I Hate This Argument On FOM Violence

Tardigrade_Disco · 2023-09-20T22:01:58+00:00

It's a complete myth that female on male violence is less severe. An outright lie. Men may be stronger, but violence from female abusers tends to involve weapons. Stabbing, poisoning, even throwing boiling water on their victim, and often the violence is carried out after the initial conflict is over, such as when the man is sleeping. Violence from female abusers is just as lethal.

rammo123 · 2023-09-20T22:07:11+00:00

It kind of implies that it's OK to abuse your partner as long as you only use the force a woman could muster.

hshsgdve · 2023-09-21T01:03:17+00:00

An intimate partner got violent with me. She and others shrugged it off and also said that I probably deserved it. It’s straight up sexism. There no other way to slice it. You’ve just gotta accept the fact that people might declare they’re against sexism, while mostly acting very sexist. Remember that when they ask for a favour based on their gender, eg. “Can you carry this suitcase for me?”

lewdnep-vasilias_666 · 2023-09-20T22:20:08+00:00

I like the argument Mr Enter (I know he's controversial) uses in his discussion of this. That the average bear weighs more than the average man, yet for years men have successfully hunted bears.

This argument people use to dismiss FOM violence is just sexist both ways, both implying that all men should be able to take charge and fight as well as that all women have no strength or fighting abilities of their own. Just goes to show how misogyny and misandry come hand-in-hand and you can't have one without the other.

bluefootedpig · 2023-09-20T22:41:11+00:00

You were robbed by a knife, you shouldn't worry because it wasn't by gun. /S

Throwthat84756 · 2023-09-21T02:24:00+00:00

Yeah exactly, its incredibly frustrating and hypocritical. You can even see this kind of logic extend into movies and tv shows as well. Its incredible how many tv shows and movies are out there that not only involve FOM violence but also treat it as a hilarious joke as well because women can't possibly harm men to the same extent that men can harm women. Violence is violence. It doesn't matter who does it, violent behaviour should never be tolerated. If you see a woman being violent towards a man and you know that kind of behaviour wouldn't be tolerated with the genders reversed, then you call it out straight away and not make excuses for it.

On a similar note, I also hate how these exact kind of arguments are also used when it comes to misandry vs misogyny, and how the common feminist retort is always "misogyny kills, misandry is just hurt feelings". Never mind the fact that misandry can extend well beyond hurt feelings and can involve violence, why is it that all of a sudden hurt feelings are not that big of a deal? How many times have we seen the progressive left express their outrage when someone makes an incredibly racist or homophobic statement towards a minority group? They even have a term for this; hate speech. Plenty of people in the progressive left (including feminists) are more than happy to aggressively condemn and call out people who say mean things that hurt other peoples feelings. Its beyond obvious that they take hurt feelings very seriously. Yet all of a sudden, when it comes to men, this care and concern just disappears and they just turn a blind eye to it or downplay it. Its a massive and infuriating double standard.

JetChipp · 2023-09-21T00:20:04+00:00

This argument implies that is ok to abuse your partner as long as you do it with enough "delicacy".

Admirable_Wasabi1840 · 2023-09-21T00:18:21+00:00

I also seem to see that emotional violence is not called out as much especially when it is women doing it to men and while it doesn't have the same danger in the moment over time it can really add up and be devastating.

Juhnthedevil · 2023-09-20T22:24:20+00:00

To be honest, Mras are a bit guilty of that, as they sometimes use the argument of less lethality and injuries of females on male (supposedly cause women strength ) to explain the less death of women while still holding true that there is symmetry in DV. (I don't disagree that there is an unseen symmetry of numbers of some sort, just that it translates itself a bit differently, like in suicides, which for some reasons are never brought up in relation to DV)

But yeah, those that say female on male violence isn't dangerous and hence isn't worthy of barely as much attention, definitely are misandristic. They throw those garbage takes everytime Male victimization is brought up.

Marty-the-monkey · 2023-09-21T07:02:01+00:00

I'm gonna play devils advocate a bit here to illustrate how this particular issue shows some latent hypocrisy.

If you are of the oponion that men are naturally supposed to be leaders/head of house, are naturally physically (and some even say mentally) superior, and that women are inferior emotional creatures.

Then you can't complain about female of male violence.

I would like to underline that *I'm not dismissing the fact some women commit domestic abuse** but saying that the people who see women as inferior aren't in a position to say anything on the subject*

Real-Degree-8493 · 2023-09-21T02:28:30+00:00

Also I hate how it still associates physique with abuse. Abuse and violence has nothing to do with being strong. It just a dog whistle to say man bad by another means.

Sinnaatraa · 2023-09-21T07:10:36+00:00

The default argument to fom abuse, is that if a woman IS abusing a man, then the abuse in the relationship is always reciprocal. Atleast thats the argument I hear the most. "Oh she is protecting herself from her abusive boyfriend/ husband"

HelpfulPause8115 · 2023-09-21T08:05:15+00:00

and how the former doesn't have the same impact, severity, scale, etc.

What they forget is that it is normally is circle of violence. FOM-MOF-and back again, until something really breaks. Usually the woman. So by addressing women's violence you could decrease the violence women face, but that is not the actual aim.

ArmchairDesease · 2023-09-21T09:15:01+00:00

MoF happens more often. FoM happens less often. Therefore, victims of FoM violence are a minority.

As leftists, isn't it one of our main concerns that we should pay attention to the minorities, and not only focus on the majorities?

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