I'm Asian in my 40s with a girlfriend that seem leading towards marriage. As such, I don't need this subreddit anymore and haven't needed it for a decade. Poking in here, I still see many threads about being short so I want to share my own experience and impart advice to shorter guys who are in their 20s...

I'm 5'4". When in my 20s, I didn't have a girlfriend and never got laid. I didn't stumble onto seduction material until my early 30s. Once I did, I got better with women and my confidence skyrocketed which led me to more success with women including meeting my current girlfriend.

In hindsight, I swear being short had absolutely nothing to do with not getting girls in my 20s. Is shortness a disadvantage? OF COURSE. But there are a zillion other type of disadvantages, many far worse than height. Granted, if you're extremely short or you're a hunchback, that will pose a challenge. But assuming you're not extreme, the "disadvantage" is mostly in your head.

Think about people you know in the real world. Many short guys you know are dating, in relationships and eventually get married -- perhaps with women taller than them. If they can do it, why can't you?

So I want to share my personal experiences and how there might even be an advantage to being short...

In my 20s, I was a nerdy Asian guy with messy hair, glasses and a nice guy demeanor who lack confidence. I had social awkwardness but it didn't come off as offensive or creepy. Interestingly, despite being short with shit social skills, lots of friends noticed girls enjoyed talking to me. Whether in the workplace or at social events, they'd frequently say "wow, that chick talked to you for a long time".

Now that I'm older and wiser, I figured out why girls enjoyed talking to me. Because as a short nerdy nice guy, I came off as non-threatening and I wasn't hitting on them. I wasn't like other guys who tried to get into their pants and had an obvious agenda. They can chat with me with no string attached kind of like how some women enjoy hanging out with gay guys.

Any pickup guide will tell you the hardest thing in seduction is simply getting the girl to talk to you in the first place. Without getting through the front door, nothing else mattered. I had a natural skill to get inside because I came off as sweet, non-threatening and without an agenda.

In retrospect, I noticed in my 20s many girls also flirted, asked my number, asked to hang out, etc., despite me being short with shit social skills. I wasn’t hitting on them but they were hitting on me. Without confidence, I dismissed these overtures thinking "oh, she doesn't like me, who am I kidding". I sabotaged these opportunities as a defense mechanism and this, and not my height, was what really killed my success.

Knowing what I know now, once a girl got comfortable with me, I could have then laid on the charm, do some push pull, demonstrate non-neediness, demonstrate ability to walk and escalate into a more sexual situation. I definitely would not have had any problem getting dates and being in relationships in my 20s.

I know what some of you are thinking. "Well, if a girl is comfortable chatting with you, she's friend-zoned you and you're done". My response is this. Forget all that simplistic PUA crap some of you might be reading. Women's minds change all the time and their perception of you often changes as well. Once the girl enjoys interacting with you, which is the most important part, you can move from a friend situation into a romantic situation.

Your goal then is not to sweep her off her feet at first sight as depicted in PUA materials. Rather, your goal (as corny as this sounds) is to sneak into her heart being friends first. Here's my suggested action plan...

First, make sure you get in shape, get good grooming and dress stylishly. Second, get your life in order which means going to school or working a job or have something real going for you. Don't be a total loser and then blame your height if girls aren't interested.

Furthermore, don't play the role of a domineering alpha male jock type. Being short, you're less able to pull that off. Go for being the nice sweet guy with no agendas. Once she's comfortable with you, you can then put on the charm and escalate further.

Lastly, I will suggest not going to clubs to do pickup like what PUA literature suggests. It sells the fantasy you can regularly go into bars and pickup girls and sleep with them. Not that that's impossible but it's unlikely for short guys (and even for tall guys). As a short guy, your likely non-success in those venues will harm your self esteem further.

Thinking back, now that I'm decent with women, all that PUA stuff about going into bars and clubs and putting on a show seems totally embarrassing.

Instead, meet people doing volunteer work, joining a hiking meetup, going to church, through friends, etc. In other words, do day game and not night game. The women you meet will be higher quality as well.

Once you get girls comfortable with you, even as just friends, there are good sedition material online that teaches how to advance into a romantic situation. I won't go into details as you can find such material yourself on YouTube. If you cannot, message me privately and I'll share what I think are effective videos.

Ultimately, there will be women who claim to have standards when it comes to height, age, race or whatever. Shorter guys just have to live with that. However, I find women break their own standards all the time. I'm reminded of a Asian lady friend who said she only dated white guys. A few years back, she married a Chinese guy. I don't think this is a rare exception. Attraction has a way of sneaking up on us and defy our logic. A woman can swear she won't like short guys but if he pulls the right emotional strings, she might find herself attracted. In fact, I'd venture to say, most women end up marrying guys who has violated at least one of her standards.

In summary, unless your height problem is extreme, it won't stop you from meeting someone great as long as you employ slightly different tactics. Your lack of confidence (due to obsessing about your height) and your lack of social skills are the real reasons you might be single and frustrated. I wish you the best of luck!

Edit: If you want to know my recommended YouTube resources, see my comment below.