(To All My Struggling Guys) Stop Overthinking it. This is Game in a Nutshell.

recyclablebanthas · 2021-09-14T00:30:59+00:00

There's some good stuff in here but a pretty significant issue:

Ya know what happens when you do those things that satisfy you and make you a better man? Can ya guess??? Answer: WOMEN COME FLOCKING TO YOU!

You make this sound as if women will do all the work if a guy has improved himself. Which is false, or at the very least as incomplete as telling someone to just be themselves.

And you present this whole post as if it encapsulates all the game they need to know, but it doesn't mention something as vital as calibration/empathy.

Many of the guys coming here don't actually have a confidence problem, they have a social skills problem: they aren't sure how to hold up their end of a conversation or how to start it. Having the confidence to make moves is not enough if one doesn't know when and how.

This post has been taken down because it will create more confusion than it resolves.

TheRealAlkemyst · 2021-09-12T02:29:28+00:00

Here is my game in a nut, be happy. When you are happy you will attract people. Don't look at every person as someone to bone. If a dude wants to hang out with you, help him out. Don't be an asshat.

I have been broke, fat, and with a crappy car and I have still met real quality women. That said, the deal was not sealed all the time. Her and I had a nice evening.

A lot of my exes are still very good friends. We don't hang out and the like, but if we need something the other can help with we send messages.

I don't understand the issues today people have meating someone. :)

HeavenPiercingMan · 2021-09-12T03:38:34+00:00

You still have to do some active measures to meet and choose them instead of "trusting the odds"... women won't "arrive" in your life just by themselves, not for a lot of us, or they will but they'll be way below your standards.

By doing my thing, keeping myself in great shape and "letting them come eventually", I ended up dating the ugliest legbeard in my college. I got a lot of times "how could a handsome guy like you date someone like that instead of someone of your league?" Well, the ones in my league never "came". I didn't exist for them. The legbeard at least treated me like a man.

thisisallanqallan · 2021-09-12T02:16:42+00:00

Yes but where to go from hello. I draw a blank usually after that.

MixxMaster · 2021-09-12T03:33:52+00:00

"Ya know what happens when you do those things that satisfy you and make you a better man? Can ya guess??? Answer: WOMEN COME FLOCKING TO YOU!"

Yeah, that is complete and utter bullshit right there.

ShiroSagisu · 2021-09-12T08:44:58+00:00

``Answer: WOMEN COME FLOCKING TO YOU! And not just any women…the women that come flocking are those that are of a similar mindset.``

They havent at all.

Ok_Investigator4828 · 2021-09-12T03:32:35+00:00

This is probably rediculous but my biggest fear is that if i were to approach a random girl on the street whom i like i will be accused of harrassment (unwanted attention, etc.). It does not matter what you say or do, but it seems like the society has atomized so much that it became socially unacceptable to talk to girls randomly unless you have a clearly defined, platonic purpose ("what time is it?" "How could i get to this street, etc?"). Am i overthinking it? Is everything really that bad or it's still possible to meet someone at the gym or at the grocery store without being a "creep?" I'm genuinely curious: I'm 24 and was too focused on school and work to date, and now i have to catch up.

chethelesser · 2021-09-12T04:37:15+00:00

Yeah, a 5'4 nerd who nails his exams and excels at dnd... Women are flocking for sure

Intelligent_Time633 · 2021-09-12T09:19:31+00:00

"Ya know what happens when you do those things that satisfy you and make
you a better man? Can ya guess??? Answer: WOMEN COME FLOCKING TO YOU! "

I knew a deer hunter once that never trained in marksmanship, never used baits or lures, never tracked. He just walked into the woods and he was so CONFIDENT the deer would just fall at his feet.

Andress1 · 2021-09-12T07:29:47+00:00

In most cases women won't come to you, even with all that self improvement. I know because I'm at my peak and it doesn't. You have to approach and make the first move.

2021-09-12T00:18:39+00:00

My motto has always been “I don’t have to attract every man, just the right man”. Having people of every difference throwing themselves at you can be fun, but what’s the fun if you don’t get anything from it? I want people to talk to me and have a conversation, share interests, and engage. I don’t want people up and down trying to make small talk being too scared to talk to me so they have a friend tell me instead. It’s weird. I think it also matters the type of people you attract, not just that you attract people. You could be the hottest man in the world and so BORING. It wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t matter how many women want you too, if they’re only in it for the looks then that’s not attracting the right kind of person for you anyway.

sophist16 · 2021-09-12T02:41:53+00:00

[permanently deleted]

KindredJars · 2021-09-12T08:41:08+00:00

I used to have this mentality and would've said the same exact stuff OP is saying.

The reason people like hearing this is because it makes them feel good about not having to actually take risks and face their insecurities with women. In other words, they can do their own thing, work on themselves, and be friendly with some girls that they meet through work or various circles, and feel like girls are attracted to them simply because they're talking to girls and the girls are friendly.

Lo and behold this guy will never actually have a girlfriend he really is seriously attracted to. And he will completely lose his shit the moment he comes face to face with a very hot girl. He will make some "conversation" with somewhat attractive girls here and there (usually easy targets like retail employees) and think that these count as "approaches", when all he's doing is making small talk and not actually going for them.

This is basically a coping/self-preservation strategy for a guy to protect his ego and tell himself that he "could" get girls if he wanted, while not taking any real action that could end in rejection.

Yes, you should focus on your own stuff and get it together. But women will NOT flock to you. At most they'll be A LITTLE curious as to what you're about, since you seem so focused on yourself. However, IT ENDS THERE. This isn't ATTRACTION. It's just simply, "oh, that guy seems to really have a purpose in his life. okay." AND this only applies to girls in your circles (work, etc.). Forget strangers, they will never initiate. You, as the guy, still have to initiate, talk to her, attract, and navigate the entire process of dating her. Being "on your purpose" and all that stuff will not teach you how to actually interact with girls successfully. It will NOT teach you how to approach a hot girl when she's with her friends and the social skills needed to navigate that situation for a positive outcome.

If you buy into this "focus on yourself and the women will come" mindset, then let me challenge you to do this: Go out and approach seriously hot girls and try to talk to them. See what happens. Most likely, you won't even be able to approach. Or if you do you'll lose your shit and realize that you don't have a clue what you're doing. All your "self-focus" goes out the window because all you're offering in that moment to the girl is that single moment. Your accomplishments don't come along with you and ooze out of you in the form of confidence. Don't believe me? Try it.

Trust me.. as someone who "focused on myself" for 10 years with this exact mentality and scoffed at all the "dating advice" material out there, telling myself things like, "Why would I need to watch a youtube video about attracting girls? I'm such a cool guy." BTW I've traveled and worked all over the world and have had experiences that will rival anyone. People who actually know me DO think i'm really cool because of all the shit i've done. BUT... none of that shit matters soon we I'm face to face with the girl that I REALLY WANT.

I'm NOT saying become a "pua" and learn a bunch of strange techniques and routines. I'm saying that dating and interacting with girls IS a skill that you must learn through study/experience.

Like i said, for anyone who doesn't believe me, go and try to approach a girl you're seriously attracted to. None of these "cute baristas" where you can easily make small talk and they have to smile back and answer your boring questions because it's their job. I'm talking about a random girl at a grocery store with 0 context between you two that you think is a 10/10. Watch what happens.

eablokker · 2021-09-12T06:21:03+00:00

Your post reads like someone who is trying to gain a high status within this community by claiming that you have it all figured out and everyone else is wrong, so come ask me everything so you will all worship me and the rest of you are losers and idiots. It's pathetic. It hasn't occurred to you at all that some people have social anxiety, some people are overly sensitive to rejection, some people have emotional baggage and relationship trauma. Some people would have a panic attack if they tried to say hello to a woman. Your post does nothing to address the real struggles that people in here have. All you're doing is flexing. "Look how easy it is for me."

We get posts like yours in here about once a month. You all are idiots, I have it all figured out, if you would just listen to me, it's so simple, blah blah blah.

I have followed your advice. I had zero girlfriends in college. Most of my friends are married and have kids, some of my friends have been in multiple relationships. I had a girlfriend once for about a month in high school. I focused on achieving more than anybody in school and career, more successful than all my friends and I am completely alone and have been the whole time.

Your advice sucks my balls.

Due_Entertainment_66 · 2021-09-12T11:10:52+00:00

All sounds well, and we have heard it 100s of times in one or other way.But the real question stays, HOW TF can someone have such confidence in the face of adversity thats life. How are people strong when they don't look good, don't have anything to be proud of, they have to handle work, life, responsibility, and are low on energy etc etc etc.How can i simply ignore all the above, and think i can handle it with not money, average brain and everything, no history of success to rely on. just HOW ?
It may seem like i have negative outlook on life ! then you are right, and thats the question.

Woujo · 2021-09-12T14:45:06+00:00

Sorry, this type of oversimplification does not work. "Focus on yourself" and "have fun" are true, but are easier said than done. How does one "focus on yourself" and "have fun" when you are approaching a woman? What do you say? How do you react when she says and does certain things? You need to learn the details to actually succeed.

Another problem with these oversimplification posts is that they use terms that are not defined. What does it mean to "be confident." That's great if you are naturally confident, but what about guys who are not naturally confident. What should they do?

If getting laid was this easy and you needed to read was 3 paragraphs then the world would be a much different place. I agree that overthinking is a bad thing, but this ain't it.

lunaokazul · 2021-09-12T12:53:45+00:00

Amazing. Same goes for women with men. Women are taught from a young that love is everything. Love is everything indeed but not any love, self love. Other types of love will come once you fill your life with things you love and cherish. It’ll come once you’re fulfilled and content with yourself, once you can be alone without feeling lonely. Otherwise you’ll always have a void and you’ll always obsess over it and never be happy.

Calm_Masty_8542 · 2021-09-12T01:15:44+00:00

Your in the nutshell is very accurate, things are not that complicated as they are made, i mean its good of you know psychology behind , why women do what they do but thats bunch of crap. Its like you know the characteristics of water right you dont have to study about it again and again! Just to drink it or to do what ever you want with it... In a nutshell dont try to hard for it and you might have a chance.

SyreksDungeon · 2021-09-12T01:43:09+00:00

This is gold!

theprufeshanul · 2021-09-12T13:25:48+00:00

OP has nailed it.

Women are hard-wired to be attracted to attractive things.

Are you attractive? If not, put in the work to make yourself so, work out, get a raise, dress better, achieve more and let nature take its course.

Checkmate101 · 2021-09-12T09:06:06+00:00

I needed this, thank you.

imotski88 · 2021-09-12T13:13:43+00:00

Generally you're right. Simply doing it is 80%. Without trying the best game theory is Worthless. But i saw many naturals who aren't afraid to approach lacking the knowledge how to close a girl. Most of them could double their results by applying some game stuff like kino, spikes, importance of good balance of comfort/c&f, abc-always be closing etc.

MuMuGorgeus · 2021-09-12T13:19:41+00:00

You are probably right. The trick lays on overcoming insecurities and anxieties than actually applying a method to get women.

Appropriate_Ad3327 · 2021-09-12T10:43:25+00:00

Be tall. Life gets easier after that

069reasonswhy · 2021-09-12T05:57:16+00:00

Sounds cliché and narcissist. But, when i started investing on myself like literally just focused on my emotions, actions and well being. I observed, not only i improved mentally and physically but somewhat my appeal to woman. As its pretty common for me now, to catch a woman glancing at me. No kidding! a complete jump start from who i was back in 2015.

pdx4nhl · 2021-09-12T06:04:12+00:00

One thing this post misses: some men enjoy the hobby of picking up women…that’s their extracurricular activity. (Should it be? That’s a different discussion), but in essence there are men who like “studying” pickup, they like the camaraderie and the challenge of trying new and different things. Again, this may not be the best approach but it is an activity some men enjoy more than other activities.

Yujir0Hanma · 2021-09-12T07:13:11+00:00

I read about how theres a few guys out there that have perfected game and can use that to be successful w almost any woman he runs into, using this technique in cold approaches and using seductive techniques (like how a comedian knows how to naturally tickle funny bone to make anyone laugh) to make most girls chase them in the moment, laying with girls the first day they meet. Over the years cold approach went from something of legends that only the top guys can pursue to something pushed as being pushed onto beginners. Is this true?

Emotional_Grape8449 · 2021-09-12T16:40:37+00:00

Is 34 years too old to get women? If not, what are the way to approach women and dealing with rejection?

oxidate678 · 2021-09-12T17:37:27+00:00

I'm sorry but this is really bad advice.

You know what happens when you focus on your education, career and hobbies? You get a good education and a good career with fulfilling hobbies. But unless you're like a DJ or something, no chicks will come flocking, I can assure you of that.

The truth is, if you want to handle this part of your life, you need to focus on it specifically, and in ways that are often orthogonal to the other parts of your life.

sophist16 · 2021-09-12T21:16:10+00:00

sure be happy, but it doesnt mean you will get women. increase in happiness doesnt equal to increase in lays

Goulronk · 2021-09-13T10:02:52+00:00

Ya know what happens when you do those things that satisfy you and make you a better man? Can ya guess??? Answer: WOMEN COME FLOCKING TO YOU!

From first hand experience I can say that this is simply not true even in the slightest.

My friend said something similar to me a few years ago and since that time I've gotten into a myriad of hobbies, so many that I explored but only a few in stayed filly interested in as my time became more scarce.

While I have met people and made new friends etc. And I do honestly enjoy said hobbies that I chose and I do reccomend any person to join hobbies they want, however since joining these hobbies there has been zero correlation to success with women.

Title	(To All My Struggling Guys) Stop Overthinking it. This is Game in a Nutshell.
Author	sophist16
Upvotes	326
Comments	103
Date	September 12, 2021 12:04 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pmiaus/to_all_my_struggling_guys_stop_overthinking_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/to-all-my-struggling-guys-stop-overthinking-it.1276291 https://theredarchive.com/post/1276291

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