Neediness. Thirstiness. Attachment to the outcome. Needing her to like you. Needing the validation.

Time and time again, I see a guy start talking to a girl. Sheโ€™s into him, things are going great, but then he will do one of two things:

  1. He will try overly hard to make her like him. He will try to make her laugh with silly, clowney jokes. He will try to get physical when itโ€™s obviously not appropriate.
  2. He will be too scared to mess it up. In his mind, this is the one girl that likes him, and that paralyzes him. Any move could mess it up. So he stays in his shell, too anxious to make any moves or show any part of his personality.

These two things taint the relaxed vibe.

Overcompensation creates an awkwardness.

Over-shyness fizzles out the interaction.

Your sheer ability to assess the vibe is compromised if you are too thirsty.

You will think that sheโ€™s not into when she actually is. You will think you canโ€™t take ballsy action when you actually should.

How do you solve this? Be okay with yourself no matter what happens.

Stop seeking her reactions. Focus on yourself. Be okay whether she likes you or not.

Realize that thereโ€™s nothing to win, and nothing to lose.

If you get her, great, youโ€™ll probably be thirsty again in a couple days.

If you donโ€™t, great, you went for it, did your best, and nothing bad actually happened.

Being in limbo is the worst position.

Accept that not every girl will like you, and that you canโ€™t get every girl. If you accept the burden of rejection, you will also be rewarded with the prize of success.

When you notice yourself being overly adoring about any one girl, catch yourself, center yourself, and detach from that mindset.

Be in love with your actions. Be in love with the progress youโ€™re making. Put emphasis on your actions and intentions, not the results or outcomes.

Best of luck you guys,

-Sean H.