Does friends with benefits ever work?

TempAcc64 · 2022-05-09T07:13:35+00:00

Define "work"

Within my own experience, long term no. Short term sure.

However more often than not it ends three ways: It stops because one member finds a romantic partner, ONE person gets feelings, or they end up together.

jbo99 · 2022-05-09T02:53:21+00:00

What do you mean by “work”? Like do people find successful arrangements where both people are totally on the same page the whole time? Yeah. Can it get messy? Also yeah. I think the key is for both people to be pretty confident that there’s not really romantic compatibility and it’s just for sex.

It’s sort of a sad thing imo, I cut off my FWB because I got sort of depressed by the whole thing but it works well for a lot of people

Sea_Particular_9086 · 2022-05-09T03:10:58+00:00

Agree with both, jealously comes into play from both aspects eventually. Or one develops feelings while the other doesn’t. Can become very messy to a point, if both dont have emotional control in themselves.

great_account · 2022-05-09T06:14:01+00:00

Fwb can work long term if both people are confident there's no romantic compatibility and are enjoying the sex. Otherwise something will change the dynamic.

Frosty-Parsley9140 · 2022-05-09T03:07:04+00:00

Uhh usually gets messy after a bit. Never actually fully works

little_asian_man_89 · 2022-05-09T08:53:30+00:00

I have a good experience, and a bad experience.

I had been sleeping with someone for about a year, and when she left the country, she left her promiscuous ways and had a family.

Another, was that we slept together for about a month, but I had developed feelings and she didn't. Felt suicidal for a bit.

So... You know... Hit and miss

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-05-09T06:26:04+00:00

It works but not usually for very long. There’s a reason an FWB is an FWB. One person is usually not very attracted to the other.

ecish · 2022-05-09T04:49:23+00:00

It worked pretty well for me. I met a girl on bumble, we tried dating but she wasn’t into the fact that I had a kid so we just did the FWB thing. Went great for a long time, and we’d just pause whenever one of us would meet someone else.

It went back and forth a lot until she had a semi serious boyfriend for like a month or two, and after they broke up we were just best friends and it felt weird to sleep together again. Since then we’ve just been good friends.

She’s mad at me now because I don’t know how to be friends with people, but I think that’s unrelated to how our relationship started lol

erectda · 2022-05-09T04:05:59+00:00

Yes it actually work, but you gotta be steel your mind for not catching feelings w her, sex is just sex and pleasure not love. I’m male 25 and have been through FWB many times after broke up, it help alot but boring. So be wise and cool.

knockyouout31 · 2022-05-09T08:14:22+00:00

no, someone catches feelings.

Bold_Exotic_ · 2022-05-09T04:48:28+00:00

Mine worked out. We are two very different people. In the future, I eventually want kids. For him, he 100% strictly does not want kids due to personal reasons. We both also have a high sex drive. So we keep it strictly casual but like no pressure atmosphere or anything. The compatibility is AMAZING and just chilling, watching a movie together is sooo relaxing!!!! Or even just napping together. Eating out. Eating in. He’s like my actual friend but someone that I can satisfy my sexual desires with and make sex jokes with and turn eachother on and everything. It’s super fun. Going on for 2 months now :)

You just can’t catch feelings and if you do feel like you’re catching feelings, please PLEASE let the other person know so they can decide on what to do and if they don’t want to continue, you’ll have a less severe of a heartbreak since it was early on.

PM_ME_FEMALE_ASS · 2022-05-09T04:32:07+00:00

Yes. But you can't be too attracted to them imo. FWBs I find myself really attracted to just developed into me wanting more.. And you can guess the rest.

Anyway, had an FWB who was looking for a rs, which was fine by me. In a sense, I was a placeholder while she found herself a boyfriend - which she eventually did. Pretty hot when she's mindlessly sucking my dick while swiping on dating apps. Tbh this was one of the healthiest 'relationships' I've ever been in. Communication was very open. Zero jealousy, just chill no pressure hang outs and amazing sex. Also didn't hurt that we lived pretty close to each other.

As mentioned before, she's currently in a rs, which we both 100% respects, and we're still cordial. She also told me she'd definitely hmu again if that doesn't work out so yea.

Zayaaab · 2022-05-09T03:39:06+00:00

It can work, but can get messy if one of you catches feelings

Heretical_Infidel · 2022-05-09T11:46:52+00:00

If it starts with sex and rolls into fwb. That’s what I did in college with a handful of girls and it worked out well, only 1 got angry when I didn’t want to make it anything more. Then her girlfriend punched me in the face. That was complicated. If you start as friends then go fwb in my experience there’s too many emotions that are roiling underneath. If it’s not you, it’s them. Just my take.

NattyBat · 2022-05-09T12:12:18+00:00

It does until it doesn’t

NiceWetTissue · 2022-05-09T12:20:33+00:00

I can only dream about it fml

Empty_Butterscotch_4 · 2022-05-09T03:14:29+00:00

I guess it could. I find i feel so terrible afterwards if it’s a woman I don’t have feelings for

Minute_Normal · 2022-05-09T12:48:56+00:00

I haven’t had any luck with it. Two FWB back, once in college and once in my mid 20’s. Both times the other party developed feelings and I didn’t know how to proceed. Both gave me the “what are we” conversation with their request for more. I wasn’t in the right mindset for anything more so it had to end. The second FWB actually got married within the year after we ended things and have remained cordial.

marks1995 · 2022-05-09T13:40:51+00:00

Yes. Had a couple back in college that spanned year. We were friends first (pretty large friend group).

Back in those days, you had no cell phones , so your groups got split up when you went out partying. We didn't have Uber either. So it wasn't uncommon to find yourself with just 1 or 2 friends left at a party or bar and no idea where everyone else went and no tsure how you were getting home. And when you did get home, there was nothing to do (no cell phone/ipad/etc). You were watching TV or going to sleep.

That's how both of my FWB's started. We were the last 2 at a party and I had told them I would give them a ride home earlier. When we finally bailed, neither felt like going home alone, so we went home together and one thing lead to another. And it was purely sexual and even spanned SO's. When one of us was dating someone, we were 100% platonic. When we were both single, we would get together.

jamaicanManz · 2022-05-09T16:00:46+00:00

From my experience short term is works. The excitement is euphoria to the senses. Long term feelings start to get involved, and SOMEONE WILL get hurt. I would honestly never do it again

Cards_s · 2022-05-09T21:29:36+00:00

Yeah until it doesn't.

Pedrao420 · 2022-05-09T03:14:46+00:00

Dean_Soja · 2022-05-09T13:08:01+00:00

Only if you pay them

Pedrao420 · 2022-05-09T03:15:03+00:00

Mewoir78 · 2022-05-09T09:27:43+00:00

It turned into couple for me

FeroHoc · 2022-05-09T09:45:43+00:00

Yep, like an ATM, you get your money everytime..:)

Don_Doland · 2022-05-09T10:38:29+00:00

They don't last

heatherleean · 2022-05-09T11:37:55+00:00

as long as you have clear communication and boundaries yes. i have a fwb on and off for three years in high school. we were great friends in marching band together, who would also get high and have sex. we always agreed no strings attached, no feelings involved, and as long as we were always honest with each other it was great! no one ever knew we were sleeping together.

mtgxbuster · 2022-05-09T11:46:05+00:00

Be friends that have sex with zero emotional tie ups. It's very nice

RealisticWerewolf9 · 2022-05-09T11:55:40+00:00

It worked short-term for me, she developed feelings despite how clearly I disclosed my feelings of a relationship. I think she developed them very early on into the fling but I shrugged it off as me overthinking but looking back it was more clear. I still went on dates with other girls during the fling stage and when she found out, that's when we called it quits. We're ended it on good terms and haven't talked since, I have a girl now and there's been no trouble with that either. I learned how people hook up repeatedly with someone they don't have feelings for, definitely not for everyone though.

i_am_kaffee · 2022-05-09T12:12:22+00:00

One of you get feelings eventually one way or another

stuffie-king · 2022-05-09T12:12:23+00:00

I’ve had some “work” and others not, my friend and I found out that we were sexually compatible while talking about sexual experiences and the type of sex we liked so we decided to try it with each other and it went on for months till I moved away, it worked really well. Vs a guy who wanted to keep sleeping with me after a month of doing so while his (new) girlfriend didn’t know. That didn’t work out at all. I showed her the messages and they didn’t work out either

uniqueruntimeerror · 2022-05-09T12:48:05+00:00

never tried it, nor will I. Someone did try to push my boundaries, and I shut them out. I don’t have time for bare minimum. Because anyone asking this out of you is basically asking to have the benefits of a relationship without actually committing to you. That’s super disrespectful, especially in the long run. How does this benefit anyone if you’re just wasting your precious time blurring the lines and constantly wondering when this will end? Who will come in between you? Will it ever be more? Just for 2 minutes of what? Not worth it.

SylAbys · 2022-05-09T13:15:47+00:00

With 2 mature parties YES! All my FWB either ended respectfully or ended with us being together. But we just dated each other. We didn't juggle other dates. The reason for fwb is to prevent of constantly meeting new people and doing the same old song and dance on 1st dates

succcondese · 2022-05-09T13:45:50+00:00

currently in the early stages with two girls I'm having FWB with. I could have asked Both to be my gf but I like the current freedom I'm have. I am noticing that one is losing feelings for me and only wants to meetup once in a couple of weeks wich I think sucks but that's the way these kind of things go. I'm already talking to 4 other girls to potentialy replace her spot. I think I'm doing pretty good concidering I'm only 18, one year ago I was like the biggest Virgin ever.

ThePhunkyPhantom13 · 2022-05-09T14:13:51+00:00

They work about as well as any other type of relationship.

HENTAIBABE7 · 2022-05-09T16:02:53+00:00

Met a guy on tinder in 2019 and we've been FWB every since.

However, I caught feelings and he said he didn't want a relationship which was ok but it did sting a bit lol. Our sex chemistry is pretty immaculate but it was way better in the beginning.

I know him and I will never be together and I'm okay with that. Throughout those years I have tried stop talking to him but I always go back or he looks for me. We're fucking toxic and I don't say that proudly. I have and do see other ppl and so does he and he knows that.

Would this ever workout for us? Probably not.

Has a FWB situation ever worked out for me in the past? Yes.

b0ng00se · 2022-05-09T16:40:22+00:00

Somehow I have maintained one for about a year now. Communication is obviously the only way to make it work. We just started saying I love you to each other but we also know it's not that we are in love but we are able to talk openly and share about other hook ups/dating/partners/etc. Although we haven't had sex in a while now, but that’s more due to me going thru a breakup and not being ready. We still snugs, we just kind of go thru phases. I’ve never had one last more than a few weeks prior to this also.

Rheastar · 2022-05-09T16:43:02+00:00

I’ve had really good experiences with FWB situations. You just both need to be clear that it’s not a LTR and lay out the ground rules. Such as sexual exclusivity if you want that. Honestly about dating others. Etc.

TheEudaimonicSelf · 2022-05-09T16:45:44+00:00

I have had a fwb for 3 years. It definitely takes maturity and a mutual desire to stay single. It also takes a certain type of personality characterized by a tendency toward independence. Both of us are like that.

MFcrayfish · 2022-05-09T17:31:20+00:00

long term no, short term yes.

swimstud5151 · 2022-05-09T17:36:25+00:00

Only if both parties put the work in, it will work. FWB is different than fuck buddies. FWB takes some effort to be an actual friend and sex partner, rather than a fuck buddy.

Normally people looking for 'FWB' don't realize there is effort involved, and it doesn't work long term. Should have just been looking for a hookup or fuck buddy. It's a numbers game there though, so you guessed it, more work. Get'n laid takes effort no matter what.

Motife3 · 2022-05-09T17:57:33+00:00

Depends what you want, want a relationship then you need to have an exit strategy. If you Wana focus on other stuff but still get the benefits then is ok.

Friends with B in my opinion is still a relationship it’s just open that’s all

External_Lifeguard49 · 2022-05-09T18:22:56+00:00

Long term no. I remember being friends with benefits with a girl for a year and half. After a year she started getting jealous and in her feelings whenever I was dealing with other women.

Ficklefuker2022 · 2022-05-09T18:23:07+00:00

No it doesn't work. Ppl catch feelings 😔

These-Calligrapher · 2022-05-09T19:19:17+00:00

Yeah till one of you catches feelings.

No-Consideration1946 · 2022-05-09T20:40:08+00:00

I’ve had a few that lasted for years. One has joined my girlfriend and I and I joined her and her husband. We are good friends still today 4 years later and once and a while we still meet up sometimes. Another would likely still be around but she passed away. She was an amazing friend and great in bed. I miss her every day. I have had a couple not work out, but my general experiences have been good

afreelittle_flower · 2022-05-09T21:04:29+00:00

I had a FwB situation going on for six years actually. There was an eight year age difference, we were compatible on so many levels but I have always looked at him as more of a friend and he agreed. We still talk from time to time now that I’ve moved back home and he is even looking to come visit me soon. He’s just been a friend that’s always been there.

monty0824 · 2022-05-09T21:10:29+00:00

It works until it's no longer a benefit to either one of you. If you don't get attached then sure

hokasu · 2022-05-09T22:00:45+00:00

Yes. I prefer it to proper relationships.

Chicken_Moustache · 2022-05-09T22:19:10+00:00

It doesn’t when you’re young and insecure. It works better when you’re old and jaded.

DrinksAreOnTheHouse · 2022-05-09T22:24:34+00:00

high probability it gets messy. its only so long two people can be physically intimate until real intimacy develops. Most people aren't sociopathic robots nor are we entirely control of our emotions. Do FWB long enough, at some point after sex, someone will likely want to cuddle, lol. I'd suggest not being cavalier about going into a FWB relationship. It will undoubtedly get complicated.

S3ekingPeace · 2022-05-09T23:36:57+00:00

Yeah. You have to be clear and consice about what you want, and I meant down to how and what you consider intimate. Kissing might be a deeper connection than just cumming on someone's tongue. The friends part is easy when your naked but how is when a loved one dies? Will a drive to the airport mean something or are you just a dick appointment. Honesty is honestly the best policy.

Zestyclose_Ad_2427 · 2022-05-10T00:08:01+00:00

As long as both are having sex with other people

Elbynerual · 2022-05-10T02:24:23+00:00

Fwb assumes no emotional attachment. This means you both find each other physically attractive but dislike the personality. This is the only way it works without feelings being introduced

Title	Does friends with benefits ever work?
Author	Skinnylicious3
Upvotes	122
Comments	112
Date	May 9, 2022 2:48 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ulhizo/does_friends_with_benefits_ever_work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/does-friends-with-benefits-ever-work.1260146 https://theredarchive.com/post/1260146

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