Can't get over LTR's past.

KirthWGersen · 2021-05-10T22:08:23+00:00

The sooner you don't give a fuck the better, for your own mental health.

All that matters is whose cock she is sucking right now. Chill out and enjoy!

T00kTheRedPill · 2021-05-10T22:47:12+00:00

You’re not going to find one that’s not had someone else up in her. With all due respect, your issues are yours. This is saying more about you than her. You either need to get over yourself or dump her. If it’s not already, your thoughts will begin to carry over into your actions and vibes. She WILL, at some point pick up in it.

Unless you’re planning on marrying and / or having kids with a woman, you shouldn’t be asking about her sexual past, especially if you’re not getting red / black flags and is sweet, kind, fit, cooperative and submissive, but others will say I’m wrong, but that’s ok, as that’s their right.

This is something inside of you that you need to deal with, otherwise you’re going to have the same issue with every other woman.

Good luck man.

HillaryRodhamFan · 2021-05-11T06:02:01+00:00

Women don’t think like men do. That’s your problem: you assume their thought process is yours but in reverse. This is erroneous. If she really likes you then your dick is the best she’s had. If she wants to please you then you’re her world.

If you can accept that a woman’s minds can switch off and get turned off from you overnight (which is a well known effect), then why don’t you accept that it also works the other way around? ie you’re everything to her when she’s is your girl and everyone else is a turn off.

They are less rational and more emotional when it comes to this sort of thing. Don’t rationalize reasons to destroy the relationship on her behalf.

You should not torture yourself and someone might say you’re better off seeking another partner, but ultimately the problem is within you and your own expectations so deal with it by realizing your mind is yours and other people, particularly other women, operate on a different layer that’s alien to you.

RPEdmonton · 2021-05-10T20:32:30+00:00

I used to be same way. The more I date though the less I care.

penguin4290 · 2021-05-11T01:07:39+00:00

The alternative is you find someone with a low n count and then they inevitably cheat on you because they will want to know what else is out there.

SenorTonto · 2021-05-11T00:10:54+00:00

How old are you? Focus on the woman in front of you. Most women have been around the block. Who cares

MusicgoonV2 · 2021-05-10T22:06:20+00:00

You're going to be hard pressed to find a girl that hasn't slept with several people. We all have a past. Some LARPERS will tell you to look for a virgin. Good luck with that.

How does she treat you? It sounds like everything is good except for your own insecurities. She can't take back her past. So are you going to look for your unicorn or just accept the fact that no one you're going to have relationship with is going to be perfect?

BlondeHornyElf · 2021-05-10T20:46:28+00:00

for plates nobody cares but ya when u invest into a relationship this shit can start to get under your skin... on some base level you feel cucked to invest so much into a girl that gave herself away to another man for nothing. only you're gonna know if you can eventually shake this off or not, for some guys it's just not possible, their anti-cuck instincts are too strong.

froze_gold · 2021-05-11T04:29:52+00:00

Honestly, most girls have a high n count. If she checks boxes for LTR material then just enjoy what she adds to your life. She may leave one day, and it'll make you realize that dwelling on the past was pointless.

tetrachromancy · 2021-05-11T05:21:43+00:00

Good luck finding a Virgin to simp over.

Most of us have to be okay with the fact that human beings have sex.

Accept it and stop getting lost in your possessive feels. If it continues then don’t LTR girls with high notch count.

omega_dawg93 · 2021-05-11T11:12:18+00:00

a girl once told me... "don't ever ask a girl how many dicks she's had."

i asked, "why is that... isn't it important to know something about your partner's history?"

she said, "sure... but can you handle the number?"

fact: the girl will adjust the number in direct proportion to what she believes you can handle... as she will DEFINITELY lie about the number to:

protect YOUR feelings & ego.
project an image of 'innocence' to the man considering her for LTR work.
most importantly, to protect HER feelings as she does not want to think about all the pussy she's wasted chasing love.

come across as secure & confident and NON-JUDGMENTAL, and most women will give you the 'average' truth as to how much dick they've had. but here's one last thing that girl told me:

"if you're afraid of how much she's been fucked, you do NOT want to know the number of dicks she's sucked... it's MUCH higher."

men often think about how much time, attention, & esp. resources we've wasted thru the years chasing pussy... while women DO NOT WANT to think about all the pussy they've given away chasing love a/o attention. don't make her re-live that past... just like you don't want to think about all the TIME & cash, etc., you wasted just to get some pussy.

Simple-Craft-9577 · 2021-05-10T22:35:07+00:00

I’m no expert but I one watched a video on this where the guy said that the reason why this is super common these days is because our biological programming has not evolved as fast as the sexual marketplace has. We are wired to accept only a handful of past partners whereas people have casual sex left, right and center these days.

The challenge is not just your oneitis. The challenge is that it is extremely difficult to find attractive women these days that haven’t had casual sex. At least in my opinion. I could be wrong though. Hence, for anyone that is eventually looking for an LTR, this will be an issue. I personally never had issue with my LTRs serious past either, but the flings made me uneasy as well .

-since · 2021-05-10T23:23:29+00:00

This is normal male behaviour to be repulsed by female promiscuity. Don't worry about it bro.

To accept it isn't to ignore it, or even desensitize yourself to it.

To accept it is to logically understand the reasoning, admit that there's not much you can do, embrace that uncomforting part of the experience, and keep banging her brains out.

kazuechan · 2021-05-11T03:30:30+00:00

It’s called retrograde jealousy. The only reason why you are worried about her past is because you feel inadequate. Who cares how many ppl has creampied her holes. She’s actively choosing to be with you. Enjoy your turn while it lasts. Only 3% of this world are virgins.

omega_dawg93 · 2021-05-11T10:56:14+00:00

"once something is fucked... it can't be un-fucked."

a german co-worker used to say this in German when we'd do something stupid at work.

the same applies to women: once they've consented to take a cock, she can't un-fuck it and since it happened before you, there's NOTHING you can do about it... so don't worry and just enjoy your time with her.

"it's NOT your pussy, it's just your turn." only she knows how many dix she's serviced and even to herself, she'll lie about the number.

Don_Draper27 · 2021-05-11T12:51:01+00:00

First, stop watching porn. Porn fucks up your brain and makes you have dreadful thoughts like you're having.

Secondly, you just have to make peace with it. Even if you find a virgin, you're still going to get anxiety if she's cheating on you. And then when the relationship ends, you're going to get anxiety about who she's fucking on the CC.

Even if you lock her away like rapunzel, can you stop her from fingering herself to fantasies of Chad and Tyrone?

Just, take a visual step back and take a third person view of the world for a second. Everyone fucks. All mammals fuck. Humans just have to fuck to continue our species. It's just a thing we do, like how we all take shits.

All I focus on is that my fucks come back for more. If a plate keeps making time for me and keeps wanting to have sex with me then that's all I can really hope for. It means that at least I'm not the worst dick she's ever had.

And instead of crying and cutting myself over who my girls have been with and what they've done, I just focus on improving my own dick game. Like, I just bought a butt plug for a plate and I'm just excited to add that tool to my sexb ox

I was seeing a plate a few weeks ago and I got a bit intimidated when she brought up that she's been in a full leather mask and talked about BDSM stuff that I was just beginning to dive into. It hurt my ego a little bit but it also felt good when she came a few times when I was going down on her and she complimented that it was amazing and that it was the best had she's had in years.

MrNeverDryDick · 2021-05-10T22:29:21+00:00

You beat this by doing some of the nastiest most vile shit with other girls. So no matter what kinda kinky stuff she does to you/for you... you’ll always know you’ve done worse

Fabulous-Craft · 2021-05-10T20:58:36+00:00

Is this just your perception of her past? Or do you have insider knowledge?

The reality is the next girl will have an N count you're uncomfortable with too. Even if they claim they're a virgin or have been with only one guy, you'll never know for sure.

kmf01 · 2021-05-10T22:18:14+00:00

This thread is almost daily in asktrp. Just shows you that no matter what society tells us, its hardwired in our DNA to look for women without past. You can fight with it, pretend you dont care and sooner or later you will probably stop caring, but biology is telling you to not ltr those women

Abadalta · 2021-05-10T21:52:13+00:00

That's completely normal. You don't have to LTR women that have been passed around.

You'd actually be made fun of for doing that in the past, because you're now "buying" milk that everyone got for free.

Only commit to women that you can plant flags with. All other women are just plates.

jjj2576 · 2021-05-10T20:48:17+00:00

Ahhh— another man cucked by the Ghost of Cocksmas Past.

Gtrplyr3838 · 2021-05-10T23:29:24+00:00

The older you get, the less you will care. I have been with virgins, and it wasn’t so great. I have much more enjoyed women who knew what they were doing. Who they were with before isn’t my concern.

iguy26 · 2021-05-11T02:52:19+00:00

[deleted]

Ray_Zell · 2021-05-11T05:01:04+00:00

It’s because you aren’t experienced. You’re jealous that people are out there fucking and you aren’t. You see your gf as part of that.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2021-05-11T06:16:15+00:00

LTR of one year and a few months. Things are good, boundaries are firmly respected. BUT, her past dwells on my mind very recurrently. I mean, sometimes when we're having sex, (sex is good by the way), I can't help telling myself "wtf man, all this shit she's doing with you she's done it in the past with other guys" When she's blowing me or doing shit in the bed

You're right. The hell are you doing OP? You need to call all those hot dudes up and demand a repeat performance. Why are you messing around with her? It's their dicks ypu need to focus on. Make sure it's extra slobbery and disgusting with them. Make sure to demand all their numbers out of her phone.

You seem to be an expert at shit testing yourself OP.

This is probably because both your parents were shit-testy little bitches and have long since become the voice of self-doubt in your head.

Snowboard18 · 2021-05-10T20:48:55+00:00

I’m assuming your jokin when u said she might have fucked like 300 dudes, are you?

Cause what I’m getting at is your failure to vet her properly before committing to an ltr. If a girl has fucked over 10 guys there is no chance that I get exclusive w her. Obviously they lie about it but you can get a rough estimate out of her in conversation.

If you don’t like the fact that she used to sleep around a lot then break up w her.

Having a high n count is a red flag for many reasons. First is the obvious (and the prob I think u have), when fucking her or some other time thoughts like “damn she really has had 200 different dicks in her” and other shit like. And we’re not sociopaths so those thoughts can hurt. Secondly, the more partners a girl has fucked, her ability to pair-bond and form an emotional attachment to you goes down significantly

King_of_kings4 · 2021-05-10T22:31:07+00:00

Sounds like oneitis

Liberal_On_Guns · 2021-05-11T01:17:35+00:00

It turns me off a lot and even makes her unvaluable

Welcome to the RP, where we view the real world for what it is.

this might sound weird, but it's not the gf's past LTRs that bother me, but rather the flings and tinder hookups.

Yup. This is because the "hookups" received for free what you paid full-price to get. Another way to look at it: A woman having a one night stand is expressing untamed, burning desire. She's giving away her most enthusiastic sex to the guy who's so arousing to her that he got her box with little or no effort. This is known as "giving away her best."

Stay with her or don't. But I can tell you that I'm not going to be that loser who tries to turn a hoe into a housewife. Let another beta-bux forgive her notch count

oxycore123 · 2021-05-11T11:20:17+00:00

Options:

Break up with her before she breaks up with you, which she will once this kind of mentality seeps into your behaviour.
Get over it through intense introspection and personal growth!
Cheat on her, when I was in a similar headspace this fixed the issue entirely. This is because the guilt you feel like she should bare as a result of her past is balanced out by your own.

Intrepid_Artist · 2021-05-10T21:29:41+00:00

So what. She with you for a reason(s)

How tight/loose she is?

When two of you physically match!, you shouldn't have this thoughts.

You said you invest in her? Why you feel this way? Maybe this "investing" make you feel uncomfortable. If fwb scene makes you more happy go for it. Not everyone needs LTP

Try to do meditation, and have more trips into nature, away from screens.

It's a mental game. Spin it off, this hot chicks, is crazy about my dick. Every night she comes home and gives me her pussy.

anonyree · 2021-05-10T21:37:02+00:00

Stop fixating wtf. You need more challenges in your life if this is what you are thinking about. Men need challenge, go find it like build your careee

drakehfh · 2021-05-10T22:06:50+00:00

Then don't treat her as a LTR. You will end up losing frame and being a bitch.

Why did you upgrade her in the first place?

When it comes to LTRs, it's either "fuck yes" or a "no*.

Do you feel "fuck yes" with this girl? Apparently not.

throwRA3141565 · 2021-05-11T00:35:16+00:00

you can't get the thought her guzzling other guys' cum and getting railed in her ass bc you hv deep oneitis. spin plates. even in LTR's. You are going to fuck yourself over with your neediness and constant reimaginations of her sucking off her past multiple sex partners. The way to act better is to spin more plates. The more you care about her, the more important it is to spin plates. Bc if you don't, you will naturally just fuck this up - with your loss of frame, neediness, insecurities. It reeks to her.

Schablik · 2021-05-10T21:03:46+00:00

I’m my LTR’s first body. But she has done stuff in the past but not much to my knowledge. I wouldn’t be able to LTR if I wasn’t their first tbh

TrpKid2 · 2021-05-10T20:41:36+00:00

What's her n count?

tdreampo · 2021-05-11T03:27:30+00:00

Why any red piller has a ltr is beyond me.

tradsouthernmale · 2021-05-24T23:19:25+00:00

If you don't trust a woman (you clearly don't trust her), then you should never make her an LTR, and probably not a plate.

Honesty is far more important than sexual history to me. In fact, my best FWB's were absolutely dirty 100+ n-count sluts, but were TOTALLY honest with me.

Dishonesty is where all the drama starts.

Halflifefan123 · 2021-05-11T05:13:01+00:00

Why are you in an LTR? You gay?

Youngyoda89 · 2021-05-11T12:34:08+00:00

Chop her off like karate. You’ll never get over it. Go find you something that’s less used up. Trust me it’s out there if you know where to look.

Title	Can't get over LTR's past.
Author	csh82019
Upvotes	44
Comments	109
Date	May 10, 2021 8:27 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/n9f672/cant_get_over_ltrs_past/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/cant-get-over-ltrs-past.757833 https://theredarchive.com/post/757833

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