trying this sub at a recommendation, really need help 29m

Specialist_Heat6001 · 2022-09-27T06:18:56+00:00

Keep improving yourself and approaching women. You can't do anything else.

23M here , exact same issues with me.

Justh3r3tol3arn · 2022-09-27T08:00:01+00:00

You’re not a bother. Also please understand it’s not too late and taking your life is not the answer! Here are tips to get started and on to your poon slaying days!

1) start dressing nice. This could be any style, just emulate what gets a good positive feedback from women. Browse Pinterest for ideas

2) establish a healthy workout routine. This will build your body and also your self confidence

3) start by talking to anybody you meet and gradually shift to women in day to day enocounters! These little social interactions will compound over time

4) find a perfume that makes you confident and feel good

5) Always try to talk to multiple girls at the same time to kill the possible neediness that comes with texting just one

nanoepoch · 2022-09-27T07:07:42+00:00

Forget all of the advice you're getting here about reading dumb books and instead think about why you feel you're worthless and unlovable, and start there. You're clearly not happy with yourself and that's the first thing that should come first: your happiness.

adritandon01 · 2022-09-27T08:52:15+00:00

Man stop obsessing over women this much.

montanalombardy · 2022-09-27T10:41:22+00:00

Online dating sucks unless you look like a male model
Girls won't flirt with you. They won't approach you.

This is just the way it is for 90% of men.

So what you have to do is socialize, meet new people, approach women and flirt with them.

Gaydame · 2022-09-27T16:34:32+00:00

OK, 2 approaches here.

The practical stuff already suggested by others. Healthy diet, exercise, get new clothes to feel better on the outside, hair cut, groom, etc. try new things, get a hobby you really care about. Creative things you care about too (if you're at the point where you don't care about anything, just pretend to) This seems insignificant but it slowly adds up.
The other branch. And this next bit I can't state strongly enough (just to counteract the other advice on this thread). Your feelings of worthlessness and being unlovable have nothing to do with women. They come from toxic shame and a wounded inner child which comes from some aspect of your childhood. For this you need a therapist. If, for any reason, you can't afford or don't have access to a therapist (although these days it's easier, Better Help, etc) then at least start to read as much as you can about toxic shame, wounded inner child, attachment styles. There's a lot of info out there these days. There's a nice YouTube called "therapy in a nutshell" which can give a good introduction.

The end goal of this is that you grieve your lost child, reconnect with yourself and become whole again.

In short (and I know this from experience), no amount of attention from women will fix this (although I admit it might mask it for a while).

I'm 38 now and was an approach coach for around 5 years (day game, hence the name). I coached 100s of clients and I would say the vast majority had problems of self worth that didn't have anything to do with the women they imagined would make them feel better about themselves.

Good luck!

hotlinehelpbot · 2022-09-27T05:41:33+00:00

If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

USA: 18002738255 US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME

United Kingdom: 116 123

Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860)

Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

incognito3107 · 2022-09-27T08:07:41+00:00

It's all about changing your mindset and enhance your sexual attractiveness. You have a lot of things to learn, mind and body to transform, and get a lot of practice in real life. Start with learning about basic pickup theory, there are plenty of information here.

slumpttx · 2022-09-27T14:17:51+00:00

Bro how do you look? Are you skinny, fat, muscular? Do you have any friends? How many hobbies do you have that you enjoy throughout the week?

All these questions will answer your question on what you need to work on. I’m 22 and I’m 1-2 years down this journey. Used to be lame, now I’m climbing to the top. We have to climb otherwise we would’ve been born as women.

python834 · 2022-09-27T05:53:56+00:00

Get a six pack. If you are still dissatisfied, then you can do what ever you want

https://m.youtube.com/shorts/-OWT-KYb_2U

5_7pickup · 2022-09-27T06:22:51+00:00

if onlin dating (OLD) isn't working then why don't you approach IRL? I'm same age as you and started cold approach 13 months ago. I've made out with 100+ girls and slept with dozens in these 13 months. Before cold approach, I also had no luck with OLD. Tried OLD for 8 years on and off with ZERO success. Never met a girl via OLD.

This is how I got started: https://www.reddit.com/r/1PercentDating/comments/sagseq/what\_it\_took\_for\_me\_to\_finally\_start\_doing\_cold/

revente · 2022-09-27T09:54:14+00:00

how do i get women interested?

There are magic tricks, you need to self improve and keep meeting girls until you find an interested one.

Chunterrr69 · 2022-09-27T12:41:38+00:00

Check out the videos of this youtube channel ... They will definitely help you

elementalheroshadow · 2022-09-27T14:32:51+00:00

[deleted]

-Bana · 2022-09-27T15:06:18+00:00

When you look in the mirror would you want to date yourself? If the answer is no than work on yourself first before even attempting to talk to a woman. You are your own worst enemy, and I’m going to give you some tough love, try to quit using depression as a crutch and start being accountable for all the bad things in your life. The only reason you are where you are is because of you and no one else.

zapadz · 2022-09-27T16:57:10+00:00

Do you deserve love

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1oJcBJhzSo

You are enough

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3-EpyOrjBk

More practical advice:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPCU03Dp8Zw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-jvM3NSs6Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twTrrGiRXtY

grindforthegold · 2022-09-27T18:26:52+00:00

sorry you had a bad experience with this but quite frankly most people here are either straight retarted and just good looking or decent looking with great game and those guys tend not to post too much afte r a while. You’ll probably just get dudes telling you it’s your confidence or something idiotic like that.

it could be. you said you have anxiety. work on that. besides that girls are hard to get. either cold approach indirectly and get good at it or find some hobby or social gathering setting to meet girls. but unless you go back to school or switch to a profession we’re you’re around plenty of girls you’ll just have to cold approach. if you’re are ugly it will be harder. best you can do is grow out facial hair and fix your hair and then maybe wear some lifts and dress better. if you’re ugly going indirect will help you because you won’t get rejected really and you can spam till you find a girl

also get some hobbies that make you likeable. preferably some you enjoy and can join other groups of people that do it. earn good money etc

Crim212 · 2022-09-27T18:51:53+00:00

If you want to be loved, then start by loving yourself. Love yourself enough to have good hygiene, workout, have proper nutritional meals. Love yourself enough to want to better your standing in society ( mostly in terms of a good job and pursuing financial freedom).

If you're going to places that have people with common interests, you should be the one approaching, 9/10 times, guys are the ones who approach and women typically expect guys to approach anyways.

Good luck, and remember, you're only 29. You have a lot of time to improve yourself.

alec457 · 2022-09-27T19:30:28+00:00

Get good at taking rejections. Once you master that it will be easier. It takes so many rejections to finally get to that one yes.

user009818 · 2022-09-27T21:57:18+00:00

In the way you respond to Reddit comments, being your friend seems hard, you come off as very bitter to me. Relax and live a life worth including someone into

MayhemReignsTV · 2022-09-27T11:22:26+00:00

And I’m sure women can read that attitude of yours from 50 miles away. I am serious and not being insulting by telling you you really need to work on yourself first. Women should not even be on your radar right now. Take it from somebody who has learned many things the hard way. And most women generally don’t approach. Doing the approach is what half of the posts here are about. But none of that is going to help you if you’re broken inside. And you can’t expect a woman to fix you.

TruSiris · 2022-09-27T11:28:21+00:00

This isn't the sub for you. You need to improve your sense of self worth by learning ways to heal your trauma and your inner critic. Meditate, goto the gym, learn breathwork, and consciously choose positive thoughts about yourself. Continuing to chase women with your mindset and emotional state will only yield more self loathing. Go inwards.

imanom · 2022-09-27T13:48:05+00:00

So many of you guys are just using this sub as an extension of and in a manner seeking permission to … continue wallowing in your self induced pity party.

Read David Goggins - Can’t hurt me

Grow some fucking nuts and look in the mirror.

Whatever you have / have not been doing ISNT working And sitting around feeling sorry for your self while watching porn and pedistil-izing the concept of a woman loving you back… garbage as fuck.

You MUST be the cause of change. No one else will.

If you had women chasing you… would you give any attention or respect to the woman who …

1) puts you above herself 2) is fat 3) has nothing going in her life 4) scared of her own shadow

I could keep going but LOOK in that mirror and ask yourself… is this person in the mirror attractive to anyone?

Prob not. WHO FUCKKNG CARES. Fuck your self pity.

Learn macros Use my fitness pal to achieve macros Lift heavy (531 for beginners in r/fitness will change you in 6 months) Get MONEY achieve goals Chase success Take a class

Forget about bitches and before you know it

You will look in that mirror in 6-12 months and BE IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF

If you had a host of women to choose from Wouldn’t it be better to choose one or many who are

1) fit 2) smart 3) have a purpose 4) confident

See where I’m going here.

Fuck the internet. Fuck a Reddit pity party

Get on you goddamn grind as a man.

Truth is the world and all women don’t give a fuck about you or your struggle.

Less than 6ft tall, avg looks, bald? Who fucking cares.

Control the vars you can control. Else you just look like a ginormoous pussy

Contango6969 · 2022-09-27T06:13:42+00:00

Read the literature. Start with The Game, while not instructional it should be motivating.

Lmitation · 2022-09-27T14:15:03+00:00

This oozes desperation. Women don't love that. Why do you say you'll never amount to anything? You're only 29, do self work and self improvement first before you focus on trying to bring someone else into your life.

Ok-Marionberry-8669 · 2022-09-27T17:27:18+00:00

Step 1: Men's fashion, just as women like to dress themselves up.

Ben13921 · 2022-09-27T17:44:47+00:00

From this point forward, take accountability for every single thing in your life - even if it’s not your fault.

Your life will change in 3 months.

NinetailsDestruction · 2022-09-27T23:07:20+00:00

Don’t make yourself a victim. Blame only yourself and not women. Also stop trying to get women, you need to fix yourself and be able to love yourself before you can get in a relationship.

beenpimpin · 2022-09-27T12:51:49+00:00

Ok I’ll tell you my secret pick up line that gets any girl you use it on. Just walk up to her and say “roses are red, violets are blue, but all I wanna know is wat dat mouf do”.

Royal_Savagery · 2022-09-27T14:13:43+00:00

Find value in your life. Women are great and it’s a lot of fun getting to know them but you also have to make it fun for them. Do this by being the best version of yourself. Read, exercise, make money, make challenging goals and go and try to get them. You need to attract women so work on being more attractive to the type of women you want

Fussingtonstation · 2022-09-27T14:17:17+00:00

First, you are not worthless. You are absolutely worthy of love. Someone would be grateful to have you in their life. Don’t rob them of that.

But I imagine this lack of self-love is really evident to other people, which is why you’re struggling.

So while finding a girlfriend or hooking up with many women may seem like the most natural solution, it’s actually the end-game, not the stepping stone. External love and validation should be additive to your life, not the foundation.

Some of the other comments are telling you things to do that will help you build confidence and self love. They’re clear steps that really do help a lot of people reach that end goal that you want.

I’d suggest an exercise first. Sit down and imagine the life you’ve always wanted. Write it out. Think about what you’re doing for work, who you spend time with, what you feel like, what hobbies you participate in.

That’s the life you need to start working towards. Work backwards from that goal by working out, eating healthy, upping your fashion sense, getting out there to meet people, changing jobs or getting a promotion.

Then imagine your ideal partner. Write those traits down in detail. Next: If it’s a gender neutral trait, leave it. If it’s a feminine trait, flip it to the equivalent masculine trait. That’s the person you want to be.

Do the same thing and work backwards toward that person. Maybe that means getting fit, maybe it means having a solid group of friends, stable finances, a good sense of humor or being good in bed*.

It will suck at first. Probably for the first six to eight months honestly. But you will see results. Keep at it long enough and you will find a partner.

If you can’t practice that last one, study it. Learn about female anatomy. Read books on it *written by women. Watch porn meant for women. You’ll get the basics from that.

Title	trying this sub at a recommendation, really need help 29m
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	47
Comments	123
Date	September 27, 2022 5:41 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xp7vdz/trying_this_sub_at_a_recommendation_really_need/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/trying-this-sub-at-a-recommendation-really-need.1249311 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249311

Comments