"I don't get physical until I've known the guy for a while"

Archwinger · 2014-07-30T20:02:47+00:00

Pay attention to a woman's actions, not her words.

If a woman tells you that she doesn't get physical until the 200th date, she's shit testing you. If you continue to escalate toward sex, she may fuck you. Maybe not. Maybe she's telling you that because she's not into you. But if you let things go right then and there, you'll never know. If you continue to escalate and get a hard no, there's your answer. But if you're a badass and you keep the conversation and the flirting going and she gets all hot and bothered and attracted to you, she might suddenly decide that you're one of the special exceptions to the 200 date rule. She's only had 53 of those this past year.

If you back down responsive to her words and engage in 200 dates of being kind and sweet and respectful and loving and jump through all of her hoops hoping to get some sex at the end of the road, you'll waste 200 dates worth of time and money and guess what: she still won't fuck you because you're a loser.

When a woman tells you, "I never have sex with a guy I just met," most of the time, that means she has sex with guys she's just met, and is thinking about sex with guys she's just met right now. Because normal people who aren't sluts don't feel the need to tell you, "I'm not a slut." That's kind of assumed. If somebody goes around telling you she's not a slut, she's definitely a slut.

ont_anon · 2014-07-30T18:28:34+00:00

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mordanus · 2014-07-30T19:46:46+00:00

What you should take away from this is that at that moment she is thinking about having sex with you. It is just a shit test and you just agree and amplify or flip it on her.

"I can tell what's on your mind" or something like that usually flies.

MisterMisogyny · 2014-07-30T19:34:20+00:00

"I don't get physical until I've known the guy for a while"
How does the Red Pill respond to this?

Shit test 101.

That line is such a cliche that it's laughable.

Notice that "a while" is a weasel word. It's ambiguous. 10 minutes is a while. Her statement actually said nothing.

A weasel word (also, anonymous authority) is an informal term[1] for words and phrases aimed at creating an impression that a specific and/or meaningful statement has been made, when in fact only a vague or ambiguous claim has been communicated, enabling the specific meaning to be denied if the statement is challenged. A more formal term is equivocation.

"Me too, women are always just trying to use me for sex without respecting my emotions. I need to know them for an hour at least at first. Plus my grandma has to like them. She's a great judge of character."

But if I dont feel like being flippant: "Oh yeah, that's cool." Then just move right along.

One of them even said she'd never have sex with a guy unless they've both been dating for a year.

"Really? How many men have you had sex with?"

P.S. you should be judging by actions, not words. Words from women mean almost nothing.

Enphuego · 2014-07-30T20:04:22+00:00

If I really want to stir up the pot:

"What panties are you wearing right now? Your sexy date night panties or the crappy ones you wouldn't want anyone to see?"

"Um, the sexy ones."

"Interesting"

Let the hamster out of it's cage.

TRPsubmitter · 2014-07-30T18:46:16+00:00

"I am a woman of principles! ...or not. Whatever the situation calls for."

AlphaXpipubs · 2014-07-30T18:43:07+00:00

This is a classic shit test...

My standard response: "Yes, you do." and just smirk.

No reason to fight this with logic, or try to convince or or be sneaky. Most girls say they won't get physical fast, and all of them will in the right situation with the right feelings.

eccentricrealist · 2014-07-30T21:01:47+00:00

"You're quick to talk about it."

2014-07-30T19:00:03+00:00

Mock her.

"Shit, girl. Me neitha. I'm a classy broad."

2014-07-30T18:44:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

whatsazipper · 2014-07-30T19:16:29+00:00

Common shit test. Behaving as you were, unfazed; agree and amplify; or anything in a similar vein that demonstrates you don't care and it hasn't changed your course of action.

Similar ones are about other dates, guys, boyfriends, etc. None of it matters so behave accordingly.

In short, pay attention to her behavior, not her words.

TheeRyanGrey · 2014-07-30T22:30:15+00:00

The quicker a woman talks about "how long it takes" or "how she isn't like that" the more she's a slut.

Remember, everything, literally everything women say, is a building block upon or for something else. Nothing is said without purpose.

niczar · 2014-07-30T19:23:22+00:00

Acknowledge it and proceed as if she had said the opposite. "Yeah I know you're a good girl, that's why I like you."

Not a disclaimer: I know for a fact that it works, done it quite a few times to successfully overcome last minute resistance.

Gumstead · 2014-07-31T03:41:17+00:00

I was making out with this chick after going home with her from the bar. We are in her bed and she had already mentioned me spending the night so Im assuming sex is next. Then she stops and goes "Just so you know, I never have sex the first time I meet someone." I just used the trick I read about on here and said, "Okay, here's what I do: You get to say no one time and then I'll stop immediately and leave. Just to make sure nothing happens that you don't want." 10 minutes later and she's asking if I have a condom. That fake prude stuff is such a giveaway for slutty girls.

iApollo · 2014-07-30T18:56:16+00:00

You don't respond, it is a lie and irrelevant. If you're up to snuff it'll happen.

ohsweetword · 2014-07-30T20:56:42+00:00

I'd say it's usually a good thing. She wants to fuck but doesn't want to look like a slut so she's putting signals out to see how you'd react to keep her feelings in the right place.

Drogoe · 2014-07-31T00:58:09+00:00

Brush it off with indifference, like what she said is barely reverent, you don't care, it's all cool. Insinuating that she's a slut will close up her snapper very fast. Most girls who've said "I don't sleep with a guy on the first date", I end up banging...on the first date. Ignore, and plow on.

squarehead93 · 2014-07-30T21:46:59+00:00

I'd have absolutely no problem with "I don't have sex until we've dated for ____ long" if it weren't for the fact that often this seems to come from girls who have in fact had hookups and first-date sex, and not just a few.

Fortunately, I haven't had to deal with this one too much so far, but as a rule of thumb I'd say if you have good reason to believe she doesn't put out early for anyone, then it's possible she's smart enough to see through the pitfalls of the carousel. At the very least, she might just have a good idea of her SMV and realize it's best not to squander it on just anyone. Either way, I personally feel these would be attractive traits for a potential LTR, provided she's willing to be enthusiastic about sex with you once she does reach the point of being comfortable with it.

On the other hand, if she's had a history of casual sex but is trying to convince you it's better if you wait, you've found yourself in a shit test, even if she tries to spin it as her being some "reformed bad girl/born-again good girl." That's one I've been burned by. In this case, there's a good chance she's trying to pigeonhole you as the BB part of AF/BB.

grateday · 2014-07-30T22:58:14+00:00

You don't respond, just carry on as normal. I have family in Spain so when I go there with my friend he tends to pick up girls all the time and they all give the same story as he's sleeping with him, "I never normally do this".

When I was online dating I had a couple of women tell me that they want to take it slow but that night or the next date we were fully at it. It's just a wall they throw up to test you. Blow it off like they didn't even say it.

BluepillProfessor · 2014-07-31T00:51:27+00:00

It is a shit test. Agree and amplify or Amused Mastery for the next level.

tonycolrad · 2014-07-31T01:17:11+00:00

maintain eye contact for over 5 seconds while explaining that you had to break up with your ex because she refused to wait until you were married.

WillClickOnAnything · 2014-07-31T02:02:29+00:00

This is all covered in the sidebar. Go read my friend.

Swiss_Cheese9797 · 2014-07-31T03:39:41+00:00

"Its cuz you're bad at it isn't it?!"

Nynx12 · 2014-07-31T05:57:30+00:00

It's a roundabout way of getting you to think about sex with her without dealing with rejection/seeming like a straight-up slut. Women have more subtle ways of communicating, so to her this practically screams I'm DTF without coming on too strong.

Women will not bring up anything to do with sex to a man unless they're considering sleeping with him. As others have said, agree and amplify etc.

2014-07-30T19:48:31+00:00

I'm pretty much like "That's cool" and I change the subject. Patience seems to pay off, because I've hardly ever had to actually wait. Aside from a couple ultra religious chicks from high school.

NotReallyEthicalLOL · 2014-07-30T23:32:46+00:00

Girls who say this are usually doing so to try to convince themselves to change their existing habits and dispositions, and are even more likely to put out early than most females.

How to deal with it: Agree wholeheartedly and compliment her on her self-respect. This will bring her guard down. Never disagree with a woman. Always agree and continue acting with whatever plans or intentions you had to begin with.

Ill_mumble_that · 2014-07-31T00:44:00+00:00

I don't put out on the first date

"Who said this was a date? I'm here for me."

I don't have sex with guys I just met

"I believe you. Now let's see if I still believe you in a few hours"

ekjohnson9 · 2014-07-31T03:02:51+00:00

She's putting up a fort made of cardboard boxes and saying "break in, I dare you". If you're the dude who sees it as a huge stone castle she's gonna respond like it's one.

Entrefut · 2014-07-31T03:28:57+00:00

"I know exactly what you mean! Every time I take a girl on a first date and it gets physical I always have to call it off. That's why I don't take girls on dates, I just let them buy me dinner and then take them back to my place."

More of a deflection and joke than an A&A, but I drop a lot of sarcastic jokes. Just my way of doing things. If you haven't brought them into your frame and teased / joked with them earlier, they might get really defensive on this one.

dreamgap · 2014-07-31T04:36:22+00:00

I was just thinking about these kinds of statements. Wouldn't making that kind of statement be a really good move if she was planning on sleeping with the person she was speaking to? As in to say, "I don't do this a lot. I have high ideals.." blah blah blah. So when it actually happens she has some sort of plausible deniability? Just a thought.

babyicanchange · 2014-07-31T09:53:04+00:00

This reminded me of something.

My FWB has a classmate (24 years old) who's engaged.

She's been "dating" this dude for close to 6 months now and they're engaged. They haven't fucked because she's "religious" and "waiting for marriage".

The cliff? She's had other boyfriends/dudes/whatever before and fucked them. And the guy knows this... So this moron is engaged to a chick who won't put out due to religious BS, even though she's not a virgin anymore lol. The other dudes got the pussy and this moron, the one, has to wait. I cringed hard when she told me the story.

And yep, she's hot while he looks rather... harmless, as you'd expect. They don't live on the same city so I'm sure she's fucking someone on the side while that idiot jerks off to the thought of sticking his dick in his future wife. How low can you go, seriously?

pupplenupple · 2014-07-31T10:09:27+00:00

Just nod to show you've heard her, and then escalate as and when you were always intending to. Either she'll be into it or she won't, if you're escalating right she'll certainly have the chance to break the flow and make good on her previous statement but probably won't want to. Her telling you she always does something is talking about the past or her idealised and cleaned-up version of the past. Your concern is the present.

Polly_der_Papagei · 2014-08-05T02:36:02+00:00

The guys I end up sleeping with are the guys who respond with "Totally fine, tell me when you are sure you want to." And I do, and we have great consensual sex then. Why would I be shitting you on this? On the rare occasions where I have made up my mind about wanting to sleep with someone very quickly because we connected that way, I was quite happy to tell them that I would love to get physical right away, and I have yet to receive a negative reaction to that.

If someone tried to push me into having sex with them before I had made up my mind about it, or shamed me for making up my mind quickly for once, I wouldn't touch them - that is super creepy.

roskybosky · 2014-07-30T22:50:09+00:00

If a woman finds out she really doesn't like a guy, or she doesn't get along with him, she would much rather drop him w/o having had sex with him. If you sleep with your date early on, and then find out he's a total douche, you may wind up sleeping with lots of people you don't even like.

I always waited 3 months. By that time the newness wears off and you see the real person, then you can deem him worthy or not.

circlhat · 2014-07-30T23:03:20+00:00

"I only get physical with women who don't need to know the guy for a while"

Seriously, you can make any standard you want, just be prepared for her to leave; which is fine because you can get a much better girl

swallowpls · 2014-07-30T22:35:57+00:00

next her. she'll probably come around. if she doesn't, then you're still off banging some other chick.

HalfPastTuna · 2014-07-30T20:05:48+00:00

Oh that's too bad because I don't date girls I'm not fucking

logically_ · 2014-07-30T20:20:36+00:00

I know this response might seem verbose and I'm paraphrasing, but the last chick that used that line got this from me (found her on OKC, met up at a bar): "It's all good. I know y'all girls have to say stuff like that so you don't come across as easy. Not saying you're easy.. Because I don't judge people that way. I tend to go with the flow. If I'm having a good time with a girl, I don't get any bad feelings about taking it to another level."

Wouldn't you know it, her body language was practically begging me to fuck her by the time we got to my place. I stopped wondering whether or not I was a girl's first ONS a long time ago.

gravgp2003 · 2014-07-30T20:11:31+00:00

Laugh in their face. I would go with "Yea ok." I would tell her that I don't date women that are sexual repressed like that. Sex was only a big deal when you are 16 years old. She is straight lying and you both know it. Call her out on her shit. Period.

CyricYourGod · 2014-07-30T19:29:38+00:00

On the one hand, it's pretty smart for a woman to not put out for a few dates, just to get to know the guy a bit and do some kind of google search of him at least. Men can be dangerous as fuck, and the last thing you want is to be beaten/raped or stalked by someone much stronger than you. She needs some time to find out if the guy is crazy or not, seems perfectly reasonable for a long-term relationship.

On the other hand, a year is a ridiculous amount of time, and is clearly a shit test. I wouldn't commit to a long term relationship with someone without getting to know every aspect of their personality, which includes her sexual drive; it's pretty important for me that our libidos match up somewhat, and I can't go a year of being blue-balled just to find out she is asexual or something. Basically, if I'm not getting sex from you, rest assured I will be getting it somewhere else.

In other words, I would never sign a lease for an apartment without making sure all the plumbing works first.

ioncloud9 · 2014-07-30T23:04:08+00:00

They are almost always lying. Ive fucked many a girl who said she doesnt have sex on the first date.

PhilipeNegro · 2014-07-30T23:11:46+00:00

Says the girl who believes every guy when he says her pussy is "the best".

thereditpill · 2014-07-30T23:36:44+00:00

There's a first for everything

favourthebold · 2014-07-31T01:06:25+00:00

If you're getting that all the time it just means you're not attractive enough to sleep with. It means 'I would only sleep with a guy like you if you give me a year of your time.'

It's not a shit test, and you can't talk you way or 'RedPill' your way into being sexually attractive. You're also probably presenting yourself as boyfriend material. Get some edge and get under 10% body fat.

busior · 2014-07-31T04:08:23+00:00

From my experience - the girls who say such things are total sluts

vicious_armbar · 2014-07-31T04:47:43+00:00

What would you think if someone who you just met at a bar and is new to town said: "I would never rob a bank and flee to a neighboring city!!" unprovoked? When a woman says that 'she doesn't get physical until she's known a guy for a while' it's usually because she has a guilty conscious. True prudes don't feel the need to openly state that they're not sluts.

I usually just respond with an: "ok", change the subject, and proceed onward as normal. I've found the chicks who say this are the most likely to want to bang you with little investment. Either they're slutty and they feel ashamed of it, or they were slutty with the last guy; are ashamed of that; and now want to make you work for their poon. If it's the former implement your normal strategy and try to bang them. If it's the latter next quickly next them.

Either way it's good to take your shot early with these women. Because there generally is no middle ground. Either they're down to fuck so you don't have to waste your time. Or they regret their slutty behavior in the past; in which case you won't be getting the goods without putting in significant work. Either way it's better to find that out what their deal is early on by trying to sleep with them. Then either bang them or next them when they don't play ball.

I've never understood that logic anyway. What guy in his right mind would be willing to put in a shit ton of work after a woman tells him that she gave it up quickly to the last guy so banged; so now she wants to "take it slow". Bitch you didn't value your pussy the last time around, so why the hell would I value it now?!

yummyluckycharms · 2014-07-30T20:55:30+00:00

I've had this line dropped on me before a few times, and my response has never changed.

"Oh - thats too bad. To me sex is important, and I find that when a woman needs to wait that long, it signals trust issues. I dont think we are compatible".

I get up and leave, and because your first date is only coffee, you're lesson learned doesnt cost much.

NicCageForPresident · 2014-07-30T20:18:31+00:00

[permanently deleted]

nharan · 2014-07-30T21:04:52+00:00

From my experience, women decide whether to sleep with you or not, the moment they meet you... So if they choose not to, they were never going to.

My usual response is quite honest: "That's cool, we don't have to get physical at all.. but until we do, we're just platonic friends.. I am not exclusive with platonic friends as I have many... "

That usually gives them a strong hint.

Title	"I don't get physical until I've known the guy for a while"
Author	Emblem909
Upvotes	81
Comments	107
Date	July 30, 2014 6:24 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2c5vyc/i_dont_get_physical_until_ive_known_the_guy_for_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/i-dont-get-physical-until-ive-known-the-guy-for-a.18684 https://theredarchive.com/post/18684

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