I missed a shot today

monadyne · 2021-02-10T10:56:23+00:00

There are going to millions of opportunities bro, Learn from this and use it as motivation to not make the same mistake. Even Steph Curry misses 3's and he's still the greatest shooter of all time.

letsgetrandy · 2021-02-10T14:44:50+00:00

Look, Jack. You didn't make super quick eye contact. She was looking around for an available seat, saw one, and then looked at you to see what kind of possible creep she might have to sit next to. You kids have got to stop with this "eye contact" nonsense.

Now as for not opening your mouth... what the fuck? How hard would it have been to say "cold out today, eh?" Or, "nice morning, isn't it?" Or, "lucky, not too crowded on the bus today." Or 1001 other throwaway bits of conversation starter.

What exactly held you back?

I'll bet I know what it was: I'll bet you were trying to concoct the perfect phrase. That one, unrivaled, heavenly combination of words that you know would be the cleverest thing she's heard in her life, making her instantly fall in love with you. And then you spent the entire ride thinking of different words, and beating yourself up in your imagination about how bad it's going to be when you get it wrong, and then eventually she got off the bus and you felt like an idiot.

Don't do some pretend cell phone bullshit. Don't play games. Don't work yourself up trying to think of the perfect thing to say...

Yes, you are correct: You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. But also, nobody makes 100% of the shots they do take -- we're all going to have misses, so the point is to just take more shots.

Your failure was not missing a shot; your failure was not shooting at all.

Chicxulub420 · 2021-02-10T16:24:28+00:00

Don't ever do that cellphone thing, it's creepy as hell

MyNewNormal808 · 2021-02-10T10:28:26+00:00

Don’t beat yourself up. So you missed an opportunity. Learn from it and be ready for the next one. If it helps, have some general questions ready just in case. It can be anything as long as it get the conversation started. If she’s interested in talking she’ll respond.

itssmiii · 2021-02-10T15:00:29+00:00

Do not do the cell phone thing. So creepy

Julesrtc · 2021-02-10T13:23:53+00:00

Don’t worry, no one was born knowing how to date and talk to women; you don’t have to punish yourself for that missed opportunity, others will come, they always come, the next time, initiate the conversation with something as simple as asking for her name, she’ll give her name or avoid the question, and If she gives you her name and doesn’t ask for yours, that means she’s not having a high level of interest for you, but if she asks for yours that’s a good sign, as long as she is open to communication you have to keep asking questions if you’re genuinely interested, you won’t find trouble asking questions, let her do the talking, and whenever you have the chance, ask for her number, one thing leads to another, don’t push but keep walking.

HunkSeven · 2021-02-10T12:35:54+00:00

Don't forget how you are feeling now, it will give you the strength for the next time you are "afraid" of opening the mouth

socialanimal_us · 2021-02-10T15:07:30+00:00

I would say this is a classic case of censoring yourself. I would bet you censor yourself in many situations, even when it’s not a hot girl. You have to realize that interacting with people is first and foremost about expressing yourself and focus on that. Checkout this video, it will inspire you - good luck out there ;) https://youtu.be/0lKRM76uFeI

putcoolusernamehere · 2021-02-10T16:15:35+00:00

Missed shots are the hardest to deal with. I've done probably 1000 cold approaches in my life, and the ones I remember the most are the missed opportunities or the didn't approach. One that comes to mind is having a super flirtatious convo with a girl in a Chiptole line who was obviously into me, but just not asking for her number. Another one where I didn't approach was when I was just learning apporach (I'd maybe done 1 approach) and the Gods blessed me with a perfect opportunity: a cute girl walking to class stopped at a crosswalk when a funeral procession came by and trapped us together alone for five minutes. She even smiled at me once. I didn't say a fucking word to her. Take the opportunity every chance you get., the missed opportunities hurt way more than rejection.

ASTRALTAZAR · 2021-02-10T15:13:27+00:00

Dude I had a girl that was my exact type in my bed and I ate her out but when it came time for piping, I got too nervous. Don’t beat yourself up too bad lol

teatimewithbatman1 · 2021-02-10T15:01:04+00:00

You didnt miss a shot. You learned a bit about yourself. The greatest relationships ive experienced always started with immediate ease. A sense of internal excitement pops up

333825 · 2021-02-10T13:16:27+00:00

I missed a shot yesterday literally made eye contact with a guy on the streets I was hoping he'd say hy and that would have been enough for me

Marilla1957 · 2021-02-10T13:05:31+00:00

A simple, "This is a great way to start the day!" would've been a great opening line..... Or, "We should do this more often!" Something else.... "Karma can be good at times. Yesterday, a guy with BO sat beside me!" Of course, a simple "Good morning!" would've worked too..... You really should practice on regular people.....both male and female, so you're used to talking to strangers. This will help you to talk to the hot ones who you really want to talk with.

Butt-Toucher69 · 2021-02-10T19:01:17+00:00

Definitely dont trick a woman into giving you her number by asking her to call your phone, no one would like that even if they would have liked you otherwise srsly

bootyeater10 · 2021-02-10T15:00:36+00:00

[permanently deleted]

EE__Student · 2021-02-10T16:06:22+00:00

Nah you didn't take a shot. Just introduce yourself next time without expectations.

DapperDan1929 · 2021-02-10T21:49:36+00:00

USally better off not saying anything. 100% of the time it's rejection. Women can choose.

roarkhoward777 · 2021-02-10T13:12:16+00:00

These people are right. There's no reason to be this down about it. There will indeed be other times and you seem confident enough in knowing that at least girls sit next to you.

I think it was definitely an opening to conversation to have sat next to you, and there's varying situations on the bus that can still be openings but this one is most indicative since it's right up close ans personal. It's still gleaming that she at least felt attracted to give you that opening to initiate conversation and you should still draw some confidence as a positive from that experience.

In my opinion you may be shy or intimidated at times by some women and that's perfectly ok. One user here has mentioned Steph missing 3s and even Lebron lol and it's true! Many of the people here who have success in seduction still fumble sometimes and then see another hot girl somewhere else and feel maybe even more confident than before. Relax about failure. In my opinion there is almost no failure in this since even if the conversation is awkward you still gain things like experience and more confidence. So there is no reason to fear to be ignored or rejected at the end of the day a less attractive girl one day may reject you while a real hottie will want to squeeze every inch of you. That's how life is and is why you should prowl uncaring but with discretion (basically be a nice person but don't be afraid to seek something).

What sometimes has worked for me is to not necessarily think about the prize like getting a phone number or sex or whatever, but rather about the experience. I guess you could say it helps to not see them as girls we are attracted to for a second and just see them as humans for a bit. The conversation to me flows easier because it doesn't feel yet like it has any sensual/seductive/sexual connotations and like is a friend you might be trying to meet out of common interest like that friend you play cards or video games with. This helps me relax and not sound creepy or whatever girls be thinking these days lol.

I try to talk about general subjects with a little bit of flattery. There was a concept here before called negging. I wouldn't recommend doing it but if you absolutely must than do it on the most flattering side possible and not on the thing you're "negging" her about.

Mention her outfit with the intention to compliment her in a sweet but general way e.g. "you're dressed very well are you going to work/an interview/the mall?" Do this as nonchalantly as possible and she will feel complimented, relaxed and respected in the conversation enough to want to respond. Eventually after a few more lines of small talk reveal your true intentions with something like "I'll be honest not every day you meet an attractive girl on the bus. Could I maybe follow you on Instagram or have your number?" If she has vibed with you she most likely will, but if not remember that it's ok and it's probably circumstances beyond your control like a bf or whatever.

Be nice to yourself, relax, have some clean fun and complimentary conversation, go for the close, don't fear/hate rejection and enjoy the ride homie :)

Hope this helped in some way or another. Share it once you become who you want in this.

r32_skyline · 2021-02-10T13:21:18+00:00

Lol - on the flipside of this story is a girl that never even noticed you while you married her and lived 60 years ahead...

_-__-__-__-__-_-_-__ · 2021-02-10T17:03:18+00:00

I’m gonna give you the opposite advice from most people. You did the right thing by not talking to her. You don’t have to talk to everyone or approach everyone. That is needy behavior, motivated by fear of missing out. If your gut instinct tells you now is not the time or place to approach someone, trust your gut instinct.

You are a man who in control of his destiny. You approach women you desire, but you do it when and if you want. You do not need to ask out every woman like buckshot. Dating is NOT a numbers game where you have to ask out hundreds of women before finding love. You make love happen through persuasion and seduction. You do not need to keep trying and failing a million times before accidentally finding love.

Trust your instinct. Don’t approach everyone. Because not everyone is special.

hypnotic-exlie · 2021-02-10T16:05:03+00:00

Women don’t sit next to guys unless they are interested. The best opening is a commenting on the environment or saying something like “ what’s good to eat here “ Lines are lame.

theflippityjim · 2021-02-10T13:53:43+00:00

Ha! You suck! Ah well, learn from your cowardice and avoid it. Saying something stupid and losing her is better than saying nothing and losing her.

Skayax · 2021-02-10T16:52:48+00:00

this subreddit is a bunch of weirdos, you can't assume if someone sat next to you means they're giving you an opening, and getting someone's phone number without their consent in such way is so creepy and fucked

bootyeater10 · 2021-02-10T13:58:07+00:00

Now that you are aware -- you will be more likely to approach the next time.

jait2603 · 2021-02-10T14:44:44+00:00

Hypothetically how should he have started the conversation?

iron_ee · 2021-02-10T16:36:13+00:00

“You miss all the shots you don’t take. -Wayne Gretzky”

-Michael Scott

mainmommie · 2021-02-10T16:38:15+00:00

You should have helped her find a seat. Slam Dunk opportunity and you choked ..yikes..I need practice 😎. Keep tossing the ball 🏀 around. Practice makes perfect. You gotta be slick like Embiid👋

RProgrammerMan · 2021-02-10T16:58:20+00:00

It’s all about baby steps. Just focus on saying something that can start a conversation like “where are you headed?” “Are you in school?” That’s the first of many steps between you meeting them and whatever your ultimate goal is. Thinking further ahead than that just messes with your head. If she seems to be enjoying the conversation hand her your phone.

dreweydecimal · 2021-02-10T17:25:52+00:00

Stop pedestalizing people. She’s just a person nothing special. Stop thinking with your dick. Think or every woman you meet as unattractive. Then you can be yourself and not be a simp.

SweetMeatJuice · 2021-02-10T17:42:00+00:00

u/bootyeater10 we all miss when talking to hot chicks on public transportation. Gotta find a good woman and listen to what she's saying, THEN decide you wanna marry her

pacg · 2021-02-10T17:51:27+00:00

It’s hard to know what a person’s thinking. Therefore it’s better not to worry about it and just do an opening. Then you’ll know what’s on her mind. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

BouncyBlue12 · 2021-02-10T18:53:48+00:00

She definitely gave you your opening. 🤷🏼‍♀️

HeavyUnderstanding20 · 2021-02-10T19:01:31+00:00

she may have just been looking to find a seat that was empty. i find even on buses girls make it pretty obvious if they want to talk to you. ive been asked for my number point blank many times by girls. one girl was talking to her friends and they were talking about how much of bitch she is and she leaned over and said ‘hi, im not really’.

ive had numerous hi’s from ugly to average girls trying to strike up a convo. one time a girl came on a bus with an older girl and i hear the older girl say ‘i told you so. go sit beside him. go go. talk to him’. she came and sat beside me and was extremely nervous, then i had to get off.

a random girl once said ‘hi, whats your name?’ and i wasnt really in the mood to chat so i just ignored her. of course everyone in the bus is watching and i heard ‘what a fucking asshole etc’ from the bystanders.

dartyszn4 · 2021-02-10T19:19:01+00:00

Gotta shoot to score my friend. Literally just say whatever is on your mind next time and guarantee you feel better after

Panik88 · 2021-02-10T19:25:22+00:00

Try not to beat yourself up over it...plenty of other opportunities will come, just learn and apply next time. The “what if” factor will eat you up inside if you let it...

anonimo42 · 2021-02-10T19:59:42+00:00

The 5 second rule. Count down from 5 ..4..3 and before you hit 0 start talking

vansterdam90 · 2021-02-10T21:34:48+00:00

Listen to podcasts about abundance mentality and outcome independence.

That cellphone cringe strategy you should leave in the decade past.

Chalk it up as an experience, dust yourself off and move on. Part of outcome independence is that you live your best and just forget the rest. You didn’t know her, don’t stress your mind by running mental scenarios in your head.

ScienceIntelligent · 2021-02-10T22:28:16+00:00

I just find it funny that this was posted on r/seduction....belongs on a much funnier, sadder reddit than this imo!🤣👍

sob455ta · 2021-02-11T04:28:21+00:00

As you get older you'll realize not saying something is worse than rejection. Don't let opportunity pass you by. Also. If you can go to that same spot tomorrow but a half hour earlier and just sit there waiting, see if she shows again. You want to go early in case she was running late today.

zackislackinbruh · 2021-02-11T04:39:34+00:00

I think yoh had an opening whether she knew it or not

RocketMan6c · 2021-02-11T05:33:51+00:00

Only shots you miss 100% of the time are ones you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky

I advise against the ask to call someone idea with her phone but have it be your # just to get her #. Thats like trickery and come off desperate, could be hard get her trust after that. Especially first random encounter with someone.

Just try to talk with her next time if nothing comes to your mind. She's sitting next to you on bus so you don't need this huge attention getting ice breaker off bat with like someone who is passing by in less than minute.

Neil1398 · 2021-02-11T06:23:39+00:00

Happens all the time. I think this is why some guys can benefit from just making it a habit to talk to women in general (daygaming/night gaming)so they don’t miss opportunities.

It was approach anxiety. I still get it and I’ve been approaching for a while now.

Master-Shiv · 2021-02-11T19:10:19+00:00

To get my confidence higher when approaching i did 3 step workout:

Approach to cute girls, and say "hi" with a smile and a direct eye contact. Just that, and walk away(of course if she says: "wait that's all?", you should continue the conversation, saying: "haven't got to a level where i initiate a full conversation, yet. But if you want, i could skip few steps). The purpose is to overcome, the dumb thought of how scary approaching to a woman is. It is simple but truely the 50% of the fight. Doing it with dozens of woman, should eliminate or weaken the fear of approaching and opening your mouth. It helped a lot to overcome the BS reasons i tell myself before doing so.
Approach, say hello, and introduce yourself. Than say you think she is very cute, and wish her a great day and walk away. I know, this method seem so blant and stupid, why would you cut in a middle of the conversation. It is simple, you want to improve your weak points, to discover where u fail, and where u can improve. This step(2) i meant for you to complete 2 or 3 sentences, with a nice and appealing approaching. This step is sure skipable and you might just skip for the third step directly(though the first one is really important). If you struggle with the third, the second step is your go to. We are practicing, and we might seem weird or off.

But for sure, if she continues the conversation in any manner and your mind is capable of thinking of any answer, than go for it.

Appraoching, introducing, and paying attention. It is pretty simple. You come, say hi, say something that you noticed, or even a joke if you have one in mind(not a so funny joke, works out great if told with confidence, as it supposed to be hilarious). And continue the conversation! If she seemed interested and didn't mentioned a bf or a husband, and you made her giggle a bit. Ask her number(it shouldn't be hard at this moment).

What does these 3 steps help: building confidence when approaching, improving the flow of the conversation, and eliminating that part of our brain that keeps us afraid.

Tips: eye contact, don't sneak from behind, don't scare them, just make sure they do see you. Smile, it is contagious. And from a post i just read(at this same sub reddit) show you are interested, and you do desire her, don't make her feel you are just trying to friendzoned.

I might post it here. Hope i helped, if i'm wrong or something isn't clear, don't downvote, but say so! So we could all improve.

Title	I missed a shot today
Author	bootyeater10
Upvotes	429
Comments	125
Date	February 10, 2021 9:56 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/lgqh7y/i_missed_a_shot_today/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-missed-a-shot-today.1509668 https://theredarchive.com/post/1509668

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