Getting off with girls but not having sex with them.. [recovered]

norwegiandoggo · 2022-01-03T15:22:41+00:00

What is your current approach when trying to go from kissing to sex?

caesarfecit · 2022-01-03T19:01:06+00:00

It's because you break the sexual tension too soon. Having a hot and steamy makeout sesh in a bar or a club is a mistake unless the plan is to have sex right away, like in the bathroom or a car/alley.

The reason why it's a mistake is because making out with her right then and there breaks the sexual tension. Her horny mind stops governing the decision-making and she starts pondering everything other than getting her rocks off.

That's why she defers on going home with you, flakes when you set up a date, or ghosts you afterwards. It's easier for her to just write the whole thing off as a drunken night in the club, than it is for her to deal with a guy who had her ready to blow him in public. Buyer's Remorse and anti-slut mentality has set in.

If you must kiss a girl in a bar/club, the move is to make your kisses a tease, not go to second base on the dance floor (unless she's already 100% DTF, like telling you she's taking you home, and in that case, it's unnecessary).

Don't make a girl choose between you and her dignity. A lifetime of programming from her mother, her friends, and society has trained her to make that decision automatic.

PondScum420 · 2022-01-03T19:44:08+00:00

It could be any number of things. In my experience I feel like when I had those problems it was because I was moving too fast. Like they were down at one point, but I ruined it by being too intense and wanting it too much.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2022-01-03T16:57:02+00:00

Just relax and stop treating women like a collection of moist holes you want to stick it in. Treat every woman like sex is just a matter of time and there is nothing for you to worry about or try to make happen. Let it happen naturally.

SmuttyBookLover · 2022-01-03T19:00:34+00:00

So the seemingly obvious answer is maybe that they don't like how you kiss/make out, more than likely there's something happening either on the approach of said kiss/make out or how it's ended. Or it could be a technique thing. Or a personality thing. You may be a catch at first glance and then there may be something you're doing or not doing that puts them off. They try a few kisses to see if there's chemistry and if not they're just not interested. But there are so many variables we really can't say. If you've done this several times and it always ends the same way I would say to look inward and maybe change things up.

Or you could just be unlucky right now.

kinstinctlol · 2022-01-03T17:55:49+00:00

Just ask them if they want to go to the sex location. I just ask them to go to a motel with me.

no_not_this · 2022-01-03T18:31:54+00:00

Some women have a rule of not banging on the first meeting. I actually would rather deal with one of those than getting herpies from a super slut. It shows they aren’t opening their legs to a new guy 5 days a week. In my experience those are higher quality women

great1675 · 2022-01-04T02:22:34+00:00

In my youth if I was too nervous I could go for hours... I've had a few tap out. What I found at least was it was a mental thing. If I was thinking too much, forget it. If I was in the moment and just into her it was much better.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-01-03T20:44:33+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/q1bitx/skipping_foreplay_rushing_and_not_using_your/

Salaheed · 2022-01-04T04:08:50+00:00

Have you considered just getting a tinder and finding people who just are looking to get their rocks off

stumje · 2022-01-03T22:36:35+00:00

You need to bring the MOJO ( the sexual fire). This is what turns them on sexual

1000miles_if_i_could · 2022-01-04T04:33:21+00:00

There could be many reasons. Could it be your choice of women? Some younger girls just like to make out heavily but sex is optional. For women, sometimes the sexual tensions built during make out is just as good as sex itself.

From what you’ve written, I couldn’t tell exactly but it seems that you’re way too focused on your “end goal” - sex. That could be off putting. Instead, just enjoy the fun without any expectations toward sex. It’ll happen more when it’s unexpected imo.

TeslaNicole · 2022-01-04T07:13:38+00:00

Be the man and escalate at a pace she's comfortable with. Watch closely to her body language.

ununenud · 2022-01-04T10:50:32+00:00

I'm in the same boat with you. When i meet them at a party, we are clearly are having fun but it rarely leads to me taking them home.

What my buddies have noticied about me is that i'm too agressive. I also met this girl at a party on new years eve that mentioned that i'm agressive, it's the first time i've heard it from a girl and it really got me thinking. I think i do have an agressive nature and i like it but maybe there should be a fine line.

CarpetBagger96 · 2022-01-04T18:02:42+00:00

you’re not leading

kielburger02 · 2022-01-04T01:29:14+00:00

I see there are many good suggestions here, but no one brought dental hygiene. I am not saying you smell bad or anything. But make sure you are clean and taste good when you kiss someone. Make her like it and wanna get more from you.

DrinksAreOnTheHouse · 2022-01-03T21:37:44+00:00

most girls (or at least the hottest & best ones) are not going to sleep with you the first night. (admittedly, there are always outliers but its not the majority). If you're making out for the first time, assume that's as far as it goes. If she wants to go home with you, she'll find ways to hint it so you take action. Let them come to you more and maybe you'll get pleasantly suprised. It seems you might be forcing it too much if they aren't excited to see you a second time.

Organic_Pack1211 · 2022-01-03T22:17:06+00:00

I have this EXACT SAME problem. It has literally happen almost every time, I’m interested to see what others have experienced

BadHairDayToday · 2022-01-03T21:45:29+00:00

For me is that they'll have sex with me but refuse to stay the night. Feels so empty if they leave after sex. I love sleeping together, would take it over the sex actually. Have breakfast the next morning, read the news paper and complain about politics ❤️

Anyways, I have no advice 😆 still beter than the whiney top rated reply

Mr_ambitiouz · 2022-01-03T18:25:36+00:00

Let's say you are in a club, and you spot a girl that you like and started talking to her, how long would it take you to kiss her?

accountno543210 · 2022-01-03T22:56:26+00:00

Learn how to "ask" and practice consistent consent and have fun.

human8ure · 2022-01-04T03:01:47+00:00

I’ve actually made this my goal.

1) It’s way more acheivable, less disappointing. Just make out with them and then go home and… 2) Masturbate. Way safer. Less messy. No pregnancy or STI’s to worry about. But most importantly.. 3) No woman will ever compare to my imagination.

girlycats · 2022-01-04T19:10:18+00:00

What an incel!

Sup3rHD · 2022-01-04T20:12:54+00:00

U cant build attraction, a girl knows after 2 seconds if she wants to have sex with you or not.
All the tactics for escalating etc are useless.

Tioaeis · 2022-01-03T18:18:26+00:00

What remote island to these posts get made from lol?

Getting out to a club or bar right now seems risky.

recyclablebanthas · 2022-01-04T04:40:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2022-01-03T18:09:10+00:00

[permanently deleted]

boss-mannn · 2022-01-04T02:34:21+00:00

Expelleddux · 2022-01-04T09:40:20+00:00

After making out, stop drinking.

13Xxx21 · 2022-01-04T09:58:43+00:00

Nope.

Title	Getting off with girls but not having sex with them.. [recovered]
Author	Tioaeis [recovered]
Upvotes	400
Comments	127
Date	January 3, 2022 3:12 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/rv3usu/getting_off_with_girls_but_not_having_sex_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/getting-off-with-girls-but-not-having-sex-with.1269757 https://theredarchive.com/post/1269757

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