Related article and image: This Guy's Dating Résumé Is So 2017 It Hurts

“She asked if I had a dating résumé that she could look at, and when I said no (like any normal person would) she told me no,” he told BuzzFeed. “So afterward I decided to make one, so if it ever came up again I could use it in my favor.”

Nothing dries panties quicker than being given a dating resume from a beta anyone!

Not to mention the below features:

  • Photo of yourself giving thumbs-up next to a Lama. Very masculine.
  • Telling girls you cry during kids movies. Just want she wants to cuddle with right?
  • Calling yourself a 'Dad in public'. Girls just love a white knight dad type huh?
  • "Looking to find a honey with a bitchin' family." He's in for the long haul.
  • Showing he's the king interweb with 1000+ followers on Twitter. Maybe he's good with his fingers? Doubtful.
  • "No Tinder. Because I don't objectify women for the sake of 'getting ass.'" Give up the nice guy act, pal.
  • Spends a significant amount of time "FaceTiming my mom." Mommy's boy alert! This is a red flag to any woman.
  • Listing GPA. Maybe she'll be attracted to my earning potential?

The only thing he forgot to mention was that he's a feminist too. That'll really get them tingling!

Learnings

  1. Don't have a dating resume. It's not a job interview! You're not interviewing to become her man-slave provider! (Unless you're this guy.)
  2. Objectifying women is not a crime. Women like being objectified by worthy men. And you damn well bet they're objectifying men they fancy.
  3. Don't be a mommy's boy. Don't be calling mommy every day to discuss shit.

SlaveToSelf-Made.com