[deleted by user]

Good-Phrase · 2021-09-16T03:03:46+00:00

Try and be more welcoming with your body language hit on dudes if you’re interested just talk to them, maybe you’re too hot and guys are intimidated who knows

gin-o-cide · 2021-09-16T05:19:18+00:00

lol have you ever considered going up to a guy and starting a conversation?

CreepyHermit489 · 2021-09-16T07:20:12+00:00

As a guy, I don't buy the 'oh they are too hot' argument. I've hit on hot girls I emotionally felt were out of my league, but it's because they gave indicators of interest. They made eye contact, either repeatedly, or with a smile, or looked away quickly with a shy look. In all cases, whether conscious or not, they indicated to me they were interested. If you want guys to approach you, you have to let them know it's safe to approach.

Tldr, flirt with your eyes, it's what guys look out for.

Alex_O7 · 2021-09-16T08:26:00+00:00

I think there could honestly be 2 things:

you are not as hot as you think (but there is no problem in that);
your body language mixed with your way of dressing and behaves gives the wrong signal to men around you.

For the first you don't have to going mad, I don't know you so I can't judge, but I could say that also ugly people could find happiness in relationships with the other (or same) sex. In this case you have to work on your personality, be more friendly, find interesting hobbies and attend to new class/courses about those hobbies. You will find a lot of people that likes the thing you like and it will be easier to meet people that likes you other than your appearance.

For the second point you just have to work on your style, body language and don't act like you are too snob and be more friendly. Trying to be the first to make a move also.

davidunal · 2021-09-16T04:09:49+00:00

Usually men choose the middle attractive ones bc we assume the most attractive one is harder to get and why bother. At least of course, the attraction is both ways so we get to be bolder.

EspressoByte · 2021-09-16T07:21:39+00:00

I can’t speak for others but I never “hit on” a girl anymore unless we’ve already have gotten to know each other and we’re comfortable. Often times, girls will be creeped out if they are hit on by anyone or it brings up bad memories of creeps that stalked them. I just avoid it altogether honestly because I don’t want to be that guy

gbizzle2 · 2021-09-16T03:10:12+00:00

Are you heterosexual

Deatroxiii · 2021-09-16T03:46:08+00:00

You're probably too attractive and men dont think they're good enough for you.

truthbomb999 · 2021-09-16T12:04:27+00:00

Social conditioning has led to men not approaching women as much fyi

SummerEarly · 2021-09-16T13:13:59+00:00

Haha welcome to the world of dudes😂

ApatheticHeretic_101 · 2021-09-16T13:31:45+00:00

Aside from all the advice below, look at your peer group. Are they really your friends or are they poisoning your reputation with rumors?

Long ago, I had a great friend (young lady). She was very attractive and cordial. She was lovely and so was her whole family.

Once, she complained that no one would ask her out. All her female friends would give her all this advice and assured her she was just unlucky.

All lies. They were spreading rumours about her, out of envy. They got payback, eventually.

You may want to look around and ask yourself if they are your friends or just playing you.

I hope not. Good luck to you and Cheers.

EggoGF · 2021-09-16T13:46:24+00:00

Hot people get hit on all the time. But you also need to have other stuff going on for you bc being hot is not enough. There are literally hot people everywhere. If you don’t have the charisma/social skills and career accomplishments/ambitions to back it up, there is someone right behind you just as hot who has all those things so make sure you are bringing more to the table than simply being hot bc hot is a dime a dozen in Los Angeles.

DiareaHandstand · 2021-09-16T06:36:55+00:00

Saw your picture on your profile and I think youre hot. If youre in san diego ill go on a date with you

justmuro · 2021-09-16T05:40:29+00:00

If your to attractive guys will be shy and go for the less attractive or more “obtainable” girl. U might also giving off a dont approach me vibe.

2021-09-16T03:42:58+00:00

[permanently deleted]

MisterShogunate · 2021-09-16T08:19:53+00:00

Okay being very honest. Based on your pic, I can see you have some degree of RBF (like droopy eye bags and droopy cantal folds) despite being relatively attractive. I would also guess that you are awkward and probably introverted so you don't know how to really vibe with people in person.

I dated this very attractive girl who was awkward af and couldn't make friends even if her life depended on it. Her attractiveness almost acted like a repellent in conjunction with her rigid personality since all her reactions look like she's judging you when inside she's just really freaking out that she did something wrong. An attractive judgmental person is the last person someone would want to try and approach.

reversedbydark · 2021-09-16T10:50:13+00:00

How do you dress? You need to remember that men are visual creatures, while women are emotional. We can gain 100% instant attraction by just looking at someone.

MountainCattle8 · 2021-09-16T14:09:24+00:00

Download Tinder and you'll have more matches than you know what to do with.

2021-09-16T03:35:49+00:00

Some kind of pic would help

sadhak_x0 · 2021-09-16T10:22:51+00:00

You're being out-competed by the other women, and you don't realize it. If I came to a group of women, I'll pick the most social and open one, even if my initial target was another girl in the group. Looks can only get you so far (at least with guys like me). Also, I never, ever, come anywhere near a so-called introvert. If you're reading alone somewhere, or you just came 'alone' to a volunteering event, or if I can see your headphones (whether you wear them or not) then that's an immediate skip for me.

SliceOfHeaven86 · 2021-09-16T04:07:16+00:00

Maybe it’s your style? Like the clothes you wear…maybe it’s not sexy or revealing enough an your friends dress that way? Maybe being shy an they are outgoing? There has to be more to the story

Chinksta · 2021-09-16T08:01:22+00:00

(blonde healthy shoulder length hair, bigger then green average eyes, tan, relatively fit)

- Hey bb what's up?

opper-hombre1 · 2021-09-16T13:25:13+00:00

How feminine are you OP? Your name is koolaidman and you’re wearing some beanie in your picture. You probably give off masculine vibes. No dude wants to hit on a masculine female

Rusty1359 · 2021-09-16T14:07:57+00:00

Maybe u to sex a mfs don’t have big enough ego to fuck witchu

KindredJars · 2021-09-16T08:24:07+00:00

Hi Babe... ;)

WITCOATP · 2021-09-16T03:06:45+00:00

I'd say venture into more environments where flirting, dating, etc. are encouraged aka bars, clubs, etc. I wouldn't wait for it to happen. If it's what you want put it out there and put yourself literally out there. Obviously, just make sure you stay safe.

recursivePasta · 2021-09-16T04:52:03+00:00

Like in bars and clubs? Or during normal day time?

If it's at bars and clubs, you need to up your makeup skills.

If it's during the day, then there not enough pickup artist in your town.

If you want to boost your self esteem, try tinder.

Sunlitstream264 · 2021-09-16T06:08:09+00:00

Approach first, you might be attractive, too attractive that most guys think you are out of their league or won’t go for them. You’ll get positive results more often than not if you initiate

Artist-in-Residence- · 2021-09-16T08:03:38+00:00

If that's really you in your profile picture, I would say you're very pretty, and you have a really lovely heart-shaped face shape with nicely defined eyebrows.

The only thing I would say is that your style is a bit grunge-skater boy and might give off a tough vibe, so I would lose the beanie.

Also you seem to have really cute freckles and nice skin, but it looks like you've been sunburnt quite a few times, as you appear to have skin type 1 or 2 and your skin is quite overly red, so I would suggest staying out of the sun or wearing sun cream regularly.

I also notice that blonde is not naturally your hair color, and to be fair, it looks a little fake- as if you're going for the barbie look and the ends of your hair look frayed and chemically damaged, so as a bit of style advice, I would perhaps color your hair a darker shade- like caramel brown with highlights or else even a subtle reddish brunette or deeper red might suit you well and perhaps keep your hair more tailored and longer/healthier. Hair is usually a signal of health to men, and men notice skin/hair first before they travel to the eyes.

Otherwise, it could be that you're in a part of the world in which men don't hit on women. You might have a different experience in places like Italy, Spain or Mexico.

I hope you take what I said with a grain of salt, I'm just giving my drive-by internet advice here lol

Legendary-Sleeper · 2021-09-16T08:05:44+00:00

conventionally*

yareelcom · 2021-09-16T08:15:39+00:00

but feel it’s either I am ugly or have a shitty personality.

I'm confused. Do you feel attractive or ugly?

Just start communicating, don't be shy, and you'll be fine.

marstwix · 2021-09-16T08:21:13+00:00

I am not into blondes at all, but I think you are very pretty.

Probably guys are too intimidated or your friends might suit their tastes better. I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you.

CerebralMessiah · 2021-09-16T08:28:07+00:00

Guys sometimes don't approach pretty girls since they think there is no chance so it's a waste of time.

TempAcc64 · 2021-09-16T08:33:06+00:00

Um, you're hott. Make eye contact with a guy you like and smile at him. THEN go talk to him.

The way you describe yourself you're my dream girl.

almightyPsh · 2021-09-16T08:41:42+00:00

Smile and be happy. Happy secure people will come around you.

Ok_Influence_5342 · 2021-09-16T08:46:49+00:00

From my experience really hot girls rarely if ever get approached, guys will assume they have no chance or that you are already taken and not even try. There's nothing really you can do other than approach men but even then they will assume something is wrong like why is this stunning girl hitting on me what is she trying to sell me. The solution is that men grow some balls and approach the most attractive women.

primallyours · 2021-09-16T09:06:34+00:00

Unfortunately not convenient enough for the guys you wanna attract.

TimmyTurner7986 · 2021-09-16T09:19:09+00:00

Look more approachable. Smile at guys and don’t look like you don’t want to be bothered.

bluedrygrass · 2021-09-16T09:27:54+00:00

I'm quite sure you're going out with people younger than you.

turbochargedprelude · 2021-09-16T09:35:02+00:00

Hey OP can we see a picture of you?

harged6 · 2021-09-16T09:36:13+00:00

You get stressed out easily and have high levels of negative emotion(neuroticism) most like based on what you are saying. It is insecurity but a deep part of your personality and unlikely to change easily. It probably makes you seem shy and standoffish with people.

MrBengu · 2021-09-16T09:37:35+00:00

Do you feel sorry for yourself?

seerslayer · 2021-09-16T09:50:24+00:00

Are you encouraging people to hit on you? Men hit on hot girls all the time, and I'll be brutal, not the hot ones too. So it's most likely your body language and vibes? Try and smile more. It invites people to take an initiative. If this doesn't get at least one person to hit on you in the next 3-4 days, you can hold me personally responsible. Hehe.

2021-09-16T09:55:12+00:00

Stop being friends with men and make a friend group of women. Most men are sexually not attracted to a girl who’s boyish in her behavior, because she has too many male friends.

fab2_ · 2021-09-16T10:02:02+00:00

same thing make a little bit more worse and that is how a feels . i feel the same guys are rarely ever hit on . i used to play football i have a good physic, i'm tall but at the end of the feel shitty/ugly.

Odd-Opening-3158 · 2021-09-16T10:43:28+00:00

I was like you when I was younger. Always felt ugly. Still do. Keep your chin up - I think you look great and maybe you still haven't met the right guy who appreciates you :) I was that chick who guys always shoved aside to get to the hot chick next to me at the bar. Men ignored me coz I'm too short and busty. Still feel that way sometimes but I'm pretty used to it now and made my peace with it. But I hope it's not like that for you.

ozymanhattan · 2021-09-16T10:54:51+00:00

Trust me really trust me on this. Strike up a conversation with a guy you're interested in. If he's not seeing someone and you're his type he'll almost certainly keep the conversation going. One of the things about guys is sadly in most societies males are "supposed" to be the initiator when it comes to meeting someone. And it's hugely refreshing when the opposite happens. Speaking from experience my girlfriend hit on me and we've been happy together for almost 9 years. Go get it little one!

LeitHunt · 2021-09-16T10:55:59+00:00

Hey check :
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
Good book, just felt you need it just like me few years back, you should give it a try

Aristox · 2021-09-16T11:15:44+00:00

I agree with a lot of the others here that it's likely you've accidentally adopted cold, negative, "don't talk to me" body language, and/or your fashion style is shit.

What sorts of outfits would you typically wear, and do you think there's anything in the body language idea?

2021-09-16T11:36:04+00:00

There's a good chance that people are nervous to try and hit on you

CharityBeaver · 2021-09-16T11:38:11+00:00

Sounds like your perception of the reality and reality don't match up enough for you to know why it's not happening. If you see it from this perspective then maaaany reason open up. Here a few:

you actually don't realize someone is hitting on you
- because they're doing it really carefully
- because you don't interest you
you assume to know what guys look for in a girl
- and you try to adapt those things, but your assumptions are wrong
- but you don't try to adapt those things
you pick wrong groups of people and/or places
- so you end up with friends who all consistently "position" themselves better
  - because of their actions
    - like being more active/talkative/energetic than you
    - like sending guys signals
      - while you don't
      - before you do
  - because of their looks
    - like quality as in "dress vs pants"
    - like uniqueness as in "this thing makes me stand out"

I mean it's really hard to judge from just some sentences, without knowing you and seeing what you do in these situations. Actions often differ from words, not because we are liars but because we believe we do what we say. In that sense the best you can get from here is some ideas to try out. Here's mine:

try to
- stand out a little more, maybe
  - you're getting lost in the crowd of your group
  - try girl friend groups where other girls stand out less than you do
- bring more energy into the contact than usually
  - with jokes
  - silly observations
  - by literally moving more rather than standing still
- not rely on your beauty alone
  - and pair it with other qualities
  - and don't wait for the guy to do the first step.
    - Send signals like
      - smiling at him
      - touching.. it can go a looong way (don't overdo)
      - making a funny observation involving him

We could literally go for hours on this topic. Easiest way is to try, experiment and see where it takes you :)

Number4extraDip · 2021-09-16T11:41:15+00:00

There's few factors at play:

1) now, everyone focuses on career and surviving, so dating falls on the back burner for a lot of people.

Life is expensive, Yoh.

2) most guys are more often interested in girls that are interested in them, as it makes them feel more secure/relaxed. (No one likes a rejection or being stuck platonic)

With that being said, some guys are more cautious when it comes to making a move, as it might get perceived as mysoginistic harassment, even when that wasn't the intention. Example: someone long whistles when they see an attractive woman. They done it to themselves (kind of like a sigh or yelling "fuck" out of frustration), not necessarily for the woman to hear it, but it falls under cat calling, which is inappropriate

3) online dating is a crab shoot between bots, fake profiles, and fake lives of influencers on Instagram. Which portrays an unrealistic standard of living (holiday all year), which creates a dynamic of people wanting to live an impossible lifestyle and having unrealistic expectations as a consequence. Both for their life and potential partners

4) this one might be rude but in a group of girls, even if all of them are attractive, when seen as a group and "number of options" every guy will have a specific preference, that someone in your group matches. Either they are skinny, or have an ass or tits or a cute face. As long as that feature stands out in a group for that person- they will go for it initially (might change targets if can't tolerate the original targets personality) that's the whole "first impression" aspect.

If this one is the case- hang out with guys, without your female friends around (or with less of them) I guarantee that you will be getting 100% of the market attention then.

Either way. Don't stress about it too much.

Judging by what you posted, there is literally nothing wrong with you that would make you not marketable.

metrozoominz · 2021-09-16T12:12:31+00:00

Can we see a pic? I’m a blonde guy with green eyes. I know the struggle 😂

eazolan · 2021-09-16T12:26:51+00:00

Do you put yourself out where a guy doesn't have to plow through your whole friend group to talk to you?

the-original-chad · 2021-09-16T12:40:17+00:00

Put your picture on here. Let us judge your looks lol.

Dxuian · 2021-09-16T13:03:01+00:00

They think you're out of their league so they won't even try

Secure_Dragonfruit69 · 2021-09-16T13:16:41+00:00

It’s all about confidence my dear.. work on yourself and they’ll come flying

NugMan707 · 2021-09-16T13:26:57+00:00

Alot of men feel that any approach to a woman would end negative and it doesn't help when we are constantly seeing things about how men are evil and should feel lucky to be in the presence of any woman. Not to rant or come off as a 'nice guy' but the mass media has told men that they shoul be ashamed of themselves in recent years for simply being men

lOwkEy_NlnJa · 2021-09-16T13:38:28+00:00

The way you described yourself and your physical features, if your body language and demeanor is not welcoming. As a guy I'd personally think you're too hard or out of league for me

HughBeaumont500 · 2021-09-16T13:41:26+00:00

Hey you green eye monster, what are you sqaubbing about?

Bring your cute little self over here and tell me about your boring day

*Consider yourself mildly filtered with

By the way I don't look like a young Brad Pitt (or even old Brad Pitt

Immediately blocked hahaha

That's how it goes

chriipping · 2021-09-16T13:53:22+00:00

Make a tinder account, if you just wanna get hit on this app is the way to go if you are a female.

Also, why is this marked nsfw? lol

twistedtowel · 2021-09-16T14:19:01+00:00

I don’t really get hit on either. Completely different because i’m a guy but it does suck sometimes i agree. But if you flirt with some guys, some will flirt back. It may not feel as rewarding because maybe you think it isn’t them approaching you… but that it still will feel good and then maybe you will start to subconsciously give off a different vibe and that will make people approach you subconsciously. Part of me is telling myself this, i think we all need to put ourselves out there more

glyep · 2021-09-16T14:38:24+00:00

Drop more hankys. Women actually make the first move subtlety and guys seal the deal directly IMO.

I never go where I am not wanted haha

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	181
Comments	96
Date	September 16, 2021 2:53 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pp4xst/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1276030 https://theredarchive.com/post/1276030

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