Alimony

This_Train340i · 2024-07-16T20:01:14+00:00

Equitable division happens first, then alimony which usually doesn't take into account the distributed assets. She has a need for alimony and you have the ability to pay, those are the criteria. Between alimony and CS, expect half of your check to be garnished every month. Better bet is getting her back in the work force. She shouldn't be able to retire on your labor for the rest of her life. Another way to handle it is to have her accept a lump sum alimony award and give her more than half of the savings, maybe even all of it. Talk to a WA lawyer and see what the alimony numbers are and whether you'd get ahead quicker with a lump sum alimony agreement.

This_Train340i · 2024-07-16T19:56:16+00:00

You could take all that money out of the bank and lose it all in the stock market or gambling or become a victim of a bitcoin scam. These things happen.

bkdad75 · 2024-07-14T20:46:54+00:00

You might be able to say that because she has this money she can earn xxx investment income and that this must be imputed to her when deciding her CS and alimony. It won't be much though. I'm trying that argument with some signs of success, although the assets she's receiving are a great deal more, lending it more force hopefully.

karavan7 · 2024-07-13T23:53:43+00:00

Ugh. Get a lawyer. Give up nothing until the divorce and custody plan are signed. You can always add to it later. The law is written to advantage the heterosexual mother.

MikeboltupG · 2024-07-13T22:37:19+00:00

Question; ex would get about 150k of my 401k or should i pay her off with sale of home?

Particular_Car7127 · 2024-07-13T21:18:09+00:00

Having recently sold your home, get a low cost rental. Now is the time to lower your standard of living. The divorce game where men get crushed is all your hard work and sacrifice goes down the toliet. The days of sacrifice on your part need to end yesterday. Stop working overtime, but rather be with your kid as much as you can. Every school event, sports event, or doctors visit. Again, you will get crushed because she currently is a SAHM. You have 520k free and clear, I suggest you take some time right now to enjoy alittle bit of your hard labor. I am not saying go out and blow money, you will be sorry you did in family court. Be sensible! Pay off your debts if any. Stop contributing to your 401k, (your just giving her more in the end). Plan an exit strategy. If you have a life dream, do it and finance it now.

tyyyy110 · 2024-07-13T18:27:16+00:00

Not advising you to stay and live in unhappiness but is there any way you could perhaps plan a solid exit strategy? Check all the boxes and stomach a few more years with her until the child gets older?

If not the financial responsibility appears to be alot on you. She's a sahm, kid is 11. If the stbxw can get a job that'll be helpful.

Strict-Front-2375 · 2024-07-13T17:48:29+00:00

No, Alimony and Equitable Distribution tend not to have any impact on each other. All assets considered marital property are split, and whatever your jurisdiction alimony formula is followed, both to determine if qualified and how much. Typically, expect about 30-40% of your pay to go to alimony if her income is zero.

But this is all if you let a judge decide; you can agree yourself on whatever you want too.

NewDay0110 · 2024-07-13T17:21:36+00:00

So sorry. You're set up for the worse possible long term financial outcome. You did your job to be a dutiful provider for your wife and child, and the government will reward you by making you your former spouse's life-long pension through alimony. You lose all of the benefits of your family, and most if not all of your future disposable income will go to her. This is why I think marriage as an institution is evil, antiquated, and should be abolished in its current form. If I knew such an outcome were possible, I would have never gotten married. No rational person would.

You should seriously consider finding a job in a state with no alimony, relocating even if you have to ditch you family, and file the divorce in that jurisdiction the first day you quality.

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2024-07-13T17:19:41+00:00

I personally would offer more up front cash to pay no alimony. Cash flow becomes important as you’re trying to pay bills with at half you’re income

Gattsama · 2024-07-13T16:42:19+00:00

I am also in WA state. You need to contact a local attorney asap. Here's a general overview of the process in WA:

https://www.genesislawfirm.com/divorce-washington-state

Can find lots of videos and articles about divorce in WA.

With that, you can expect a 50/50 split of all communal assets and debts. She will qualify for spousal support. The question is how long and how much.

The general rule of thumb is mid-term marriage's length is 1 year for every 3-4 years of marriage. And for long term marriages, life-long support is possible. There are, however, no actual laws. Just general rules. Long-term marriage is normally over 20 years OR over 25 years.

If you are a mid-term marriage, then a reasonable length for support would be 5.5-7.5 years. But if you are considered long-term, then life could be possible (not guaranteed).

As for the amount, it is highly customized. The general rule is that the max is 50% or gross or 40% of net. That's the max. it should be less.

Your goal is to avoid lifelong support. Keep the length of support as short as possible. Keep the amount as low as possible. You can then decide how to pay her. Once the amount is know you could pay her off in a lump sum from you half of the assets, or an unequal division in lieu of support. So let's day she gets 7 years of support at $4/mo for a total of $336k. You could give her extra money up front to decrease or eliminate that. If it's life long support than the goal is keep the payment as low as possible and plan to ask for a recalculation once you retire, then consider expat :)

purehappysoul · 2024-07-13T16:33:12+00:00

When it says indefinitely does it ath retirement age of65?

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2024-07-13T16:28:09+00:00

For some jurisdictions it can be 40% of your net income (after CS) less 50% of her net income. Very important to get her working.

Flashy-Excitement247 · 2024-07-13T16:17:55+00:00

At least in CA, the answer is no. That is just equity division, and the state has a templates calc for determining spousal and child support. That doesn't prevent you from negotiating the terms of the separation (read: lawyer, yesterday!). But the state will likely mandate spousal support, despite the assets you are dividing. Going through this now. Spousal support of about $5k... Forever. FML. Your lawyer can work with you to help bring down the cost, by looking at various financial mitigating factors. But you will need to seek legal advice on this per your own jurisdiction.

Mattythrowaway85 · 2024-07-13T16:16:53+00:00

You're going to get fucked my man. If i were you I'd be protecting myself. I had to give half the value of our house and she got alimony based on my $130k income at the time. You need to start fighting for her to get a job right now so that will lower the alimony you have to pay her. Between alimony and child support, your likely to be giving her over 50% of your net income, and you'll be paying all the taxes, and the health insurance. I got absolutely decimated because the ex was a stay at home mom with no income. If you see it trending that way, you need to document and convey your desire for her to get back to work asap. Keep records and keep it documented when/if she refuses. This way you'll be able to show the court your attempts and her refusal to get to work. Good luck. As it stands now, expect the worst.

Title	Alimony
Author	Jtkman
Upvotes	7
Comments	44
Date	July 13, 2024 4:10 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1e2e1l3/alimony/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/alimony.1524179 https://theredarchive.com/post/1524179

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