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[–]SinSlayer 36 points37 points38 points 11 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Unfortunately, yes. Some people have racial connotations that prevent them from acknowledging attraction. As an afro-american, I have hit a wall with some women for no other reason than being black. There really isn't a work around with these individuals. On the flip side, I have had the opposite work in my favor as well. Everyone has a preference.
[–]Feengaroo2 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Did you find a way that works best for you?
[–]mytuppence 38 points39 points40 points 11 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
As cliche as this sounds, it's not you it's them. I am an African American and I know some people just won't find me attractive for that reason alone. It's their lost cause I'm a fuckin awesome person. Don't let it hinder you, would you even want to be with someone who let's that get in the way?
[–]Mo_Lester69 32 points33 points34 points 11 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
nigga u ain't you ain't 'african' american you black, and an american. thats it.
[–]cdscholar -3 points-2 points-1 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
He can call himself what he wants. Who are you to define him?
[–][deleted] 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]DirtyBojanglez 11 points12 points13 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That nigga ain't from Africa and ain't ever been there!
[–]AWisdomTooth 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Why the hell did you get downvoted? Last I checked this subreddit wasnt the place for stupid cheap jokes like that.
[–]crbiker 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's not really a stupid cheap joke.
I've heard Americans refer to black guys from London as "African-American."
And people from the West Indies seem to prefer to be called black or West Indian, not "African-American."
It's PC bullshit that's gone too far and ends up sounding more ignorant than not.
[–]forcefulentry -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Stfu. You're probably white anyway haha.
[–]Mo_Lester69 25 points26 points27 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
ha. i go to school with a bunch of rich white people. a lot of the girls are the rich jewish type. yeah they notice race. but i'm different than most of the vineyard vine/ ralph polo and chubbies wearing guys at my school. i have differentiated myself from the pack. some girls like that i've got an exotic name and face. they say i've got good style. i've been hitting the gym too. other girls give me a semi bitchy look when they notice i don't have the frat star attire and that my life doesn't solely revolve around drinking and aren't too into me.
thats life son, it was never meant to be fair. i think of myself as an almost exotic trophy on campus. like how hundreds of years ago they would import tigers to say england and people would be amazed by its exotic, different kind of beauty.
so i say unto you, be a white tiger amongst a see of orange tigers
[–]AnonUser8509 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks, I needed this!
I'm an Indian going to a small college in the US.
[–]BitingInsects 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There was a study done, I'm too lazy to find it but it's pretty recent. It basically proved that out of a group of guys, the most different one is more attractive. And it's amazing how generalized that is, but I've always noticed subtle changes (like wearing loafers around all my friends who only wear Jordans) actually makes a difference in the attention I get.
[–]shitsfuckedupalot 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Do you wear leopard print hats too, mr exotic
[–]Mo_Lester69 8 points9 points10 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
tips leopard print fedora
[–]shitsfuckedupalot 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Roar, m'lady
[–]AsITipMyFedora 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Easy now...
[–]d100n 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If a woman is not attracted to you because of your ethnicity, don't put too much effort into that woman. It's best to work on your conversational skills to find woman who are more receptive and can be polarized to like you based on how you interact with them.
[–]RedStrike 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes. I've gotten on multiple occasions "I would so date you.....if you weren't asian." It happens move on. Nothing more you can do then to grow stronger from the cards you were dealt
[–]IpickupGrandmothers 10 points11 points12 points 11 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Unless you're living in a small town in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, race has a negligible impact. Speaking as a Chinese man who predominantly hangs around white people.
OP, please keep in mind that these types of threads tend to attract people with victim mindsets, generally speaking. People like to feel sorry for themselves, and will tend to spread that message to reinforce/rationalize their own negativity and lack of success. Don't fall victim to confirmation bias.
It's discouraging for me because I want to go out by myself and improve. Any advice?
You're looking for reasons to avoid taking action. It's like saying, "I want to get a gym membership before I start losing weight" when you can just do pushups or jog in a park. It's like saying, "I want to get an e-reader before I start reading more books" when you can just borrow books from a friend. It's like saying, "I need more free time before I can start learning piano" when you can just stop watching TV/playing videogames/etc.
Look. The thing is, your white friends or your race are NOT the things that are discouraging you. You're actually discouraging yourself. Your brain is focused on how to avoid change and stay comfortable, rather than how to succeed and get what you actually want.
Even if race did have a significant impact (which it doesn't), you're not going to want to just sit at home and feel sorry for yourself. Yes, it may be a little tougher. But so what? The best things in life are difficult to achieve. If it were so easy, everyone would have/do/be it.
Do you want to know one of the biggest reasons why seduction works? Because the people who actively practice it in a healthy manner take steps to become confident, value-giving, awesome motherfuckers. 95% of the time, it's not because they know secret tricks or routines that manipulate women into sleeping with them. It's because they've become powerful, passionate, loving men through the process of approaching, going out, and overall self-development.
Side note: I've actually found that, in my experience, being a minority sometimes helps when I'm with my white friends because I stand out more.
[–][deleted] 11 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]patrocles316 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
get your cousin Jun to teach you.
FTFY. Have to agree, the entertainment factor gets many girls wet.
[–]Feengaroo23 points 11 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Funny how true this is. I've been flaunting my singing skills when I get a chance but sadly that's irrelevant at night clubs or when I first meet them.
[–]boss413 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
OkCupid posted something about this awhile ago (link). When there's no social pressure, it looks like there are, unfortunately, racial biases:
(Chart)
Obviously that's about sending messages on a dating site, not face-to-face seduction, but it tells you something important: Race matters. It's not fair, but it also isn't a black and white thing: the percentages range from 17-38%, not either 0 or 100%.
[–]ZiRALiX1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I wonder how much of this is due to traits correlated with but not caused by race.
I wouldn't expect these figures to predict your success unless you're an exact average of [your race] [your gender] OKCupid users.
[–]patrocles3165 points 11 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
I'm filipino american AND 5'4 (short). Race is nothing unless you're in some ultra-racist midwestern or southern town. Usually as long as you look and present yourself the best way you can, you will win because you're exotic.
Although this may not be applicable to you since you've lived here for so long, keep in mind that there are noticeably DISTINCT differences between filipinos from PI and filipinos from the US.
One big thing is body shape. I've noticed that most men in or from PI have TERRIBLE posture and body shape. My brother and I went to the Philippines last December and we were gawked at because of our very "American" V-shaped torso body shape. I'm not even super fit, I just have the shape because I work out from time to time.
Another thing is your vocal presense. A lot of men from the Philippines have a squeaky, meek, voice when they speak english. It sounds completely normal when they speak Tagalog or any other dialect, but a complete turn-off when switched to english. I'd say to try vocal exercises to drop the pitch of your voice slightly and naturally.
Just because your friends are white doesn't have much to do with it. It is mostly the level of comfort that they are at. Because they seem comfortable, you seem comfortable. And because you all see comfortable, women will pick up on that and be comfortable themselves.
Remember, the key points are presence & comfort. Everything else is irrelevant. You don't need to change anything drastic about yourself. Be you, the filipino guy. But be the best version of you that is adapted to your environment.
[–]Feengaroo2 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks bro I'll keep those in mind. Those 2 distinct differences you just mentioned were the things I instantly changed to adapt in American culture but I still slip and get that "FOB" accent.
[–]patrocles316 -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In my opinion, don't worry about your "fob" accent, cause thats you. That makes you unique. I'm just saying work on the tone of your voice, make yourself fit physically, and develop a good posture. Even though I'm short, people 'feel' as if I am taller because I have such good posture.
[–]i_forget_my_userids 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Are you Filipino in the Philippines or in another country?
[–]Feengaroo21 points 11 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm Filipino here in the US. I moved here in middle school which was about 8 years ago.
[–]i_forget_my_userids -3 points-2 points-1 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Race will not be a "major" factor at all for you.
[–]lasagnaman 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No. It plays a nonzero part, for sure, but so does everything else about you.
[–]Bitterposer 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
There is 2 ways race can play a part.
On one hand, some girls are racist and absolutely will not fuck with certain guys. So there is no hope for them. Don't even try. On the plus side, you can figure out who these girls are pretty quickly.
There is another level of racism, which is stereotyping. The way out of this conundrum is to act the opposite of your racial stereotype. For example, if you're Chinese and you dress like a nerd you look like a typical Chinese dork but if you're black and you dress like a nerd you look hot. So if you're black, don't dress like a stereotypical "hood" person. If you're Middle Eastern, don't do anything that could be remotely construed as misogynistic. By stepping outside your stereotype, you can intrigue girls.
[–]randyquestions 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
By stepping outside your stereotype, you can intrigue girls.
OP, this is very true.
And, sadly your race does make a big difference. I'm half Spanish and half Mexican. I've noticed that when I tell women that I'm Spanish and don't mention I'm Mexican, their faces literally light up and they immediately gain a lot of interest in me. When I identify as Mexican though girls are just like whatever. I'm still the same person though, but yeah, race does seem to make a difference.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Before finding this sub, I always thought that maybe the reason I'm 19 and have never had a GF is because I'm 6'3" and black, and girls are turned off or intimidated by me. So lemme get this straight: do the MAJORITY of women in diverse, urban environments not give too much of a shit about race?
[–]malibijones 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're going to have to break out of the stereotypical mold most people put "us" in. I had the same issue when I was younger ( i'm 42 now) because of what most people saw on TV ( rappers, thugs..blahh blahh). I was 6'2 and played major college ball so I was a "Big Guy" and I intimidated a lot of people physically. All I can say is it depends on the ladies and the settings. If you were in college and they ladies are accustomed to seeing big black guys... you will be amazed at how easy it is to talk to them. Striking up a conversation out on the "Street" or in a "club" with a woman who is not accustomed to being around black men... it will be very difficult.
[–]Zyzzbrah17 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Idk if it does or not but Im hispanic so when I'm gaming American/ english speaking only girls I always use my spanish flavor, It sounds kind of wrong but I always thicken up the accent a little bit and play the whole latin lover game and they eat it up! If Im talking to a hispanic girl then depending where shes from I'll act accordingly. So shit I guess it does matter?
TL;DR White girls love hispanic dudes.
[–]stv1991 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I'm Hispanic and yet to have luck with white girls. Any pointers/tips?
[–]Zyzzbrah17 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I dont really know man I just kind of embrace it you know? Most girls have what I call the Julio the pool boy fantasie of a big buff hot foreign guy rocking their world for a night and thats just the mentality I use when I talk to these girls lol be Julio the pool boy is what I'm trying to say!
[–]stv1991 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So get buff basically
[–]Zyzzbrah17 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean it does help lol
[–]sexuallyfrustratedM 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I am an arabian male and what I have found is that white women who are anglo are by far the most racist and picky about race. A latina, black, or asian woman for example would rarely pass up an arabian guy that is:
a white woman on the other hand will pass him up because in her eyes, he is an arabian guy. It works like this: women from minority groups see an attractive guy who is from a race that is negatively stereotyped and think "ya he might be (insert unattractive race here), but he is still a quality guy" while white women think "ya he is a quality guy but he is still (insert unattractive race here)". I hope this changes but it doesn't look like it will. If anything, I think white women are starting to wake up and realize that race mixing is a terrible thing and tend to exclusively prefer white men as a result of it though some will go for black men due to the size stereotype. Guess you have to play the cards you are dealt, heard white women in Europe are somewhat more liberal in their preferences though.
For some reason this has made me even more inclined to go after white women just to prove to myself it can be done, that arabian ego kicking in I guess.
[–]djelenthe 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Are we just going to gloss over the fact that he said race mixing is bad?
[–]BitingInsects 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And once white women see you with other white women, I feel like it just breaks all of that. As soon as they see you're "good enough" to hang with people they're comfortable with you notice a huge change. Tinder - perfect example. Group pics with western white girls = more western white girl matches.
[–]1stClassWhiteTrash 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well white people tend to have a strong olfactory senses and are easily turned off by middle eastern men because they shower in cologne.
[–]sexuallyfrustratedM 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
anglo pretty much meaning whites native to the UK, Australia, Canada, or the USA regardless of heritage who have been there for generations.
[–]shitsfuckedupalot 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Im pretty sure its harder for Asians, mostly cause of that stereotype. Sorry bruh bruh
[–]YouTriggerMe 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I am of Syrian ascendent , i see no diference , i mean yes white people have advantage because well... is their country (i´d assume that you live in a western country). dude just talk to women , communicate to them and realize by yourself that ethnic does not matter. have a nice day bro!
[–]sacredshinobi 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why was this downvoted?
[–]nivar1 points 11 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
how often have gone out by yourself?
[–]Feengaroo2 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I've only gone out by myself around 6 times and about every other week when I'm with friends.
[–]jk147 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It will play into a factor but the whole point of this is to break that barrier. Don't let that stop you.
[–]nivar1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
go out more by yourself; ethnicity is not major obstacle for seduction, usually it is an advantage because you are exotic.
[–]Cali_Val 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Nope! you can break through any barrier UNLESS... they really don't have it in their "Love Map"
but I'm latino and I have better success with other races than my own.
Sometimes I'll get flack, everyone does, but those are just tests in my head & I use it as a way of getting deeper with her.
Women more than men, accept other races, so just go out. Look your best & act like you're the shit & cool & all that shit. And I promise you'll get good results
[–]Feengaroo21 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I like this I'll take your word for it man. I've been told I look like I'm part hispanic because of filipinos spanish blood, I guess I got that going for me which is nice.
[–]ThePUA_Baddie 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Learn to make the best with the shit cards you've been dealt.
[–]Wakkawakk 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ok where do you live? I live in Philly and can tell you that it's a friendly town, Asian men are devoured. I get that you may not be liked by everyone, but to others you may be a speciality.
[–]joshsway 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Depends on context... from my non white friends and research/experimentation on this matter w/online dating, it definitely matters, but I wouldn't say it is necessarily a major part, but it depends.
[–]RayDeAsian 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hello fellow Pinoy!! I am Filipino too; born and raised in the Midwest. All my close friends, majority of them are white, have told me I'm a unique person despite my race. Use your race to ur advantage
As models states it, it helps with polarizing women. Why should you waste your time to try to get a girl to like you when instead you can use that time to meet other beautiful women.
Anyways, I give you props for going out solo. Tried that once and let me tell ya, it's hard to push yourself since you are alone.
[–]FireMonkeyX 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm mixed race and I've had some girls find me extremely attractive because of my tan skin, and others finding me too Asian. You just have to roll with it.
[–]Squand 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Someone posted a video a while back that had a good answer to this.
"YES. So what?"
I agree with the people saying no and or it's negligible. But let's pretend for a second that the answer is yes. A resounding yes. A bitch you be fucked, YES.
Op, what is your course of action if the answer is, yes? Do you pack up your bags and go home? Fuck, I guess you'll never get laid or get a girlfriend! Because a filipino with a wife, who has ever seen anything like that. Not me. Hey, were'd you come from op? Must have been an errant sperm ricocheted off a turkey baster. I doubt it
Of course not.
So the meaningful answer is, fuck that question. And focus on this question. "How am I going to date awesome people? How am I going to be awesome?"
Well you learn to game like everyone else, you try a little harder to do as well as the guy born whatever color/ethnic background you're putting on a pedestal.
The answer to: does being Filipino matter, does being rich matter, does being short matter, does being bald matter? No, none of that shit matters.
But the question isn't relevant. Who cares if that stuff matters? You shouldn't, what you should care about is, how am I going to get girls? You want to get a girlfriend who is awesome, you want to be someone who is awesome. Take the steps prescribed. It's the only option you've got.
There is a movie, Gataca, about two brothers, one is genetically predispositioned to win at everything. But the other brother works super hard and ends up being just as good as the first.
In terms of skill, game is learning to drive a car. It's not quantum physics. It's not grandmaster chess style play. If you spend a month or two doing it, you'll be good enough to get what you're looking for. You are competing against a bunch of boys who haven't thought about game at all. Haven't stepped foot in a car. You read one ebook or the sidebar and you're going to be above 90% of the men in america. You ask a hundred girls out and you'll have asked more women out than 90% of the men in america. (Obviously I don't have stats on this. The point is, most american men suck at game and dating in general. You're competing against guys who send okc messages that simply read "HI" and send dick picks on text 3.)
We've all seen guys with missing faces, get super hot chicks. We've seen dudes in wheel chairs get chicks, we've seen literal lepers get laid and end up in successful relationships. How did it happen? They played the game.
Do you think you're worse off than a guy with elephantiasis? Give me a break. Get out there and game.
[–]Spiderman481 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
People tend to be more attracted to people who are the same race as them. Whether that has a "major" effect on seduction is up to you.
[–]nivar-6 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
ethnicity do not play major role in seduction. what you are seeing is limiting belief.
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[–]SinSlayer 36 points37 points38 points (11 children) | Copy Link
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