[deleted by user]

EthicalSeduction · 2022-06-26T12:33:38+00:00

My guess is you may be accidentally doing something "creepy", which is an umbrella term which basically means you could be causing the other person to feel unsafe or uncomfortable. Watch these things:

Body Language: Be careful how you approach someone. Don't come up from behind them for example. Also don't stand where they feel trapped or cornered.
Don't be intimidating or pushy: Nobody like being treated this way and we instantly resist it, as we should. Be kind, respect boundaries, don't touch the person before you are pretty sure it's wanted (ask if you are not sure).
Stay balanced and match their interest level: For example if you approach someone and they are lukewarm about it, but you keep trying super hard, the other person can sense this imbalance and it can be scary or uncomfortable. (This is what happens with stalking, there is an imbalance.) If you sense this, you need to adjust and come down to match their interest level.
THE BIG ONE: Don't have a hidden agenda: For example if you are meeting people and in the back of your head it's because you want to lay them, this is going to show through. Now there isn't anything wrong with it if you can be authentic, open, and honest with what you want. BUT it's not cool to lead someone on with, for example, the idea that you may want to date them when in reality you just want to lay them - because that's lying and does hurt the other person. So just be aware. And also know that while you may want to get laid sometime, you can set a mental goal that for this evening your objective is simply to meet people, chat, and make a bit of a connection. Adjusting your "goal" for the night can make quiet a difference with your success and progress.

The art is in being able to ask for what you want while allowing the other person to feel safe and comfortable at all times. Safety is a foundation to establish because any form of attraction can start to work. (And if you mess up and suddenly the person isn't sure they are safe, it will kill anything you have built.) Safety and Trust may not be the exciting subjects, but they are perhaps the most important because without them, you get nothing. Hope this helps.

no_not_this · 2022-06-26T10:07:38+00:00

Well your getting dates off tinder so your ok in the looks department. 0/7 on a hook up app is not great if your goal is to get laid. Clearly you lack social skills. Socially awkward and weird is basically the same thing. You need to work on that but it’s hard to give advice with such little information. What do you talk about on these dates

AynRandMcNally · 2022-06-26T10:04:40+00:00

Be a Man, Stop associating your worth to women.

bigmanpav · 2022-06-26T10:40:20+00:00

Don't go on walks. Invite to a cafe or bar near your place and invite them home afterwards or at least kiss and set a second date at home

froze_gold · 2022-06-26T13:06:51+00:00

My step by step has worked for me. Formulated based on advice from men who get laid often.

Greet with a hug or "intimate" hand shakes - breaking the touch barrier right away is crucial otherwise you'll be fumbling. (What's an "intimate handshake?" Offer your hand, hold eye contact with a slight smirk/side smile and gently hold her hand longer a tiny bit longer. Say "it's great to meet you ;)" and maybe rub your thumb a bit. Take it slow and cool. Least effective and doesn't always work out, still breaks TB)
talk about her. It's charming. Hold as much eye contact as possible. Smile just as much. Ask her questions about anything and let her talk.

Do not. I repeat DO. NOT. Talk more than her. Don't go bitching about your problems if she bitches about hers. Don't be a gossip girl. A good friend never fucked fair lady and believe it or not, girls don't make out with other girls as often as movies say

Offer a second location. Something that lets you be more personal. If you start at a bar or restaurant, go walk for ice cream and sit with her at a nice spot.
Plausible deniability. "I've got netflix, drinks, and snacks. Come be a pig w me and watch what you like :)" (Her internally: "Oh it's just netflix and food, it couldn't hurt. Oh jeez I know what he wants but he's so charming..") She might even say something implying she knows you're after sex. It's probably a poor shit test or a way of pre-rejecting you. A+A or ignore it and say "I've been thinking about pop tarts and stranger things all damn day!"
if you succeed at the other steps, she's probably next to you on your couch and you two are talking a bit or watching something. There's sexual tension.

Throw a hand around her and make more eye contact.

When you get that feeling in your gut to kiss her, you DO IT. Lock eyes, hold her hand, shoot for it. She's already open to you at this point and letting you know by not pushing you away. She. Is. Down.

Escalate. Foreplay the hell out of her long before you use your dick. Think lesbian porn and just do alot of hands and mouth stuff.

Edit: If you have time before your date, do some masculine things to boost your testosterone. Go to the gym, climb trees, chop wood, etc. Just shower up after.

2022-06-26T10:41:20+00:00

Just learn how to escalate, that seems to be your sticking point, and repeat, what you are already doing. Every failed attempt will teach you something and increase your social skills. Sooner or later your behaviour will be on point and you will click with someone. "Weird" is totally subjective, no matter how you are, you'll always be weird to some people. You'll be fine.

InfectionRx · 2022-06-26T13:23:10+00:00

like what that chick said

stop being weird

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-06-26T12:25:31+00:00

Being more confident, showing more intent, being more social there's so many things that you can work on so just pick one and better day by day

Practical_Run7033 · 2022-06-26T12:59:38+00:00

What you need to do is let your hair down. Getting laid is an art. You need to take your date out for a couple of drinks. That will help the conversation flow and shake the inhibitions off. Feed her a lovely meal. Ensure you have a place of your own, or a friends which is empty for a nightcap and dessert. Play music when you reach the place and ask the young lady for a dance. Ensure the third song onwards the playlist moves to slow music. Then take the young lady in your arms and slow dance. That is when you will know if she is open to giving you a night or not. The rest is evolution.

youcheekydelinquent · 2022-06-26T13:31:48+00:00

So it sounds like you need to become socialized. That means talking to more people and learning how to fit in. Clearly, some stuff was missed in Kindergarten or your childhood. Not to worry it's all learnable it will just take more deliberate practice.

Furyann · 2022-06-26T16:48:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

7GoodVibes · 2022-06-26T12:44:36+00:00

I suggest getting off apps like tinder and learning how to interact in person first.

Second, quit focusing on getting laid. This just screams of desperation. Learn to be a bit more socially savvy first, getting laid will come with that as a natural side effect.

2022-06-26T14:09:56+00:00

Your problem is that you are socially awkward. So I suggest socializing more and working on your interpersonal skills.

Sea_Instruction9175 · 2022-06-26T16:33:02+00:00

Giving advice isn't really my forte but if u wanna get laid, u must go around from places to places.

U can't simply find anyone who would share the same interests as you if u don't put yourself out there.

Patience is also a big factor along with Confidence. You'll find someone out there eventually. Find someone that would love the real you. If necessary change up the things that needed to be changed like only playing video games and shiz.

However, If u ain't looking anything serious and just wanted to get laid, Work on your social skills. Words can be a powerful tool, but it's very easy to make mistakes.

Fate-in-haze · 2022-06-26T10:40:57+00:00

Check out Dr Nerdlove's books and blog.

hagakurejunkie · 2022-06-26T16:02:11+00:00

You need to stop focusing on getting laid.

That's like applying for a job for the sole reason of getting health care, you don't care about the job or the money, you just want one thing and NOBODY is going to hire you.

No bragging, I have been with well over 140 women, I have had sex thousands of times in my life and I can absolutely say sex by itself is HIGHLY OVERRATED!

Contrary to popular belief, sex by itself will not solve your problems, it doesn't cure cancer or improve your looks, make you more money, it doesn't do pretty much ANYTHING!

Sex isn't even rare, humans have quintupled the human population in the last 150 years because we all had sex.

Now, on the other hand, sex with a woman whom you are completely fucking mad about and she's mad about you, that sex is like a nuclear fucking BOMB!

I'm in such a relationship now and I can tell you, I'd hand all the girls back I've been with previously if it meant I could have met this girl sooner.

She's is fucking hilarious and I have never had a better time with another human than I do when I'm with her. Needless to say, sex is incredible with her because we both want to please each other.

Focus on actually meeting a woman you WANT to spend time with. This thread is called SEDUCTION not "How can I put my dick in a random girl without getting to know her?" for a reason.

evitrron · 2022-06-26T13:48:17+00:00

If you're only focused on "getting laid" you're basically looking for someone to masturbate with and there is nothing appealing or attractive about that unless you're completely transparent about what you're looking for without leading on the other person.

Physical attractiveness may open more doors but it can only get you so far. It can be completely irrelevant if someone's personality is completely lacking or unappealing.

Focus on yourself. Develop skills, interests and hobbies to grow your self-worth and confidence. Be both an interesting person and geniuely INTERESTED in who you're choosing to spend time with. Genuine connection is key to connecting on deeper levels - mental, emotional aaaand physical.

2022-06-26T14:09:19+00:00

You’re not escalating.

rosiegal75 · 2022-06-26T15:53:59+00:00

Ot maybe you're picking women who want more than to just get laid.. If all you're after is sex, get yourself a prostitute and you're guaranteed your happy ending.

slumpmode · 2022-06-26T16:54:59+00:00

I’ll give you the 100% success secret of having atleast some luck with the opposite sex: Go after people who already like you

ChoiceTank · 2022-06-26T14:13:56+00:00

Read Models by Mark Manson and try again after

Kingtoke1 · 2022-06-26T14:33:40+00:00

Number 1. Your self defeatist attitude is a huge red flag. Number 2. You need to get out it your shell. If all you do is hermit you’re about as attractive as white dog shit. Number 3. Talk to your friends, ask for pointers, constructive feedback etc. And the biggest point of all. Number 4. Play it cool. Don’t advertise you’re out for sex. She probably is too, but she has options and low drama trumps everything.

Majestic_Meal_5655 · 2022-06-26T18:08:22+00:00

OK bro, looks to me like you are super new at this. Follow AMS "Alpha make strategies" on YouTube. He is my favorite dating/life style coach on the net. I'll give you a quick rundown. 1. Body. (Sculpt your body) 2. Mind (Educate yourself) 3.Wallet (make more money). These are the pillars of masculinity. Keep working on your social skills. They might find you awkward and weird because you are scared of being an unapologetic version of yourself. You might be coming across like a harmless rabbit. Become a predator, like a wolf.

warrior_level_9999 · 2022-06-26T10:47:59+00:00

Read this

Zelenkastanislav · 2022-06-26T18:16:33+00:00

Kiss her asap

BackyardByTheP00L · 2022-06-26T13:30:47+00:00

You could take your date to an actual movie this summer. Nothing depressing, but something like Maverick. Where men are heroes, not the 'bad'guy. Offer to go out for appetizers, ice cream, or pizza to discuss the movie. So she realizes you're not trying to get her drunk. If you go on a walk, sit on a bench to rest and offer to give her a shoulder rub, especially if she's mentioned stress in her daily life. Back in the day we'd use this as a non threatening segue to physical contact & intimacy. You could kiss her neck, sit down and ask if that helped. If she seems relaxed, well, phase two commences that night. Phase three & four might need another date, but, the door has been opened.

2022-06-26T14:27:37+00:00

Read my post Why Your Tinder Matches Don’t Translate Into Lay or something like that

justme219 · 2022-06-26T14:05:33+00:00

Go into it with the thought that you are not getting laid for the first few dates. Those first few dates are for getting to know her, for making her laugh, and for finding out if you have chemistry.

If you take sex out of the equation, you won’t come across as weird or perverted.

gangweedsavedme · 2022-06-26T14:45:34+00:00

The greatest signal you can give on a first date is the ease of conversation, it makes them comfortable while giving the impression that you’re competent and popular. So practice conversation consistently.

hacklinux · 2022-06-26T14:57:55+00:00

25 year old kissless virgin here.

SkatingOnThinIce · 2022-06-26T16:29:38+00:00

Next date try thinking: "I'm meeting my best pall, I can be natural and relaxed and talk about whatever I want. I'm not here to get laid"

2022-06-26T17:01:47+00:00

Your post does not tell us anything about yourself. Let me ask this:

-What are you exatly looking for? A gf or a hookup?

Do you swipe on every girl or you have some requirements? Requirements such as: have similiar interest, being fit...
Do you have some interest?
Are you broke? Why you choose long walks as first date? Especially If you want to hookup your best bet is to go to a restaurant as a first date
As for the social anxiety part: why you think woman think of you as "weird"? Like with the last woman (the one who did not want you even as a friend) what did you two talk about?

Accomplished_Bed723 · 2022-06-26T17:41:21+00:00

Getting girls to meet you in person is already a big achievement so dont be too hard on yourself. The girl calling you weird was probably uptight and dating some boring fucker in a financed Mercedes A class. Just try and be more relaxed with girls, have a laugh and keep the conversation going off what they say to you. I always find gaslighting them after they say something usually gets a laugh and then just keep it going. Be random as well, if youre just walking suggest going for a drink or doing a different activity like crazy golf or something (just a cliche example you know what i mean) to help ease the tension. Make sure you flirt as well, a girl simply wouldnt meet you if she wasnt even slightly interested in you, so just be confident and tell yourself that she must be interested otherwise she would have ignored you let alone meet you in person. You got this mate😇

Amikatey · 2022-06-26T19:01:37+00:00

You need to create a scenario were things can happen, else it will never. Taking a walk i assume on the street in public you know it's not a place were intimate things can happen. You say you are 20 so i assume you still live in Mom and Dad's basement. But the step should be after the first date if things go well.. Next time you can invite her to come over and if you know how to play the game.. You can nail shit.

2022-06-26T19:19:09+00:00

How do you get matches?

HandsomeTomatoes22 · 2022-06-26T20:11:06+00:00

It sure sounds like you need to improve your social skills. I would take small steps. Thing I would do if I was you in no particular order.

Learn to hold a conversation. It’s invaluable not with just women but if you want to do well for yourself in life.
Make and maintain eye contact with people during conversations.
Allow others to speak and you listen. Reaffirm the things you’ve heard with follow up questions.
Become well groomed. Wear clothes that fit you and the lifestyle you want to live.
Be critical of yourself in order to improve yourself.
Read books of self improvement.
Everything takes practice.

blessedbelly · 2022-06-26T20:27:32+00:00

If you’re worried about getting laid it will never happen for you. Bide your time, and wait for the right person to come along. May take a month, may take 10 years. Just keep at it.

non-troll_account · 2022-06-26T20:55:13+00:00

Eye contact. Do not break eye contact first. You don't even have to say anything. If you're maintaining steady eye contact, she can ask you a question, and you just smile coyly.

This works if you're attractive.

Moonlyteshadow · 2022-06-26T21:10:17+00:00

Woman here…what women really hate are men who can’t be honest. Yes they might be on Tinder to hook up and yes you matched with them so they think you are attractive. Women can sense a guy who is trying to rush to get into their pants. You are literally trying to sleep with a girl you just met. You are really going to have to make your intentions clear before you waste her time. At least ask her why she’s on tinder what was she looking for. That if she’s looking for sex then you could meet at a hotel skip all the awkward talking and get straight to it. Trying to be nice and friendly to get into her pants is 1. wrong 2. Requires skill and time. You don’t want to pay for sex but news flash everyone is paying whether it’s the gas in the car to get there or paying for food etc. I’m telling you this as a woman who has met up just to hook up. Men can be honest and if she’s cool with it ok but stop trying to trick women.

ShameAffectionate15 · 2022-06-26T21:57:03+00:00

seems like you meet women thru apps. Women on dating apps judge extremely harsh because they get so many matches. Good luck!

2022-06-28T21:37:15+00:00

DO anything but nothing

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	186
Comments	113
Date	June 26, 2022 10:01 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vl1dwa/how_to_get_laid/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1256032 https://theredarchive.com/post/1256032

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