Should I give up

mind_revolution · 2020-01-30T23:17:47+00:00

Dude single 35 year old in good shape, is a woman's dream. Men are like wine, they become more appealing with time. Women get desperate at that age. Just make her feel beautiful and remember you are the VALUED one now. You control the situation. Its all about attitude, change your mind and your surroundings will change.

Eazy-Dee · 2020-01-30T23:13:45+00:00

Man don’t give up. Just talk to these ladies little by little

STD_Tyler · 2020-01-30T23:47:57+00:00

Start with a brothel , then work on your game and looks .

lucyslooking · 2020-01-31T00:31:26+00:00

Ummm... what kind of girls you into? Plenty of guys (hell PEOPLE) in your situation just don't look at anything less than a perfect 10, blond big boned skinny girl. I was a single mom for years, decent looking, good job, but with a child. 97% of guys wouldn't look at me.

imayscamu · 2020-01-31T01:37:42+00:00

Look on the positives mate. You got height. 6'2 is highly attractive to women. Put in ur tinder bio 6'2 and you'll get matches just off that.

sid2810 · 2020-01-31T02:37:33+00:00

Hey OP,

Don't give up. I was 26 and a virgin in 2016. A bit of fat on my stomach and had love handles. Dressed shabbily. Had a bad haircut. I had all the tricks in my hat that could drive away girls. I decided to change it all. 2016 was going to be the year of change.

The first thing I did was to lose my virginity by fucking a prostitute. It did tonnes to my confidence. I was instantaneously able to talk to girls and touch their arms and shoulders while talking without causing any discomfort to me or them.
Got my self braces for my teeth. This got me a jawline after a year.
Started working out like you. 5 days a week. Hired an online trainer for €100 a month. Followed a diet plan and got myself a six pack in 7 months. Trust me, a six pack picture works magic on Tinder.
Got myself a pricey haircut, organic cosmetic products, a good costly shampoo and conditioner, a few good perfumes. So money can buy confidence it seems.
The thing that got me started on this was Neil Strauss' The Game. I further read The Art of Seduction, a couple of body language and dark psychology books. Reading has given me a framework to work upon.
Learned magic so that I can keep the girls entertained. Nothing fancy, just a few card tricks. I keep my deck of cards with me.

So all in all, I spent a lot of money, read and practiced a lot and I can proudly say that using Tinder and local bars and clubs, my count today is 13. Not bad for a person who had to begin as a 26 year old virgin I guess. The point is, don't give up. Work on your own framework and stick to it.

P.S. I'd definitely recommend losing your virginity by going to an escort. Will work wonders, trust me.

ChrisLopar · 2020-01-31T00:58:29+00:00

Read Mate by Tucker Max please. Best dating book I've ever encountered, and I've read several dating books, probably too many (btw ppl think Models by Mark Manson is the gold standard, this is about 10X better).

Alextryingforgrate · 2020-01-31T01:32:32+00:00

After reading some of your replies it sounds like you have a bit of a weird mindset going on dude.

Normally i don't go this route but you sounds like you need a good break down and rebuild from some outside help.

Have you thought of a dating coach or life coach. I went on a bootcamp not too long ago with The Natural Lifestyles, and some of the guys there where in the same situation. Awkward, weird, even broke down crying because they could not open about their issues when we had our first meeting and greeting. After that week of running around the city getting numbers, dates, meeting women is turning into a second nature. We still keep in touch and some of them are just out slaying the ladies. The good part is its not only just running and chasing after women but also doing meditation and clearing your mind getting you fitted with some better clothing something a little more stylish if needed. You will be talking to guys that have seen a lot of dudes thinking that they will be stuck in their current life for ever.

Not sure if im allowed to talk about TNL or advertise for them but they did help me out a lot i had some break throughs of my own.

grrinchas · 2020-01-31T00:51:03+00:00

You have two options:

Either you keep pushing and MAYBE you will get results, or give up and NEVER get results.

WIA20XX · 2020-01-31T00:12:09+00:00

Before you hit the clubs negging hotties, what's your social circle look like?

heyjude84 · 2020-01-31T01:31:07+00:00

Dont give up. Some people are luckier than others in that a girl or two had interest in us when we were young and we took the traditional steps. Nothing wrong with being you. I may offer a suggestion though as someone who also does not prefer dating sites and in the same age group, be up front about it. Showing vulnerability is a turn on to alot of women and they may want to be the one that pops your cherry so to speak, it may take them back to a time they remember fondly. Trying to show confidence when youve never been with a woman can be difficult, instead of pretending just be upfront about it. Some women wont want it, butni promise some will. Plus you're tall, most women like that. But i wouldnt throw out the dating site idea for starters , its just that, a start. Sex is fun and healthy and you deserve it. Doesnt matter if youre good or bad or whatever , lots of dudes aren't good, but they still get it. Good luck and dont give up.

Bcurious2020 · 2020-01-31T01:19:51+00:00

If you need help with you dating site profile dm me

thomasdub01 · 2020-01-31T03:35:40+00:00

No, don't give up, 1. you took care of one major obstacle weight. 2. Sounds like your focus is wrong you are focusing on looks, work on personality and finance. 3. If you really are bothered about your virginity then, yeah pay to get that out the way, but you sound as if you got will power work on your mouth piece how you talk to females. 4. Do you know what I.O.I's are indicators of interest cause I find it hard to believe that females aren't finding you attactive if you got your body in order.

I'm 5'101/2 come down from307lbs to 277lbs and broke and i get I.O.I's so i think you are just disconnecting in some way.

GOOD LUCK

Emart5517 · 2020-01-31T01:07:39+00:00

If this is your attitude, then yes, give up! Or keep pushing. Either way you go, your choice benefits the rest of this community!

eablokker · 2020-01-31T01:58:27+00:00

Visualize success. Your outlook on dating has everything to do with your conditioned emotional habits and reactions from the past. When you rehearse in your mind positive future scenarios where you are having success, you're retraining your brain to associate positive emotions to the experience of dating. The key is to really feel the positive emotions when you're visualizing. Then when you think about dating, you won't feel bad, you'll feel good, and that will keep you motivated because you will have fewer negative emotional reactions when things don't work out.

If you have relationship trauma from the past, then you can try EMDR trauma therapy to process those negative emotional responses from the past.

dmthiha · 2020-01-31T01:33:48+00:00

Id say use your height and good shape to your advantage

Thumperinthewhat · 2020-01-31T01:47:57+00:00

Never give up nobody likes a quieter

lazy784 · 2020-01-31T01:49:28+00:00

Hey man, im not a paid dating coach. I help guys out for free and you can check out my post history for proof. If you send me your tinder profile I'll give you some feedback you can use. I'm also good with life advice, sex advice, and what to do on the date itself.

yrogerg123 · 2020-01-31T02:00:47+00:00

Never give up. Ever. Fight for what you want.

Tha7upGuy · 2020-01-31T02:13:16+00:00

All you have to do is take better pictures if you're having a hard time getting matches on dating sites. Perhaps work on your personality? In this age range women lower their expectations for physical attractiveness but still expect the personality to be there.

thefestivalfilmmaker · 2020-01-31T02:26:34+00:00

There’s no such thing as too late! It’s all a mindset my dude !

peoplewatching88 · 2020-01-31T02:30:10+00:00

Where do you live?

brian-d-brain · 2020-01-31T02:31:12+00:00

In highschool I was always teased and basically humiliated by everyone. I must admit I looked weird on these days. Then when I was working a full time job I met a girl from highschool that was always among the first to humiliate me. She tells me in those days she had a crush on me.

What I want to say is that you never know. Also try not to rely on dating apps. The algorithm I stacked against you so don't let rule your dating life. Did you know the more you swipe, the less women will see your profile? Did you also know that these apps will also show your profile less if you swipe women that are not perceived as high quality? Those apps are terrible for confidence.

I think you may not have experience with women so try approaching women. If you don't have the confidence, still try to approach women. You can also try to learn how to do that.

For example learn to go to women and ask for directions (even if you know the way perfectly). That's all. Don't ask for numbers or anything, just directions. Once you get more comfortable approaching try to ask for directions and add something funny and see if you can make them laugh. It will teach you to interact with women and make them like you. Eventually you learn how interact with women.

I have never tied this but how about using the app meetup and meet people that like what you like in person. If you choose the right subjects there will be women aroubd to interact with.

Don't give up.

UndeadStranger · 2020-01-31T02:48:50+00:00

Lifes pretty boring without goals so yea

improvality · 2020-01-31T02:55:45+00:00

I would say try going to another country to lose your virginity. Find a place where women can't take their eyes off you. Like maybe a popular tourism spot in South America.

shinn497 · 2020-01-31T03:00:30+00:00

NEVER GIVE UP.

mikey82982 · 2020-01-31T03:14:07+00:00

Thanks guys. I’m going take your advice to starting reading mates by Tucker max and model’s mark Manson. I definitely need to work on just talking to women. I’ve had some good sign’s at points. One time I was at a bar with a friend and he ran game on a girl all night but at the end she told him she wanted to hook up with me, even tho I never even talked to her. I just need to man up. I don’t get it, I’ve never to scared of a fight or talking shit to anyone but just thinking of taking to a girl just freezes me in my tracks.

Charlie25335474587 · 2020-01-31T03:15:11+00:00

dont worry im 13 and every one acts like im an idiot and it is so annoying i just play video games to get my mind off of it and yes there will be some times when you want to give up but just dont keep gong you will find some one for you trust me.

DrixlRey · 2020-01-31T03:29:30+00:00

Bro, you already have a TON of things people can't ever achieve, such as being 6'2. First, looks can easily be overcome no matter how ugly/bad you look. However, would you send us a pic? Just to know if you're REALLY bad or are you just in your own head.

SrDoge3054 · 2020-01-31T03:37:44+00:00

Nah you just need a coach

MOTAMOUTH · 2020-01-31T03:39:06+00:00

Dude, get a prostitute.. get one off just to ease the pressure.

Reaver_ · 2020-01-31T03:50:50+00:00

Put yourself out there. Even if you're good looking, you can't rely on girls approaching you. You need to approach them. Regularly. A handful of approaches that didn't end in anything fulfilling in the last however many years since college means nothing because you didn't actually learn what you were supposed to.

By regularly approaching, you internalize some of the most core lessons in game:

-Approach anxiety never goes away, but you can learn to overcome it more easily with every approach

-For women, a good personality that is confident in itself is more attractive than actual physical appearance

-How you say something is honestly more important than what exactly you say. Good conversation skills can be learned anyway, so don't let this make you fear what comes after the approach

I'd honestly put money on the idea that you've been reading stuff on pickup for years, but have barely put any of it to practice. If you're only approaching girls when the situation is easy/ convenient/ basically handed to you, then you're not really doing yourself any good because it takes practice and repetition to truly learn something and improve in it.

You have to be brutally honest with yourself in this moment dude. Are you doing enough? Are you actually doing everything you possibly can, including going way out of your comfort zone?

You've gotta make a change my guy. Mentally. You've got some things going for you, but they clearly aren't enough. Time to do some introspection. Figure out what qualities about you are truly just your personality and that you should run with, and what qualities are inhibiting and need to be fixed, and then take baby-steps to fix them.

A 35 year old who can't put in the work to get his shit together is a bad look. Don't let that be you.

TANKER_06 · 2020-01-31T04:08:37+00:00

I'm 37, 5'5 pudgy Asian (in Asia) that can still attract women. I have quite the baboon face too, and I keep procrastinating getting a bunch of good profile pictures, so I get no action on Tinder and what not too. But that doesn't matter, I know I can do much better when I head out.

I learnt to approach at night clubs. I find it easier because the setting makes it normal for people to approach others, and rejection happens all around so I got used to rejection and learn quickly.

But more importantly, I have fun at night clubs. I enjoy music, I enjoy dancing and I enjoy drinking, moderately of course. People will notice the vibe you exude and tend to be more open to talking or general interaction with you.

So, find a setting you are comfortable in. Maybe it's a night club. Maybe it's the gym. Maybe it's the local coffee shop or the park. Wherever you feel the most comfortable and passionate at, start there.

If all you do is go to work, go home right after, work out at your gym in the basement and try to learn more about game online, you ain't going to go far. Get out, explore new areas and new activities. Expand your mind and horizons and most importantly, enjoy yourself!

Kinopua · 2020-01-31T04:22:52+00:00

Build muscle, get really lean, get a good haircut nice cloths, limit dating sites get good at game in person first and go out there and take action.

GenderEnlightenment · 2020-01-31T04:32:50+00:00

Upload a pic of yourself!

brun0caesar · 2020-01-31T04:41:04+00:00

How the hell a guy can stay virgin at 36 ? Just after one turns 20, girls are already throwing themselves on him..

chromepickle · 2020-01-31T04:44:17+00:00

Don't give up man. We're in the same boat. My Friend wants me to go to Thailand to lose it. I know Corona Virus is rampant. If you haven't lost it by Highschool or College perhaps a prostitute seems to be the only way. For me I'm only worried about getting caught for soliciting prostitution.

The alternative could be a Therapist or life coach. Church could be a good place to start. I'm just leave this on the coffee table for ya'll to read.

naz3447 · 2020-01-31T05:04:35+00:00

Sell the story of ur life and they could make it into a movie get rich and then lose virginity

Spicywtrmlon · 2020-01-31T05:11:08+00:00

What? Why was it removed literally the second I clicked it? My fucking luck

Reha_A · 2020-01-31T00:37:02+00:00

You know it in order to build muscle you have to break it first, keep doing it and you will see changes and results in big chunk of times like 3-6 months after taking action and being consistent.

GenderEnlightenment · 2020-01-31T04:45:39+00:00

Forget all about PUA stuff and terminology, and just talk to girls. Flirt. Make them laugh, compliment them. If you’re not sure what to say, say whatever you are thinking. I bet there are women all around you who’d love to go out with you (based on your pic). You just gotta get out of your own way and take action. It only takes ONE girl to say yes, even just making out, and YEARS of fear and frustration can vanish in a heartbeat. Then it’s game on.

Title	Should I give up
Author	mikey82982
Upvotes	131
Comments	81
Date	January 30, 2020 11:10 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ewe9to/should_i_give_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/should-i-give-up.1489552 https://theredarchive.com/post/1489552

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