. Break up is a good decision!

Why do you bring a low-quality woman to be your LTR? Independently of if she cheated on you or not, it is not going to work.

>Sending bait texts and other elaborate fuckery

Why do you bring low-quality women to be your LTR? Independently of whether she cheated on you or not, it is not going to work in the long term(one step to being the mother of your children, btw). In general, in a good relationship, you should not question your girl, because you trust her. And your girl is open and shares everything willingly, even when she cheated because she values you and your values, your trust. If it isn't there, there is no LTR. there is no LTR.

Young_migos · 2023-11-03T18:02:06+00:00

Sounds sus but you’ll never know 100%. maybe confront her if you really need to know, do it in person and try to read her out. This conversation in of itself may be detrimental to the relation ship so be careful or just keep fucking her. Is the red pill for people in relationships?

thetonybvd · 2023-11-03T18:40:19+00:00

My pov : she cheats, but you need proof to end-up things safely and walk away asap, and never talk to her ever again.

Last night she went out with a coworker who is going through a divorce

Bruh the alcohol and the bitter and frustrated single female friends who want to hookup to feel attractive : not a good mix

Phone is off and goes straight to voice mail

Crazy how phone is off when they meet other dudes to have fun with it

active duty army

Soldiers shouldn't be in relationships and just spinning plates, their wives/gfs always cheat

she did admit with a previous bf who was “abusive” that she slept with his best friend cause she hated the guy

The biggest red flag. You should walk away from a cheater with excuses. No abused person cheats and sleeps with the best friend as revenge. He wasn't probably abusive.

Make sure to record everything if you have an argument with her. You will be portrayed as the abusive guy if you decide to walk away.

So now makes sure to have proof before packing your things and gives her the silent treatment, ghosting and ignoring her foverer. Clean break up, record it, and stay calm by refusing any confrontation or heated argument. Don't give the reason of your break up, high risk of gaslighting and portraying you as the bad guy. Good luck.

She probably started to enjoy her single life before you enjoy yours.

pbar · 2023-11-03T20:35:08+00:00

Here's a flowchart that will allow you to figure out without fail if your partner is cheating.

Are you worried that your partner is cheating?==>Yes==>She is cheating.

Edit...Also: Are you worried that your partner is cheating?==>No==>She may be cheating

lanky32 · 2023-11-04T03:57:15+00:00

She is cheating.

100%.

Get your ass out of this relationship.

If you choose to stay, she will make you miserable. You will try to win her over, you will start doing weak, supplicating shit. She has taken someone else's, she isn't going to stop that.

Break-up with her, interact with more girls.

-ThePathIsTheGoal- · 2023-11-04T04:26:12+00:00

You did the right thing brother. Your gut instincts were telling you something and realistically, do you really want your LTR to be some bar-going chick who stays out all night at crack houses? Doesn’t exactly sound like a catch.

Good things await you with this new RP knowledge my friend.

TH3BUDDHA · 2023-11-04T14:31:52+00:00

It's irrelevant whether she did or not. You don't feel comfortable enough with her to trust her. So, you should move on.

AnonTheGreat01 · 2023-11-04T16:58:09+00:00

Maybe she did, maybe she didn't.

The problem is her behaviour, which, like you pointed out, is very sus.

A good girl isn't going to be going out w/ single friends, getting wasted, phone off, stay at another house, late for work in the morning etc. You should drop her as a gf just based on that behaviour, doesn't matter if she cheated or not.

McGrowler · 2023-11-04T17:47:32+00:00

If a woman’s best friend gets divorced she is 50% more likely to do so or in this case cheat on you.

Lake_Silent · 2023-11-07T04:21:04+00:00

She was out having the time of her life with Chad ignoring your calls, while you were at home worrying. Next her, hit the gym, and if she comes crawling back maybe get a BJ every once in awhile.

markakram · 2023-11-03T22:35:14+00:00

If she did before nothing s stoping jer for now Never ignore red flags...

Digital_Yar · 2023-11-04T16:59:44+00:00

It's impossible to know with certainty, but it doesn't matter. As a generale guideline, if you find yourself frequently fantasizing about ending a relationship, it's probably time to end that relationship.

That being said, the whole thing of being jealous and sending messages from your bedroom to someone who is out, spending brain power on designing a "bait" isn't good for you. By all means hold your partners to high standards, but never take the position of a passive-aggressive commenter of their actions. Direct, clear communication and a zero bullshit policy will put you in the top 80% of the dating world.

bluerubitineye · 2023-11-05T05:09:40+00:00

I got massive ptsd just from reading your description bro. Your gut ain't lying. run.

antariusz · 2023-11-05T10:36:01+00:00

Just for curiosity, looked up your past posts, is this the same Muslim girl that other dudes were buying 1000 dollar phones for while telling you “she yearns for someone to physically touch her”? This isn’t the first time she cheated on you… the red flags were 2 years ago.

And if it the same girl, you were stupid for staying with her, or naive as hell.

Narrow-Ad9985 · 2023-11-05T22:45:21+00:00

She cheated bro start going gym focus on yourself

SteveSan82 · 2023-11-06T05:18:55+00:00

Dump her . Adopt an abundance mindset.

rohit969 · 2023-11-06T10:04:54+00:00

Let me tell you something mate. You should definitely leave this woman rightaway because of her actions and on top of all this that woman is blaming her bf or ex or whatever to be abusive for her cheating which is plain bullshit. Cheaters who blame their partners for their cheating are nothing but classic cheaters and you should run away from such women. Cheating has nothing to do with the person who gets cheated on. The person who cheats is completely responsible for their cheating and if you come across any person who cheated in the past and blames their partner for their cheating is nothing but a classic cheater and you should always run away from such people.

Personally i cheated and my partner left but i never ever blamed my ex partner for my cheating acts that my partner was not enough or this or that or whatnot. My acts were completely my acts and it had nothing to do with my ex partner. So if you come across a person with values like me then go for that person and stay away from these classic cheaters lol 🤣.

hey2394 · 2023-11-08T20:49:45+00:00

At the end of the day, you really don't know if she did or not. However, the fact that she left you hanging like that considering the circumstances is more than a red flag. Here's a few things you could do:

With 0 judgement or emotion, place your boundary that you did not like what she did and explain to her why. If she gets super, super defensive, I would wager she either went with the intention of cheating or she did. I don't know how you set the expectations with your girl in terms of logistics when she's out. But my gf, for example, while she doesn't go out to get sloppy drunk, she sometimes hangs out at her friends's place or go out to eat and she tells me her whereabouts at all times without me badgering her. If you have the expectation in your relationship that she's gonna check in with you and she doesn't under those very suspicious circumstances, yeah, that's not a good sign.
Do you have some location tracking on her? I couldn't tell with your story but either way, keep an eye on her and don't feel guilty about snooping a little. There's an old saying in TRP: "Trust but verify." If your gut is telling you something's off, something's off.

Also, be aware that she cheated on her "abusive" boyfriend. Once a cheater, always a cheater, in my experience. I wouldn't say things are looking good for her but for your sake, keep yourself safe and check to see how trustworthy she is. Always trust your gut. Good luck, OP

James_Cruse · 2023-11-03T21:45:14+00:00

If she’s your actual committed girlfriend - then I would do abit of due dilligence before demoting her. If this is just a girl you’ve been dating - yes, she should just go to “sex-only” with no questions, based on her other behaviour.

It sounds like you want some closure and are curious about what happened.

Drive past the lot she was “staying at” - is it even possible it’s her friends place? Is it possible that place has poor reception for her phone.

Do you know this friend of hers she went out with - like have you met her before and could she be contacted casually to verify? You could always drop into the axe throwing place and ask the people working there if she was there and with who. That would certainly answer alot of questions within 20-30 mins.

Your level of effort here would depend on how deep you are into the relationship, like how many years and if you share assets or children, is she on the lease, etc. Like, is this girl going to take half your assets if you break up or is this going to be a messy breakup that you need to get yoir facts lined up prior.

There’s not alot of other backround details about your relationship with this woman - so it’s difficult to say what other behaviour has led to this point or if she’s just had an innocent night with a friend.

If she’s just a girl I’m dating and the woman couldn’t be contacted during that time AND her friend can’t be contacted and the lot she stayed looks like some guys house - I’d just ghost her at that point.

Even if she was trying to stay in a relationship with you - you’d think she’d make an effort to answer a call or text back at some point in the night rather than thinking it’s perfectly ok to go off grid with no contact. Is there so little level of care and respect for you that she couldn’t send a text back while getting very drunk.

It sounds either really callous or just like she’s so belligerent about your relationship or seriously clumsy about her phone. This could honestly go either way.

ethik · 2023-11-03T19:58:18+00:00

You could easily just not give a shit if she is or isn’t.

dubufeetfak · 2023-11-03T18:24:11+00:00

To me it doesnt sound sus cuz im imagining my woman. However you know her better, even if nothing happened the thought will grow on you and thats far from healthy. It will also leave a long term damage to future healthy relationships.

Imo just reevaluate your relationship. You got this bro

darlinBun · 2023-11-04T15:42:32+00:00

This screams incredibly insecure and that you don’t trust your partner. I am a woman, who enjoys going out sometimes with my single friends (I’m in a committed happy relationship). Perhaps she just went out to have some fun with her friend, why can’t you trust her answer unless she has given you some reason to not trust her. When you’re extremely drunk, as a woman, it can be safer to stay at your gal pals house, rather than getting a sketchy expensive Uber home.

Also, before you break it off with her, allow her the chance to explain the full story and think rationally about it all. Make sure you explain your feelings (insecurities) and why you feel the way you do.

Just read you have blocked her and broken it off with her. Well that’s your choice I suppose, I’m also struggling to grasp the full scenario here. You sound quite inexperienced and immature, sorry.

furoshus · 2023-11-03T19:29:01+00:00

Break it off. Lift, read the side bar, GFTOW... try again with some one new.

mister_k1 · 2023-11-03T20:24:23+00:00

allowing your women to go out with her male "friend" to a bar that friend would absolutely like to banger her and you wonder if she is being faithful?? especially a guy going through divorce...i mean you can make this shit up folks!

I know I have a solid case

bro if this isn't a solid case for cheating i don't know what it is!

Abrh7 · 2023-11-06T09:32:49+00:00

Srsly! I stopped reading when you mention that you gf was out with a "friend" or her "coworker" name it what ever you want!

jho101 · 2023-11-08T02:14:57+00:00

Dumpppp herrrrrr, your next will know.

spyman3000 · 2023-11-10T09:47:33+00:00

There's nothing here that really screams cheating, but I obviously don't have firsthand experience with your relationship so I don't really know the full context of why you're feeling this way. If you're pretty convinced that she's cheating due to other weird behaviors you've noticed then I'd go ahead and end it, but if it's just this then I'd say you're being dumb. Women have social lives just like you and me, and those social lives will often involve getting drinks with friends and staying at their houses, just like ours do. It really doesn't sound like a big deal and I think you're making too much of it, but again, if you have noticed other weird behaviors that are a contributing factor here then it's a different story.

Title	Did my gf cheat?
Author	Keepnitrealz
Upvotes	121
Comments	143
Date	November 3, 2023 5:32 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/17n0eev/did_my_gf_cheat/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/did-my-gf-cheat.1237274 https://theredarchive.com/post/1237274

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