I don’t know what to do with LTR.

Metalgear222 · 2020-05-27T17:25:06+00:00

She feels that I don’t love her and thinks of her as an afterthought.

Determine if its a comfort test or shit test.

Tone is sweet and slightly stressed? Comfort.

Tone is shitty and snappy? Shit.

Body language is open and inviting? Comfort.

Body Language is closed and stand offish? Shit.

She asks you when you are just lazing on the couch? Comfort.

She asks right before your planned leaving time for dinner with your male friends? Shit.

Shit-tests you should already know how to handle. Comfort tests are actually even easier to pass. Just reassure through a kiss on the forehead or a super passionate kiss. No words are best in that situation.

Diche_Bach · 2020-05-27T19:45:21+00:00

I'm over 70, on my second wife. Had scores of strange over the years. I'm going to give you some advice that most of these "red pills" dingbats cannot even comprehend because they mostly have not lived long enough, nor have they actually achieved a high-degree of self-actualization.

If you do not wish to spend the rest of your life with this person, and do NOT imagine you would be miserable without her, you are doing no one any favors by staying in the relationship. Oh sure, some random strange pussy can be fun, but eventually it will become more toxic than helpful. Same for a couple LTRs with someone who is not really a great fit. But we all deserve to find that great fit with whom we can spend the rest of our lives. Sounds like your current partner doesn't fit that bill, otherwise, her wanting more attention from you would not feel annoying to you.

First: be happy with your life on your own. Then determine what it is you need in a person you would spend the rest of your life with. Now keep your eyes open for a person with those traits, and accept that you may never find them. I found that by doing this, I DID find them.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2020-05-27T20:20:08+00:00

If you randomly give her flowers (which can be a loose bouquet from a florist), every so often, and not on Valentine's or her birthday, you will save yourself some (but not all) hassle.

Florists are usually women or gay guys and just say that you want a loose bouquet that for your girlfriend that she can put in a vase and feel happy about. If she has some favorites - gerbera daisies or whatever - mention those. Tell them what you want to spend and let them work with it, ex. "Hi, I have about $25 {or whatever} to spend today, and I want a loose bouquet, and my gf digs {whatever}" If you want to make them chuckle, you can add, "There is no 'special occasion' and I didn't do anything stupid that I'm trying to get her to forgive me for."

If you don't ask, they will ask if she has favorites or if it's an occasion some sort - I used to say "Condolences for a positive pregnancy test", but not so much now. If you chat them up a bit, and give them smth to work with they will (often enough) go all out for you, because florists are in the florist game for the $$$; it's one of those things that you have to want to be in.

Also, so few guys bring flowers now, that she should dig it (different for you because: LTR, but in general). Her girlfriends will be impressed, which is good for you. I used to have an out-of-town OLTR, and I would bring her a single red rose when I would visit. It counted as foreplay.

4thAndLong · 2020-05-27T17:11:18+00:00

With LTR's you gotta give them some comfort. Can't be a robot as much as you think you can. Just turn up the comfort a little bit. Maybe more than one date a month and be a little more spontaneous with random things that couples do.

spedoid · 2020-05-27T17:38:19+00:00

Once a month is okay for dates, but not great. I would honestly take her out once every two weeks if she's being a good girlfriend. If she cooks every day and is well behaved, take her out every other week. It can be at a place you like, or something fun that you wanna do. Dates are honestly pretty fun, I love eating out. You could also watch a TV show together and order takeout on Saturday nights, or something like that.

2020-05-27T17:08:44+00:00

If she does all this for you as any woman should, treat her a little,

Book a table at a nice restaurant, send her a text saying “Wear something nice we’re going out tonight”

Not saying you need to buy flowers but if you care about this woman and she’s doing what she should I see no problem in some sort of comfort.

Cyclophosphoamide · 2020-05-27T19:33:16+00:00

First of all DONT change how you are at all, being productive and busy in your day to day life IS exactly the reason she’s still cooking, cleaning and giving you sex whenever you want 3 years into the relationship. She knows you’re higher value and she wants to please you.

However girls can break and a full 100% alpha is not ideal for a relationship. Try to give her some comfort here and there as others mentioned, but don’t go overboard. Maybe plan a nice date with her if she’s acting well.

Subutai_Baghatur · 2020-05-27T20:18:15+00:00

sex when I want

This is an important part. Is it “sex on demand” in terms of she said you can fuck her whenever you want and she enjoys it or is it that she lays there dry and takes it, hoping it to be over? If the former, you need to increase comfort immediately after but if it’s the latter then you need to increase your dread while making your escape plans, if that doesn’t improve within a few months then leave her.

peachez200 · 2020-05-27T19:36:50+00:00

Have you tried involving her in your projects and hobbies?

Natural_Singer · 2020-05-27T19:15:44+00:00

she's bored essentially is what she's saying.

sure, making dinner, helping w/ her studies - all good stuff. But in an LTR - she misses that "oh shit im fucking dating a rock star" feeling that she first got with you when yall used to do a lot of fun shit together.

remember when you guys used to go on interesting dates? Whens the last time you took her out to an amusement park (obv its covid but u get what i mean) or even cooked her up something special just for her (even if secretly it was really fucking easy for u).

make little future plans w/ her about visiting an art museum together or something you'd both enjoy once covids over.

If honestly this is not enough for her and she just takes it for granted, then its time to move on. But you can't be at the base level of providing no stimulus and then wondering why she's not all over your dick

beardestbird · 2020-05-27T20:44:02+00:00

Holy fuck I asked this question literally yesterday. Ever since I realized red pill is more about focusing on passions and not women I’ve been busy focusing on my goals. Girl I’m talking to ends up seeing this. Is probably even more attracted to me and now is mad I don’t care as much.

You can probably find some gems in my post but I think this is a sign you’re doing the right thing. Idk what to do about leaving her or not but you’re on your purpose

BlueBrye · 2020-05-27T19:12:37+00:00

Iron Rule of Tomassi #4 NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months.

poortrait100 · 2020-05-27T21:39:24+00:00

I sometimes feel like I’m a lost redditor whose stumbled into the relationship advice sub with some of these comments

Lateralanouncer · 2020-05-27T19:29:13+00:00

Your doing it right. She should complement you awesome life. Now. From my experience Most girls are boring as fuck no hobbies etc, Netflix chill and sex is about all they know. so she likely relies on you for entertainment and excitement. She may just be board.

oooKenshiooo · 2020-05-27T23:10:46+00:00

She is insecure.

Insecure women need constant reassurance, and no matter how much affection you pour over them, it will evaporate within a second. You need to teach her to become more stable. Maybe help her find a hobby that she enjoys on her own. My LTR likes to paint and do yoga - and it gets her to shup up while I do my stuff.
When she is done she comes back refreshed and chipper and dealing with her is

a pleasure instead of a chore.

BlackjointnerD · 2020-05-27T20:32:57+00:00

Tricky situation...Iv been there...If she is really the great girl you say she is then just create something for her since your so creative...Far as the arguments go dont even bring them up or apologize about anything...If this is a comfort thing its a simple fix...Spend like 5-10 minutes of focused attention on her today, kiss her, play with her hair, tell her something sweet and then go work on what I told you and take her out twice a month going forward....3 years is awhile man, entering that family talk territory....Other than that DONT CHANGE ANYTHING ELSE..Stay on your purpose and if anything go harder. Cheers

AncientDragons · 2020-05-27T21:24:51+00:00

Take her out twice a month for awhile and see if she’s happier. Live a little.

PureFlames · 2020-05-28T00:39:10+00:00

In general TRP principles are for plates or short relationships, not really long term relationships. I feel like many people here havnt been in a relationship for 3 years so dont realize this

comcain · 2020-05-28T01:00:17+00:00

I disagree. Flowers are good stuff. I buy them for friends, plates, lovers, whatever. They make girl's eyes light up in a good way.

Cheers

crimson_capsule · 2020-05-28T04:44:36+00:00

Evaluate your situation. The sex you get, is it always the same positions, for the same amount of time, in the same places? Then take her on a walk and fuck her in the woods. Bend her over your project car and go to town. Go for a drive and fuck her overlooking some mountains. Tell her to blow you after getting groceries in the parking lot. Make things thrilling for YOU and her.

She's starting fights and drama? That's because you aren't. Control the fights and drama and start it on your own. Women need the drama and she's not getting it so she's starting it with you. You have to do it in a controlled and planned manner and if you don't know how then just start with more playful teasing. Ride her ass about something that annoys you but in a harmless way. Once it starts to get to an emotional point for her, walk away. Yeah you might have to sleep on the couch or some shit but accept it knowing that you won't have to put up with her random bullshit arguments. She will get over it.

seducter · 2020-05-28T05:56:33+00:00

From my experience and all my friends, this is standard. There’s always some underlying thought that, even when you’ve assured her there’s no issue, it will build into her mind until it rips you both apart. For me, it was marriage. She wouldn’t stop with the fights over getting married because she was insecure about all her friends being married and wanted all my time. Even after I stupidly assured her we’d be getting married, she doubled down on when etc. She ended up crossing a line and I ended it. It’s a shame they let their insecurities destroy their relationships.

RedIsBestColour2 · 2020-05-28T07:59:21+00:00

She is just bored. 99 percent of women problems are due to them being bored. Of guys like you who think so great of themselves. Do not be offended though. It just what it is. She's bored of the life with you most likely. She isn't having fun. You have fun she's not. You get sex, she wants tingles. Show her tingles.

when_its_too_late · 2020-05-28T12:03:15+00:00

Look up the book, the 5 love languages

GGrub8 · 2020-05-28T06:40:50+00:00

Look at all this bluepilled advice on this topic. You people are bluepilled pussies who pretend to be redpilled, even though we've been telling you time and again that you can't use RP teachings for your BP goals.

FightForYourWay · 2020-05-27T18:06:09+00:00

Hold the fuck up... does anyone else see whats going on here? you’re a reasonably happy young man but this post mostly talks about how she feels, she feels, she feels.

Dude... fuck that! You’re doing great. She’s still around, she’s pressuring you because you let her, but you can fix that with a definitive moment when you explain to her that her behavior is from that point on.. unacceptable! (Then throw her a bone after).

It seems like You get to do what you love and bang her on command - for some reason whenever women see they’re giving up this combo they typically try to infuse some drama.

Moving forward, it seems like you don’t give her enough homework. She seems a bit too comfortable bothering you. You don’t request enough out of her, you get me? You’re not holding her accountable for becoming a better person, and shes getting bored (making her abusive).

WIA20XX · 2020-05-27T19:23:14+00:00

3 years? Stop being dense.

If she ain't the one, cut her loose.

AngTheEphemeral · 2020-05-27T19:16:28+00:00

I'm not sure to what degree the first part of this video applies to your situation, but on the off chance it helps, here goes. This video talks about "amount of communication", not exactly what you're asking about / I think it might conceptually apply, but I'm not sure:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3tCGE6Y2Og

Title	I don’t know what to do with LTR.
Author	isthatsuperman
Upvotes	79
Comments	87
Date	May 27, 2020 4:57 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/grnh8j/i_dont_know_what_to_do_with_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-dont-know-what-to-do-with-ltr.668593 https://theredarchive.com/post/668593

Comments