"You probably couldn't handle me". How does one handle this blatantly obvious shit test?

2012-12-26T05:47:36+00:00

You were good at LOL and should have quit while you were ahead. Her response of "what's that supposed to mean" means that you passed the shit test. You threw her off guard and gave her an answer that intrigued and surprised her. From there you should have just redirected to another conversation topic or continued evading coyly. You failed because you a) decided to answer her question, and b) your answer seemed like you were trying too hard.

citizenc · 2012-12-26T04:47:58+00:00

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gabriot · 2012-12-26T05:14:27+00:00

Your mistake was not in what you said, but in answering the question in the first place. And mentioning "many girls" only made it worse.

I would've made fun of it. "You're so right. I'm must a dumb country hick overwhelmed by you and your city ways. I might have to run away with my tail between my legs."

AwkwardBUTfunctional · 2012-12-26T04:08:19+00:00

Not sure if this is the best answer but: I was going to say agree and amplify, but honestly in this case I think a sly smirk with a "you poor, innocent girl" while shaking your head and immediately changing the topic could work here depending on the girl.

It'll intrigue her, and she'll probably get in your face about it "WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?" I'd just give a "maybe you'll find out" with a shrug and change the topic. Now suddenly you put her in a position of her not being able to handle YOU. If not, she was rejecting you.

Nospmis · 2012-12-26T06:47:44+00:00

Shrug and reply "I tame lions for a living..."

2012-12-26T04:43:37+00:00

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chiminage · 2012-12-26T05:46:48+00:00

Chuckle........your bedframe couldnt handle me.

readonlyuser · 2012-12-26T08:18:48+00:00

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thisisnot_me · 2012-12-26T08:06:49+00:00

To me, that line sounds more like pure rejection than a shit test. If I was going to treat it like shit test though...

Here's why it is very difficult to navigate this statement: It is a statement you get to mold the definition of after it has been said, based on the receiver's reaction. is it about sex? Is it about social activities/nightlife? It could be a yes or no to a great many things and she could play the "how dare you assume it was about sex?!" card even if that is what she meant. There are a lot of statements that exploit after-the-fact-ninjitsu (by design). I have heard this one before, and think it's the the mother-load of these kinds of statements.

Here's some reaction ideas off the top of my head:

"Sounds like fear to me." NO (explicit insult) "let's make sure" so-so (delivery makes all the difference. Could sound needy/pleading) "I bet you say that to all the guys." Better (redirect and keep it ambiguous/meaningless). "I'm not sure what that means. DO you mean, like, you're a psychotic?" Wild Card (HUGE push, though I might be one of the few who can pull that one off and make it out alive). "haha - what a classic shit test." Exit strategy/shame her for saying it

Here's one possible longer path, but perhaps more potential for success:

you: "sorry, what?"

(smile with the most confidence you've ever communicated in a smile and make razor sharp eye contact. The good kind, not the creepy kind.)

Her: "I said you probably couldn't handle me"

(she will most likely be less confident when she repeats herself because you weren't paying attention to her which shuts down the premise of her bold assertion anyway. You smiling while she's talking will communicate "It's adorable that you think that." but will work much better than saying something along those lines out loud. When picking someone up, most character statements about the subject should be implicit, not explicit (Do not use that information for evil).

You'd really need to feel it out at this point. Muster all your reading-people skills and find out what the best thing to say at this point would be. Possible options, depending on the vibe you'd be getting:

"Are you sure you're not going to worry about it later, if we don't find out for sure?"

cute/vulnerable response. If she's not into you at all this will not work.

"Why don't we just relax and have a drink?"

Changes the subject, subtly implies that she's being harsh and should consider having a harmless drink with you.

There are probably more options here. Something more sexually aggressive, another push, the "I gotta take a piss, order me a ____." move etc.

The best luck I've ever had was being cute or silly when responding to a shit test in a way the redirects and/or highlights that they've gotten a bit too serious about me/our interaction to even make such a statement.

what happened leading up to this moment is very important though. How to handle it depends on the context. This could be something she just says to guys a lot in order to throw them off, or it could be a red flag to move on because she's locked on rejection no matter what you do or say.

july25 · 2012-12-26T04:08:13+00:00

I would have ignored it and switched topics after the "LOL"

yoloswagetc · 2012-12-27T06:55:20+00:00

I think a simple 'Try me' would have sufficed

tathai · 2012-12-26T04:14:32+00:00

You tried to argue with that which made you fail the test. Why would the alpha male (/cool guy/whatever) need to to that? To him it's all a joke. You tried to show that it's a joke to you, but tried to hard to prove that point.

Agree and amplify!

"Yeah I totally couldn't!" + what dmahan says

NEVER argue about how good you are in the bedroom.

2012-12-26T14:11:10+00:00

sarcastic agreement. nuf said

achinator · 2012-12-26T14:33:01+00:00

eye roll, smirk, continue conversation

bluehat9 · 2012-12-26T16:33:55+00:00

I would have really preferred if you gave us a little bit of the pre-story so we could understand the context of her using this line. Without that it is really hard to say how to go forward other than generic shit like "agree and amplify."

DrBadfish28 · 2012-12-26T07:02:17+00:00

"Only one way to find out..."

Kozbot · 2012-12-26T13:33:49+00:00

"Why? Do you have a penis?" or "Why? how big is your penis?"

busybenj · 2012-12-26T05:25:14+00:00

You're probably right. Take hand, drag straight to bathroom to find out.

2012-12-26T13:39:01+00:00

why would you even want to continue, she sounds like a total bitch

deletedLink · 2012-12-26T14:26:27+00:00

This is pretty situational. IF she's saying it playfully and not in a very serious manner, escalation is the approach I'd take.

Serious look in her eyes, hand on the shoulder, sneaking back to the base of the neck, fingers go into her hair with a snug pull, bringing her to you. . . "You have no idea what you're in for." Or my favorite line, "The first time I fuck you, you're going to be a little frightened, because I'm a man and I know what I'm doing."

Then just let go, give her a nice smile and walk.

2nd_class_citizen · 2012-12-26T09:08:38+00:00

Solution to every shit test: agree and amplify!

Hurricane_Carter · 2012-12-26T09:29:41+00:00

"Why not?"

Make her put up or shut up.

2012-12-26T09:30:54+00:00

im assuming this was a text message conversation

A. you probably should avoid texting like this.. as it is much easier for her to throw this kind of shit around. it takes a ballsy woman to say this face to face

B. Accept and amplify.

bluehat9 · 2012-12-26T14:09:26+00:00

all shit tests are best handled by over-agreeing. If she says: you probably couldn't handle me. You loud and proudly say: I definitively wouldn't be able to handle you.

2012-12-26T16:18:57+00:00

Fuck that, put her on the spot for it. Make her articulate to you what about her is so badass that you "couldn't handle it".

I don't get this. When I go out, I look like trouble, and I'm generally known to be trouble, and get introduced as trouble. If anything, I have to do a little convincing that I'm not going to get girls arrested for the shit we do when they hang out with me, even if that concern isn't really warranted in reality.

You could also just laugh it off and change the subject, hopefully to something that makes her qualify herself a little bit.

starts_s_ends_lick · 2012-12-26T17:06:27+00:00

There's some good advice here, but a lot of questionable advice too. If you scroll down the sidebar, you'll find some wonderful resources. One of which is a guide on shit tests. In short (but without the helpful details) you have to

a) Ignore, or b) Agree and amplify.

EVERYBODY: READ THE GUIDES IN THE SIDEBAR! It's there for a reason!

bonerfleximus · 2012-12-26T17:55:15+00:00

"You're probably right"...

walk away

demonstrate value with periphery females, let her approach you.

Wiggin_Andrew · 2012-12-26T17:57:13+00:00

"Probably" doesn't sound too confident. Tell me, do guys usually buy into this line of bullshit?

rmbarnes · 2012-12-26T18:41:10+00:00

The best thing to do here is probably to ignore it. She's fishing for some kind of response when she says this, and when she doesn't get one it will intrigue her and probably push her into the chasing frame, where she's attempting to get you to react to her.

huyvanbin · 2012-12-26T22:40:27+00:00

So, sounds like you couldn't handle her. /s

Jaricho · 2012-12-27T01:17:09+00:00

The best result I got was from this:

Yeah you are right.

They cannot compute it if you stay confident and keep doing whatever you do and still agree to that.

Make3 · 2012-12-27T03:34:30+00:00

Take note from politicians. When people make statements or ask question you can't answer without looking defensive, don't even acknoledge the question, and move on to something that better fits your agenda, in this case, upping the sexual tension. "You probably couldn't handle me" "Your freckles make you look pretty sexy for a someone without a soul"

Bhorzo · 2012-12-27T17:42:11+00:00

You played into it by trying to prove yourself. Mentioning other girls just made it worse.

Hu_Da_Man · 2012-12-27T19:21:50+00:00

"Why, what's so special about you?" or "You look plain to me." Then she will try to qualify herself.

LightHeavy · 2012-12-28T18:43:23+00:00

'You sound like a pro wrestler'

Nexdominus · 2012-12-26T14:51:53+00:00

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2012-12-26T10:24:49+00:00

I agree. It would be cool if you wing me while I talk to your friend, though.

floor-pi · 2012-12-26T14:36:41+00:00

This is a shit test. Agree and amplify. Having said that, i find that girls who filter men with this frame are ones that should be avoided. They'll make it their business that you can't handle them, if they can, and it's not a lot of fun.

2012-12-26T14:53:32+00:00

you should have just said "yh ok". the response here is to respond without responding, or at least show that you're not taking her seriously. trying to prove yourself is the worse thing you could do in this situation

TerryYockey · 2012-12-26T15:12:56+00:00

Thanks for your advice, everyone!

Virus111 · 2012-12-26T07:11:05+00:00

"That sounds like a challenge."

SlyfoxV · 2012-12-26T09:29:35+00:00

Who said I was going to your my hands?

TerryYockey · 2012-12-26T19:50:47+00:00

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2012-12-26T21:19:29+00:00

How about this:

Her: You probably couldn't handle me Me: LOL Her: What's that supposed to mean? Me: LOL Her: Why? Me: LOL Her: You're driving me crazy! Me: I love when little girls like you misbehave, little that you know that if you and I ever hook up, you'll be begging me to spank you Her: O_o Me: Has anyone ever gone ape on your ass so that you were not able to sit for a couple of days?

askinnymotherfucker · 2012-12-26T04:09:13+00:00

"Wouldn't you like to know?"
"Eww, sexually?"
"You're totally right. Now, kiss me."

dmahan · 2012-12-26T03:49:38+00:00

"Yeah, I prefer women to make me sandwiches and give me back rubs"

redrobot5050 · 2012-12-26T06:45:03+00:00

"You're right. I'm not used to handling damaged goods. With a smile like mine, I don't have to."

Then suggest you do something ("another drink?") or eject.

Title	"You probably couldn't handle me". How does one handle this blatantly obvious shit test?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	68
Comments	113
Date	December 26, 2012 3:36 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/15g7ue/you_probably_couldnt_handle_me_how_does_one/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/you-probably-couldnt-handle-me-how-does-one-handle.1344869 https://theredarchive.com/post/1344869

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