Revenge?

Eve-3 · 2022-04-09T03:54:50+00:00

A happy ex puts up less of a fight in a divorce. If you disrupt her and her fling too much he may break up with her, which means she's not happy any longer and will fight for more in the divorce. So you need to decide what is more important to you, ruin her affair now or ruin her affair later after you got the best deal possible from your divorce.

pilotbrown16 · 2022-04-09T11:40:41+00:00

Sleep with that's guys wife too while your at it.

whatskeeping · 2022-04-09T10:55:24+00:00

In the end that guy will dump her, you'll see. Everything will come out. Keep your cool and let karma do the work.

bacon-wrapped-steak · 2022-04-09T15:51:50+00:00

Tell the other guy's wife about it after the divorce is finalized. The top comment in this thread is definitely the best advice.

playerknowmore · 2022-04-09T17:09:56+00:00

Wait until after the divorce. Buy a mother's day card, and print your proof; insert it in a card. Return address should be from someone who is keeping her secret. Mail it from a nearby town that has no connections to you.

If you do this before the divorce it will negatively impact your divorce. At this point you shouldn't do anything but what your lawyer advises.

missmewitDam · 2022-04-09T22:14:43+00:00

When catching a cheating spouce, the light is your friend. It's coming to a head in my divorce where the entire family on both sides will see the audio/video recordings, documents, emails, reports etc. My soon to be ex-wife was not very smart with her affair cover up, like at all, idk who she thinks she's going up against lol I do data collection and mitigation for a living, not smart of her at all. I've got her dead to rights on infidelity ten ways from Sunday, and two of her immediate family members will also be attesting to everything they know (it's a lot they know) willingly as far as child abandonment and the affair. But it took a long time to get to this point. I'll reiterate again, the light and transparency is your friend and hopefully you live in a state that will not reward the ex for infidelity. I'm lucky and live in VA where infidelity and child neglect/abandonment is not rewarded. Anyway, let everyone know. EVERYONE.

turbospeedsc · 2022-04-12T01:13:35+00:00

Just get done with you divorce and cut your losses, rhe goal is to get as far as possible from you ex and drama, just remember this:

Life puts everyone at their correct place.

turbospeedsc · 2022-04-12T01:56:33+00:00

Just get done with you divorce and cut your losses, rhe goal is to get as far as possible from you ex and drama, just remember this:

Life puts everyone at their correct place.

Playbackfromwayback · 2022-04-09T06:56:14+00:00

It would be embarrassing for your kids for this to come out in the community. I would keep it to myself. Once you open that door you can’t undo it.

SnooChipmunks8506 · 2022-04-09T12:51:30+00:00

The mentality of people thinking they are stupid because they didn't learn sooner is.... well... stupid.

Don't beat yourself up about not knowing that your STBX is a whore. It is admirable that you are playing it carefully about the divorce and your feelings about wanting confrontation are normal and understandable.

Rely on your attorney and get as much as you can because you will be taking care of your kids. Use the information of the adultery for your negotiating advantage.

Once everything is done, confront that bitch, tell the other man's wife, buy advertisements on spotify, or whatever you want, it is your discretion at that point.

Also, a suggestion; read "No more Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert A. Glover (amazon link below).

This book helps men to understand that constant self sacrifice destroys relationships and respect. It is great to build boundaries and enforce them.. you will recover your masculinity, strengthen your heart, and act in a more self confident manner.

Good luck brother. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0762415339/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_A57YXA2SG6AXMBA9M6G8

FriendswithPoodles · 2022-04-09T12:55:25+00:00

Anonymous letters and anonymous communications are often ignored. If you want an accusation to really be taken seriously, say it yourself. I’d put information about the affair in your court filings, so that they are a public record and so that they’ll have credibility (your lawyer will check them all to confirm that they are true before your lawyer will allow them in court filings). Then once the divorce is over, send those to her.

bad_motives7 · 2022-04-09T13:33:15+00:00

I went through the same exact thing. I mean exact. My former friend and neighbor was the baseball coach of my son. I considered the same road that you're thinking of But ultimately decided against it for my children. My thought process was that there would surely be the type of reaction you were talking about, but then it would become gossip for our other neighbors and friends. I didn't want to put my kids through that. Just something to consider. Good luck to you.

WartimeDad · 2022-04-09T14:44:00+00:00

Why anonymous?

introhr · 2022-04-09T15:02:39+00:00

Wait until you are in the clear with all papers signed if you are planning to do anything.

warrior_up · 2022-04-09T16:28:47+00:00

Let her stay in la la land, play the game the best you can. Get the divorce done while she thinks she’s getting away with it

You can go scorched earth later if you still have the fucks left to do so

sdubd · 2022-04-09T17:25:54+00:00

The golden rule applies here. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." If you were his wife wouldn't you want to know? I would.

slab3 · 2022-04-09T17:57:31+00:00

just do what your lawyer says for now

pegleg_legal · 2022-04-11T06:35:12+00:00

If you do that tactically (or threaten to do it, which would be more effective) at a point where negotiations have stalled in order to apply pressure, then I would say yes. If you are doing it for emotional release - absolutely not.

Title	Revenge?
Author	anonuser637373
Upvotes	29
Comments	32
Date	April 9, 2022 3:45 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/tzkshd/revenge/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/revenge.1110673 https://theredarchive.com/post/1110673

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