"lets get to know each other before meeting"

ApprehensiveEmploy21 · 2025-01-25T18:51:13+00:00

“Tell me about the last time you really got to know someone. Was it online or irl?”

StrikingImportance39 · 2025-01-25T18:51:08+00:00

It’s not really a bs. It just her being safe. She had way too many bad experiences hence she is looking for confirmation that u are not weirdo and won’t make her feel uncomfortable.

Your mistake is asking for a number too soon.

Also, talking about boring stuff won’t confirm to her that u are a normal guy. U need to little bit tease, qualify her and just have lighthearted fun during conversation.

entitledwank · 2025-01-25T18:54:57+00:00

why is she going to go out of her way to meet you in person if she hasn’t even vetted you yet?

TheRealJamesHoffa · 2025-01-25T20:07:07+00:00

It’s a waste of my time, I’m not looking for pen pals. I think only unserious women do this.

My ex had us do this for months before we actually met, and the pattern of me having to jump through hoops for her never ended. I disrespected myself putting up with it frankly.

If she wants to text for a couple days before setting up a date that’s one thing and totally fine. I get wanting to build a rapport so you feel safe and create a little more interest.

But if she’s just looking to text for weeks or months, no. She’s either gonna basically use you as therapy or someone she can vent to about shit that happens in her real life while excluding you from that, or yall are both gonna build up expectations and hopeful romantic feelings for each other that will ultimately be let down when you finally meet in person, because you basically have to get to know each other again even though you already know a ton about each other. Which is awkward as hell.

InternationalSwan162 · 2025-01-25T19:17:42+00:00

You just simply don’t have to participate. I’ve never found myself interacting with women like this though. My hunch is it’s your approach.

originalgainster · 2025-01-25T19:54:47+00:00

This is a good message to receive. You need to build some rapport.

Mc_Dickles · 2025-01-25T22:11:34+00:00

I would simply make it brief, a few days of texting and then start suggesting to meet. If she's still not interested, then you've got yourself a pen pal. Do what you want with that info. Are you looking for pen pals? Then cool. Are you looking for girls to hang out with and get closer? Then it's not what you want and you move on to the next.

introvertp · 2025-01-25T21:34:26+00:00

She's not comfortable. That's it. Instead of looking for a counter find out why you're getting that statement in the first place.

You should be leading with the 'getting to know' small talk; "What have you been up to lately?" "Really, I always wanted to do x..."

You have to build a little comfort online, first, not be too sexually forward and always push for the meet.

DopeAFjknotreally · 2025-01-25T21:37:13+00:00

I personally hate getting that, but what can ya do. Some women just want to get a vibe through texting before meeting in person.

My in person game is 10000x better than my text game, so I usually just don’t do well with those women

PrinceDestin · 2025-01-25T22:16:43+00:00

Bruh you can avoid all of that if you just talk otp with a girl for like minimum 2 days

Hell plenty of times I’ve had one couple hr conversation on FaceTime and got a day to see the girl by the next day to the next few days

She’s supposed to get to know you on tha phone call but honestly

Share less about you and get her talking more about herself

On everything she will talk herself into giving you some ass

unfortunately_real · 2025-01-25T23:41:33+00:00

At this point I just don’t bother. The amount of effort it’d take can be enough to pull multiple other girls, gotta be smart with your time.

Besides, at this point I simply refuse to believe they’ve never met anyone without having been chatting for a few weeks first, which probably means she’s not as into it as she once was with someone else prior. Your time is better spent talking to someone who is.

Forward-Grass5421 · 2025-01-25T23:44:40+00:00

This happened to me last July on Hinge, and while it may be the case that I just have bad game (I'm 28 and a virgin), I think this girl was just a weirdo. We match, she's studying abroad in Japan. She was half white/half Japanese. Almost every hinge interaction I've had has been phony, because it's just a few messages exchanged every day and then it fades to nothing. Here, it was similar, but it dragged out for almost an entire month. Midway through she says she won't be back for another month after this... she asks me about my hobbies, deep questions like "what is your purpose/what is your passion?" And I'm thinking to myself... why aren't these questions being asked in person? Needless to say, after I gave my answer she said "I'm sorry but I don't think we're compatible blah blah blah." I had a feeling that would be the case, because it was just so unnatural and made me feel like a shallow person because I didn't answer it the way she wanted me to

BurnItDownSR · 2025-01-26T07:12:24+00:00

It's not a symptom of interacting with someone online, it's the consequence of not building enough comfort online and jumping the gun to a meet.

The better I got at building comfort, the less this objection ever came up.

shathecomedian · 2025-01-26T18:05:11+00:00

I will say I do like being right but not in this instance, I have a feeling I'm not meeting this chick. I wish I could make money off this somehow

iamlickzy · 2025-01-25T19:00:34+00:00

I’d move on or switch up whatever you’re doing. I have not encountered that before. I would never text someone for a month before meeting up, that just sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Are you matching with this people and then immediately asking them out without trying to connect with them at all?

Title	"lets get to know each other before meeting"
Author	shathecomedian
Upvotes	42
Comments	56
Date	January 25, 2025 6:44 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1i9tt7k/lets_get_to_know_each_other_before_meeting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/lets-get-to-know-each-other-before-meeting.1542148 https://theredarchive.com/post/1542148

Comments