Rushing into a Separation Agreement

GoldPotential6298 · 2021-09-11T18:43:45+00:00

Horrible language. Basically kicking you out while leaving you in the hook for the mortgage for an undetermined period of time. Don’t move out and hat a lawyer mow. She’s going to fuck you.

cdjohnny · 2021-09-11T21:22:39+00:00

If she can't qualify on her own you need to sell the house. Otherwise you will never get your equity and will end up back in court forcing her to sell the house. Are there any other assets you can exchange for the equity?

The house may be great but this is a consequence of divorce. She can't have her cake and eat it too. Protect yourself and don't sign anything until a lawyer reviews...its worth the money and time.

GoldPotential6298 · 2021-09-11T18:43:52+00:00

Horrible language. Basically kicking you out while leaving you in the hook for the mortgage for an undetermined period of time. Don’t move out and get a lawyer now. She’s going to fuck you.

Throwaway4120213 · 2021-09-11T21:19:13+00:00

Absolutely no way you should sign that. No way.

Basically you are being made to give her an unspecified amount of time to refinance. Your equity could be locked in for years costing you 5-10% a year by not having the money now to invest in the markets while she gets a 0% loan. Oh yeah and say she can’t get refinanced for 3yrs and your house appreciates - you provided a 0% loan, lost out on investment gains, and lose out on any house appreciation.

Do not give more than 6months for her to refinance. I personally would insist on exchange of other assets like retirement funds or sale of the house but if you want to give her time - anything more than 6 months is absolutely foolish for many reasons. If she cannot refinance you in 6 months - then the house gets sold or you get the opportunity to buy her out.

Separately - posters are correct. No sure why YOU should be the one to give up the home and move out unless that is what you want. Stand up for what you are legally entitled to. Don’t martyr yourself for someone who doesn’t care about you anymore and no longer wants to be your partner or commit to you.

fps81 · 2021-09-11T19:45:22+00:00

If she wants the divorce, why are you moving? The person who wants out should be the one to leave. And the kids stay with you. Anything else, you'll be absolutely screwed.

CrazySanta7 · 2021-09-11T19:33:55+00:00

Most attorneys have free consultations. Why are you moving out when she wants the eventual divorce? F that. A separation in most cases is a longer path to dovorce, but you might be in state that has mandatory seoaration period, is that correct?

Can you clarify the equity statement (100% of what is owed)? 100% equity would be if you don't have a mortgage. As far as a refinance, good luck (to her) trying to get a refinance based on a separation agreement off the internet. Can she afford it based on her income? I was forced to refinance to get ex's name off deed and note (TX), but i had to get qualify to do so. If you owe none or very little, a cash out refinance (if your state allows) can be done to 'buy her out' from an equity perspective.

playerknowmore · 2021-09-11T19:28:01+00:00

If you can't get a lawyer; go to your local court house and see if someone can look over the documents. I hope I'm wrong, but it look this looks like she's trying a classic cut in paste. Whoever is taking your place can't afford your share of the mortgage. Good luck!

Calm_Tomato · 2021-09-11T20:08:59+00:00

I would ask for a payout if that’s what you want. But have it in writing that it must be refinanced in her name only and X will be paid out to you within a certain time frame.

Vigilante17 · 2021-09-11T22:02:23+00:00

Yeah, my wife ended things, but I stayed at the house. If she wants out so bad, she can go. In my opinion, unless you’ve violated your wife’s trust, cheated or did something nefarious, you don’t need to leave unless you absolutely want to. And you’ll get a lot of advice to not give up that asset so easily. I was eventually forced to sell, but we made an extra $100k on the house by me being there for an extra 10 months in today’s market. Don’t rush. Get advice. Listen to your gut.

temp_password123abc · 2021-09-11T22:12:39+00:00

don't rush.

"Wisely and slow. They stumble that run fast." -Friar Lawrence (Shakespeare)

teufelinderflasche · 2021-09-11T23:56:42+00:00

This should be part of divorce negotiations not separation.

Mynewadventures · 2021-09-12T01:35:45+00:00

Change "W" to "H" (you) and see how that looks.

Why are you giving her all of this?

cloudburr · 2021-09-11T22:27:44+00:00

Funny how they always end the marriage, and expect US to leave our own home.

Do not sign.

Do not rush. Get a lawyer and get them to advise you.

I cannot stress this enough, this is the BIGGEST event in your life, the deal you cut now will determine the course of your life for the next ten, maybe twenty if not longer years. Take your time.

thedarkaquarian007 · 2021-09-12T00:47:48+00:00

Do Not sign anything! Take control! hire a lawyer! Hire a lawyer! Hire a lawyer!

pegleg_legal · 2021-09-13T05:11:20+00:00

1) sell the house (not going to happen, this is a great family home)

Pissing away your leverage.

Chip512 · 2021-09-12T01:27:13+00:00

Get an attorney, a good one. Have them review agreements an, probably, draft ones that are fair. Do not be rushed or talked out of getting an attorney.

Striking-Trainer8148 · 2021-09-12T13:59:17+00:00

Moving out is the literal worst thing you can do

Jigglytep · 2021-09-12T14:14:04+00:00

Dude you are so raw ! I'm so sorry this is happening to you please slow down you. I know where you are coming from you love your family and your wife just asked you for the unimaginable and you are trying to accommodate hopefully it will workout.

HOWEVER you are about to put your self in a legal equivalent of dropping the soap on the first day of prison and hoping it all works out.

Here is what your ex can legally do when you move out: I bet you can't find a rental in the same school district as your kids now, I bet the rent is too much for you to afford especially since you will need at least a two bedroom or three if you have different sexes. Am I right? She will then say that you can only have the kids on the weekend so they can attend school. And this will course have nothing to do with her not wanting to pay child support. Meanwhile she can move in her boyfriend or girlfriend.

Let her use her 20k additional income to go move out and figure herself out instead of uprooting the whole family.

Here is your assignment for right now: -YouTube mistakes men make during divorce, spoiler it's moving out! - google alimony calculator +your state - google child support calculator + your state

Tomorrow get an appointment with a therapist and a lawyer you need both.

You got sucker punched and you are probably experiencing the equivalent of a mourning a death. You need a counselor.

Get a free counseltation from there lawyers you can do it via zoom if you can't go in person.

Do not sign anything do not move out.

Hupa718109 · 2021-09-16T00:00:05+00:00

I am in same predicament. We are basically going to set guidelines, rules, and stipulations for this to work. All done by a lawyer of course. I don’t want my 2 daughters to leave my home. But I can only pray my ex comes to her senses one day soon.

Title	Rushing into a Separation Agreement
Author	blackkristos
Upvotes	11
Comments	29
Date	September 11, 2021 6:31 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/pmcr74/rushing_into_a_separation_agreement/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/rushing-into-a-separation-agreement.1069233 https://theredarchive.com/post/1069233

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