anyone wanna talk?

Banking_Scrilla · 2018-12-10T13:40:41+00:00

You the Captain of your soul, The Master of your fate.

Yes, I know it might feel shitty. I felt like this in the morning, but I knew I had control over my state every fucking time. Remember though this to shall pass away.

feel free to inbox if you think its unbearable.

Ceroe · 2018-12-10T13:44:04+00:00

i feel you bro. just struggling eh. keep on keeping on.

back in the day my mate and I would both be depressed as fuck together because of our life styles. broke, no gf, debt and a failing car. when I would leave him he would say "hey man. keep hitting them out of the ball park." for some reason that shit just gave me strength to get through it. I knew those shit feelings will pass and him and I will get to greener pastures in time. this too shall pass. and it did. still shit days but that's life.

keep hitting them out of the ball park man. keep your head up and just keep hitting them.

rad_dynamic · 2018-12-10T14:09:35+00:00

hey bro. sometimes people have brain chemical balances, for whatever reason is unknown. the imbalances can make you feel down. they come and go.

your brain is a fucking complex thing and a few extra(or a few less) molecules is enough to make you feel worthless.

try to remember that it's not you that feels empty, or that you are alone, or whatever of these things. instead try to remember that it's just a few imbalances in your mind n that it will all be sorted out and you will be feeling better sooner or later.

the fact you have motivation to improve and are not playing the victim is testament that you are a strong person. keep your head high, because in 10 years time, hell, 10 months time, maybe even 10 days time, you'll be worrying about a completely different set of worms.

TheOEDWY · Mon Dec 10 14:30:50 2018 UTC

As someone who has struggled with depression and anxiety in the past, I believe people tend to downplay the influence of obvious external factors and look instead at some sense of existential dread or imbalance first. Address the obvious first. Do you have any addictions? Do you consume alcohol, drugs, pornography? Do you consume much media? Video games? How often are you on the phone or computer? These habits can mess with us so examine them properly.

I see you have some family problems. Do you have many close relationships beyond these? What about a support system? Do you have people around you that you could turn to if you needed them?

Further, what is your mission? Have you defined it and are you progressing towards it?

philbignig · 2018-12-10T14:55:21+00:00

vitamin d 10k iu

yumyumgivemesome · 2018-12-10T14:58:21+00:00

I used to subscribe to the depression subreddit, and I too found it very victim oriented. Anybody who even suggested that at least some improvement could be self-realized was immediately downvoted into oblivion. I think that is ridiculous. We can heal ourselves in so many ways, and surely we can improve our mental states as well.

I believe that purpose is one of the main ingredients to a meaningful life. I suspect that poorer countries have lower rates of depression mostly because mere survival on a daily basis provides people with a tangible purpose. In our comfortable world, we have to find our own purpose. I struggle with this myself. I could lose my job and become completely unemployable, and I'd know that my family would support me forever. Yes, I'd have to give up traveling and partying and my dating life would take a hit... but I wouldn't die. As comforting as that sounds (and it truly is), I fear it also diminishes my drive.

That means we have to manufacture our own purpose. All it takes is choosing a goal (e.g., earning a certain amount of money, learning to play a song on an instrument, lifting a certain weight, running a certain distance, etc.) and adhering to achieving that goal. The problem is that almost none of those goals are necessary. Most would add very little tangible meaning to our life. But the intangibles are invaluable. The intangibles come from the daily discipline to continue moving toward that goal. The daily grind. We could give up at any moment and nobody would know or even care. Yet continuing on develops something in us. Now I'm straying far away from anything I truly know about, especially because I struggle with discipline as much as any fellow lazy procrastinator around here. Just from introspection, this feels like something that could really improve my life and mental well-being. I suspect that you and many others could stand to benefit in the same way.

Helpcalculus · 2018-12-10T15:03:11+00:00

What the fuck do I know, but here's my experience.

On paper, I looked liked the happiest man alive. But inside, fuck no. Turns out, everything I think and do is rational. There's almost no place left for any emotion. You have to be human sometimes and sometimes do shit spontaneously.

It's helping me a lot. Give it a try. Do something that involves emotion and not just logic.

MagnumBurrito · 2018-12-10T15:47:41+00:00

Nature will help.

I went on a 3 day hiking trip to the Smoky Mountains. On the 3rd day of a ten mile hike, I legit felt the depression lift. It's been a month and half and it hasn't come back.

I work out most days and started hiking twice every weekend since the trip. Seems to be working.

kril89 · 2018-12-10T14:16:30+00:00

Youtube "self compassion kristin neff" I like the talk she did for Happy and Well. It kind of changes the way you look at things give it a shot.

Ansec · 2018-12-10T15:52:10+00:00

Don't want to be the victim? Then don't be.

So what, you had a failed interview. I've had hundreds. Keep going to the gym. A bender is sometimes a good thing.

When you feel better, after your hangover, get back to work. You're a man, find your purpose and smash the shit out of it. Realign your life around that purpose. Your purpose can be anything. From building an awesome business, to the best sales guy in the company, to the most traveled man, to the best artist, you have to always be working towards something that is unattainable and give your 100%. Making progress towards that keeps you happy. Men need to be continually doing something, continually progressing. It's how we operate.

Tip: get off social media. It's an addiction that simulates intimacy and like porn, it dulls our senses to the real thing.

BiccThiccDiccBoi · 2018-12-10T14:29:56+00:00

Man I've been feeling the same way this entire weekend. I don't really know what's up with me. Normally I'm very cold and distant around people I don't know but am very warm and joking around with my friends. They noticed something was wrong with me because I was being so quiet and detached. I couldn't focus on anything other than existential thoughts.

I'm not much of a club going person but I was so out of it and wanted escape that I randomly accepted my friend's offer to go out of town to a club. I hate clubbing, I think it's degenerate and doesn't add any value to my life so I didn't have much fun. Even after getting back my head space was still the same and I feel bad for wasting a weekend going clubbing when I should have just stayed home and played guitar, piano, and worked on my voice/singing.

If you find a cure for this "INTP" curse please let me know. I hate not being able to live my life and only sit back and observe and think sometimes.

HumbleTrees · 2018-12-10T23:24:49+00:00

Think of it this way. Your life is immeasurably better than the lives that 95% of humanity have endured through the past several thousand years. Think about honestly just how much fucking better your life actually is. You're not a slave, bam, you're already better than likely 60% of humanity this far. Do you have a house? Okay you're in in the 10th percentile at a minimum. Did you eat today? Holly fuck look at Mr I ate today. Do you have 4 fully functioning limbs? Alright Skippy mcfuckinggee.

The point I'm trying to make is not that you shouldn't feel depressed. That shit happens and I've ridden that wave. My point is that people have had it far far fucking worse yet they persevere. Why? Why do they continue. They had much more of a reason to end things, or bitch about their lives. But they fought on. They fought to live even with little to fuck all chance of ever changing their circumstances. Why then, why do they stick it out rather than removing themselves from this world?

The answer is because it's what we fucking do as men. We persevere through any and all adversity, for the greatest fires forge the strongest swords. You're in the making.

box_me000 · 2018-12-10T17:05:03+00:00

Hey man, you just gonna know that everything will be alright eventually. Keep working on yourself and things will pick up.

It's been a rough month for me too. broke up with my LTR, shut down my business, now I'm broke and jobless, all happened within a month. Probably the most depressed I've ever been. But hey I still have my gym membership haha.

Just remember, you're not alone in this. Everyone of us is fighting our own demons. As long as you're alive and healthy, nothing can stop you from powering through. Cheers.

HectoSexual · 2018-12-10T18:42:43+00:00

I know this advice isn’t going to seem 100% redpilled, but I got out of my depression by listening to “The Secret” on repeat about 100 times.

I brainwashed myself into believing that my emotional state was something I had to consciously choose, every second of every day. At first it was impossible to believe because it was so obviously not the case. But some days I was able to shift my emotional state just a tiny bit and that gave me some hope. And then I did it more and more until the depression loosened its grip on me.

Also remember the famous quote by Albus Dumbledore: “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

Klodderbomb · 2018-12-10T15:22:47+00:00

Try out Jordan Peterson’s book (12 Rules for Life). Has helped me out a lot. Also his lectures are great.

Eldudearino89 · 2018-12-10T15:38:43+00:00

Been noticing a lot of people in your age range is saying this. It's almost every person I've talked to in that range. Not sure if it's just coincidence or not.

Anyways, do you have goals? More importantly do you have a mission for your life yet? Feel like without these things your life can seem like a damper.

For example my mission is to continuously help the deaf community in some shape, form, or fashion as long as I'm physically, mentally, and emotionally able to.

Granted a lot of people your age don't have a mission yet, and that's ok one will come to you. When it does it'll be a "Aha" moment.

Some of my goals is lose weight until I can see abs, get certified in sign language, open my own agency one day within reason (maybe not), pay off debt, and invest in real estate.

All this with a lot of things others have said will get you somewhere. However, they say with the bad comes the good, and with the good comes the bad.

SeReN_pdm · 2018-12-10T17:48:24+00:00

Did you check your vitamin d levels? Winter is coming and I suffered heavily (including depression, some sort of burn out) from low vitamin d levels in the past years, even when I was doing just fine otherwise. It was the only stat that was always to way to low, when the doc checked my blood.

Momentarily I am on supplementation and everything seems really good so far.

TheHandsomeMF · 2018-12-10T19:45:36+00:00

This post is just making me more depressed.

Keep strong bro.

Dilduo · 2018-12-10T19:55:26+00:00

work on forming a new social circle, pick up some hobbies, take some classes, go places where you can meet people. Get a puppy and take him to the dog park or just walking around, people will just gravitate to you because of cute dog and you get to love the little fucker on top of that.

Couer_De_Lion · 2018-12-10T20:00:39+00:00

Bro I needed this thread, I just came home from work, I said I was sick but really I was so depressed I couldnt handle it

I get the whole self improvement thing, like I try and improve but it doesn't help my mental state, no matter what I do shit keeps going wrong, fucking hate this clown world. Literally cant find enjoyment in anything, if you've seen that 23yr old Doomer meme thats me, and it sounds like you too

If you wanna chat bro shoot, i've been told im a gc to yarn to and give advice.

Dark_T100 · 2018-12-10T20:21:00+00:00

Find something you love to do, and find meaning in it.

I love classical music. I read along to music scores from J.S. Bach. I try and teach myself the piano so i can recreate the sounds he made 300 years ago. I fell in love with him and his music 5 years ago. Its so beautiful to me, that i could do it every day until i die and i would be happy.

maxofreddit · 2018-12-10T20:36:21+00:00

At the risk of sounding a little new-age, try starting each day with a quick gratitude exercise. This helps me tremendously to get in a better brain space for the day. We all have something to be grateful for, the fact that your breathing, have eyes to read these bad ass comments, or even electricity are just some basics.

It’s obnoxiously simplistic, but it really, really helps me.

Also, I notice that the day after, as well as the second day after drinking alcohol, I find myself in a lull. So check that habit to see if it’s affecting you.

lonelyredsheep · 2018-12-11T00:55:42+00:00

"It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul."

DEVi4TION · 2018-12-11T05:34:14+00:00

I want you to know I felt exactly like you. It's nearly 10 years later and I feel like a fucking champion. I'm a different person. You can too, and you will homy. In fact, I haven't even got fit I'm a skinny shit but I'm making more money and banging hotter woman then ever with LESS stress than before. It's. So. Do-able. Keep on your pace. It will come for you.

Not_A_Twist · 2018-12-11T08:24:16+00:00

Sounds like you’re going through a lot at the moment, bro. Not only is there change happening with your family but I’m sure all that worry is laying a huge burden on you

omarbradley42 · 2018-12-10T15:00:14+00:00

Find a purpose which makes your life better. Such as altruism, trp advices became more solipsist every day. Our nature isn't compatible with this. You may help people, animals even plants. Our hearts will feel content via this way.

chemiey · 2018-12-10T15:41:21+00:00

Ending up all alone in a place like that calls for an incentive to move away and in itself, it is. Consider your economics, your health, your interests and most important your dreams. Then make a consideration about where to go, somewhere warmer, somewhere colder, somewhere more crowded and with more services like sports, culture, music or alike.. or the opposite. Maybe start farming, move out in the fields, in the forests. Or maybe applying for a job or settle with business somewhere else. You are a champion! and you know it, now it is the time for you to start doing what you would really like to do in your life.

Or go out travelling? Go to South America for 6 month and travel around. Live from day to day and get away from all that dirth, filth and degration you were surrounded by. Get out and about and see the world!

BusterVadge · 2018-12-10T16:08:33+00:00

What kind of goals are you working toward? If you're just a ship drifting aimlessly on the sea you're going to get thrown about by the waves.

Have a mission. One that excites you enough to keep you up late at night and get you up early in the morning.

thesquarerootof1 · 2018-12-10T16:18:05+00:00

First of all, buy your rent/own your own place. How old are you ? I can guarantee that you'll feel better if you don't live with family.

Scorchyy · 2018-12-10T16:34:56+00:00

I like seeing communities like this where men can talk about their problems and get support, in the old times it was wrong for a man to talk about his problems and he had to keep everything inside. Good luck to you, hope you get better soon!

madara_on_reddit · 2018-12-10T18:32:08+00:00

Get a dog no joke, nevet been depressed, but everyday i look for the moment he greets me at the door

AtlasCuckd · 2018-12-10T18:38:16+00:00

I won't be able to fix your situation. Only offer advice guidance and listen.

Feel free to Dm bro

foothillsco_b · 2018-12-10T19:32:55+00:00

If you need to hear a voice, pm me your number and I’ll talk to you.

jkeegan123 · 2018-12-10T19:45:25+00:00

Do you have any hobbies ? Anything that you do for yourself?

HumbleRedPillStudent · 2018-12-10T20:15:41+00:00

Hey man, amongst the fray of support, I'm happy to throw my hat into the ring.

If you need to talk, just PM me. That's what this sub is really for. I hope that's what it'll always be about.

glenfiddichlaker31 · 2018-12-10T20:20:40+00:00

I’ve applied to over 200 jobs (some qualified for some not) and just accepted one. It’ll pass. Keep pushing

ramjaz · 2018-12-10T21:01:24+00:00

We all have problems man. All of us. I’m dealing with a schizophrenic mom that’s tearing our family apart.

It’s how YOU handle the situation. Are you going to tolerate it? Are you going to avoid them at all costs? It’s up to YOU at the end of the day. It’s your life, not theirs, and if you don’t want to put up with their shit then find a place to live elsewhere. If you already have a place then cut contact.

I love my mom for giving me life, but I hate her for destroying it.

BrainsOverGains · 2018-12-10T22:07:12+00:00

Watch RSD Julien's Happiness Manifesto, I know he's a pua but this video really changed my life. Just let go

solstone109 · 2018-12-10T22:38:10+00:00

It's winter, it's the sad season. I've gotten really sad about 3 times so far this season. I just reassure myself that's it's temporary and that nothing is actually wrong.

I'm in a stable job, housing. I have a car, I plenty of food. Enough money to be to able to spend some of it on my hobbies. .

SlashingSide · 2018-12-10T23:36:25+00:00

Old stoic quote:

‘Without the lion, hydra, stag, boar and wicked and brutal men to test his strenght and abilities, the world would not have known of HERACLES. What obstacles will define you? ‘

bilabrin · 2018-12-11T00:02:56+00:00

You need goals.

Figure out what you want to to with your life. What does life mean to you? Most people go with "have kids." Some do not.

You need a goal for your life, a goal for your decade, a goal for your year, a goal for the month and a goal for the week.

You start putting checkmarks in your shorter and medium range goals and you'll find your zest for life.

reborn-phoenix · 2018-12-11T00:12:18+00:00

One thing which helps a lot is not having “free” time, where you think, where you have nothing to do and you start questioning and getting depressed. Don’t let you to be alone with yourself. It will pass, good times will come definitely. Do some stuff, fitness training, read a book, watch a movie, go to a park, to a museum, go to a concert, just do stuff so that at the end of the day you are tired and you put your head on the pillow and fall asleep like a baby.

wildrobbie87 · 2018-12-11T01:19:14+00:00

Life is a constant uphill battle where you dont have time to take breaks without wrecking your future. If you are feeling like shit, then you have time to feel like shit...which isnt the life of a proudctive man. Go exchange that time for heavier lifting....go and take boxing or mma class.

If youve already done that and you still feel like this way, go learn a new skill or knowledge.

The truth is, I used to feel sad and shit, However i learnt something simple years later: You arent sad or unhappy when you are busy earning big cash because that takes up alot hours in the day to earn big cash.

You are incontrol of your own life however smart working people dont have time to be sad or angry, they barely have enough time to get their day jobs done like seeing all their family or friend and have little te for cleaning, however, they keep trying to fit it in by continuously working at it.

Remember: if you not sleeping more than 6 hours solidly...without waking up, then by a new mattress and buy some blackout curtains to correct your sleep and improve your mentsl state with better sleep however if you need money, start with learning a skill so you can earn the money to buy better the correct equipment for a better and comfortable night sleep.

Andgelyo · 2018-12-11T02:05:37+00:00

You and me both, brother. I can't stand my older brother sometimes and I absolutely hate my father for being a verbally abusive piece of shit. I'm not depressed though. I'm more so angry. I'm so god damn angry that every morning i'm motivated to become successful and not be like those bastards.

look_up_there · 2018-12-11T02:12:17+00:00

If it's really bad, and you have the opportunity to, consider traveling. Change your surroundings, throw a spanner in the routine and go experience some shit. Do it cheaper and get scared, do hostels in a country where you don't speak the language. You can assess your home life while your away, can reallllllly put things in perspective for some people

Rndm_010 · 2018-12-11T03:25:59+00:00

Have you tried meditation?

Mdlusk · 2018-12-11T04:30:54+00:00

I'm in a similar situation as you at the moment, but I'm slowly just trying to improve one thing at a time, my overall health, opening my first business, etc. For me what helps is taking some time to myself just to think and maybe do some kind of activity that is unrelated to the things im trying to accomplish, but I make sure not to take too much time because I could easily start procrastinating. Feel free to message me if you want.

fadadapple · 2018-12-11T04:33:10+00:00

I feel that. My entire friend group thinks I'm a creep and wants nothing to do with me.

randarrow · 2018-12-10T14:43:28+00:00

So, random suggestion.

Look up physical overtraining syndrome. People get lost in the idea that exercise is good, more exercise is better, without realizing too much exercise is a possibility too. Includes such issues as depression.

Start tracking your vitals. Good luck!

Aurora921 · 2018-12-31T18:11:17+00:00

I get that from time to time, probably most people do. What helped me tremendously was 1. finding friends (through similar interests) 2. trying new hobbies 3. living in a city with a lot going on

Johnnadawearsglasses · 2018-12-10T14:21:42+00:00

How old are you?

Ps this matters because need to understand your ability to escape your situation

JonathanMekerset · 2019-01-10T05:13:31+00:00

I’m depressed too. That’s actually why I just came on here to post about it. Don’t want to talk to a therapist because I feel like they’ll just put me on SSRIs.

It’s weird. It’s like 75% of the time I’m depressed, angry, or anxious.

Im actively lifting, meditating, eating at a healthy caloric surplus, getting good sleep, gallon of water, no substances, no porn, no masturbation. It’s still there. This is making me think it’s a chemical imbalance.

Getting my test levels checked soon. If they come back low hopefully I can get on some TRT, but most doctors think levels of an 80 year old man are fine so imma have to figure that out. If that’s not it I don’t know what imma do.

Title	anyone wanna talk?
Author	bf1bro18
Upvotes	249
Comments	86
Date	December 10, 2018 1:32 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/a4voj1/anyone_wanna_talk/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/anyone-wanna-talk.70262 https://theredarchive.com/post/70262

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