[deleted by user]

Importantmessage2000 · 2021-10-01T16:51:30+00:00

Stop caring about the outcome of the situation when you talk to them and be present in the moment.

You’re comfortable talking to what you may call a 5 because you don’t care what she thinks about.

You’re uncomfortable talking to what you may call a 10 because you care too much what she thinks about you.

WeakEmu8 · 2021-10-01T15:11:53+00:00

What's a 10?

Seriously, stop assessing women this way, for a start. They're either someone you're attracted to, or aren't. 1 or 2. A or B.

Then remember, be outcome independent, focus on enjoying right here and now. Later doesn't exist. Tomorrow doesn't exist.

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2021-10-01T16:39:56+00:00

"No matter how hot she is, someone somewhere is sick of putting up with her shit."

She ain't perfect. She ain't the key to a life of happiness for you. She's just a person like any other person. Realistically speaking, there's a 99.99% chance that she isn't a good match for you. Even if you do everything perfectly, she's probably going to be a distant memory in a few months or years.

So... take all that pressure you're putting on yourself and throw it in the garbage where it belongs. Just relax and talk to her. Be curious. Have fun.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-10-01T14:09:58+00:00

Exposure, exposure, exposure. Just gotta find a way to hang around them.

New_Sock6775 · 2021-10-01T18:06:47+00:00

U lost when you see her a 10, you not seeing her as a equal your looking up to her. You treating her like she a unicorn because u look up to her. think of her as a equal

devnasty009 · 2021-10-01T18:19:09+00:00

I saw a 10 today, literally almost coomed in my pants on the spot

NewCommonSensei · 2021-10-01T20:13:34+00:00

She is hot but is she cool 😎 that’s the real question

earsurgery9 · 2021-10-01T14:57:32+00:00

just know that it's basically out of your control. You really don't need to stress. She either is attracted to you or she isn't. People stress because they are still stuck in 2007 and are thinking about all kinds of theory and stuff when talking too a cute girl. Relax

RussianEntrepreneur · 2021-10-01T20:56:30+00:00

She's just another human like you. There are seven billion of us. Remember this fact.

TheNerdsQuest · 2021-10-02T00:35:43+00:00

I will suggest something that I don't think anyone has yet suggested in this thread:

Spend time with strippers and/or escorts, specifically the ones you are the most intimidated by.

The easiest thing would be to go to a decent strip club, wait until you see a girl like this, then ask her for a private dance. Depending on the strip club, you might be able to talk to some of the strippers at the bar. They are generally quite flirty and will likely end up trying to persuade you to get a private dance with them. Either way, it's a place where you can build up some exposure so you don't freak out when you're doing it out in the real world.

FaithInStrangers94 · 2021-10-02T03:01:37+00:00

I try to remember that whilst I’m programmed to be attracted to her, she’s not a goddess, she’s just a big hairy mammal like the rest of us; she shits, pisses, vomits, cries, battles mental issues, does stupid regrettable shit, will look like crap in 2 or 3 decades and will eventually become centipede food or a pile of ashes.

Besides, it’s her job to reject you, not yours.

Narrow_Sea_8505 · 2021-10-01T15:17:40+00:00

first off get that rating system out of your head, no one is a 10 or a 0.

Second off, dont have an end goal in mind, when talking to hot women or women you like in general. When I say dont have an end goal, I mean dont talk to her with the intention of asking her out or sleeping with her. Just be in the moment and try to make that moment as fun as possible for the both of you whether, its by flirting, or joking around. And if the opportunity arises, ask if she wants your number. If she doesnt, nothing you can do about it, and its not a loss because you did what probably 90% of other guys couldnt, and that was giver her a fun time. You'll get the next one. Or wont, but that wont matter to you because it wont phase you if the next hot woman rejects you.

Adorable_Albatross94 · 2021-10-01T16:10:40+00:00

I get butterflies in my stomach and get sweaty, only time I can is when tipsy

caesarfecit · 2021-10-01T18:14:38+00:00

Remember that the hottest girl can be a total waste of time in bed if the vibe ain't right.

If a girl's looks are getting you shook, the problem is with you, not with her.

Either you've got something to prove or you think she's out of your league. Maybe she does have more options than you, there's only one you.

Treat yourself like you matter to yourself. Nothing more, nothing less.

Hot girls are impressed by the guys that don't feel the need to impress her.

2021-10-01T19:11:01+00:00

Take a breath and realize that she’s a human just like everyone else. Treat her no different than the cashier at the grocery store or your grandma.

gmahogany · 2021-10-01T19:49:47+00:00

Talk to more attractive women until you realize looks aren’t that impressive. Being around a woman you’re really attracted to will change your state a bit. Today I met these two beautiful girls at a cafe and we shared a table while I was working. My hands were actually shaking a bit when I was trying to type - but I wouldn’t say I was nervous. After a few minutes of talking it settled down but attraction is a physiological state. You need that buzz to have sexual tension.

bign0ssy · 2021-10-01T20:41:53+00:00

They're just people bro

ricoconyo · 2021-10-01T20:51:53+00:00

Yeah shes a 10 but does she meet my standards? Does she fit my lifestyle? Does she impress me?

boneygoat · 2021-10-01T21:43:26+00:00

She's just a normal person like everyone else. Your getting ahead of yourself. She'll be able to smell that desperation a mile away. Smaller goals, less to fuck up.

RedEyeBlackEye1 · 2021-10-02T01:26:03+00:00

Honestly?

Remember she goes home drunk to a room, most likely shxt messy AF thrown everywhere (like 99% of them), eats her leftovers from whothefuckknows, dropping crumbs about while looking through her magical handheld validation device...then squats down to take a nasty stinky foul smelling load before hitting Chad or Tyrone up for a late night fxxkfest.

Tldr; her shxt still stinks...like EVERYBODY ELSE. Unicorns do not exist, OP.

Soberskate9696 · 2021-10-02T03:12:37+00:00

She takes nasty shits. Dont forget

rhajin1999 · 2021-10-01T19:13:07+00:00

Easily - don't put the pussy on a pedestal

outsidecan8 · 2021-10-01T18:36:33+00:00

Do'nt overthink it.

Girls don't care about your cheesy ass 'dhv's and stuff haha. Just talk to her. Show some intent. If she thinks you're cute it should take care of itself and if you're not her type, you never stood a chance either wayt. DHV's or no DHV's

Particular_Visual531 · 2021-10-01T20:54:11+00:00

She puts her pants on like everyone else. She has the same insecurities everyone does. Also learn to stop worrying about people's social status, whether it's men or women. Unless you're in a third world country with a dictator and he's got lots of bad guys with guns haha. The president of the United States and you are equal, both humans, both share like 99.999% DNA. All the anxiety comes from evolutionary biology which doesn't matter any more.

2021-10-01T22:06:37+00:00

She’s just another human who shits in the morning.

When you set your self value high enough, it doesn’t matter who you talk to.

McWhiters9511 · 2021-10-01T22:27:39+00:00

By ignoring your own judgement of them. Makes everyone the same.

ThermalDynamicality · 2021-10-01T23:07:18+00:00

Simple, you don't lmao

2021-10-01T23:08:31+00:00

There are no 10s and I'm an 11

2021-10-01T23:49:51+00:00

Imagine them taking a big sweaty Chipotle shit

MisterShogunate · 2021-10-01T23:50:36+00:00

Just get used to approaching and talking to women you find attractive. Your comfort level will generalize.

AelfredRex · 2021-10-02T00:00:57+00:00

Depends on the personality, really, just like any other woman.

Models tend to be too thin and too flat for my tastes.

HughBeaumont500 · 2021-10-02T05:31:00+00:00

Forget the number

Focus on the person

Makes it easier to put into proper prospective

Willy_B_ · 2021-10-01T18:17:12+00:00

Realize they’re human just like u

SomethingS0m3thing · 2021-10-01T19:40:54+00:00

Rub one out in the bathroom

2021-10-01T20:08:42+00:00

/100?

Noigah · 2021-10-01T21:15:12+00:00

awhen you have had some 10’s

Galvatron261 · 2021-10-01T22:55:04+00:00

She shits and sleeps like the rest of us bro

williamroberthoss · 2021-10-01T23:01:23+00:00

I’m not sure yet but I think practice. Only practice.

ragrok · 2021-10-01T23:11:06+00:00

Stop rating people with numbers.

GroundbreakingBus138 · 2021-10-01T23:22:25+00:00

Lol..its rare i see anyone better than a 4.

2021-10-02T01:51:31+00:00

Because there’s no such thing as a 10. They’re a person. They shit, they burp, they make mistakes just like anyone else. Yes they’re fit, but chill.

MiscProfileUno · 2021-10-02T02:41:14+00:00

I understand and agree with all these other approaches. But I am more of a practical person. Here is what worked for me. It’s a long process but it definitely works. Say you are an average looking guy and you can bang lots of 6’s. Do that and start approaching 7’s and bang them. This will make you less nervous around 8’s and then move up to those. Slowly but surely keep moving up!

spicy_simba · 2021-10-02T06:30:15+00:00

Once you get to be the owner of your worth, and at peace with yourself. You will stop giving other people the ownership to decide who you are and your value.

Once you know who you are and your value, then you will be okey whatever happens and whoever you meet.

Also with time and meeting a lot of people, you will treat everyone equally as your equal. All this will make your overthinking drop down, less overthinking means more focus on you having fun. At the end of the day, it's all about having fun, life is too short for doing anything else like worrying or assessing others or letting them assess you.

MakingitHappen1986 · 2021-10-02T07:49:11+00:00

From my experience, talking to other women, then, when you do come across them, it really won't be a big deal. This is super attractive

No-Department6252 · 2021-10-01T17:11:19+00:00

Well if you are not a 10 or even close you have no business approaching one. Approach girls in your league and seek to improve yourself so you can get a 10 in the future

RussianEntrepreneur · 2021-10-01T20:57:16+00:00

I don't think I've ever seen a girl that's a perfect 10 in my books.

2nd-account-o-prince · 2021-10-02T03:54:15+00:00

Have dpdr

johnnybongoes2211 · 2021-10-02T09:10:46+00:00

Derek moreplatesmoredates has some great videos on this

2021-10-02T09:47:45+00:00

10 year old ?

Prodigy5 · 2021-10-02T10:40:11+00:00

First thing is don’t refer to them as a 10

SpiritDragon · 2021-10-03T01:44:17+00:00

I try not to hold people's generic disadvantages against them.

Think about it, they are hot and perfect 10 etc..... You have any idea how much of a pain in the ass that must be for them having every random dude that sees them instantly popping a boner and thinking of them as a trophy fuck idolizing them instead of actually treating them like a normal human being? 5s and 6s don't have to deal with that shit, only 9s and 10s do.

They have the same bullshit life and problems as anyone else. Sure they can use their looks as a tool, but it's also going to make even more work for them in relationships trying to sort out the guys they can be serious with vs the wanna-be Chad who is just running some game trying to pump and dump them. This gets even worse if they have any degree of fame attached to them.

In addition.... Who fucking cares if they are a 10 if they can't make me smile, laugh, and feel chill with them too? This seduction/relationship thing works both ways.

When you throw it all together, sure they are hot or whatever but they are just a normal person with normal person problems under it all. Nothing to get hung up over.

2021-10-05T06:31:49+00:00

By being honest with your self and with her...

EntropySystem · 2021-10-11T04:42:23+00:00

It's just a girl. A human... like you

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	79
Comments	88
Date	October 1, 2021 1:56 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pz8jfn/how_do_you_not_lose_your_shit_when_talking_to_a_10/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1275167 https://theredarchive.com/post/1275167

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