Went out solo today

jjboy91 · 2024-05-15T21:36:39+00:00

You know why you're failing ? Because you have expectations from the encounters you will have during your day. Next time just go out to enjoy yourself and expect nothing. You will see that you won't stress a bit.

Chicagoj1563 · 2024-05-15T21:47:13+00:00

If you’re going to do mall game, you may try something simple that takes 10 seconds. Ask for directions or anything else that is easy. Stretch it out little by little.

Go watch vadeem from honest signalz. Watch his daytime approaches. That’s all you need to do. Have fun, be non serious, playful, self amusing , and learn how to make casual conversation and improvise a bit. Keep it light and build confidence around that. Level up over time.

trust_me_on_that_one · 2024-05-15T20:30:43+00:00

Malls are pretty bad, I have to agree. I did that a few times and I got nowhere. For me it was walking down the street where lots of people usually just walk around aimlessly and drinking their coffee.

This isn't seduction related but have you tried just approaching absolutely anyone as a warm up? I had terrible social anxiety and this is what helped me get over it - by literally approaching anyone. My anxiety comes back now and then and it's approaching anyone always help get rid of it.

SaaSWriters · 2024-05-15T22:43:56+00:00

How can I be more prepared for a future opportunity?

Look. Forget about what happened. It's past now.

Next time, don't wait for shopkeepers or for eye contact. Just walk up and say hello. No matter what happens, you'd have taken the first step.

Also, going out solo is usually the best way any way.

Well done.

AnAIAteMyBaby · 2024-05-15T23:13:05+00:00

Start with doing something, anything is better than just walking around for an hour not talking to anyone. I've been in the same situation walking around for hours not making a single approach, it's counter productive to aim for something too big for where you currently are.

So start small, ask a couple of women for the time,then ask some women for directions then try for some other indirect ways of starting a conversation. When you're comfortable consistently starting innocent conversations with people should you think about actually trying to pick up a girl.

Viktor2500 · 2024-05-15T21:59:09+00:00

So you decided to go out solo and spent an hour in the mall looking confused af?? I see the initiative but you're putting effort in the wrong direction. Are you generally good with girls? Do you know how to talk to people and carry a conversation carelessly? Being able to approach a girl and talk to her are two very separate things that you'll need to get good at. You can't do one without the other and if you approach her and you can't small talk it's going to be awkward as hell and you may even start building a bad reputation.

nurture420 · 2024-05-15T23:09:00+00:00

I wouldn’t go out on a mission this way, but rather be aware of organic opportunities as they arise IMHO. You will have encounters throughout your day and when you feel a connection with someone—go for rapport building and try to get some contact info!

ClitPlayaBootySlappa · 2024-05-16T01:47:58+00:00

Watch this, brother: https://youtu.be/jGJDKxWmcxA

Talks about: it's ok to be awkward when approaching. Not everything has to be super smooth. Especially when you're a beginner. Just go in, and get comfortable with the act of approaching.

JustNefariousness625 · 2024-05-16T03:03:04+00:00

Store workers are a no go they have to be nice they are good for practice tho. At least you went out and tried keep going

Dandys3107 · 2024-05-16T07:04:03+00:00

Don't get bitter, experiment with different type of mindsets and methods and learn from mistakes. And I would suggest to max out your appearance for such direct approaching.

stuff_of_legend · 2024-05-16T12:36:30+00:00

Solo approaching is brutal because you’re in your own head the entire time and if you don’t find good strategies to put yourself in the moment it can result in issues that are detrimental to your seduction journey. I did it solo for many years because I didn’t have a wingman, I had many great successes doing solo but honestly the toll it takes on your mental wellbeing isn’t worth the effort if you plan on doing it long term. The most fun I had with the most effortless results was when I had a wingman, but the wingmen I’ve had were all naturals and not students of the game so they couldn’t grasp that non-social environment stranger approaching is a whole different dynamic than social circle or a club so they got disillusioned when I was doing meet-to-sex regularly and all they got were flakes, and naturals think they know women and aren’t open to your advice so I could never get any of them to be true pick up artists. Best advice I have is to find a good wingman, if you can’t then find ways to stay in the moment and out of your thoughts because the not approaching will get very frustrating when it becomes a pattern and frustration is the biggest enemy to game.

Competitive-Ask4393 · 2024-05-15T20:17:01+00:00

Malls are the worst place to start. Just solo night life and learn there, it’s easier and you won’t misinterpret signals.

bearjew289 · 2024-05-15T20:43:32+00:00

I've never understood why men think walking around malls by themselves was a good way to meet women compared to the numerous other choices

wealthsoup · 2024-05-15T21:29:49+00:00

Do a warm-up approach. Start a conversation with anyone and don't have any expectations.

PhaseLimp8771 · 2024-05-15T22:53:36+00:00

For me I can do better solo mainly because I don't have do babysit my wingman

Beginning-Pass-3243 · 2024-05-16T01:37:24+00:00

Just be your self and walk up say I'm (your name) how are you

MrAlexander18 · 2024-05-16T08:23:29+00:00

Approach and compliment women you aren't attracted to initially. Get in the mode of being social as soon as you leave the house. Say hi or compliment people, men or women, as you pass them in the street. It doesn't have to be a compliment that takes much thinking, just say "hi, can I just compliment your style. You dress well." Or "hi, can I just say that those shoes/dress look great on you."

I remember complimenting a random older woman i wasn't attracted to. Her reaction was interesting. She immediately started smiling and even gave me a compliment in return. A compliment is a powerful thing, it can literally turn a frown upside down and make a strangers day.

NoMoassNeverWas · 2024-05-16T09:10:01+00:00

I think speaking to shop workers is your best idea to dive in.

OP here's what I want you to do.

Go back to the mall, go inside each store and ask worker to direct you to men's section. Ask if they are offering any special sales. Ask where the fitting room is located. Smile, stand up straight, and feel confident, do not break eye contact and do not rush.

Exit to store, walk into the next store beside it and perform the same thing. Every store from candles to bedding to shoes. Do every single store, approach both men and women, but especially women, especially the kind that make you nervous. You'll begin to notice it becoming easier. You'll notice some workers are warmer than others, some are cold and dismissive.

When you get a warm staff, follow up with more questions. Become daring and comment on their clothing, if they got that here. "I like that shirt, did you get it here? Did they have something similar to that in mens?"

meditate_and_love · 2024-05-16T18:38:10+00:00

Can I tell you a secret? Start talking to people men and women alike. It is a confident trait to be outgoing so that's a plus, but the real win here is that people like and are starving to hear nice things, so you are making the world a little better while building up your confidence. Be authentic and tell people kind things and soon it will be natural and easy for you to say those things to your audience of choice. Also chicks smell a fake a mile away. Be your total self and fucking love yourself. That thing alone will attract so many people to you and it is also the best fucking way to live. Authenticity wins Everytime. Love you brother

mcchigguns · 2024-05-17T03:08:36+00:00

Good for you bro, this is the start of something that will change your life. Like going to the gym, this shit is mostly benefits.

Im a dude that started out going out every night for 6 months to learn this, it was a bit excessive, but I got some tips for you:

If you set a schedule to go out on certain days/nights, and you're finding yourself resisting going out, start by making a deal with yourself to just get dressed, or just drive to the area, and if you don't feel like it, you can leave. Even driving to a place when you weren't going to at first is progress, eventually you'll be approaching the hottest girls with good vibes. I call this never having a 0 day.
After an approach, nomatter how she reacted, or how people around you took it, you had the balls to do something most men don't do anymore, don't beat yourself up, it's a win, and trust me, most guys around you secretly wish they had the nuts to not be an orbiter and be a fucking man.
Don't take it personal if some lady rejects you hard, it says more about her than you, and it generally is something completely out of your control
Don't get a wingman until you're already approaching consistently, most dudes you'll meet trying to practice don't approach, or they'll talk about "state" or some stupid shit that may influence your mental
Girls want to get approached and they want to fuck, you're doing them a favor, it's not always the best time or place, but they seriously complain when it's not happening.

epimpstyle · 2024-05-17T14:22:38+00:00

Shopworker - Let her do her job, she is trapped there and has to be nice to everyone. It is not a good idea to use your "talent" on her.

The other woman - well... this is indeed a lost opportunity . You could go after her: "hey, excuse me, I saw you [there] and I forgot to tell you something, I forgot to say hi .... bla bla bla"

Just was walking for an hour with 0 zero approaches. I got cold feet straight away when I was looking at the
girls.

Too few details to know what happened. Why did you not approched anyone? Not knowing what to say? Afraid of something? Maybe she won't like you? Maybe she won't hear you? If you think about it a little bit, I'm sure you'll realize that the real reason you didn't approach her is ridiculous, bizarre. I know guys who did not approach other girls simply because they thought about them, that they are superior to the girl and in case she rejects them, they are no longer superior and will hurt their EGO, see what a silly reason is this? But this is real.

WinningCommunication · 2024-05-16T00:23:48+00:00

Have a bit more of a plan and lower your bar. What happened to you is super common. Daytime walking around, over thinking then every little thing becomes a big missed opportunity. You want to get in motion and get momentum.

In terms of a lower bar: try going out with a PLAN of asking 3 workers, for example, where to find a certain item in a store. Or plan to make eye contact with 10 people. Stuff like that, small things. When you have a plan to do the small easy things, you are in motion so it is easier to transition to more serious approaches, besides those little things add up. You'd be surprised if you start asking 5-10 hot girls for directions a day how quickly that can transition into you making approaches.

romman00 · 2024-05-16T00:27:09+00:00

I pussied out with two amazing opportunities. One was with a shop worker that came to me and said “Do you want any help sir"

😂😂😂

Whole_Day9866 · 2024-05-16T02:54:14+00:00

Dude, I'm going to give you to straight up. You seem lonely as fuck. To a normal person, those interactions wouldn't be something that stays on their mind. It seems you have limited interaction with people in general. I'd stop focusing on women and turn your efforts into a hobby and find male friends. This will help you more than going out approaching women and placing your value on that bullshit. I love you, man. dms open if you want to chat!

GoGetter0130 · 2024-05-16T21:44:39+00:00

Just throw yourself in the fire and walk up and start talking to a girl. Research openers. You'll realize that it's not that scary no matter what the outcome ends up being. You want to talk at least for a few minutes so that you're not just asking for her number right away. Try to find common interests. Smile lightly/slyly upon your approach. Don't break eye contact too much. If she gets silent, fill the awkward silence.

Radical_Neutral_76 · 2024-05-15T20:23:25+00:00

Just ask for directions to a shop girls know of.

Title	Went out solo today
Author	kabiaman
Upvotes	98
Comments	43
Date	May 15, 2024 8:07 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1csuf35/went_out_solo_today/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/went-out-solo-today.1518586 https://theredarchive.com/post/1518586

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