Chemistry doesn’t exist without physical escalation.

throwmiamivelvet · 2024-09-10T23:22:20+00:00

You got it wrong. She made up her mind the 1st x minutes of interaction with you whether you are platonic or non-platonic material. You are associating your subsequent interaction with result. That's incorrect causality.

She had time to kill and wanted some free validation/attention/intellectual and emotional stimulation. So, she went out with you for 3 hours.

I usually have short dates (~1 hour or less) until attraction is established. If I do dates longer than 2-3 hours, it better be something I enjoy doing anyways. Else, I would feel it's a complete waste of time.

Necessary-Jaguar4775 · 2024-09-10T22:42:28+00:00

That's the way it is bro. I once got suckered in by a girl, who I had a great rapport with, that 'I could never date you because we've never had a deep conversation. I then went for the deep conversqtion route on the next date and it dried up the atmosphere faster than the sahara desert and she was very clearly turned off and became very unreceptive aftee that.

Best to keep it light, emotional highs, escalation and confident.

_notaxation · 2024-09-10T23:32:59+00:00

Unfortunately, you learned a tough lesson many men have had to learn. Always escalate.

Back in the old PUA days, it was advised (depending on who you learned from) to always go for the pull. Even if it's on the first date. The reason was to avoid situations like this. Going for the pull, even if it's on the first date, removes any ambiguity if she likes you or not. At least within reason. If you don't you run the risk of playing this game of does she like me or not? Guess what she won't tell you. You'll spend an endless amount of time over analyzing the situation instead of moving on to the next girl. So next time don't leave it up to her, be bold and just go for it.

Wing_Inevitable · 2024-09-11T00:03:19+00:00

Chemistry doesn’t exist without physical escalation.

I’m about to blow your mind - Sexual tension.

Actually any type of tension would work.

She was extremely keen on asking me questions about my life.

As bad as this sounds - this is her distracting you from escalating.

got really deep with the conversation.

Fuck.

Tried light touches here and there to break the touch barrier but just didn’t happen.

Was she distracted when you were doing it ?

I definitely didn’t feel like I was off my game.

That is the trick. You feel good being distracted. Otherwise it wouldn’t work.

Truly, words absolutely don’t mean shit if you don’t at least kiss or fuck.

True. Fucked but true.

God it’s so stupid.

Completely agree.

AngryGoose21 · 2024-09-11T00:58:14+00:00

bro my dick has been literally inside girls and I get ghosted. don’t take it too seriously

Jironasaurus · 2024-09-10T23:07:50+00:00

I've been through your scenario many times in the past.

She wasn't interested right from the beginning. So it didn't matter whether you shared vulnerable moments, touched her "the right way" and whatnot. The fact that you tried escalating and she wasn't receptive was your tell-tale sign. With that knowledge, everything else happening on the surface level doesn't matter.

BrutalLee_Honest662 · 2024-09-10T22:43:26+00:00

Sounds like you weren’t her type and she wasn’t attracted to you. If u were everything she liked in a guy and was insanely attracted to you she would’ve done all the escalations..

korokhp · 2024-09-10T23:56:52+00:00

That’s why it’s pointless to share deep stuff about yourself on the first date. First date is for laughs and some convo. Later on deep things are shared to build intimacy, but spitting it all out on first day isn’t building intimacy because you barely know that person. It can also backfire, one girl shared a lot of deep stuff about her past relationships and I just lost interest, I then regretted asking her about it. So in my opinion - no deeps stuff about yourself on first dates. Talk deep stuff about existential topics but not yourself.Also, it’s not necessarily to escalate on first date.

ScottNoWhat · 2024-09-11T00:02:45+00:00

I think us blokes just have to get better at "If you're not feeling chemistry just say so"

Fuck walking around for hours trying to initiate touch, should of taken that as the hint to give the ultimatum of "If you're not feeling chemistry just say so?"

And ladies, don't play games. Men should respect your answer and move on, not have a fight to the death with every other suitor to prove their unreciprocated love.

genericriffs · 2024-09-11T01:50:37+00:00

Sounds like a woman. Sounds like she liked the attention and conversation, as women love to talk. On to the next. Surely you can do better than a 36 y/o professor

vitamin-cheese · 2024-09-11T02:20:55+00:00

I’ve had woman, doctors, throw themselves at me on like the third date because I wasn’t making any moves or escalating touch at all.

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-09-10T23:27:37+00:00

Maybe because she’s a professor? Idk but it’s kinda unusual that you had to mention her profession.

During the interaction, did she seem to be lecturing you in a subtle way? Or did you make an effort to disagree with whatever she said? Apart from teasing or playful banter, a slight disagreement to some extent can spark attraction. If that’s the case she might’ve mentally put you like her student or her colleague from the start. So she didn’t leave any rooms for sexual attraction/connection.

But if not then, at least you tried. I keep telling myself “not all women are gonna be attracted to me and that’s fine”.

Datapsyentist22 · 2024-09-10T23:48:13+00:00

Thanks everyone for the comments and insights - just the topic I needed as this shit happened to me recnelt

FirmGuitar5411 · 2024-09-11T00:04:38+00:00

What was your technique of escalating at the beginning you were talking about?

997Gen2 · 2024-09-11T18:50:58+00:00

You spent too much time on the date, If there’s no healthy escalation, playfulness and emotionally charged dialogue where’s she laughing, and being physical it’s time to pull out after about 60 min.

Women are stimulated through emotional stimulation/seduction via playfulness, banter and physical touch within respectful boundaries. Being assertive and displaying masculinity with social intelligence and tact will take you far.

Ask yourself “Was I a man around her” “did I display masculinity” or other traits that may have been emotionally attractive to her.

Maximum-Cover- · 2024-09-10T22:56:36+00:00

She decided, based on the conversation, that she wasn’t interested and thus wasn’t receptive to your physical escalation attempts.

I’m not clear why that makes you assume she’s not direct with her intentions.

Did she tell you she was interested? That she wanted to see you again? That the date went well?

If she didn’t say any of those things she was pretty direct about her intention to not see you again.

Worried-One2399 · 2024-09-11T00:14:26+00:00

Woman who have a logic component to them are bound to have a harder time finding a solution to their single lifestyle. I’m not saying that it’s impossible for them, but it’s much more difficult.

That’s just a known fact, I’m not saying woman shouldn’t go to school. I love an educated woman. I just know that it’s been found they have a harder time w/ finding a S.O and when they do they have to fit a VERY specific mold that they’re trying to find.

Not ur fault, u tried ur best. Sometimes things just don’t work out, & TBH maybe she did u a favor? Looking @ it that way will help u move on

vVintagesnipers · 2024-09-11T07:17:18+00:00

Are you genuinely okay?? With that mindset and behaviour no girl will want you the fuck

testylentil · 2024-09-12T05:56:50+00:00

You could have the exact same date, word for word, action for action with a different woman and she'd be excited to see you again. I wouldn't overthink it.

Physical escalation is helpful but so is baseline interest, which it seems like she did not really have.

casual_teaseOF · 2024-09-11T03:09:05+00:00

It took me a long time to understand this. 100%

No-Preference8767 · 2024-09-11T04:26:19+00:00

Truly, words absolutely don’t mean shit if you don’t at least kiss or fuck. It’s so disappointing that regardless of the age, profession, what they say, it literally does not matter if you do not physically make a move

I'm so confused did you guys talk about fucking each other without physical advances? Or are you saying you had an emotionally deep conversation without physical advances?

Affectionate-Ant4888 · 2024-09-11T06:01:56+00:00

yeap its important lol, I had dates in the past where I dont touch, there are manysubtle ways to break that, it all depends on situation, here are a few to reharse my learning, touch her jewerly, walk with crossed arms the street, tell her, did you know how people walked 200 years ago?, high fives, touch in the shoulder, touching if she is laughing is powerful, and the actual cool stuff I've read but haven't tested yet, get a deck of palm reading cards, show it to her for a while and then tell her, if she wants to have the lines on her hand read, you can throw this in the end after personality test and games, always being playful and games - serious though provoking questions - playful and games - rinse and repeat.

No_Hat9118 · 2024-09-12T00:11:17+00:00

Exactly, words lie, her body language doesn’t. Sounds like u made too many badly timed attempts at physical escalation. But some women are just time wasters in this respect, u probably should have bailed a lot earlier than u did

AromaticPlant8504 · 2024-09-12T08:39:21+00:00

You did make a move though 🤨

RandomBlokeFromMars · 2024-09-11T13:18:18+00:00

there is a reason she is single at 36. red flag.

UnderstandingEvery44 · 2024-09-10T23:18:24+00:00

Okie dokie

Title	Chemistry doesn’t exist without physical escalation.
Author	Ok_Potential359
Upvotes	155
Comments	61
Date	September 10, 2024 10:27 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fdurv9/chemistry_doesnt_exist_without_physical_escalation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/chemistry-doesnt-exist-without-physical-escalation.1530032 https://theredarchive.com/post/1530032

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