xpost from /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu A day in the life of a nice guy.

[–]TheBlumpking 99 points100 points101 points 14 years ago (78 children) | Copy Link

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Everyone please don't downvote people for going against the /r/seddit norm.

You are right. Being ugly or like me fat is a disadvantage. These are my observations restructured into a girls 101 format.

There are three things to a female fantasy male.

1) Good looks 2) Money 3) Great attitude

Good looks - Great to have if the woman only wants to have sex. If sex is the only thing she's looking for, money and attitude are not as important. All though a shitty attitude can seriously screw yourself here.

Money - Or as women would call it "financial security". When I was first starting out I had interesting conversations with women. They all hated gold diggers. Yet they all admitted to being attracted to financial security. It's odd because they are almost the same thing. They just act differently due to the labels.

Attitude - Women love a guy that can make them feel a certain way. This is where seduction comes into play. We can get around being ugly/fat or poor by how we interact with people. If you can make a girl laugh, make her smile, tease her, fulfill her emotionally, she will want to be around you. She will want to be with you.

Not only that. But there are things you can do to make yourself look better. Just by changing your attitude you can go from a nervous/shy looking guy to a sex machine. Confidence IS sexy. You can dress a bit nicer, maybe a little bit of flash. I'm not talking Ed Hardy, I'm talking different textures, different patterns, etc. For me, I can loose weight, which I am doing.

You really need to change your attitude. Yes, know that you're at a disadvantage, but don't let that stop you. Be a super fucking amazing person! Don't let it be a handicap. Be better then that. People around you will take notice, and so will the women.

Would you date a girl that was a downer? That had a problem with everything?

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I know a guy that is heavier (280lbs, 5'11"), wears wife beaters and slogan tees EVERYDAY with sweat pants of all things. He shaves once every 2 weeks and cuts his own hair. This guy has been with more girls than ANYONE I know. I'm talking everyone from bosses to total strangers. To be honest, I don't know what he does, prick refuses to share his secrets. I've talked to the girls he's been with and the best I get is "He just starts talking to you and you just wanna get with him! He makes you feel special". It CAN be done.

EDIT: I should add that he works as a shift manager at Target. No fancy job. Overcoming YOUR personal fears of rejection is the hardest part. Your awesome, you know it, they know. If you don't feel like you are the best human being walking this planet, why the hell would any girl?

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Going to Work...

Excuse me do you have a boyfriend?

In the train...

Hey have I seen you on this train before?

At the cafe

Looks like you're enjoying that book. What are you reading?

At a party

Takes advantage with consent

Honestly they are all excuses he concocted. Your mind pops them up as a defense mechanism to avoid failure by not trying but ultimately you are failing by doing that. Admittedly meeting strangers on the street is of high difficultly but if you cant get over the fact indeed these people might actually be busy or don't want to talk to you, then you can keep meeting them until one sticks. Truth of the matter is you are better than a book or the solitude of a train ride or basically the drudge of everyday life. If not you need to work on yourself until you at least can fake like you are.

Mind you also every girl you don't hit on is a girl you are going to think of later as "Oh man what if I hit on that girl" also known as a Regret. I find even if you hit poorly on a girl its better than not approaching her at all.

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[–]Kancho_Ninja 24 points25 points26 points 14 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

Holy fuck.

You know, I just talk to people. You know, talk. Chat. Make conversation. Find out who they are, if they are worth my time, if they can contribute to my life and me to theirs.

Its not that difficult.

Especially if you quit thinking that the goal is getting your dick wet. The goal is a connection - assuming that we are talking conversation here, right?

I talk to everyone. It started as an exercise to get me out of my shell and you know what? 3 years later I'm an unstoppable force of "hey, how you doing? Man, those are awesome earrings you have on! I need to buy my sister a bd present and those would be perfect! Where did you buy them? Uh huh? Were they expensive? On sale? Yeah? Oh, by the way, my name is Kancho ninja, and you are? Cool. Say, is there a good coffee shop around here? Blah blah blah.

I'm drinking coffee with some stranger yapping about their horrid boss or some shit.

It's freaky how some people are just lonesome for someone to listen to them.

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I don't follow seddit much, so I don't know what hb9.5 means. I keep an eye out for a thing here or there that might seem useful, otherwise most of it seems to be about either self-confidence or spending a lot of time caring about something you're pretending you don't care about.

I have difficulty empathizing with people, which is why I have trouble keeping interest in fictional characters. I sincerely don't care about most people unless I know them very well (at which point, I probably only care because I've built a bond with them and feel I owe them that).

Am I looking at building more bonds with people? Not really. Outside of family (which may be a culture thing), I put no effort in maintaining friendships (and I've never particularly cared for them). The main appeal a relationship has, for me, is that it's basically required for me to have a family. I'm on the fence as to whether I really want one and if not for the fact that I really want a family some day, it really doesn't seem worth it.

I just feel so at odds with the Seddit community. You guys seem to really depend on your relationships with other people for your happiness. Don't get me wrong, with a drink or two on the topic of my choosing I can talk to strangers for hours without a wink, but what you're talking about is not mere socialisation, but validation or something at least more. I find this confusing because the idea Seddit seems to push forth is how unimportant these personal relationships are, and yet at the basis is how important it is to have them.

[–]asoap 2 points3 points4 points 14 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

HB stands for hot babe on a scale of 1-10. HB1 not attractive, HB10 is likely a Victoria Secret model. A HB10 behaves differently then a HB1. These are generalizations, but a HB1 wouldn't be hit on often, and a HB10 is hit on almost constantly.

You are right it does seem a bit confusing on the relationships. The relationships with women aren't that important. I would say the ability to have them is. Or the ability to be open to people is.

Of course we only talk about relationships with women being unimportant at the initial stage. If you get engaged with a girl, then absolutely it's important.

But from reading your comment it sounds like you might have a fear of relationships/people. Which is somewhat common.

You only care about people because you feel you owe them that
Put no effort into maintaining friendship
Only appeal to a relationship is producing children/family

It sounds like you don't care about people. If these people turn around and hurt you in some fashion, it's ok because you haven't invested anything in them. They are already dead weight to being with, and you can easily toss them aside as you never had anything to loose in the first place.

This stems from a fear of being hurt. I used to be a person that always had problems with everything. I preferred to be miserable. This is defense/control mechanism. If I was happy for some reason, then that happiness could be taken away from me. But if I was always miserable then there was no fear of my happiness being taken from me. I was being an emotional control freak.

You could have some fear issues that you would need to get over.

[–]-shaughn- 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]asoap2 points 14 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]-shaughn-2 points 14 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I was thinking about what you said today, and it reminds me of a conversation I was having with a friend a few months ago. I do very well in very public social situations - like public speaking or in any sort of official/formal capacity. I remember discussing that I felt much more comfortable in larger, more formal groups than smaller, intimate groups. I've never made an effort to make friends (all of my friends have made an effort to break through to me and many have later commented that it's difficult) but those friends I have (and family) I realise I love unconditionally. I've thought to myself that the same unconditional love is why I want a family of my own. Hell, the fact that dating is the very opposite of unconditional love is probably what turns me off from it so much. I hate the idea of wasting my efforts on somebody that could end up being not worth it.

I always thought being cheap only ever applied to financial matters.

This is all fascinating, though I'm not sure I would ever want to change it. My parents stopped having a social life when I was born, have focused entirely on family/business, and have been quite happy for the most part.

[–]asoap2 points 14 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yes. It is weird. Even with close friends you can not talk to them for years and know no matter what they will be there for you.

The same thing can happen with relationships with women. Even if you just date a couple of times, they'll still have the friendship bond with you. I know there is a couple that would have my back if I ever called.

But you are correct. In the initial stages it's not unconditional love. I don't know if I would call it conditional love. From a male stand point it clearly seems to be that way. As our odds are improved if we say the right things, dress certain ways, act certain ways, and look certain ways. But the same could be said for us, we generally give attractive women more attention.

From a woman's stand point, it seems like they just fall in love with us. As if the universe itself couldn't stop it. When it's really their subconscious telling them, we're a great catch.

The odd thing is that, we don't need to promise women anything. If anything if we promise a woman that we will always love them and provide for them (this is in the initial stage) we come off as clingy and needy.

It's a bizarre world. But I like it that you're looking at yourself and analyzing what you do. This is a very crucial thing to do in improving yourself. You might find that you don't want to. But knowing in what places you can improve on IS very important to growth. And it doesn't just affect your relationships with women, it affects everything.

There is one book I recommend reading called "The power of now" by Eckhart Tolle. It's about how the mind works and how we identify ourselves. It's not exactly scientific and he does have an odd take on religion as being philosophical. But in it he reveals are very mechanical nature of humans, which is a GREAT read.

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I don't know... maybe i'm in the wrong subreddit haha. I'm in a relationship now but when I wasn't I would look for girls within my social circle that already knew me or of me. And if there weren't any girls in my social circles I would expand those circles and get involved in things where I was meeting new people (OF BOTH GENDERS). Girls at school, at work, friends of friends, cycling community... that type of thing.

It's really way too obvious what you are trying to do when you partake in this "day game" shit with complete strangers. But maybe some people like that? Not me

No matter who it is you don't really want to get chatted up by random people inside a coffee shop or on they bus unless you somehow pull the greatest conversation opener of all time or are really freakin hot... both of which are probably mutually exclusive and extremely unlikely.

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Physical looks do matter, that's the first impression we are given. I can honestly say if any person said hello to me randomly I would enjoy it and my day would be better. Of course, there's the judgemental portion of my opinion though. A homeless man who hasn't showered in 6 weeks, with no teeth, comes stumbling up to you and says hello, then coughs on you....my day just gets shitty. Now I have to worry what was flung my way via his lungs. If a man with a bright white smile, tan, and a suit walked passed me and said hello..I would probably keep my eyes forward and nod then think he's cocky. I wouldn't trust that guy.

Perferably, I would rather listen to the homeless man say hello, because it's genuine.

Now that I have rambled and created a gajillion run-ons I'm going back to work. Sorry about the punctuation. =(

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A significant other shouldn't make you happy, they should enhance your current happiness.

See, this is exactly the sort of all-or-nothing thinking turned me off to the seduction community after a short while.

Of course you shouldn't base your happiness on another person. Nor should you seek validation from another person, because they are always free to remove both your happiness and your sense belonging.

That being said, saying that one shouldn't derive any happiness from a significant other is silly. If you didn't get pleasure, happiness and enjoyment from dating and sleeping with women, why would you do it? This disconnect between saying and doing in the community is kind of funny, in a way. Intimacy is something that is a large part of any human's existance. It's a huge part of life.

If you think that not having a partner for very long periods doesn't effect your happiness, you're either delusional, dishonest or simply have never had a long dry spell.

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[–]graffiti811 point 14 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You want the story? Okay.

Went to the beach for a week by myself. Invited a bunch of people (through facebook, because it works well as a clearinghouse for directions and such) to stop down for a couple days at a time. One girl I hadn't really seen since we graduated high school (11 years now) who immediately replied that she'd love to go and was looking forward to it. The next day she texts me that she just went and bought her first string bikini ever.

So we get there, we hang out, smoke some (of my) trees, go to the beach. I kino (or i suppose my inept version of kino) her throughout the day. Don't seem to be getting anywhere.

Some other friends show up and assume that we're together. One of them (female) makes a statement that shows she thinks we're dating. I said "It's not like that... yet" kind of joking, kind of serious.

The girl I'm interested in looks at me and says "you're not serious? There's no way in hell. You really thought that?" and laughs.

The second one I just don't understand. She drove three hours round trip to spend two hours with me at the beach. I thought for sure there was some attraction there. I tried to kino a few times and she basically told me she doesn't like me touching her. That wasn't so bad. I understand if she's not attracted, but why the hell would you drive that far to hang out for a couple hours?

Whatever, I'm just moving on.

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Title	xpost from /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu A day in the life of a nice guy.
Author	BucketHelmet
Upvotes	468
Comments	140
Date	August 3, 2011 8:12 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/j82km/xpost_from_rfffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu_a_day_in_the_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/xpost-from-rfffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu-a-day-in-the-life.1320923 https://theredarchive.com/post/1320923

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