Bf isn’t good in bed and idk what else I can do to help him get better, feels like I’ve tried everything. [recovered]

WTFyow · 2022-07-12T18:47:27+00:00

Make him read “she comes first”

No_Fly_7360 · 2022-07-12T20:01:58+00:00

Does he watch porn? Maybe abstain from porn and masturbating. Oh man, if you knew what kinda thoughts was in a mans mind when he abstain from sexual pleasure for a long time. He gonna go crazy, the beast inside him

No_Broccoli_1197 · 2022-07-12T19:34:37+00:00

[permanently deleted]

primallyours · 2022-07-12T18:39:58+00:00

Terminate the contract. It’s mid-July, the transfer window is wide open.

Titty_Slicer_5000 · 2022-07-12T18:50:29+00:00

Has it improved at all? Like is there any difference between now and then? Is he actually listening to you and doing the things you tell him you like? Is he asking you “do you like this, do you like that”.

Also have you talked to him about what he likes? Have you explored his sexuality and likes/dislikes with him? Or has it all been about you? If he’s inexperienced then he likely doesn’t know what he likes. He doesn’t know “how to touch you” because sex for him is still the biological drive of pump and dump, which takes time to overcome. He needs to learn and experience all the pleasures outside of PIV. Touching, kissing, massaging, dirty talk, etc. And you need to help him with that. He needs to understand that everything outside of PIV is just as important and pleasurable as PIV. Right now he’s probably approaching sex as something he needs to do to you, a goal he needs to hit, rather than a pleasurable give and take all around experience. And if sex is just you telling him “do this, no do this, no do that” then that won’t change. If he’s not relaxed then the sex will not be good. You need to make sure he is relaxed and feels comfortable. That he’s doing things for his pleasure as well as yours, and that you are doing the same for him. Sex is an activity that requires the effort and enthusiastic participation of both (or more) parties, it’s not something he does to you. And maybe I’m just misinterpreting your post, but it kind of sounds like sex is just you telling him to do things. I may be wrong, I can only glean and guess so much from a single post.

DestroyerOfNuts95 · 2022-07-12T19:07:05+00:00

To me it seems like there is no passion because it feels more like a learning lesson in school. How can someone be still bad even when his gf is showing him all the ropes? If I had a gf like that I would make sure to get it right the first time she shows me. Wtf is wrong with this dude? It's not that hard to get it on. Dirty talk maybe not for everyone but a little spanking is something that should be implemented, maybe your bf is not into sex or still feels something is off, maybe you should talk with him, somehow it sounds like, that something is blocking him, to be really free in your bedroom.

jdgrazia · 2022-07-12T19:50:53+00:00

sounds like you should have had sex before forming a 6 month relationship

creamyturtle · 2022-07-12T20:05:23+00:00

I had a gf in highschool teach me and I've tried out all her tricks on other women and they worked fantastically. I think your bf's brain is broken, he's just not receptive in the right way to the info you're providing. it should only take 2-3 sessions to get the fundamentals down pat

Confidenceisbetter · 2022-07-12T18:50:00+00:00

Seems like you have to sit down with him and just him him with ‘the sex sucks for me’. Maybe he doesn’t realise how bad it is for you and to him what you’re telling him is ‘just’ things he could do to improve but it’s already okay. Sometimes people need to be told point blank even if it hurts their ego

lucius7er · 2022-07-12T20:37:39+00:00

It's basically not your fault since all women are more sex and most men are not actually getting much. So it's probably going to be the same with whatever partner you have. Women need to put out more so that we can keep up with you guys sexually you guys are fucking maniacs, it's 2022 😂

Women should come together and support men by being more of service, having a sense of community and letting us smash it more often. Help us help you by being sluttier. ❤️

Chicagoj1563 · 2022-07-12T19:36:26+00:00

Are you sure this isn’t a communication problem? Because you said you’ve been telling him what to do, but things haven’t improved. But you haven’t said why. I mean, are the things you told him not working? Is he not doing what you suggested?

If you like him I wouldn’t end it over this. Try to find out what is the issue. See a sex therapist as that may help if you can get him on board.

If this is a big deal to you, then it’s going to effect you both. If he looses his first sexual relationship due to not being good sexually, that has potential to mess him up.

lh_arw · 2022-07-12T20:10:57+00:00

“As I’ve had a lot of self exploration” so slept with loads of guys.. in Simple terms

meatpopsicle86edya · 2022-07-12T19:50:22+00:00

FetLife.com

Momo_dollar · 2022-07-12T20:19:15+00:00

Fuck me.. date him.

SilkTouchm · 2022-07-12T20:40:17+00:00

What does this have to do with seduction? mods?

Possible-Lobster-436 · 2022-07-12T20:57:24+00:00

It he doesn’t put the effort in pleasuring you in bed he doesn’t love you or give a damn about your well being. This is a hard truth that many women in your position won’t realize until you hit your 40s and had bad sex for decades.

Get out while you still can. You’re nothing but a living pocket pussy for him. Remember most men would not tolerate bad sex from a woman for this long. So why should women tolerate bad sex too? Life is too short for bad sex.

Edit: I just read that you bleed sometimes when he does it with you and he’s not even big. You know that’s a form of vaginal trauma right? If things don’t get better for you guys then you may develop vaginismus where soon it will be difficult to have any sex at all. Do you have any female friends? Come on this sex isn’t normal. You’re not even turned on by the guy and your sex drive is tanking not to mention your mental health. This is so sad.

Medical-Weird-2444 · 2022-07-12T18:31:05+00:00

he will improve dont worry

edit also give instructions

Snoo30468 · 2022-07-12T19:23:17+00:00

you want to be dominated (choked, slapped, tied up, etc.) and he's not dominating you. you need to find someone like me who is dominant and sadistic. its that simple.

iluvreddit · 2022-07-12T18:39:42+00:00

Break up

WS_Slammin · 2022-07-12T19:55:43+00:00

Well, there is really good tips in the book that I had never heard of, which actually made me better in bed. Maybe it can be brought up by mentioning how you'd like to experience some of those things with him. I bought the audio because I didn't want to have to read.

He should be doing this himself if he really wants to improve. But if he's really new then, it's a big downer to have to crack open a book maybe the audiobook will be good for him.

Unfortunately, there isn't much out there for us guys to learn to be better lovers, like there's is for women. Don't follow porn either, it's the worst teacher.

Wads125 · 2022-07-12T20:02:16+00:00

Maybe try a different tactic. See if there’s anything kinky he likes and wants to do. It could open him up more to understanding your needs

Snakehead004 · 2022-07-12T20:04:30+00:00

Not everyone is good physically. Also not eveyone is compatable. What he's doing might please some but not you, or he might just be inept sexually like some are with other physical things. Some people will always struggle with simple things like tying their shoes because they are not dexterous. Same with sex.

MermaidOfScandinavia · 2022-07-12T20:04:32+00:00

Maybe go see a sex couch or whatever it's called. I think that's really the best option that are left to try 🤔

suczkaniedobra666 · 2022-07-12T20:11:17+00:00

Been in the same situation, my ex did everything properly but I still wasn't turned on. It was a matter of person, even tough he was physically attractive and I loved him there wasn't right chemistry

cobraCL · 2022-07-12T20:12:31+00:00

Overall, what things could you summarize as being the "problems" here? You mentioned the sex is not too good, but what exactly is lacking?

Confidence? Initiative? Is he passive and nervous? If so, would you be willing to help him get though this?

Is it his technique? Are you missing a little 'danger' and maybe want to try roleplay and kink? Could it be that a lack of chemistry outside of the bedroom has leaked into your sex life?

rudebwoy100 · 2022-07-12T20:12:41+00:00

Thoroughly confused, you've been showing him what you like for the past 6-12 months and he can't even do simple things like oral and fingering properly?

What about his fingering and oral technique is bad exactly or is it an issue with penetration where he last too short/long, too small/big in terms of P size or what?

Fluffy_Risk9955 · 2022-07-12T20:19:06+00:00

As far as I know pleasure of the woman is 90% the energy of her man and about 10% technique.

FortuneLow1434 · 2022-07-12T20:24:08+00:00

What specifically is he doing wrong? Being in shape also plays a part

Long-Review-1861 · 2022-07-12T20:27:38+00:00

What exactly is he doing wrong?

hookedonfonicsmunky · 2022-07-12T20:34:46+00:00

sounds like misinformation to us on actual communication problems, cuz i've had one gf that "apparently" never got off with any guy but i sat and took it slow with her and listened and sure as shit once i got her there she kept getting there

YouGotTangoed · 2022-07-12T20:37:02+00:00

Ask him if he’s open to being a cuck

Alarming-Election-29 · 2022-07-12T20:39:34+00:00

It's deeper than sex, if you genuinely care about him, have a conversation about his past and allow him to express himself, and try your best not to come off as judgemental if the things being said come off as shocking. Some have trouble opening up during intimate situations or, better yet, in life based on past traumas. Bond on a more in-depth level and maybe he'll open up sexually.

2022-07-12T20:41:08+00:00

I wonder what’s going on in his head. I can’t speak for all men, but I genuinely believe there’s a lot of pressure put on men to sexually perform well. Take a break from teaching him your body and have a discussion about what’s going on in his head. Get a little “therapist” with the questions if you can. It’s a starting point you can build on.

Baked-As-A-Cake · 2022-07-12T20:44:00+00:00

I used to suck dick at eating pussy. I was awful. Then I read a few pointers, and I used some music (usually edm) to keep a rhythm with my tongue. This trick has single handedly contributed to my oral skills. I'm sure you've tried that, but if not, give that a go!

Effective_Yak8274 · 2022-07-12T20:46:35+00:00

Just get him to read the Sex god method by Daniel Rose

thedukejck · 2022-07-12T20:47:30+00:00

Teach him.

RSNK10 · 2022-07-12T20:47:46+00:00

This goes both ways, but you can’t really teach enthusiasm in a sexual parter. I mean enthusiasm as in excitement to please your partner, not just enthusiasm in sex.

This is honestly why getting intimate early on is important. It’s controversial of course but sexual chemistry is super important for a relationship to work. This is why I don’t believe in waiting for sex

burncushlikewood · 2022-07-12T20:53:08+00:00

This is more of an r/sex question, but that sub is bad I got banned there for saying I like black women lol. Anyway if your boyfriend is bad in bed and you're trying things and he's not learning then you may have to take more drastic measures. I suggest going out and buying a fleshlight and a mount and getting him to practice. That what I did to practice and it helped me greatly, it feels similar to a vagina and it had a g spot in it and everything so you can really work on your technique and increase your stamina

Pheasantluvr69 · 2022-07-12T20:55:05+00:00

Try taking tantra classes together

Title	Bf isn’t good in bed and idk what else I can do to help him get better, feels like I’ve tried everything. [recovered]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	51
Comments	90
Date	July 12, 2022 6:20 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vxhv4z/bf_isnt_good_in_bed_and_idk_what_else_i_can_do_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/bf-isnt-good-in-bed-and-idk-what-else-i-can-do-to.1254660 https://theredarchive.com/post/1254660

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