How Does the Average Man Struggle SO Much With Dating Women?

IXseed · 2020-10-26T22:40:15+00:00

Honestly it's all lack of experience. It's kinda a dice roll but it usually stems from how you are in high school. You either date around and learn to get good at it, or you just kinda meh your way through dating and relationships and thats the only time you have to get it developed. So now you got guys that need to absorb all that shit they missed out on in HS

embar5 · 2020-10-26T21:37:15+00:00

I'll give you my story. Indian American kid, few friends in high school. When I started actively pursuing girls a backturn around the first word would be typical.

It took strong finances, lifting, and other fixes to turn things around. Even now some of my peers still have it far easier with less effort.

Take away the advantages you listed and it becomes real clear that it's not just mindset. You have a lot of passives that gave you an early boost.

St31nway · 2020-10-26T21:25:29+00:00

Society has morphed men into soft pussies who don’t respect themselves. In the upcoming years as less and less men respect themselves, you will see women become entitled simply because they are women. This is becoming more and more apparent as the years go by.

Recently I saw a video of a man emptying out his ATM machine while his “woman” told him over and over again how much of a pussy he was and he fucking liked it. This dude clearly had no respect for himself and was “honored” to be in the presence of a “real life woman.” I think that’s what society is going to become.

Thankfully there are men who still respect themselves and don’t put up with any of the bullshit that women will throw onto them. These men will be slaying while most other men won’t.

IAMNUMBERBLACK · 2020-10-27T01:54:50+00:00

I’m honestly triggered by how stupid this prompt is.

Hey guys, I’m attractive and had a great life and got plenty of pussy, why cant other’s?

BlondeHornyElf · 2020-10-26T22:34:27+00:00

i'd say it's a combo of:

- money/career problems

- feminized culture that punishes masculinity

- social media tilting the power in favor of women

VSelf47 · 2020-10-27T00:23:28+00:00

Imagine growing up on Disney movies.

Imagine growing up watching Rom-Coms

Imagine hearing everyone that you don’t have to change nothing about yourself.

Imagine hearing that “love will find a way”

Imagine thinking that you have to get to know a girl and that love will automatically blossom, just like in the movies right?

Imagine hearing “Don’t worry, the right person will come eventually”

Combine that with parents that give you shit for hugging a girl.

Combine it with religious parents.

That will result in a frameless, virgin, incel confused about why everyone seems to “get it” while he is masturbating to porn.

That’s me. I’m sure I’m not the only one whose history is similar. TRP was the first time I felt like I understood the game and I’m eternally grateful to have found it. I’m still not yet where I want to be, but I’m far away from that guy I used to be.

anyJose · 2020-10-27T03:20:26+00:00

The reason the average man fails with woman is because HIS AVERAGE. Looks is indeed the most important thing, I know good looking guys that are huge beta male simps and they’re getting laid with 9s and 10s plus they don’t have to take them to dinner. Red pill teaches us to “focus on your purpose, if she doesn’t give you sex on the third date ghost her, and pass her shit tests” Really good looking guys don’t know shit about that, they don’t know what a “shit test” is or about the third date rule because they don’t even need to take a girl on a date women usually open their legs on the moment she meets a chad. That’s a fact Chads don’t know about shit tests because of a woman is really attracted to you she won’t shit test you she’ll just open her legs the moment you take her to a place where no one can see you. Women break rules for chads and make them for average/ugly men.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2020-10-27T00:45:58+00:00

The only thing you really need to do to get pussy is to de-value it in your head so that your frame is that most women are beneath you.

I was a champion swimmer. To me, swimming is easy - nothing easier. I cannot imagine that there are people who cannot swim. Yet, to people who cannot swim, merely surviving in the water is a challenge.

And so it goes.

laserdicks · 2020-10-27T01:03:55+00:00

The sexual revolution happened within two generations. Our parents didn't teach us how to deal with women unrestrained by law or religion because it hadn't happened yet.

roman99789 · 2020-10-26T23:24:06+00:00

Because they won't date their SMV or below. Virtually any guy could have desperate 2s or 3s lined up outside their door. If you're a 5 but anything below 7 is off your radar then you'll be an incel.

AltruisticBeautiful7 · 2020-10-26T23:05:14+00:00

1- Appearence/behaviour-shaming troughout school by other people leads the guy to be certain he is below everybody, then it's reinforced trough life cause he sees other dudes getting the girl he "loved" and yadayada. So you watch the movies, in the movies the good guy get the girl, and the idiot do not. Then you go to the real life, you don't get the girl you like, but the other dude is smashing her. What does that make you? The idiot from the movie ofc. Then he goes on...

2- "It's ok to be weak" culture is thrown at him when he looks help (ie all mainstream self-help and media shit), reinforcing the results he have, which means? He must be definetly a piece of shit

3- Then Newton's law: Inertia. The guy don't want to use his money and time to be in the "superficial world" as our "good people" say (i do mean looks and stuff), but he knows deep down that he is not a piece of shit, so something is wrong. So he rather become a self-entitled-incel and believe not that he's below everyone, but that he is so above that everyone else is doomed but him, so he removes himself and go bitch about it in youtube channels, instead of checking his premisses.

As the joker said, all it takes its a push... Not uncommon to happen everyday during childhood, then escalate and feeds from the bs our society offers.

Yes it's a projection answer by myself, because i'm that guy, who even listened from GIRLSin college "i don't understand why you never date", and similarities. The first time someone "removed a bag for me to sit on a chair to eat" (college) i was 19 and almost cried, cause up to then in school they would rather lemme eat in the floor and pretend i was a beggar. Growing up in a small town, for ages in a school like this, it does become your "entire world" and you rather be a ghost. If it wasn't for that book 'the game', RSD and AMS and other stuff i would be in the 3 step.

Help the idiots.

kcazburg · 2020-10-26T23:18:55+00:00

This comes off as less of a genuine question, and more of an excuse for you to humble brag about how much pussy you get.

Jay-G · 2020-10-27T01:57:59+00:00

From my perspective I would have to say that it comes down to an abundance of dopamine sources, poor upbringings, and lack of discipline (which would also fall under poor upbringing).

What’s the point in trying to get laid when one can sit at home, watch porn and jerk off and simulate sex with no interactions with a woman. They then throw away the cum sock and eat cup cakes and play video games. Their brains aren’t conditioned to reward themselves with hard work, their accustomed and dependent on dopamine to survive. The reason their brains are programmed this way is based off of a poor upbringing. Most likely no father figure, or shitty fathers. There was no raising them with values and morals. They weren’t taught to respect themselves. Respecting yourself comes with maintaining your body by exercising, being strong, eating right, disciplining yourself to eat vegetables and meat rather than candy. Sweets are a reward once in awhile after you have set out on a goal and accomplished it, not a snack to stuff your face between rounds of call of duty. They don’t respect their own bodies, so how could a woman. They have no value or worth so they feel they have nothing to offer women so why bother.

When I just graduated high school I was friends with this super beta guy. I tried to get him out of his shell and do some hard work and realize there were other things than playing video games and jerking off all day. I took him to the gym one day and did a simple warm up drill. Push ups, run 50ft, sit ups. After the warm up he puked and never stepped foot in a gym again. Maybe you could make the argument I over worked him, but I don’t see it that way. This was an important moment in his life where I can see clear failure and what ultimately made him the beta he is today. He could either look at how out of shape he was and get it in gear while he’s in the prime of his life, or he could see that it’s too hard and quit. He then went on to work the same job as a cashier in a grocery store that he had in high school for years to come. He never moved out of his parents house, he never got laid, got a girlfriend, got a group of friends, or got any hobby other than playing video games. Idk what he’s up to now since I’ve moved states, but that’s just an example of why some people struggle. They just have no desire.

Ryzza778 · 2020-10-26T23:31:30+00:00

Social media game ruined it .Women have tons of options now they can get dick at a touch of a button

king_crimson_002 · 2020-10-27T00:32:23+00:00

[deleted]

PickUpScientist · 2020-10-27T00:51:28+00:00

Based on your name and experiences, I will assume you grew up in the 70s. Believe it or not, society can change over time. You say the average person has zero issues getting laid, and yet here is this sub. Read some of materials in the side bar. As women get exposed to more options through Tinder, Instagram, and other forms of social media, they get pickier and pickier.

cydestiny · 2020-10-27T03:31:27+00:00

Because when a guy post a photo, he gets 10 likes while when a lady does that however, she gets more than 50.

Of course this is just a simple analogy, when you look into it, you'll realize that masculinity is a losing its purpose, what value can masculinity provide when a feminine figure is more superior, according to social media, the most consumed legalized drug.

Most man nowadays don't struggle with dating woman but they are looking to date that ONE perfect woman right off bat. When you play the game with cuffs tied to your legs, of course you struggle, you are at the mercy of the opponent.

exscionewhuman · 2020-10-27T04:08:12+00:00

If you are lucky enough to meet others outside your bubble, you realize there are other universes, completely different from your own. Not right or wrong, not black or white, uncountable colors. Every person is different and unique. There is this whole world of mental health issues you don't see. You bring up being deformed, unnatural and not healthy. That's going on all the time. Things you take for granted. Strong men, subjected to some of the worst things life has to offer. You are thinking of pussy because you put pussy on a pedestal. You can buy pussy. You can't buy the things that really make us grow as people. You can't buy friendship, and love. You can't buy you respecting yourself. The things that really last and have value. Widen your perspective and realize your life is only a tiny facet, one brief sparkle, in this diamond.

If you want men to be strong you have to support them when they are at their weakest. Don't take for granted the people who made you who you are.

BorrowedSunshine · 2020-10-27T00:57:04+00:00

A lot of guys lack pre-selection, a good social group, and guidance. I built up my SMV and got most of my success from cold approach. I love my friends to death but they weren’t helping me get pussy

antariusz · 2020-10-27T02:13:46+00:00

I was a virgin until 25 (13 years ago), and I can confirm, I was definitely putting pussy on a pedestal.

And like other people alluded to, I did absolutely nothing in High School which led to missed opportunities in my early 20s because I was even aware that I was being hit on, or I would be awkward when it happened... Now I don't miss opportunity.

ChadBreeder1 · 2020-10-27T07:29:12+00:00

It’s because very few men have an abundance mindset because very few men have abundance (that is, in options of women to choose from). It’s the whole 80/20 rule with dating. Therefore when these guys get a shot they just simp and go full BP. Look at what IG has turned into, we now have what used to be a solid 4 girl (maybe a soft 5 on a good day, at best) who truly believes in her mind that she’s a solid 8.5 or soft 9. This is largely due to said BP guys and simps. Although, other contributing factors include makeup and FaceTune-ing their pics to the point where I believe even without the BP guys and simps they would believe that they are way higher SMV than they would have historically been valued. It’s a weird time to be alive for men and I don’t believe the male psyche has evolved to be able to distinguish a solid 4 from a solid 8.5 due to the tactics the girls are using nowadays. Crazy to think that women don’t even have to work out to be in the top 20% of women, all they have to do is not be fat (and almost all of them somehow find this challenging, at least in the US.). Sad.

heyyy-kiddo · 2020-10-27T08:08:02+00:00

Ahh...let me let you in my life's story. Ok...I'm 21. Growing up I was an introvert and somehow my parents fucked me up by always looking after me to the extreme. I basically didn't hang out much and never had a friend over untill I was 16. They never explained how life works and other stuff. My friends had to teach me what the swear words were and to stand up on my own.

Fast forward I'm kind of lagging behind others in the social skills department. This includes flirting with the girls I like or just not beeing so tense around people. Don't get me wrong,I have no problems approaching any topics with any of the genders ,but when it comes to romantic stuff or how to flatter or flirt with a girl I'm downright horrible.

I always tought I needed to go out more if I wanted to offset this.But never went to a bar alone. If I go I still lack the 'experience' to enjoy myself. How do you talk to a girl for example that sits at the table near you? If I just go to her I'm bound to turn everything in a cringe fest. I've had some 2 night stands at the University club parties ,but never a relationship.

I'm fairly good looking(according to my friends and a few female friends I can trust) however I'm socially 'crippled'. Tried Tinder,got matches however nothing came out. I think because my conversations were dull even tho I tried to be polite and look for common interests to talk about. Even when I tried to became more agressive with regards to sex things didn't to change.

I think most guys that have troubles dating are having communication problems not due to apparence or other stuff.

I now try to make time to go clubbing or to a bar and get my ass into unknown ground so I can get some social experience and learn how to flirt and talk to the girls I'm interested in(and actually talk about something that is not mundane,and let her know you are interested...not the same way I talk to my female friends and guys). Any tips? And sorry for the long post.

i-am-the-prize · 2020-10-27T12:45:55+00:00

because of the corollary added at the end of Rollo's rule #6:

Iron Rule of Tomassi #6 Women are utterly incapable of loving a man in the way that a man expects to be loved.

he updated to:

“Women are incapable of loving men in a way that a man idealizes is possible, in a way he thinks she should be capable of.”

specifically, the conclusion: only your mother will love you like you idealize is possible. AND if your mother was a narcissist, you will never have been loved like you think you should be.

I posit: there are more narcissistic women in the post feminist world than before. Artificially inflated egos and narcissistic tendencies followed. Ergo: this produced more needy men (See NNMNG for an explanation on the relationship between a man with unresolved mommy-issues and neediness and covert contract living).

How to fix? Follow Whisper's lead. From: https://archive.is/oEjFX

" Women are capable of love. They are capable of self-sacrifice. They are capable of devotion. But to receive it, you must abandon ideals from your mother. You must put away childish things. You must stop expecting women to sympathize with you or be concerned for your safety or welfare. Instead, you must decide for yourself what your needs are, and demand them as a condition of your protection and care. "

prettyawsm · 2020-10-27T02:18:51+00:00

Its just experience maybe and everything is done via social networking where people are totally fake. I dont know how many times I been swiping on tinder and telling myself holy shit this girl is way outta my league. Meeting her up later on only to realise its just pics and make up.

Jack_ofall_Trades85 · 2020-10-27T05:11:41+00:00

Then these incels blame feminism, libtards, media, disney, the sun, the time of day etc, everything and everybody except their pathetic self.

You need to lift, speak properly and just NGAF and you’re set.

Rocketdave47 · 2020-10-27T06:41:58+00:00

Its conditioning really.

Lack of experience normally due to boys being separated from girls socially from young,

Then there's the brainwashing of how guys perceive themselves or how they perceive girls to be.

ChronoChrazeObliveon · 2020-10-27T07:45:48+00:00

You literally answered your own question in the post.

rugged79 · 2020-10-27T08:59:24+00:00

The answer is: they don't.

Just in America the fact that the percentage of dudes that are overweight and non-action oriented is higher. Other countries don't have this problem for the most part, except a few places like Japan.

Also in certain first-world countries, feminism and Metoo can be a factor. It's like dating a bag of salt. Dipped in doo doo.

Add in addiction to social media, the fact that a lot of modern women can't cook, and increased expectations towards men while Black Chyna makes 17 million dollars a month on OnlySimps and it becomes a recipe for disaster.

So yeah. I don't think it's really a problem for the average dude to get laid. It's just that the average chick is becoming more repulsive by the day.

Dimenzije90 · 2020-10-27T09:22:05+00:00

Lmao dude, you just said you are a 7 with social status and a good job. Thats not an average bloke my friend.

Although i do think that guys don't really have the guts to improve them selves so they indulge in their comfort shitty lives.

getinthevan315 · 2020-10-27T12:32:56+00:00

I really think it’s how you were raised. Did your parents teach you manners? Did you play team sports? Did you have friends at school? If you didn’t, did you have a job where you learned to talk to people? If the answers to these questions are yes, you may be ahead of the average person. There are people growing up right now who cannot socialize and need a keyboard to get their points across.

2020-10-27T15:13:16+00:00

You don't know the nice guy syndrome then. It's a curse, i literally can't be anything but nice, even if the person i'm speaking to is mean to me!!! I'm like a 6 and never seen a vigina irl even though i'm 26..

forgotten_orc · 2020-10-26T22:32:52+00:00

If you got pussy so easily why are we talking on the redpill forums?

Rock_Granite · 2020-10-27T00:59:54+00:00

I was a cute kid in college

Well duh. You are probably tall as well. Of course you don't have problems w/ girls.

What a stupid post.

Jdamoftruth · 2020-10-27T00:34:53+00:00

How Does the Average Man Struggle SO Much With Dating Women?

I'm above average and I struggled like hell. Still do I'm vanilla settings sometimes and dating apps.

Social anxiety and a lack of game hurt.

I just don't get how these guys can suck so much at dating

Dating and getting girls isn't intrinsic. I could say the same thing about lifting weights.

Texan2116 · 2020-10-27T01:13:30+00:00

Its been said a hundred times...Confidence.. In high school, I was the dork who barely got any attention, and then it was from "lower caste" type girls..but basically, I was their equal. I grew up lower income(not poor to be fair) our house was a dump, and I weighed maybe 100 lbs at graduation. After high school, I got into a friend group, that was into dirtbiking, and I gained some muscle, also got a decent job. When I met my wife, I was at this point , more on a normal level, and she was really only my second GF. After my divorce some years later, its been pretty easy to date when I want to. And yeah, I realize on OLD profiles..chicks from the rich part of town, are not often interested...but plenty left for me nonetheless.

pdiggs1500 · 2020-10-27T04:01:39+00:00

20 years ago, I was that guy. It's not as simple as you put it.
Lack of Experience, Upbringing, Cultural, Drugs/Alcohol, Social Dynamics, there are so many issues that can mess up young men.

Believe me, I wanted sex, I simped like fuck to get sex, and in the rare case when I got some, I didn't know how to handle myself afterward, or I would be so drunk that I couldn't get it up.

When I look back at my youth, I had so many opportunities to get laid or get into great relationships, but without direction/experience, it's like running around without a brain.

Good4Chun · 2020-10-27T04:18:19+00:00

It takes money to make money. It takes muscle to build more muscle. It takes dating women to date women. When a resource is abundant, well you know.

RedwallAllratuRatbar · 2020-10-27T07:21:00+00:00

i was pissing in bottles and still got one 7.0 per month

GulpAndCry · 2020-10-27T08:00:35+00:00

in which country do you live?

VojvodaSrpski · 2020-10-27T10:09:53+00:00

Average man is a dork.

strongsovereign · 2020-10-27T12:43:17+00:00

If I was in America during college, it would be a easier tenfold to sleep around. So much depends on where you’ve been raised and where you come from. If you live in an exceptionally small neighbourhood or region, where girls tend to be conservative in excess due to reputation and gossip going around, the guys usually have a much harder time just ‘sleeping around’.

I was brought up in a ridiculously small neighbourhood in the Mediterranean, and logistics were and still are dreadful to this day there. I moved out when I was about to turn 20 in one of the big capitals of Europe, and then it hit me how different it is. It is not always so much about how men suck so bad as it is about the context in which it is happening. I get positive reinforcement almost on the daily by fellow men and would probably fall under the 98th percentile in terms of phsyicality, I know where I stand and am grateful by it but even so, if you are in the wrong context, the game gets much harder, and you got more odds stacked against you. To compound it, consider that 80% of the dudes in college are simps, they never heard about game, they are delusional in regards to vetting women and have no sense of dignity.

When you were in college, things probably weren’t this bad, and they are getting worse. If you went to a uni in America, you probably struck gold of you’ve got physicality because I have spoke to people who have had the experience and they all say the same thing, you would not need much game if you won the genetic lottery. In Europe though, without question, you have got more odds against you and you must accept this.

Comprehending all this, I do not find it appalling that guys, including the high smv ones are struggling with women but we must always remember the context in which it happens. When you look back everything seems so simpler and you wonder how you could have messed it up so badly, but the reality is that it all seems to fall in line when younhave figured out the game, not so much before.

Some people still forget that trp is a gem that the minority are aware of, that is why knowing is half the battle. We have got to remember that about 80% of the men out there never read an ounce on sexual dynamics, even though they might have the experience, which still left them as it found them for most of them. Many never grow out of their blue pill tendencies due to how the culture is being manipulated.

This is a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing for us, ofcourse, because it is less competition. It is a tragic curse to masculinity, however, and there is no denying that. For the ones in the matrix, it is perpetual frustration, for the ones beyond it, it is acceptance and action.

We must also learn to leave the past alone, too often, we keep going back and feeling tremendous guilt out of missed opportunities, and potential fucks we might have overlooked, but isn’t this a form of attachment to the women and to your pleasure? Let go of it, you don’t need it. There are so many of them, if you’re in the right place. The journey of peaks and valleys is not the same for everyone, and if you have stumbled upon this treasure, atleast you are doing one major thing right, and that changes the whole trajectory of the future even if what follows is numerous failures, they are blessings.

tight_fucking_pussy · 2020-10-27T15:35:30+00:00

Just push up your SMV. Don't padestalize pussy, padestalize your vission. Read Sidebar when you need some guidance. The nature will take care of the rest.

whiteindia · 2020-10-27T21:45:59+00:00

Most men aren't fine with themselves.

Ericsam21 · 2020-10-28T11:33:52+00:00

There’s literally a million apps for dating. Get some good pics, slide in some DMs and get that pussy.

Joe_Doblow · 2020-10-27T01:05:44+00:00

Basically you are normal. Normal dudes get a decent amount of ass in their lifetime. The incels just aren’t normal guys

beardestbird · 2020-10-27T00:44:42+00:00

Honestly I think majority of men are just out of shape. If you’re in shape there’s no way you’re not at least getting some pussy. It may not be hot chicks but a fit body will get you somewhere

I’m not even in my best shape and i have options. It’s just options I don’t want

kreuzbergawitc · 2020-10-26T22:02:07+00:00

Following

Uruuk · 2020-10-27T01:00:34+00:00

They have never done NOFAP

Title	How Does the Average Man Struggle SO Much With Dating Women?
Author	OttoVonBismark71
Upvotes	122
Comments	129
Date	October 26, 2020 8:54 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/jin1wj/how_does_the_average_man_struggle_so_much_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-does-the-average-man-struggle-so-much-with.734232 https://theredarchive.com/post/734232

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